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Dear Thelma. (My Fiancé Wants a 3some!)

Hello T, it's ok if you don't feel comfortable posting my mail but i will appreciate it if you do. My boyfriend and soon to be husband has been asking for a request for sometime and being honest with myself I actually want to do it, because he has been so good to me. He was like the answer to all the prayers in my life when everything was just very depressing and nothing good was happening for me. My ex just disappeared from my life because according to him I did not have a job and he needed to marry somebody that can bring something to the table. Thelma I was jobless, broke, single and very depressed when I met this man. He did not only get me the job where I am working now but even helped my twin sister to get a job too. Last year he took me to europe and us, the very first time I'm leaving this country and this year he is planning vacations for us abroad again and for our honeymoon, please don't look at it as if I love him only for money because it is not true, it's just that I never believe that somebody can love me to this extent. Even when his aging month was saying that she doesn't want Himto marry somebody from my place he stood his grounds and said that it is either me or nobody else, he made sure that his family accepted me against the person they wanted because he is the first son.
 I cannot begin to tell you all the things this man has done for me but he has truly changed my life and even my family. Thelma I even now drive a car o! In almost two years of dating I have never caught him cheating on me and I just have so much peace with him. The only issue now is that he's been saying he will like us to do something fun to spice up our sex life. We really enjoy good sex together but he said for more flavour that can we have a threesome? At first I thought he was joking but he has asked several times again, although not forcefully or putting me under pressure. He says he just thinks we will enjoy it and even strengthen our bond. Personally I have nothing against it really so it is not like I am under duress but I'm afraid that it will change our relationship or bring about something negative that might affect us. We are planning our wedding for november-december and I don't want anything to come and scatter our plans. Please I need advise from your mature reader because I want to be guided. Thank you.


  1. You do know that your boo is about to open the door to who he really is. If you walk through, there's no turning back. More bizarre requests would follow and because you feel so grateful cos he's your Jesus in this earth, you will want to humour him and give in till maybe he requests your twin joins in or... Ok I'll stop now before I get carried away. All I'm trying to say is, it won't be a one time thing and he'll keep asking for more especially after you sign the dotted lined. Be guided.

    1. You are so right.

    2. Putting it in the dance context then, we can say step one step two is the foundation to becoming Michael Jackson or kaffy if you prefer. Then again.... Maybe not! Be guided and prepared to bear the consequences of whatever you decide, though I'd give Lohla's comment much more than a passing thought (If I were you).

    3. That's not true. I had a threesome with my fiance when we got engaged newly. We're married now and he hasn't come up with any bizarre request, we haven't had another 3some since then and his respect for me hasn't diminished in any way. So poster, maybe you should give it a try, maybe it's just something he wants to try out.

    4. i agree with lohla. jenny what works for you might not work for the poster

  2. Kon,
    Please respond from the man's point of view. Thanks.

    Dear lady,

    If you want to do it, go ahead. But know it will not be a one off thing. It will continue. Read up on the pitfalls of such adventures first. Ask questions on use of protection, sex acts and what is forbidden. Who will get the third party? Will she be a stranger or someone you know? Will there be a non disclosure agreement?

    All these and more should come into play. By the way, what if he wants your twin sister? Think about it.


  3. Lol! You have no problems with it, then why bring it here.
    People should learn to keep their issues to themselves. You have brought it here and everybody who can type will have a say.

    I did it with my fiancee (now wife) because we were curious. I brought up, she was intrigued we decided to try it but there were rules. It should not be anybody we know or are friendly with and it should not be someone who stays in our vicinity and it must not be done in my apartment. I used to visit a popular strip joint in Ikeja, so one day, i decided to take her there and ask her to choose who we should ask.

    Bottom line, we did it. It was nothing too spectacular and it cured both our curiosity. We are happily married now and I do not have that kind of urge again and i believe neither does my wife.

    IF you feel comfortable with it go ahead (if you trust your husband not to get carried away).

    My two cents, threesomes are overrated.

    1. Baba. When you get home. Help me shake your wife's hand.

    2. Rhetorical Q: Em, did u do it with the other chick or was she just there for props?

    3. thats a good question.. did you have sex with the other girl ?

