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Showing posts from February, 2016

My Job OR My Man?

If I didn't know better I'd have thought a blog reader sent this to @joroolumofin
She opened up to me about a challenge she's presently facing and it's so similar to the mail above, except in her case he wants her to take a lower paying and much less challenging (in his opinion) job, and in another career field, as he thinks the present one would leave no room to nurture a new marriage. 
For someone who's worked so hard to get ahead in her career it's the most difficult decision she's ever had to make; choosing to step down several rungs on the ladder and receive less than half the pay she's earning now, plus forego all the allowances and bonuses. This might also mean that she might lose the lifestyle she's now become accustomed to; travel, high quality clothes and even her parents' upkeep. She loves Bae and wants to be his wife (they're engaged at the moment) but it's not an easy move to make. 
Take these two ladies' situations into …

Some Thoughts On Bella Naija, SDK and LIB.

Social media has become the fastest way to keep abreast with news, goings-on, gossip and other people's lives. There are probably over a thousand Nigerian blogs, however among these Linda Ikeji's blog, Bella Naija and Stella Dimoko Korkus' blog are the most popular mainstream blogs at the moment, to the best of my knowledge. 
At different points in time I've been an avid follower of each blog. I've intermittently fallen in and out of love with them, and sometimes back again. Three different comments (by different commenters) as seen on Bella Naija pretty much sums up the reasons why. 

Linda Ikeji's Blog.Lmao. LIB that is copy and paste of everyone’s Instagram page and African correspondent for Kylie Jenners social media handles?? LIB that will have 50 comments on a topic and when you click on comments to read, all you see is : ‘seen’ ‘okay’ ‘well noted’ ‘Linda you must enjoy me’ ‘Yes, correct', all from people hungrily awaiting her blog giveaways?? Seriously?…

Simply Bizarre! Kano man steals, forcefully marries 14-yr-old Bayelsagirl.

On August 12, 2015, nothing indicated to Mrs. Rose Oruru, a food vendor in Opolo, Yenagoa Local Government Area of Bayelsa State, that she would soon face an ordeal over her 14-year-old daughter, Ese. That day, she had gone to the market and left her four children at her shop. She returned to find out that her daughter, Ese, was allegedly abducted by one Yinusa, aka Yellow, who is one of her long standing customers. Narrating the incident, the distraught mother said, “When I came back, the elder brother of Ese, Kevin, 16, said Ese had left the shop since 11am and had not returned. I enquired where she could have gone, but he said he did not know. “From there, I started looking for her, asking neighbours if they saw her, but they said they did not. As she usually sold food to northern artisans, I went to the place they usually gathered to find out if they saw Ese. But by the time I got there, they were in the mosque, so, I had to go back. “After some minutes, I sent my son back to the plac…

They Shouldn't Have...?

"My prob here is that the Pastor gladly collected d instruments cos it is from flavour, My question is if it was a notorious armed robber will d pastor collect all dis from d person? I just feel d church should have a standard, I was reading d other day dat chidinmas church stopped her from singing in d choir,Y? Am sure it is cos they know u cant put one leg in d world and one leg in d kingdom uve got to choose one side. Now a young child in dat congregation who knows flavour,listen to his songs and also knows his lifestyle will think it is cool to be like dat when he grows up cos his pastor seems cool with it, I also heard dat pastor oyedepo told dbanj not all success is from God during a thanksgiving service, I just feel pastors should start putting pple in there place cos God is no respecter of any person"
-Bella Naija comment. 

I love comments, I love comments more than the actual posts. Comments are often more interesting, entertaining and enlightening. Sometimes you read…

To Sade And Others In Similar Circumstances - The Lady.

When I read Sade’s post Here, I just smiled. I had been in a similar position very recently where I did not care much for my job. It started as a position I wanted, but I always had a nagging feeling of uncertainty about taking the job, but the way the job market is set up ehn. After a while, I realised I was mentally exhausted and going nowhere with the job. At least, not where I wanted to go. I had to make thepainful decision to quit. Without a job in hand. You know the usual advice – ‘find another before you quit’. As if I could even get out of the office to attend an interview! I would not advice anyone to take the plunge unless they are at wits ends or have at least 6 months’ salary in savings. I thought I would not spend so much, but the way all sorts of expenses came up ehn, I was amazed and upset. I quit without another job in handbecause I needed to find myself again and I could not do that on the job. Moreover, I had  drawn up a personal development plan to keep myself busy w…

I Wasn't Forced, But I Didn't Consent. Was I Raped?

