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Monday, 18 April 2016

Help! She Doesn't Want Me In His Life Anymore.

Hello a Friend of mine Sent this to me to post on my blog or my twitter page for advice. I don't have the kind of blog.
So I am posting it here, then I will add her to the group to read and get advice:

My name is Jane, My best friend's name is Sam. He has been my best friend for 19years since our JSS2, we went to the same University, even shared a flat and a car. I love this man so much but only as a brother.

I know everything about him, he is my Rock.

This man has gotten me thru the Lowest periods in my Life, as have I for him. He loves me like a Sister too. There has never been any time when we were sexually attracted to Each other, I have never even kissed him by mistake. but we do Everything together and are very close.

11 months ago, I introduced a friend from work to him. I know him well, so I figured they'd be a perfect fit & they hit it off so good. She is a really nice girl and was so grateful to me for bringing Sam in her life. They are engaged now & getting married in 7 months.

However Recently, I find that he is "dodging" to see me. He used to come to the office but not anymore, now he sneaks over to the House. I asked him about it & apparently Lara his fiancee told him that she is not comfortable with our friendship & he should limit it.

We have talked about it & are both devastated. He loves her but doesn't want to End the 19years friendship. Lara thinks it's unhealthy & would lead to other things as I don't currently have a boyfriend (I just broke off a 2 year relationship).

I don't want to lose my bestfriend. He says he doesnt want to lose me. What can we do? please Help.


This was posted on a facebook group and I took the liberty to share since the poster wants it shared. Also I found it interesting, boy-girl friendships can get funny when a significant other enters the picture. You read this, what advise would you give the poster?


  1. She should calm down. What kinda rubbish sentiment. If he is just your friend then it shouldnt be a big deal, he is getting married, give him some space. Geez!

    I agree with the fiance. Its not healthy.

    In my single life, every girl that came around me forming friendship ended up getting the D. Well 1 or 2 escaped. My point is one day one day, she will collect the D if she continues with this friendship story. Or maybe she secretly wants the D.


    1. i agree with you Kon.
      she should give the guy some space because if she is the one in the new relationship her boyfriend won't like that friendship either. so she should put herself in the girlfriend's shoes.

  2. The fiancée says LIMIT, not END friendship, but this is what we get:

    "...I don't want to lose my best friend. He says he doesn't want to lose me...". Hianest Hian!

    Dear Poster, please respect yourself, your friend, and his fiancée. You had all the time to declare your love for him but you chose to be a match-maker, so what's your deal? This is selfish. STOP!!

    1. Lmao@ hianest hian, wel said Memphis., the poster is acting desperate., if she was in the fiancee shoes, she would do something similar. Let your friend be dear poster and move on with your life. Maybel

  3. The fiancé is being honest (esp as the bff is now suddenly single).

    You might think u "love him as a brother" but truth is, u love him nonetheless and he loves u too. As long as ur not taking this "love" to the next level,its best to leave them for now till u can also sort ur love life because as long as ur single, its gonna hurt being part of the team organizing ur best friends wedding (esp if people ask u why u aren't the bride)

    But then again, if ur really not sexually attracted to this ur best friend (and it's mutual),then yh,it really sucks to lose ur friend esp as it's u who even introduced this fiancé to him...

  4. Give them space,it's the right thing to do. J

  5. From a woman standpoint, the fiance is only been insecure, and to think that she initiated the relationship should give the "fiance" cause to hold her peace. Anyway the mind can be deceptive.

    Poster Jane, my counsel is that you allow the relationship some space, have an open heart towards them, wish them well, call your friend to keep tab on him, there is little or nothing you can do know the story of "when love happens" right? Cool.

    As opposed to what some people may think, like you wanting your best friend for keeps, I feel you are only angry at this point, almost regretting the hook-up and wishing you could turn back the hands which is only natural. You too will be fine. Let them be...

  6. If doable you are doing not wish them to possess them long the watch nfl games online free tickets or send them by another style of dearly-won delivery since that's getting to increase your bottom line

  7. I second Habibi's comment.

    Losing a friend, especially one you have known for that long sucks big time. But just try to give a little space and just check on your friend from time to time.


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