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Monday, 29 February 2016

My Job OR My Man?

If I didn't know better I'd have thought a blog reader sent this to @joroolumofin

She opened up to me about a challenge she's presently facing and it's so similar to the mail above, except in her case he wants her to take a lower paying and much less challenging (in his opinion) job, and in another career field, as he thinks the present one would leave no room to nurture a new marriage. 

For someone who's worked so hard to get ahead in her career it's the most difficult decision she's ever had to make; choosing to step down several rungs on the ladder and receive less than half the pay she's earning now, plus forego all the allowances and bonuses. This might also mean that she might lose the lifestyle she's now become accustomed to; travel, high quality clothes and even her parents' upkeep. She loves Bae and wants to be his wife (they're engaged at the moment) but it's not an easy move to make. 

Take these two ladies' situations into consideration and share your thoughts. I didn't feel qualified to advise so I merely offered her a listening ear. 

Ps; I really think it's unfair to ask anyone to leave their jobs when they don't want to, but this is a Nigerian reality. Most women have to leave good jobs or promising careers and settle for businesses that can be run from the home or shop, or monthly allowances, or nothing at all! I'm not talking about women who choose to be stay-at-home mums (so that can take care of the kids personally). I'm talking about the ones whose husbands tell them almost from the get go that they won't have a wife that works 9-5. I think this is unfair and selfish. Wives' dreams are just as valid as their husbands', no?

Some Thoughts On Bella Naija, SDK and LIB.

Social media has become the fastest way to keep abreast with news, goings-on, gossip and other people's lives. There are probably over a thousand Nigerian blogs, however among these Linda Ikeji's blog, Bella Naija and Stella Dimoko Korkus' blog are the most popular mainstream blogs at the moment, to the best of my knowledge. 

At different points in time I've been an avid follower of each blog. I've intermittently fallen in and out of love with them, and sometimes back again. Three different comments (by different commenters) as seen on Bella Naija pretty much sums up the reasons why. 

Linda Ikeji's Blog. Lmao. LIB that is copy and paste of everyone’s Instagram page and African correspondent for Kylie Jenners social media handles?? 

LIB that will have 50 comments on a topic and when you click on comments to read, all you see is : ‘seen’ ‘okay’ ‘well noted’ ‘Linda you must enjoy me’ ‘Yes, correct', all from people hungrily awaiting her blog giveaways?? Seriously??? 

No thanks boo, I’ d rather watch my nail polish dry.

Stella Dimoko Korkus Blog. I really am scared with the amount of hatred and negativity people have for each other. I will never go on that SDK blog again because it seems like it is a group of miserable people having a party over other peoples misfortunes! I hope she knows about the inevitability of karma, this to me is not journalism, it is misery ( having fun and joy over someone else’s predicament)

Bella Naija. Bella Naija Una no dey tire for ‘according to’???
Abi you sef no wan waka come??? 

Maybe you need to make some space off those your Wikipedia style articles and report this kind of’ ‘juicy jist' first hand.
It sure does seem to get a lot of comments. 

Oh I forgot, that’s for the razz blogs to source for right?
While you daintily do your usual ‘according ‘ to.

Nothing do you jare…. đź™Ś

My first introduction to Nigerian blogs was LIB and I hold it solely responsible for the near death of my reading culture. I loved it so much that it doused the passion I had for books. Back then, while the posts may have been "copy and paste", the comments were pure gold! They were intelligent, witty and greatly entertaining. I can still remember staying up till well past midnight hungrily devouring LIB comments and sporadically bursting into laughter. 

These days you cannot read the comments on LIB without your fingers twitching as they hungrily search for a trigger to squeeze to your head. A post has an average of 200 comments and 195 are "Linda Observe". "It's me Linda". "Seen". "Ok". "Ok, seen, next!". On and on it goes, sometimes I wonder how Linda feels about this; if she's indifferent as long as the comments stay in their several hundreds, or if she misses the comments and commenters of old. I guess this is what happens when your comments might earn you 100k at the end of the year...       

     What irks me even more than LIB commenters (if that's possible), is some simply nonsensical posts. Why someone's eggplant or nipple is news-worthy is a great mystery to me, yet the blog never seems to run out of such ludicrousness! But then again, that's probably the readers enjoy them so much...

