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Single Situation; To Find or Be Found?

I am 28yrs old will be 29 in April and i am single and not even dating as in no prospective boyfriend sef. All my former toasters and crushes are getting married. my exs are married too with kids and i am always happy for them because i tell myself i deserve better and God has got a bigger and better plan for me 

what i dont understand now is why this recent engagement is making me soooo sad. I've been trying not to cry but i broke down this morning, at work for that matter.... I am happy for them but i still feel i lost a great man just because i dont want to marry a muslim... he got a great babe too, a wonderful person dat i can even allow my brother marry...

My confusion is this; if i am sooo happy for dem, why am i so sad? i am so happy for him that i prayed to God to bless them and make them fruitful...

I guess i am sad cos i lost a great man.... he chased me for 4yrs and i never bulged... did i except him to keep waiting for me or something? As in like seriously! life waits for no one... he has to move forward...

Lord i pray for all we single ladies, that you will pls bring us that man dat will complete us and make us smile at the end, that it was definitely worth the wait!!!

-blog comment from the Jumoke Orisaguna post. 

Dear poster, it's possible to wish someone well and still feel sad that they're moving on with someone else. Painful as it is, he's not for you. Not because there's anything wrong with you marrying a muslim but because it's obviously not what you want. Him moving on is not the reason you're feeling low even to the point of breaking down at the office. It's because you're lonely and have no one to call your own at the moment. 

Just know that you're not alone, there are millions of others in your shoes right now, praying to God to be a boo-provider. 

All you need do is glance through some relationship posts on blogs or Bella Naija wedding posts and see how trillions of people are single and seriously searching. 

What I want to know from us single women is how you try to change your single situation. Are you Miss wait, hope n' pray to be found or Miss Single and actively searching?

The former, Miss wait hope n pray believes that since the Bible says "he who finds a wife...", it's ungodly and unnatural for her to do much besides pray and work on herself while waiting to attract and be approached by the right man. Mind you, she doesn't just wait, she works on herself; makes herself more approachable, perhaps more appealing to men among other subtleties. 

Miss single and actively searching is proactive in finding or being found by her man. Not sure if you've  been proactive? Well what have you tried; Going out more? Approaching suitable men? Becoming more active (and visible) in church? Online dating? Snatching? Attempting to 'trap' with pregnancy? Using money to buy love or affection? Asking your friends to hook you up with eligible bachelors? Bathing with cele water? *joking* (Yeah I know some of these are unsavory but let's be honest, some of us don't play nice, so...). LOL Apparently there are varying degrees of being proactive, from subtle and classy to nearly desperate. 

Let's talk about it. In these times where marriageable men seem to be scarce, should ladies be proactive in finding the one, or wait in hope to be found?


  1. yup... work on yourself and attend normal functions..weddings, church programs, office outings, etc. Go when you can and basically, just have fun. A lot of single people are too serious and absolutely miserable in their singleness. Don't be too uptight, go out. I'm not saying attend every function by force, I'm saying as often as you're available, attend functions not with the intent to "seize the bae" but with the intent to have fun and learn(from the work/church outings).

    To the poster, like Thelma said, its possible to be genuinely happy for someone and be sad about the situation but as hard as it may be, don't be worried. Just keep praying and meeting people. It will happen for you. You can also try looking inward, there's probably a guy in the "friend zone" who is just waiting for you to notice him.

    1. Sunshine, pls where is Kabuoy my baby? Tell her I miss her.

    2. :) she's on a social media She's good tho. She misses you too, I'll let her know you miss her.

  2. He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord. Prov18:22.

  3. Your bae will come. In time. Please enjoy your life now and hope for the best.

    You stuck to your belief. Inter religious marriage doesnt work for everyone. Why sabotage your future and that of your children (based on yor belief) . If your being a christian is that important to you to give up on loving a man you see as great, then be rest assured that God will cive you that which your heart desires.

    That you are 29 doesnt mean all is lost.

  4. I advice single women to search actively. Make themselves more visible. If you see a guy you like then ask him out on a date and after the date follow up...

    In doing these things. Make sure you never rub yourself or name in dirt. Do them with pride and grace.


  5. It's never too late, there's still hope for you, I strongly believe that you will celebrate your 30th birthday in your husband's house, that said since you want it soo bad and soo fast you need to work it out, by serious personal prayers and fasting seek God's face sincerely and open up to Him and he will answer,make conscious efforts to look good and go to the right places, change your church if you need to, go to the right functions and don't let any depression show on your face. God has done it before and your case 'll not be an exception


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