Good morning people.
So I was scrolling through the timeline of a facebook group I belong to and just this morning I saw some posts and comments by women like myself who have experienced a similar injustice.
The first post shocked me because the poster is really young, 28 years old at most. She thanked God for seeing her through the hell she experienced when she lost her husband. Isn't it painful enough that a woman so young should lose her husband? Well, her in-laws (his family) obviously didn't think so. They not only accused her of killing him, sent her away with their child and refused her from seeing her own husband being buried.
As my mouth hung open I was in for an even bigger shock as I scrolled down. Yet another poster shared about recently losing her father and the inhumane treatment her mother is being subjected to. From being bathed in the stream in the middle of the night by other widows, to being refused to seeing him being lowered into the ground or throwing dust on his coffin. Like it's not bad enough, none of the daughters were allowed to see his body being lowered, only a son who happens to be the youngest among everyone, a child! Now like this isn't enough, her mother who has a job, businesses and a life in the city is being held down in the village UNTIL another person's husband dies. ONLY then would she be allowed to leave the village and the new widow take over. It's been months and all her businesses and investments have been grounded because she cannot return to Lagos until another woman from the village loses her husband.
Please can you imagine such rubbish? Isn't this 2016 or am I missing something here?
You know what makes me laugh out loud? After reading all this, some ignorant female would still come and open mouth and say God forbid, I'm not a feminist.
FYI it's this kind of injustice we fight against when we say we want equal rights. It's not about who should cook or do the chores. It's the bigger issues, the social issues. What man has ever been subjected to any form of indignity when he loses his wife?
I simply cannot believe that in 2016 women are still being forced to shave their heads, publicly cry and cry for their late husbands till they nearly bleed (what if she wants to grieve in other ways?), stopped from seeing her own husband being buried, made to bath in a filthy stream in the dead of night, made to drink the water used to wash her husband's corpse, subjected to stay put in the village until such contingency as the death of another man which may not be for several months or years, to the detriment of her job, her income, her children's welfare her and her own mental wellbeing (this is false imprisonment btw!), and so much more? And guys, these are just related to widowhood alone o! There are so many more traditions that dehumanize women.
You know what's even more amazing? That most of these repugnant traditions made and imposed by men, are being enforced by her fellow women! (Probably the kind of women who hate feminism?).
Here ends my rant. Have you got anything to say? Anti-feminists are you ok with this? Isn't it about time we part with some traditions?