SDK's blog used to be bae. Until it began to feel toxic, terribly toxic; the blog, the posts, the commenters, the comments, toxic! I also noticed I was beginning to feel extremely pessimistic and frightful about marriage, I began to feel that my marriage was doomed even though there was no suitor in sight yet. I noticed my SDK addiction was affecting my psyche and not in a good way, so I did what was best for me and stayed away. However it seems that she's taken measures to balance things out on her blog, so now there are chronicles of hope, generous giveaways, promising matchmaking as singles mingle, free advertisements for businesses and services, and other fun & positive posts. Yet, I still can't help but agree with the commenter above, all that reveling in someone else's misery simply makes one lose faith in humanity. 

Bella Naija is difficult to fault, I think. You might say it's classist, or find some of the readers to be bourgeois or pretentious, but you've got to love Bella Naija! Besides the thorough professionalism with which that site is run, I particularly love BN for the comment section. It has the most brilliant, educative, mature, hilarious and eclectic comment section ever. However BN is far from perfect.

    As the commenter above noticed, BN wants the traffic and excitement that comes with spilling tea and dirt, yet are too scared to get their hands dirty. When they do spill tea, it ends up being so awkward and half baked that you can't help but beg them to leave that brand of gossip to the experts and stick to their fashion & lifestyle parole. You'd also notice that when there's likely to be any trace of dirt on their hands they never claim the posts as theirs and you'd spot several 'according to's or 'culled from's and so on. 

They're are also very particular about the kinds of comments they post, this could both be great or a source of frustration... However these days they've relaxed a bit on that and are less uptight about the types of comments they post. I guess at the end of the day, "class" does not move market. LOL. 

Oh well, these are just some thoughts on some of my fav blogs. Which of these blogs do you follow? What do you or don't you like about them? And what other great blogs do you think we should check out?

Simply Bizarre! Kano man steals, forcefully marries 14-yr-old Bayelsagirl.

On August 12, 2015, nothing indicated to Mrs. Rose Oruru, a food vendor in Opolo, Yenagoa Local Government Area of Bayelsa State, that she would soon face an ordeal over her 14-year-old daughter, Ese.
That day, she had gone to the market and left her four children at her shop. She returned to find out that her daughter, Ese, was allegedly abducted by one Yinusa, aka Yellow, who is one of her long standing customers.
Narrating the incident, the distraught mother said, “When I came back, the elder brother of Ese, Kevin, 16, said Ese had left the shop since 11am and had not returned. I enquired where she could have gone, but he said he did not know.
“From there, I started looking for her, asking neighbours if they saw her, but they said they did not. As she usually sold food to northern artisans, I went to the place they usually gathered to find out if they saw Ese. But by the time I got there, they were in the mosque, so, I had to go back.
“After some minutes, I sent my son back to the place and directed that he should tell anybody he saw there that I wanted to see Yinusa. As the boy got there, one of them asked my son to tell me to come. When I got there, he said Yinusa, who is also called Yellow, told them he had sold his commercial tricycle and had gone home to Kano with my daughter, Ese. They told me Yinusa said he was taking Ese home to convert her to Islam to enable him to marry her.”
One Mohammed (aka Daidi) reportedly informed Oruru that Yinusa had taken Ese to Kano with an intention to marry her. She was 13 years old then.
Acting on the information, Oruru approached one Dan Kano, who not only confirmed the story, but also promised to take her to Kano to recover her daughter.
But Dan Kano reneged on his promise and sent one Rabiu to accompany the child’s mother to Kano instead.
On August 14, the anguished mother set for Kano. She and Rabiu arrived at the ancient city after midnight. In the morning, Rabiu took Oruru to the chief of a village in Tufa, Kura Local Government Area of Kano State.
Narrating her anguish amid sobs, Rose said the chief was furious with Rabiu for bringing her to Kano. He told them that Ese had been converted into Islam and renamed ‘Aisha.’ Not only that, the 14-year-old was married and that the child was no longer her daughter.
“He also informed us that Ese was in the custody of the Emir of Kano, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, at the palace,” she stated.
Not cowed by the chief’s position, Oruru, in company with Rabiu, approached the Emir of Kano’s palace but met a stiff opposition by many youths, who pushed them out of the palace.
Oruru said Yinusa (the suspect), through phone calls, informed her that he did not kidnap her daughter as he took permission from one Dan Kano before he abducted her.
You can read the rest of the story – Part 1 sand Part 2 on the Punch website.
The bottom line is that Ese is still forcefully married and those who can help have not done so.
Culled from Bella Naija

Saturday, 27 February 2016

They Shouldn't Have...?

