I am 28yrs old will be 29 in April and i am single and not even dating as in no prospective boyfriend sef. All my former toasters and crushes are getting married. my exs are married too with kids and i am always happy for them because i tell myself i deserve better and God has got a bigger and better plan for me
what i dont understand now is why this recent engagement is making me soooo sad. I've been trying not to cry but i broke down this morning, at work for that matter.... I am happy for them but i still feel i lost a great man just because i dont want to marry a muslim... he got a great babe too, a wonderful person dat i can even allow my brother marry...
My confusion is this; if i am sooo happy for dem, why am i so sad? i am so happy for him that i prayed to God to bless them and make them fruitful...
I guess i am sad cos i lost a great man.... he chased me for 4yrs and i never bulged... did i except him to keep waiting for me or something? As in like seriously! life waits for no one... he has to move forward...
Lord i pray for all we single ladies, that you will pls bring us that man dat will complete us and make us smile at the end, that it was definitely worth the wait!!!
-blog comment from the Jumoke Orisaguna post.
Dear poster, it's possible to wish someone well and still feel sad that they're moving on with someone else. Painful as it is, he's not for you. Not because there's anything wrong with you marrying a muslim but because it's obviously not what you want. Him moving on is not the reason you're feeling low even to the point of breaking down at the office. It's because you're lonely and have no one to call your own at the moment.
Just know that you're not alone, there are millions of others in your shoes right now, praying to God to be a boo-provider.
All you need do is glance through some relationship posts on blogs or Bella Naija wedding posts and see how trillions of people are single and seriously searching.
What I want to know from us single women is how you try to change your single situation. Are you Miss wait, hope n' pray to be found or Miss Single and actively searching?
The former, Miss wait hope n pray believes that since the Bible says "he who finds a wife...", it's ungodly and unnatural for her to do much besides pray and work on herself while waiting to attract and be approached by the right man. Mind you, she doesn't just wait, she works on herself; makes herself more approachable, perhaps more appealing to men among other subtleties.
Miss single and actively searching is proactive in finding or being found by her man. Not sure if you've been proactive? Well what have you tried; Going out more? Approaching suitable men? Becoming more active (and visible) in church? Online dating? Snatching? Attempting to 'trap' with pregnancy? Using money to buy love or affection? Asking your friends to hook you up with eligible bachelors? Bathing with cele water? *joking* (Yeah I know some of these are unsavory but let's be honest, some of us don't play nice, so...). LOL Apparently there are varying degrees of being proactive, from subtle and classy to nearly desperate.
Let's talk about it. In these times where marriageable men seem to be scarce, should ladies be proactive in finding the one, or wait in hope to be found?