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Dear Thelma (I Really Love Him, But Should I Let Him Go?)





I have dated  just one guy which started from freshman year (at 18 years old ) till we graduated college.he is my first love, first sex et al..I broke up with him because of distance after school and he wasn't emotionally available and could never express himself to me. We are both age mates, after 4 years of dating and broke up for a year, we got back together as he showed me he was ready emotionally which has been great as he is a complete person in that aspect.  
Now we are both 24 years old,he is job hunting and I am in grad school. We have been having lots of issues lately which stems from us being age mates and dating and also long distance now (will have to fly for 6 hours to meet). He has told me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but at the same time he does not want to waste my time and make me wait while he gets himself together. I do love this man, I am comfortable with him, he is my best friend, confidante, lover, its just peaceful with when I'm with him ..you get the gist  but is love ever enough? 
      I sometimes feel i am missing out on  many things but I am too scared to let go of him. I did previously, it was really tough but i did not die,I healed until he came back again. I also think I would love to be with someone older (they say with age comes wisdom, experience and initiative) which i think he lacks but I don't blame him as he's still 24. I think we are at a place where we are trying to figure out ourselves, is it time to finally let go and never turn back ? will this be a very big mistake on my part ? i fear I may never find anyone close to him who accepts my flaws and just be myself.
     My mom has told me to let him go, his folks has also told him not to be too invested in someone at this age as he needs to find his feet and settle himself which i think every parent would say, I know I wouldn't want my son talking about marriage at 24 when you have no job/ bearing in life.. 

Comments

  1. Long distance relationships are hard. I know all about it. But...if you love this guy then put all your effort into making this thing work.

    The feedback for both your parents should be used to fuel the energy in the relationship.

    Forget about marriage. Marriage talk and pressure complicates things. 2 of you have decided to be with each other right, since you have found each other, chill out on the marriage talk. Just focus on making the relationship work, and getting back close to each other as soon as possible.

    It might work, it might not work. Its life. Its love. There are no guarantees.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's life it's love.There are no guarantees. Thank You Kon

    You just have to try

    ReplyDelete
  3. At 24 if you feel you are missing out then explore that,if not enjoy your relationship and see where it leads.

    Please don't become that 30 years old woman that wants to start exploring at 30. If you feel like putting yourself out there this is the time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel your confusion, cos I’ve been on your shoes before. My take is if you feel he is the one then stick with him and work it out but then if you’re not so sure then take a break and explore.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What exactly do you think you're missing out on? Is he restricting you in any way? or stopping you from taking major steps or decisions? If not, then maybe you should, like Kon said, try making the relationship work without the marriage pressure. Just take it one day at a time determining to make it work each day.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 'Love' isn't always enough that's why I think you both should just sit down and have 'the talk' - your fears, concerns, future plans, possible compromise, life dreams etc. Then take out some time to decide your next move.

    On one hand, I think going through the tough times with a guy that truly loves you has a way of strengthening the bond of the union. Also, you need to ask yourself what you think you really are missing? Truth is that in more ways than one, what we all are searching for is love - to love and be loved. To your other questions, those are questions that you can only answer for yourself. With relationships and emotions, nothing is ever certain. You make your choice and live with it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hes the man of your youth. Stick with him. If he is not ready financially and what not, build with him. One thing I can say for sure; you would not regret sticking with him.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yaaay

    Sunshine is back,hugs dear.

    Now where is Kabuoy?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you guys. We would definitely have the talk .

    ReplyDelete

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