    4. Left to me I don't think there's anything all have fantasyzzzzz..if you can handle the aftermath fine if not don't do it...btw if you n your partner understand yourselves n are both freaky go ahead..because let's face it alot of people especially guys fantasise about it...Nne you don't have a problem...

    5. i'm curious to see the reply to sasha's question

  4. Lol, amma look at this post independently of what he's done for u. My dear, u knw a 3some is just "licence to cheat with ur partner being present",yh? So once a 3some, always gonna be more 3somes (later in the marriage). Don't start what u can't continue (esp when it relates to sex). You cld promise him one tho but don't say when (prolly when ur both wrinkled as an anniversary something)
    Hope my comment is mature enough..

    Lemme ask, wld it be a guy or a girl in the 3some?

    1. But is it really "cheating" if your partner is present, consenting and fully aware?

    2. It's not cheating, you're both having fun. But poster don't do it if you're not comfortable with it.

  5. He says he just thinks we will enjoy it and even strengthen our bond. Personally I have nothing against it really so it is not like I am under duress****** smh.. Imagine your life. Why asking questions when you already have an answer.

  6. Me I just think threesomes are shady sha. Anyways, question for you- are you interested because you really love him and can do anything for him or because you might also be interested? I don't even know what to say... Let no boyfriend of mine go all threesomes on me o... I can't even deal

  7. Don't do it. Gently talk him out of it. And you sound like you want to do it because of his goodness to you.

  8. *Dear girl, it seems u wanna do it, and since u are not under pressure, i feel like u should give it a deep thought. will it be worth it at the end. In my opinion, u shouldn't since the relationship will likely lead to marriage. (No use ur own hand pour sand for ur garri o!)...Jane #myfirsttimecommenting#

    1. Hello Jane, please keep the comments coming.

  9. - Threesome is a level of sexual perversion.
    - Is your sexual perversion as high as his? Because after threesome it will be maybe group sex, or he wants to watch you being gang banged by men, or animal sex, or hard core sex. Have you guys done anal sex? If you wont be able to handle all the sexual perversion then dont even start it.
    - If he cheats on you what will be your reaction? Because basically he is asking for approval to straff somebody else. If you dont give him the threesome he will have sex with somebody else to kill the urge. So the question is - Would you rather be there while he cheats OR you dont wanna know about his cheating.
    - My advice would be to turn down his offer gently. Thats my advice. Im the kinda guy that cant do freaky shit with my wife because I look at her like a queen that should not be stained but I didnt mind doing freaky stuff with all the girls before her. Im saying he might even appreciate you more if you stand your moral grounds. Its a risk tho.
    - As a trick, tell him the 3rd party in the 3some should be a huge, sweaty, hairy muscular guy. Lets know his reaction.


    1. ugh!! why do guys think this way ?? you don't want to do freaky things with your "queen" but you rather do it with someone else ?? my bf has said that too.. I wanted to spice things up.. whipcream and give him a bj he stopped me and said he doesn't really like this because he sees me as his future wife and this seems too nasty and does not want to see me this way ??... (he never asks me to give him a bj.. I'm the one who offers)..I would love my partner to be freaky with me...lets explore our bodies together don't see me as a queen or whatever that should not be grabbed or rough handled (just a lil bit) lol..

      as for you madam.. if you are open to threesomes..I'm with the guy who did it with his wife...but thread lightly

    2. Kon I really don't agree that it would lead to more freaky stuff. And what's with you men and not wanting to "taint" your wives then going outside to do the more exciting things with sidechics? Do you really think you're doing your wives a favour?

    3. On the contrary, I do freaky things with my husband (not 3some tho) n I'm sure a lot of other married couples do.. it all depends on the individual in this case, as dats part of d reasons I married my husband. So girl maybe u should try other freaky stuff with him, it doesn't have to be a 3 some, but girrrrl make dat man sweat, ther r many other things u can do to him n he'll totally forget abt dat 3 some n marry u real

    4. It might and it might not lead to more freakyness. But if you do a 3some then its easier for me to suggest to you that we should become swingers or try out group sex.

