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Dear Thelma... (It's All Kinda Complicated...)

Hi Thelma,am an ardent reader of your blog though I do not comment...I need your advice as well as others  on this...

Ok am a really reserved kind of a girl though sometimes I kind of put the blame on my parents because growing up  they never let us associate with other people... we never really went out and even if we do we had our 6pm curfew to beat... this their attitude kept up till now that I am 24... Though I had relationships in the past that went on when I was in school(I'm single now)...
I finally met a guy recently through a cousin we started chatting and sometimes he calls me on phone. we've never met because we stay in different locations. we ended up getting fond of each other and I realised he had a different character and behavior as compared to other Igbo guys I know (yh am Igbo).. Btw my mum has been ringing it to us that it has to be Igbo and not only that she also says it has to be from our own church denomination (sometimes I wonder why parents are like this).. Coincidentally this guy fits in these categories.. My mum heard about i and the guy from my younger sis and called me to advise me that it's not a bad idea, because I told her my problem was his location (based in one of d eastern states).. She kept telling me everyday that a woman doesn't have a root that it all depends on where her husband stays that determines her root.. Well I finally met the guy in person and yeah I like him and he told me his intentions that he likes me and any relationship he goes into right now, he is expecting it to lead to marriage...
The issue now is that my mum all of a sudden changed mouth saying I should take things easy that I would still meet other guys, (I'm not working at the moment so the curfew still stands for, me so i wonder how I am going to meet such guys). She also said that people are marrying out and going out of the country and me I want to go to the east... I finally realized my mum had a conversation about I and the guy with my elder sis who is not married yet, and my sister told my mum that she's not in support of me having a relationship with the guy because my aunt and the guy's mum are friends and if eventually I have a relationship with him that ends up into marriage, his mum would be telling my aunt things about us before my mum knows..
Right now am outside the country and the guy also travelled out but in a different country and he has booked a ticket to come see me where I am on Easter Monday before leaving for Nigeria and I told him when we meet here I would give him a reply, but right now I am in a confused state... Don't want to go into a relationship that my nuclear family would not accept. I am also thinking what if the guy is actually the one for me and I just let him go like that.
BTW I am AS and this guy is AA so u can imagine how I feel...

Exactly poster, what if the guy is the one for you and you lose him because of mere trivialities like what your NUCLEAR family thinks, and his mum being friends with your aunt...


  1. You do not comment but you want people to comment against your issue.
    Clap for yourself.
    I have nothing to say.

  2. Please, it is 'i am or i'm' not 'am'..

    if the reason you gave above(his mum and your aunt being friends) is why you're confused then,you are not a serious human being

  3. You mum is a typical Nigerian woman,lol.
    Well, since your elder sis working on your mother negatively telling her reasons the relationship won't work, you work on her positively, let her see reasons why the relationship will work.
    But for real sha,it's your relationship not your family's. You obviously like the dude, go with the flow, am sure your mum will come around

  4. "BTW I am AS and this guy is AA so u can imagine how I feel..."
    Lmao! As serious as it is, the way u put it just made it hysterical.

    On a serious note, I don't see anything wrong here. Go and enjoy your relationship oh and don't get stuck up in mum and elder sis' paranoia.

  5. Your sister is just jealous because you want to marry before her. There's nothing wrong with his mum being friends with your aunt, that's just an excuse your sister brought up to stop the wedding. She'll always have one excuse concerning any guy you want to marry until she marries before you. You better go ahead and marry this guy if you love him.

  6. Oh puleezz!! Get on wt d guy mbok, ion c any reason y u shouldn't. Elder sis and mom wud ve no choice wen eventually u get serious wt d guy since he checked all d boxes dat mom laid down.
    Pls give ds guy a trial and move wt d flow. All da best


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