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Dear Thelma (Should I Say Yes, Should I Say No?)

Please advice is seriously needed. *Abey* and me have been dating for six months but I didn't really consider it a very serious relationship although I know he's in love with me. To my surprise he proposed to me last month and I have been so confused ever since then. I like him a lot (I don't love him yet but I know that I can love him someday) and he is 100 percent husband material. He is an amazing person and he has a heart of gold. I haven't said yes because he has a health condition and I'm not sure that I can cope with it. I don't know what it is called but apparently he was born with it. He has taken drugs for it all his life and will continue to do so. There are times he has serious crisis and this could last for a whole week. During this period he is bedridden and several thousands usually goes into this. He has been flown to different countries for medical treatment but all to no avail. Another issue is that he is religious and is remaining a virgin till marriage. I think it's a great thing to do but I'm worried because I did my research and I learnt that some men who suffer this sickness have very low libido or suffer some problems with their "plumbing" and sex might be a challenge for them. 
I'm confused because he is so wonderful, I get along well with his family and he loves me to death. He is the kind of man that I would have loved to marry but right now I'm still yet to say yes. I don't mean to sound selfish but I'm the first child of my family, I'm the one who takes care of my parents and younger ones and although it hasn't been easy, I've been able to cope. But I don't know if I can cope if I marry him. Please what would you advise me to do?


  1. You can't go into that marriage if you are not 100% committed to the challenges ahead. Be sincere to yourself if you think you cannot cope walk now. J

    1. Very true. But how come d poster did a research without knowing d name of d ailment? Odegwu!

  2. This is tough,but I stil feel u know what u want for yourself. Don't be hard on yourself and again don't be selfish,jst follow your heart. A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage

  3. One basic relationship law never to violate is : 'NEVER DATE WHO YOU CANNOT MARRY'. I won't tell you what to do,but this is what you can do - get the following(read them,listen to them,study them and make up your mind):
    Recommended DOWNLOADS to get:

    *1. The 12 Tests of Love, by Tekena Ikoko
    *2. Who Should I Marry?,by Kingsley Okonkwo
    *3. Destiny Mismatch,by Sam Oye
    *4. Before You Say 'I DO',by Sam Oye
    *5. Before You Say 'I DO'(1,2,3),by Olumide Emmanuel
    *6. Two(2) Kinds of Husbands,by Fela Durotoye
    *7. Is He Into Me,Or Does He Want To Get Into Me,by Steve Harris
    *8. Resolving Conflicts In Relationships,by Poju Oyemade
    *9. Preparing for Marriage,by Tumise Ewedemi
    *10. Finding Your Life Partner,by Joseph Prince
    *11. How To Find True Love,by Pastor Bankie
    *12. The Rules of Engagement,by Ezekiel Atang
    **13. Waiting And Dating,by Myles Munroe(don't miss this one)
    Some of them,can be downloaded free from my blog. Go do your homework and make up your mind what you really want,and what you should want. Goodluck. ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

  4. I learnt that some men who suffer this sickness have very low libido or suffer some problems with their "plumbing" and sex might be a challenge for them.
    Yet you do not know the name of the ailment. I think you knit what you want, you just want to be able to say "I was told to"

  5. This guy sounds like someone I know. Hmmmm
    Let God guide you and if you feel he is rushing you say so, don't rush into something you are not sure of

  6. If you need the court of oublic opinion to decide whether or not to accept a matriage proposal from someone you have been dating or not dating - you have no business with that person. Free him so that someone who will love him as he is will show up.

    Nigerians like to overcalculate marriage - God forbid but do you know what anyone else is carrying? Because many appear able bodied doesn't mean they are.

  7. There is no medical condition without a permanent cure in Christ

  8. Can't see my comment


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