A blog reader reached out to me sounding very distraught, and after listening to her I could understand why.
At first I didn't appreciate the depth of the issue, probably because I've never been in those shoes. Eventually when I heard her out and really heard the hurt and confusion in her voice then I knew how painful it must be.
Sade is a lawyer who feels very privileged to work at one of the top law firms on the Island. She loves her job, she's fine with the pay and she's getting world class experience. However, Sade needs to be at the office by 7.30am every morning and although the official close of work is 6pm, she says she has never left the office before 9pm. On most days work closes between 10-11pm, sometimes even later. As if this even bad enough, she works on Saturdays too, at least three Saturdays in a month. On these Saturdays she resumes work between 9-10am and closes at about 7pm. On a few sundays she needs to work too.
For the first year or two, this was fine. Sade actually didn't mind losing her social life, she didn't even mind losing her friends so much, she accepted these losses as sacrifices she must make for her career. However now, as she's romancing 30 it's getting rather worrisome. No, it's not necessarily because of loneliness. She said she's lived with so much loneliness that she's now mastered the art of numbing that feeling. This is beyond loneliness. Sade, like most other women her age and even much younger would like to have a relationship, and more so, get married. Her parents aren't helping matters either; the pressure gets worse each month.
At some point she said to me; on the few occasions you get to meet a guy, maybe someone hooks you up, or on social media (because when you're that busy the chances of you meeting a guy on your own or in the traditional ways are almost zero to none), and he sets a date and then because of work you cancel one, two, three, four times. Omo mehn, the guy would just 'jabo' you, when it's not like you're the only girl in Lagos. There are plenty single girls, some even better than you sef that can give them all the time. So they will ask themselves why they have to put up with your sh*t.
Sade would like to know if there are other people in her situation, or who have been in her situation. She wants to know how they cope(d). She would also appreciate any advise she can get.
My friend Onyi was in the exact situation when she worked at one of the top auditing companies in the country which most of us are familiar with. In fact, she lost so many friends, yours truly included. Back then I'd be like abeg nobody is that busy! Until I met a few other people who work there and they said its even worse than I think! Just like Sade, Onyi had no life outside work, and of course having a bae was mere imagination.
How she remedied it? She quit.
When my friend felt she had gotten more than adequate experience, she began to look for another job. While still working there she began to job-hunt and searched until she found one that payed well, but more importantly allowed her to have a LIFE and afforded her time to win her precious friends back (lol), have baessssss, have an active social life, become a church worker, and join the Lagos social scene. And she lives happily ever after... Hehe.
Ever been in this situation before, or there now? Please share your experiences with us, and how you handle(d) it. Anyone got advise for Sade and others in her shoes? Share!