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Dear Thelma... (His Friend Is Ruining My Marriage!)

I married a good man who has a bad friend. My husband loves his friend dearly and that is why I'm feeling helpless. It was better when we were leaving in Benin but since we moved to Lagos last year August my marriage has taken a turn for bad. My husband is the introvert type but this his friend who is married too will not let him rest. At first my husband tried to resist him but it started to look as if it is even easier to just follow him and go out than to stay and argue with him. His wife has been complaining bitterly since they married and now he wants to do same to me. Now my husband keeps late night and sometimes until the next morning before I see him. This is not his natural character and I am tired of fighting with him. I just saw text he sent my husband now that they will go out this night and he is bringing his secretary and her friend. I've known that he's dating his secretary, even his wife knows but now he wants my husband to also join him. The truth is that I'm tired of fighting because of him, he's making my marriage to be sour and now even my husband is picking unnessecary fights with me. He even told me that they have been friends since secondary school, that he was there before me and if anything should happen to us, his friend will still be there after me. Please can you imagine such wickedness. My question now is please what is the best way to handle this matter. His friend takes him from one club to another party from Friday to Monday, we don't get to see him much at home these days. I need to know what I can do before that man makes me an unhappy nagging wife like his own wife. 


  1. In summary, the problem is not your husband's friend, it is your husband. So instead of asking him to drop his friend, speak to him on dropping his new habits which is ruining your marriage. Your husband is not a child, he is a grown ass man. J

  2. No matter what you do, your husband still has to be matured enough to know what is best for him and otherwise.
    The idea DAT you are fighting against his actions(no matter how much u want to blame his friend) wont help. I don't know what will help, I've never been married but i'm damn sure that

    1. ...You, simply being against his friend or fighting him against his friend won't help the situation.

  3. Dedicate a day or 3 days fast for the home wrecker. You will be surprise what God can do. Don't waste your strength fighting your husband or that fool. Just tell it to God

  4. My dear this whole scenario really does suck. But your husband is the problem not his friend.

    No need nagging your husband. Take time out to commit this issue to God and one day when you tinnk he is level headed talk to him, do not shout or nag as this has not worked in thw past.

    Though you are boiling inside try to maintain some level of calm during this period.

    In the mean time find a way to protect your self from stds/hiv. Your life is very important. Most married women who carry stds get it from thier spouse.

  5. A difficult one, the influences of one's friend can be a tough one to crack. Might I suggest being a friend and hanging out with your husband. He wants to go clubbing and partying, find out which clubs are decent and go hang out with your husband. Fill the void of friendship that his friend seems to be exploiting for sinister purposes. Fill up your weekend with what delights your husband (movies, plays, games, seeing extended family members etc). Gain his trust and confidence and make him see the folly in his errant ways. Don't fight with him - fighting never solves the problem, if any, it creates more.

    If the above don't work, albeit tough, ignore the 'misdemeanor' and be the best wife when he comes home. Hopefully, the non-antagonistic front should convict him of his sins.


    1. Totally agree with what you said. Madam wife just try to make small time to hang out with your husband. Try to visit those places he likes, in time he might decide to hang out with you above his friend

  6. Get on your knees and fight....fight for your husband,fight for your home.Fight with the Word of God,specifically ask God to separate your Hubs from bad company and for him to do that which is right.

    Trust me it works

  7. Just pray about it. Don't play the blame game.. just pray and also talk to your husband about it.

  8. Just pray about it. Don't play the blame game.. just pray and also talk to your husband about it.

  9. my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him.. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 24hr that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Zaki spell, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email:


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