      Dunno mehn. Cant explain. But I'd rather not do some things with my wife. She would kiss my kids with that same mouth. But yea if she brings up the freaky stuff....yall know Kon doesnt back down *Wink.

  10. Please have the fear of God in you! You're not supposed to be involved in sex before marriage and now you're talking of threesome(sexual immorality). Please give ur heart to Christ, change ur mindset and live only to praise the name of God and you won't need to ask such questions. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom :)

    1. I sincerely doubt the Poster is a Theist, and if she is, "fear of GOD" mantra isn't what she's looking for right now...which is quite disappointing though.

    2. LMAO ... but Jesus is always the answer na lol

      perverts everywhere

  11. Why do I feel this man is testing you, please stand your grounds, no threesome until you are married, before d man ll think that's how u ve been doing threesome upandan

    1. Lol, testing her as per microphones, right?
      If so, he's not well.

  12. Poster what is NO in your language? Oya tell him Capital NO. You want to know my reason? Scroll up and read mallama's comment.

    Besides sex is Adam & Eve, not Adam,Eve, & Linda. Be wise darling, tell him to hold his piss. Maybe just when I get home, I would write extensively and post.

  13. He most likely already has someone on his mind.

    He is just trying to open the door to something.

    I believe there are couples that can do this, enjoy it and move on.

    Obviously from all indications, I sense his own 3rd party will be a girl, cos no reasonable husband to be will watch another man wank his wife (except ur boo is hiding in the closet).

    My theory is that he is probably gay, and this is his own way of opening up gradually. (lol)
    He has probably put you where he wants you to be (dependent on him) while you hide his secret in the future.

    But don't take me seriously, cos he may just be adventurous like that, and of course we can't ask you to pray for guidance, since you are ok with it.

  14. I assert that the relationships that thrive best are those that are exclusive - intimacy shared between a man and woman only!

  15. I won't do it if I were you. .. no matter what he's done for me. In fact I had rather have this story as why we didn't end up together.. cry in my room and be pathetic a while.

  16. More so I don't think your heavenly father ll like this. Not to seem so religious but you already having pre marital sex, why rub it in with threesomes????

  17. I can't picture it in my head. It's a NO, for me.

  18. Hmmmm I just don't think you should allow it. I mean pre-marital sex is a sin already and you now want to add threesome. Like I always tell peeps 'don't start what you can’t finish.'

  19. Has d world really turned this way?

  20. Poster, I just asked my husband about this and he said the experience will probably bring the 2 of you more closer and comfortable with each other,like it did for us.

  21. I just have this feeling that the poster has done it already. The aftermath of the whole issue ( doubt of what she's done) is what she's bringing here to likely have someone tell her to go ahead with it, so that she can put her mind at rest.
    This chic so obviously do not need ur advises to decide if she should do it or not, she needs y'all to tell her 'oh honey, it's okay to do it with the man u love and who seems to love u back, and intends to marry u'. That comment will put her mind at rest biko. Abegi jor, people be thinking they are smart by twisting their lame stories.

  22. Late to the party, I suppose.

    Humans just like to complicate things always. If you love someone and the person wants something, if u want that same thing as well then go for it. Love and be loved.
    From all indications, u are also open to it as well. What other approval are u looking for? Apparently u want doubts as well. Trust me, doubts won't help.
    Enjoy your relationship with your fiancé and stop getting scared of the future. The future in itself will happen just as it happened in the past when u met him.

    Bottom line; he wants to 'explore' threesome and you are not stuck-up to it. Have fun with the (legendary) 'threesome' (that everyone is skeptical about it) and let's know how it went. Lol

  23. what is this "it will make our bond stronger" it will bring you closer and be more comfortable with each other" that's what me i don't understand o.

    1. LOL. It seems the other person's fluids will act as gel to the couple's pre-existing bond! Or maybe it's that kinda bond that comes with having Bonnie and Clyde 'runz'!

  24. 3some? Me? No no! Aren't I enough? Or maybe the extra would be there for props? Something like refereee in a wrestling match? Ehen!


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