Hello Thelma and friends of the house. I prefer to remain anonymous. I'm 31 dating and 35 year old and it's been a nice relationship. We have dated for two years and I really love him, I would also love to be married some day but sometimes I get scared of some things. I'm very hardworking and career driven and also independent. I love my independence and freedom but I'm not what you would call an extreme feminist in that I don't mind "submitting" to my husband when I get married, I don't mind cooking and cleaning and taking care of the home but I don't believe that I should lose my freedom. Let me put things in context, I often have arguments with my boyfriend over infidelity, I think if a man can do it, a woman can do it too. He, like most other men think it's acceptable for men because they're men, but I'm not saying he cheats on me. He believes it's ok for him to go clubbing till early hours of the morning but I should be home by 11pm, but I think that's rubbish.
I'm not a difficult person but I just believe that if you can stay out till 5am then so can I, and if I should be back home by 11pm then so should you. Funny enough I don't hold onto these as I don't stop him from going out or or insist he come home early. We have an occasion to attend in Ibadan so he and I and a lot of his friends are in Ib for the weekend and all lodged in the same hotel. Yesterday we got into an argument around 6pm and he walked out on me to go and hang out with his friends in the hotel. By 11pm I still hadn't seen or heard from him and I was bored so I got dressed and went down to have a drink by the pool bar on my own. When I got there he was with his friends but I just went to sit on my own in a quite secluded area, since it's not like I was invited anyway. I just listened to music and played candy crush on my phone with a chapman. Well that later led to a big fight o! He said I embarassed him, that why couldn't I stay in the room, he said all of them came with their wives or girlfriends and the girls were all in their rooms but me I came down to the pool bar, that I made myself appear cheap.
This morning he's saying he loves me but he doesn't think we can have a future together because with my attitude it is obvious I'm not ready for marriage. I'm hurt and need to know where I went wrong. Please can someone guide me on the things I need to know about being married? are my expectations or attitude unrealistic? Did I do anything wrong by going to the pool bar last night? Thank you guys for your advice.