"My prob here is that the Pastor gladly collected d instruments cos it is from flavour, My question is if it was a notorious armed robber will d pastor collect all dis from d person? I just feel d church should have a standard, I was reading d other day dat chidinmas church stopped her from singing in d choir,Y? Am sure it is cos they know u cant put one leg in d world and one leg in d kingdom uve got to choose one side. Now a young child in dat congregation who knows flavour,listen to his songs and also knows his lifestyle will think it is cool to be like dat when he grows up cos his pastor seems cool with it, I also heard dat pastor oyedepo told dbanj not all success is from God during a thanksgiving service, I just feel pastors should start putting pple in there place cos God is no respecter of any person"
-Bella Naija comment. 

I love comments, I love comments more than the actual posts. Comments are often more interesting, entertaining and enlightening. Sometimes you read a post a feel some way, then you read its comments and feel a different type of way. 

Like when I saw the picture above and the headline which announced that Flavour donated musical instruments to his church and I thought Awwww nice, until I read the comments. 

So I guess the issue here is Flavour's lifestyle, especially pertaining to putting two young ladies in the family way without giving them a family, his sexually explicit lyrics, his overt sexuality et al. 

Are churches that do this guilty of something? 


Friday, 26 February 2016

To Sade And Others In Similar Circumstances - The Lady.

When I read Sade’s post Here, I just smiled. I had been in a similar position very recently where I did not care much for my job. It started as a position I wanted, but I always had a nagging feeling of uncertainty about taking the job, but the way the job market is set up ehn. After a while, I realised I was mentally exhausted and going nowhere with the job. At least, not where I wanted to go.
I had to make the painful decision to quit. Without a job in hand. You know the usual advice – ‘find another before you quit’As if I could even get out of the office to attend an interview! I would not advice anyone to take the plunge unless they are at wits ends or have at least 6 months’ salary in savings. I thought I would not spend so much, but the way all sorts of expenses came up ehn, I was amazed and upset. I quit without another job in handbecause I needed to find myself again and I could not do that on the job. Moreover, I had  drawn up a personal development plan to keep myself busy within that period.

If you want to quit your job, it is important to discuss with your immediate family and the people you live with; whether or not you contribute to the upkeep of the house. Some will understand your position; others will not and may go as far as condemning you and ostracizing you. Only you know where the shoe pinches. In the same vein, the less people you share with, the better. Only share on a need to know basis. Friends and family have been a huge source of support in my journey including some who did not understand. To them, it was simply a case of we will support you if this is what you want.

If you choose to take a break before finding another job, keep yourself occupied. An idle mind is the Devil’s workshop. You can complete that professional exam you have been putting off or apply for a higher degree. Read all the novels you have stockpiled. Try your hands at baking, cooking, sewing or anything else that catches your fancy. Renew your relationship with God. You can even decide to contribute to TTB as I did. (Thank you for the push Thelma.) Most importantly, find yourself and the path on which you intend to proceed.

Spend wisely! A word is enough for the wise. Besides, going out with friends every now and again will cause you to explain yourself repeatedly to the extent that you may begin to doubt your decision. With that comes depression. You have to be more deliberate in the choice of people you hang out with during this period. Only hang out with people who will edify you.

When you are ready to return to the job market, be strategic. By now, you should have a defined purpose and a thick skin. The number of applications I sent out without as much as an acknowledgment of receipt (side eye Nigerian organisations... so rude) made me contemplate taking any role, but I remained steadfast in my goal. You did not quit your job to be miserable in another role. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself – allow your desperation make you accept a role you hate from the onset. The truth is getting a job may not come easy even when you are ready. You will need to persevere and be steadfast in your prayers. You need God to keep you sane. Trust me. Be optimistic and joyous for what is to come for this period will pass too. My consolation was that ‘I will sha still get another job in this’s just a matter of when’. 

There is no hard and fast trick to getting a job even with the best qualifications. Divine favour is all I can say. Apply wide and far using all the tools at your disposal. Put your best into your applications and hope for the best. When you eventually get a job, come and testify on TTB as I’m doing and throw in some words of encouragement for others who might need it. This is of course in addition to testifying in Church.