I’m a 23-year-old working woman who is madly in love with her 27-year-old working man with whom I’ve been with for over three years. 
One day, I went out with my friends and I drunk more alcohol than I was suppose to. Once I came home, I started to get sick and passed out. In the middle of the night, my boyfriend woke me up and told me to clean myself up. Confused, I asked him why. He says because we just had sex. Of course, I had no knowledge of it because I passed out because of the late night drinking. 
The next morning, I asked what happened the night before. He says that he came home, saw me in bed and wanted to have sex. He said I didn’t move or talk but just thought I was really tired. (Even though there was a tall trashcan right beside the bed and apparently my head was halfway in it). Would you consider this a sexual assault? How can I tell him without hurting him, or scaring him to think that I’m labeling him as a “rapist".

An obviously confounded young woman sent the abov…

Does Bae's Love Conquer The In-Laws' Disapproval?

We've talked severally about marrying someone your family doesn't like or approve of. Right now however I have reason to ask what you would do if you're on the other side, i.e if you're in a great relationship with someone who loves and wants to spend the rest of their life with you, but their family is not on board. Is your partner's love enough, would you go into marriage knowing you're not welcome by your future in-laws?
When you're faced with this question it usually means that he/she has said "My family may not approve but it's me you're marrying, not them. It's me you're going to live with, not them. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. Let's do this!"  
This is my dear friend's present situation. (Without going into her specifics), the family may have decided they don't like or approve of you because of your attitude, background, tribe, personality, career choice, etc.  Would you do "this"? Pl…

"In Your Face" Religion. Let's Leave Prayers At Church, Or Nah?

I received a mail from a blog reader this morning and in her words, "Have you seen Charly Boy's article on Julius? I agree 100% with his views about Julius and the religion thing. I've witnessed it". 
On the one hand, here's Julius whose life was saved from the ugly clutches of death, and on the other hand, here are fans who paid to have a fun night of fun, laughter and comedy, a brief respite from the current unpleasant state of our country perhaps... 
The comedian who's still high on relief to be among the living can't stop praising his God and grabs every possible opportunity to testify. I've heard him talk about it on radio shows and other places. Obviously he can't thank God enough, so what better place to do it than at his own show, right?        Wrong. It turns out that that's not what the people were there for, if they wanted to hear prayers and testimonies they'd have gone to church, abi no be so? Naturally they'd feel ripped off…

Stephanie Linus' DRY Wins Programmers’ Award At The Pan African Film Festival, USA

Stephanie Linus’ movie ‘DRY’ has again recorded another feat. The movie has won the Programmers’ Award for Narrative Feature at the recently concluded Pan African Film Festival in Los Angeles, USA.
This award was given alongside other prestigious awards to film makers from across the world whose movies were screened at the largest and most prestigious black film festival in America.
It would be recalled that DRY has also won a host of local and international awards including the ‘Best Protagonist’ Award at the Bentonville Film Festival in Arkansas, USA. 
DRY is nominated in 9 categories at the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards 2016 (AMVCA) which comes up this March, and has also won at the BON Awards and Zafaa Global awards in categories such as: Movie with the best social message, Best Cinematography, Best Screenplay, Best Child Actress and Best Producer.
Produced, directed, and starring Nollywood’s A-List actress, Stephanie Linus, the film is an inspired true story that depicts the lif…

One Night I Got Into Bed and Prayed Against Sex- Ese Walters On Losing Sex Drive After Pregnancy

Ese Walter of Femina Speaks, famously known for speaking up about her ordeal with popular Nigerian pastor, recently shared some unpleasant experiences she had after childbirth with other new moms. Read her tweets below *descriptions are graphic*

Thanks Ese Walter for the info. 
I'm certain Ese shared this to encourage other young mothers who may be experiencing similar challenges, let them know they're not alone. Some found these tweets enlightening, others feel she should have kept these things to herself. 
Oh well, I'm just here wondering do these things happen to every woman, because somewhere in my mind I don't imagine they can happen to me...

Thelma on The TTB Hot Seat.

1. How tall are you and what do you weigh?  6ft and several KGs. 
2. How many 1 night stands have you had? Certainly not more than one if any at all. 
3. Ever fought physically because of a guy? Never have, never will. 
4. Favorite color? Purple
5. What do you think of guys that smoke weed occasionally? I'm indifferent as long as it's done in moderation and in private. 
6. Do you smoke weed? It's just not my thing, but I used to love magic muffins. 
7. Clean shave guys or bearded guys? Bearded but groomed. 
8. Chubby guys (Not fat) or muscular with 7packs kinda guy? I'm not keen on chubby guys, I don't find overly muscled (7 packs) men appealing either. So someone in between. Think Tu face, Flavour or even Wiz Khalifa (you know what they say about the super skinny ones... *wink*). 
9. On a scale of 1 - 10 how beautiful do you think you are? 12. 
10. Whats your alcohol tolerance like? Bia Kon, first ask "do you drink alcohol?". 
11. Favorite swallow food - Eba, amala, pounded…