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Monday, 4 April 2016

Feminism Is a Dirty Word.

If I scream now they'll say my mood swings have come again, seeing as ever since I wrote that post (Here) everything is now mood swing this mood swing that. But why wouldn't I react when this guy just grabbed my arm like I'm a common thief?

Yes, it's understandable, it's his job, it's for security purposes. I don't always like it but you're searched before you enter some bars, and if you've got a bag with you, it's searched too. That's fine, what wasn't is that the guys all went in, after receiving amiable greetings from the bouncer but when it got to me he grabbed my arm! 

"Open your purse" he gruffly ordered me and I obliged him, and then I said to him, "Next time, do not touch me. You did not have to touch me". The men, my friends, exchanged knowing looks and I could hear them think #dramaqueen. 

Maybe I was being a drama queen but shouldn't I find it upsetting that each of them were greeted like royalty simply because they have penises and when it got to me, i was grabbed by the arm and ordered to open my bag? Didn't I deserve to be greeted too? Didn't I also deserve to be treated with respect? I ignored their derision and settled into my seat. 

A few minutes later the waitress approached us to take our orders. "Good evening sir. Good evening sir" she greeted my two male companions. "What can I get for you?" She asked them without as much as a flicker or a glance in my direction. 

"Wait o! Nwanyi! Am I not here? Am I invisible? Do you mean to say that as conspicuous as I am you did not notice me? Or where you come from they don't greet women?" I asked her casually. 'Casually' because even though I was, I did not want to sound upset. I didn't want to make an issue out of it. In fact, I didn't want to talk about it but I just couldn't ignore, especially after what just happened at the door. 

She mumbled a nervous apology and actually looked regretful, as though it's never occured to her to greet a female. When she walked away from the table I looked up to see both men staring at me irritably. 

"Are you a feminist?" One of them spat. I was confused. 

"Yes i am. Why do you ask? And why does your question sound like an accusation?"

He immediately backed down, as though not wanting to get into an argument with a mad person, simply because when asked a question that I suspect was aimed to shame me, i stood up and owned it, to their collective shock. 

This post is not about feminism. It's about your perception of feminism. Your honest opinion. 

I call myself a feminist and I love and respect men. I do not think feminism means women are superior to men, I simply believe that no man is superior to me. You won't see me refusing to shave my legs or baring my chest because men can. You would see me taking care of my man and gladly cooking for him and doing things that make him happy. All I ask is to be seen and treated as a person, not less than. My belief is simple and that's that what's good for the goose is good for the gander

But it seems there's something missing. Perhaps my notion of the concept is too simplistic? I hear men talk about feminism like it's a dirty thing. They'd say she's a feminist the same way they'd say she's a hoe or a gold digger. But what makes even less sense is hearing females say God forbid, I'm not a feminist oooo, as though it's insulting or something shameful. 

So I'm confused and I'm going to ask. Let's play a game and do a little word association here, I can't help feeling like I'm missing something and I'd like a clearer picture. 

When you see or hear the word FEMINIST what's the very first thing that comes to your mind?

Please type your comments below. Also please share your thoughts on the concept of feminism and why you're for or against it. 

Thanks a lot. 


  1. Strong - Bold - Independent - Mind of her own.

    1. I'm in tandem with your views. I'm for feminism - I don't think discrimination against anyone because of gender does any collective good to this universe.

    2. Yes, Eniola. That's it.


  2. I'm a PROUD FEMINIST. I actually love it when people, both male and female scrunch their faces when I say I'm a feminist. It's more than a movement to me. It is a way of life. All I want with feminism is equal opportunities with men. I want to be able to walk the streets alone and feel safe. I don't want men groping me because they feel I'm lesser than they are. I don't want to be discriminated against daily because I am a woman. I'm a feminist. I am not a man hater. I hate sexists. I don't think I'm superior to men. I just want equal respect because I can hold my own by myself.

    1. "I don't want men groping me because they feel I'm lesser than they are."

      But physically speaking... You are.
      #justsaying and most men pride themselves by their physique and in turn, most girls fall for that physique. That INTIMIDATION. I'm sorry we are living on planet earth babe.
      More gropings on the way or you flee away from them.

      Stay strong dear. Mentally, that is...

  3. Ngwanu Thelma, I am tired of this matter. See what a fellow woman did to you. I think some people are plain mannerless and rude like Steele said in a previous post.

    -The Lady

  4. Delusional and unrealistic

  5. Strong Independent,with or without a man,my life is fulfilling and impactful....that is feminism to me.Yes I am a woman,i matter too

    I want to be a able to send a mail making enquiries about holiday packages and I am not assumed to be male. Apparently females don't have the finances to self sponsor a Vac....smh

  6. Since the definition of "Feminist" is based largely on personal opinions, is it still safe to claim to be "Feminist"? Why not maintain "Woman" or "Lady", and allow "Life" to happen peacefully?

    1. Lol,Memphis your comment though.

    2. Yes T, its just d bitter truth, d word "feminism" sounds like trash in d ears of many just like ur friends sitting with u.
      No one really cares abt ur explanations , that is if u even get to share them.
      D world has definitely misunderstood Feminism and its true meaning and i really do not know whose fault that is.

  7. Strong,bold and independent. the Lady was just being rude because have been to places where the waiter or waitress would even greet me before they greet my male counterpart, as for d bouncer, bouncers are becoming rude these days,have experienced what the same thing on few occasions.

  8. Women... una go soon tire.
    Most of you play the feminism card when it suits you, but scream "I'm a Lady' when it doesn't.
    Men and women, everyone should just play their respective roles and the world would be @ peace.
    I'm not a feminist, am not an anything anything. I am a woman, a Lady... and that is fine by me.

    1. "Most of you play the feminism card when it suits you, but scream "I'm a Lady' when it doesn't."

      I come across this set of 'feminist' A LOT.

  9. Your experience is specific to the kind of place you went to. You will not get that same experience in a top restaurant or a corporate environment.

    We all know that many men go to bars/clubs with good looking low life hoes. Cant blame the bouncers for assuming you are one of them girls. Cant blame the waitress for assuming same. They were both rude, but its the life they are exposed to every night.

    I still dont get the whole feminism thing. Women need to get together and understand the concept properly.

    And are women really discriminated against? Or this whole thing is just a conspiracy. Some people are getting paid form this whole feminism matter.


  10. From Wikipedia:

    "Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment"

    This is exactly what I believe Feminism is and on this basis, I am a proud Feminist.


    1. Our society just convinietly act dumb regarding the issue of feminism.

      The word has been so misconstrued such that an unenlightened mind thinks its women basically trying to be men.

      Your definition sums it up .i hope someone learns from this.

      The matter is so tiring. And yes i stand for feminism.

  11. For me ehen, feminism is being able to talk politics and football without been relegated to one side because "women do not know much about things like that"... If that can pass as feminism, then I can say I am a feminist 😜😜😜

  12. I say, 'hmmm, this is interesting. What makes you a feminist?'


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