When God shows up, He shows off. One week, I had three interviews - two in one day. I would wake up to invites and smile saying, ‘God, I see you’. Remember my Lenten post Here? Well, Lent is not over and God answered me with five job offers. Now, I’m asking for divine guidance in making my choice.* That’s my God for you.

*I wrote this Tuesday morning in anticipation of a job offer. Something to keep my spirits up.Well, in the evening, I received a call to resume work the following day. I even resumed to a welcome party! What more can I say other than God is faithful!

The lady I'm so happy for you. In fact I'm officially tapping into your testimony! I'm certain great and even greater things are ahead, don't forget to share them with us as they unfold. 

"When God shows up, He shows off"- I love this!

I Wasn't Forced, But I Didn't Consent. Was I Raped?

I’m a 23-year-old working woman who is madly in love with her 27-year-old working man with whom I’ve been with for over three years. 
One day, I went out with my friends and I drunk more alcohol than I was suppose to. Once I came home, I started to get sick and passed out. In the middle of the night, my boyfriend woke me up and told me to clean myself up. Confused, I asked him why. He says because we just had sex. Of course, I had no knowledge of it because I passed out because of the late night drinking. 
The next morning, I asked what happened the night before. He says that he came home, saw me in bed and wanted to have sex. He said I didn’t move or talk but just thought I was really tired. (Even though there was a tall trashcan right beside the bed and apparently my head was halfway in it). Would you consider this a sexual assault? How can I tell him without hurting him, or scaring him to think that I’m labeling him as a “rapist".

An obviously confounded young woman sent the above mail to Steve Harvey. His response has landed him in some soup as he's being put on blast for his "advice". 

Steve's advice:
"This is kinda a tough one for a man to answer because we've all done this. Tried it anyway. All of us. I done actually tried to Army climb from up from under the bed trying to get to it...We've all tried it. It's called the sneak-attack...
Y'all live together. He told you what he did. He woke you up to make sure you got cleaned up. He told you what he did. A person who did something that they think is really wrong is usually in denial about it. Did he rape you in my estimation - NO. Because you all have had [sex]."
    Merriam-Webster defines rape as unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent.   

    I read the mail and Steve Harvey's response last night and I woke up still wondering about it. Was it rape? Was it just sex with a sleeping lover? In her shoes would I feel molested? Would I feel violated? After all they're a sexually active couple, right? So it wasn't wrong, right? But shouldn't he have waited till she was conscious of what was going on? Is Steve Harvey's advice twisted? Or have all men really done or tried to do this with their women, or is her man a rapist? If my lover does this to me, was I raped? Would this scenario be actionable (in court)?

    If I were to be honest with myself, my thinking leans more towards Steve Harvey's reply, but maybe there's a reason people reponded with outrage. Did his advise infuriate you or do you see reason with him? Do tell. 

    Thursday, 25 February 2016

    Does Bae's Love Conquer The In-Laws' Disapproval?

    We've talked severally about marrying someone your family doesn't like or approve of. Right now however I have reason to ask what you would do if you're on the other side, i.e if you're in a great relationship with someone who loves and wants to spend the rest of their life with you, but their family is not on board. Is your partner's love enough, would you go into marriage knowing you're not welcome by your future in-laws?

    When you're faced with this question it usually means that he/she has said "My family may not approve but it's me you're marrying, not them. It's me you're going to live with, not them. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. Let's do this!"  

    This is my dear friend's present situation. (Without going into her specifics), the family may have decided they don't like or approve of you because of your attitude, background, tribe, personality, career choice, etc.  Would you do "this"? Please share your thoughts and your reasons. Thanks. 

    "In Your Face" Religion. Let's Leave Prayers At Church, Or Nah?

    I received a mail from a blog reader this morning and in her words, "Have you seen Charly Boy's article on Julius? I agree 100% with his views about Julius and the religion thing. I've witnessed it". 

    On the one hand, here's Julius whose life was saved from the ugly clutches of death, and on the other hand, here are fans who paid to have a fun night of fun, laughter and comedy, a brief respite from the current unpleasant state of our country perhaps... 

    The comedian who's still high on relief to be among the living can't stop praising his God and grabs every possible opportunity to testify. I've heard him talk about it on radio shows and other places. Obviously he can't thank God enough, so what better place to do it than at his own show, right? 
          Wrong. It turns out that that's not what the people were there for, if they wanted to hear prayers and testimonies they'd have gone to church, abi no be so? Naturally they'd feel ripped off. 

    Charly Boy penned his displeasure to the comedian and this excerpt sums it up; I wasn't sure whether we were at a musical/comedy show or in a pentecostal revival ground... We had trickles of respite when other artistes did their thing but each time Julius came up, it was like he was on a mission to convert us sinners in the hall. He kept preaching, oblivious of many people's disapproval, boredom and disgust for turning a comedy show into a sermonized gospel rant and chant. Kai!
    The fact remains that people came there for the sole purpose of laughter, not to be preached at, after-all, the Christians in the building would have gone to Church earlier that day, being a Sunday. 

    Which calls to mind Nigerians and our in your face religion. Or should I say "Christians" and our in your face religion?

    It's very easy to be unaware, indifferent or unoffended by this as it's the norm and has come to form parts of our daily lives. Yet it's a real factor and very evident in schools and at work places in particular. When this happens in schools, it's more understandable or even acceptable as it forms part of the school regulations. But what happens when you're a fully formed independent adult, capable of making your own choices and decisions? 

    At a former place of work, the minute Oga resumed work everyone was summoned into the office for serious kabashing. Notice I said kabashing, not prayers? God was praised and worshiped, demons and witches were casted out, unscrupulous competitors were prayed into the abyss, detractors and naysayers were quenched with Holy Ghost fire, and then the day's affairs were placed in God's trusted yet gentle hands. 
         It didn't matter that some of us were muslims, some atheists, some traditionalists, some orthodox, some still basking in the afterglow of raunchy morning sex with their boyfriends... No, none of that mattered, once Oga came to work everybody had to pray!

    This is the modus operandi at some work places (sans the paranoid kabashing perhaps). Morning devotions are made mandatory and even where they're not mandatory some feel pressured to join so that nobody looks at them "one kain", or to avoid being sidelined or ostracized, especially if majority of their colleagues are willing participants. 

    Well for some, there's absolutely no harm with carrying and sharing faith/prayer/God everywhere you go, either at work, shows, meetings, parties or what have you. Some ideate that when we remove prayers from social gatherings we're marginalizing God and becoming too westernized (funny as it's the same Westerners that brought us this same religion, but that's topic for another day). Others, Charly boy for example, however feel that there's freedom of religion and association, and prayers or worship should not be imposed on others; it's a personal thing. These people opine that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being religious, others simply shouldn't have to be a part of your "communion" if and when they don't want to. 

    What's your take on this? Would you have felt slighted and shortchanged like Charly Boy and some others who attended the show, or would you have taken it in good faith or even been grateful for another opportunity to praise God? Is there a time and place for everything or should God be brought into everything, what are your views on (mandatory) prayer devotions at the work place?

    Let's talk about "in your face" religion. 

    Photo source:

    Tuesday, 23 February 2016

    Stephanie Linus' DRY Wins Programmers’ Award At The Pan African Film Festival, USA

    Stephanie Linus’ movie ‘DRY’ has again recorded another feat. The movie has won the Programmers’ Award for Narrative Feature at the recently concluded Pan African Film Festival in Los Angeles, USA.

    This award was given alongside other prestigious awards to film makers from across the world whose movies were screened at the largest and most prestigious black film festival in America.

    It would be recalled that DRY has also won a host of local and international awards including the ‘Best Protagonist’ Award at the Bentonville Film Festival in Arkansas, USA. 

    DRY is nominated in 9 categories at the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards 2016 (AMVCA) which comes up this March, and has also won at the BON Awards and Zafaa Global awards in categories such as: Movie with the best social message, Best Cinematography, Best Screenplay, Best Child Actress and Best Producer.

    Produced, directed, and starring Nollywood’s A-List actress, Stephanie Linus, the film is an inspired true story that depicts the life of two young girls living as child brides in West Africa. The critically acclaimed movie focuses on child marriage and Vesico Vaginal Fistula (VVF), journeying into the heart-wrenching details of a culture not too many films dare to explore.

    DRY is currently available on online platforms such as iTunes, Amazon, Google Play, Sony PlayStation and VUDU for viewers throughout the U.S.

    One Night I Got Into Bed and Prayed Against Sex- Ese Walters On Losing Sex Drive After Pregnancy

    Ese Walter of Femina Speaks, famously known for speaking up about her ordeal with popular Nigerian pastor, recently shared some unpleasant experiences she had after childbirth with other new moms. 

    Read her tweets below *descriptions are graphic*

    Thanks Ese Walter for the info. 

    I'm certain Ese shared this to encourage other young mothers who may be experiencing similar challenges, let them know they're not alone. Some found these tweets enlightening, others feel she should have kept these things to herself. 

    Oh well, I'm just here wondering do these things happen to every woman, because somewhere in my mind I don't imagine they can happen to me...

    Monday, 22 February 2016

    Thelma on The TTB Hot Seat.

    1. How tall are you and what do you weigh? 
    6ft and several KGs. 

    2. How many 1 night stands have you had?
    Certainly not more than one if any at all. 

    3. Ever fought physically because of a guy?
    Never have, never will. 

    4. Favorite color?

    5. What do you think of guys that smoke weed occasionally?
    I'm indifferent as long as it's done in moderation and in private. 

    6. Do you smoke weed?
    It's just not my thing, but I used to love magic muffins. 

    7. Clean shave guys or bearded guys?
    Bearded but groomed. 

    8. Chubby guys (Not fat) or muscular with 7packs kinda guy?
    I'm not keen on chubby guys, I don't find overly muscled (7 packs) men appealing either. So someone in between. Think Tu face, Flavour or even Wiz Khalifa (you know what they say about the super skinny ones... *wink*). 

    9. On a scale of 1 - 10 how beautiful do you think you are?

    10. Whats your alcohol tolerance like?
    Bia Kon, first ask "do you drink alcohol?". 

    11. Favorite swallow food - Eba, amala, pounded yam etc?
    Oatmeal (fitfam tinz). 

    12. Have you ever been proposed to?
    Not in the conventional way. 

    13. What gives you the zeal to live? 

    I'm so excited about where I'm headed. Knowing that great things are happening for me everyday and seeing my plans actually materialize keep me excited about life and the future. 

    14. Have you ever lost a guy cos of ur body size
    Never. It's actually the body size that attracts the men who approach me and eventually date me. I've however lost a few guys because I tried to change my body size. 

    15. Have you ever been embarrassed cos of ur body size
    I've never been embarassed because of my body (size), but the times when I let myself go and gained too much weight it affected my self confidence. 

    16. What is your favourite body part on the opposite sex
    Shoulders, if they're broad. 

    17. Whats the nickname your present BF calls you?

    18. What car do you wanna buy next?
    If a genie asked I'd say I want a 2015 Lexus 570. But in real life, I'm presently saving up for a 2013 Honda Accord. 

    19. Ever had sex with a guy you are not proud of?

    20. Ever tried some lesbian acts? *Wink*
    Strictly d*ckly. 

    21. What do you think of fame? 
    If it comes with a very fat bank account then I wouldn't mind so much. Otherwise I personally have no use for fame. However I'm working and praying on my brand (and businesses) being famous. 

    22. Do you consider linda ikeji a role model? 
    I admire her tenacity and doggedness. I'm certain she's someone's role model, just not mine. 

    23. What do u think of adoption? 
    I think adoption is great, certainly something I'd want to do. I'd like to have three kids, two biological, one adopted. 

    24. Have you ever felt you are not where you are supposed to be in life? 

    There are times I've felt that way.

    25. Anal, orgy or threesome?

    1/3. Guess which. 

    26. Have you ever felt love so real? 

    I have. By God I have! And it's the most beautiful feeling ever. 

    27. Have you ever thought of being a celebrity? You have the carriage.
    Thanks but no. I'm both shy and introverted and I detest red carpets like the devil himself!

    28. Would you change the way you are for anyone?
    If its positive change then I would. 

    29. I know you talk of marriage often, do you really see yourself getting married?
    Hopefully. But I certainly see myself having kids though. 

    30. Did your days at Queen's college make or mar you?
    Neither, but I'm glad I went there. 

    31. How long did it take you to come to terms with yourself? I see you as someone who at some point told herself that "mehn this is me, accept and move on". 
    I think every woman gets to this point in her life at some point or the other. For me it was as I approached 30. It was also when I realized that the same thing some people would castigate you for, some others would praise you for. I learnt you can't please everyone, you owe no one anything least of all an explanation for the things you do, and you've got just one life so why live it for others?

    32. Do you foresee yourself practicing law till the very end?

    33. What if you are to date someone in TTb, who would that be?
    All the male TTB readers I would consider are taken. 

    34. In five years time, you should be?
    A mother to one or two cuties, a wife perhaps, running one of the biggest websites on the continent, an employer of labour on a large scale, by then my ______ should be one of the most talked about in town (don't want to share that yet). 

    35. You have a sexy figure, how do you cope with guys?
    It's not that sexy and I even need more guys on my case. Maybe one of them might be the genie that would gift me with that 2015 Lexus I talked about. 

    36. Do you think this blog affects your decisions.. as in do you sometimes embark on adventures or make decisions just cos you feel the outcome - whether good or bad - will be an interesting blog discussion

    I used to do that a lot, but for some reason not anymore. 

    37. Have you ever had the hunger of a cougar/ Have you ever been a cougar? #Grins
    Nope. I have one smallie on my case that keeps telling me age is all in the mind but I can't help thinking biko si ebe a puo! All of the men in my life have been older (save one), so I find myself feeling the need to dumb down myself when relating with a younger guy who's romantically/sexually interested in me. 

    38. Thelma. Seeing that Kon has used up all the questions available to mankind, pls answer me this one "Whatever happened to Clark Kent?"
    He's doing very fine but I'm certainly not Lois Lane. 

    39. What's the end game? Like... we all have dreams and aspirations, where we want to be and what we want to achieve, what's yours? That point you're looking at and saying, if and when I get there, I'm fulfilled. What's that point for you?
    Does #34 answer this question? 

    40. What's the one thing you cannot tolerate in a relationship?(your deal breaker)
    Abuse in any form AND stinginess. 

    41. What's your relationship with God like?
    It could be much better. 

    42. A lot of ladies have high standards for the kind of men they want to be with especially in their teens and early 20s, have yours changed over the years? Have you had to cross some things of that "list" cos you realised they were irrelevant or...anything?
    Yes. I didn't deliberately cross any off the list, but one day I realized that they just weren't there anymore. One day I found myself enjoying a great relationship and loving a man I wouldn't have given the time of day two years ago. The older one gets, the less important certain things become. 

    43. How good a cook are you on a scale of 1 to frigging awesome!
    Food Network is my all time absolute favourite TV channel. Which is ironic considering I'm almost indifferent about cooking, which surprises people because when I cook, I COOK! But that's not often so I can't rate myself...

    44. What exactly do you do for a living... We already know you're a lawyer, so this is asking for a detailed description of stuff you handle.(this question is cos i know many lawyers and they dont travel half a much as you do...*covers face*
    I work for myself and that entails making lucrative deals or good investments when the opportunity arises. As for legal stuff I handle, I haven't done any litigation in a while so it's mainly properties, contracts, corporate stuff and the likes. Among other things, I'm currently looking to be an executive assistant to a very active/busy/accomplished/visionary political or corporate personality. So if you know anyone who needs one, in any part of the country, I'm your girl!

    45. I know you love perfumes, what's the highest you've spent on a perfume?
    Latest perfume which is about a week old costs about N80,000 but with this present exchange rate it would probably cost about 130,000 or more. It's an Amuoage and an absolute show stopper! But no I didn't buy it myself, it was a gift. So to answer your question the highest I've spent on a perfume is about 25,000. 

    46. Truthfully name 3 blog readers you dislike 
    Anonymous. Anonymous. Anonymous. The dislikable ones are always anonymous. 

    47. If there's one thing you could change about the blog what would it be?
    I certainly wish I had more contributors providing content spanning across different topics from politics to religion to love to career to money to sex to inspiration to marriage to travel and then some. I also miss some old readers and commenters.

    48If there's one thing you could change about yourself 
    I'd love to love food less. I wish I'm one of those people who hate food and only eat in order to survive. 

    49. If there's one thing you could change about the world. 
    I wish people would be kinder and love more. All you need to do is go on the comment section of some posts, especially foreign websites, you'd see we're a bunch of savages!

    50. You're my absolute favourite blogger Tee! #Hugs and #Kisses 
    LOL it's not a question but it came with the questions and it made me feel so good! Thanks so much!!! *cant stop blushing*. 

    There you have it, I hope I answered your questions to your satisfaction. 

    I couldn't post all the questions, they were too many and I don't want to bore you. 

    Steele is next on the TTB hot seat so please leave all your questions for him in the comment section. 

    Please what female blog reader would you love to see on the hot seat?

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