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Friday, 29 April 2016

I'm Not Equal To My Husband BUT I'm Equal To Other Men. (Open Letter To Women/Wives)

If this (Tbillz instagram posts) was actually posted by this guy, he is suffering from depression and I can state clearly that Tiwa neglected her responsibility as a wife. If your husband is suffering from depression he needs a lot of help and psychological reassurance that all is well. All these women keep saying "men can’t handle success bla bla bla" ….. It’s true some men can’t handle success, but if you look at homes that break due to the woman been successful, 50percent of the time it’s the woman’s fault

Some ppl will say why? My answer is this; if you are more financially bouyant than your husband and you married a responsible man it’s your responsibility to provide that security, do you ask him basic questions like how did your day go? Do you respect him infront of others? Have you tried making him a partner in that business? Do you honour him? Do you see yourself as a team mate or you have suddenly decided to assume the role of a leader? 

At the end of the day all these boils down to choice of life partner. If you know that you will be a wealthy woman, please ask for God's guidance when picking a spouse and also understand you will need to be very humble to keep a home. I said humble not stupid! Be firm but soft, be kind, be tender hearted, if he’s a responsible man let him know you are his employee and you are making all that money for him!!! I said if he’s responsible!!! Let him manage the finance!!! The money maker is not the one to manage the finance of the home otherwise there will be no decentralization of power. 

Please be wise women, marry with Gods guidance and ask for wisdom to keep your home! I know some ppl will come with their feminist propaganda!!! I’m a feminist but a sensible one, that's why I should honor my husband and submit to him alone and not all men. I’m not equal to my husband because he is a leader but I’m equal with other men! Toye (my husband) is the only human being aside my parents I’ve been instructed to submit to. So if I seat as a CEO in a financial institution my male colleagues are not superior to me. 

I believe in my ability and mental capacity to create wealth like any other human being and I’m sex (male and female ) blind. I can achieve what so ever I set my heart to do, but after all is said and done I’m an employee of my husband and I’ve been called to fulfil his vision. I may have the ability to mentally create wealth at a faster rate than him, but that doesn’t make him a follower he is still the leader of the home and I’m under his authority. 

A reasonable man will see you as a branch of him not a competition and it’s your responsibility as a woman to ensure you are well grafted into the tree and produce credible fruits for your husband. An unfruitful branch will eventually be cut off .

What you just read above is a comment I saw on Bella Naija under the Tbill social media breakdown post yesterday. I found this comment to be so intriguing that I just had to share. 



  1. ehen, I was reading and i knew it couldn't have been from you, thelma. lailai.

  2. These are my views on the above comment, they don have to be right but i stand by them until convinced otherwise.

    Firstly, the scripture wife submit to your husband is always been brandished, but the part that says men love your wife as Christ loves the church is mostly conveniently forgotten. Christ loved the church first even when we dodnt deserve it and the love came first. So, more emphasis should be placed on that.

    The i am no equal to my husband is crap to me, that means i am a surbodinate to my husband niyen, President Buhari isnt more of a Human or better than me. My respecting his office doesnt make me less of a human. Same goes for my future husband.

    The job a woman is to make the man secure, nobody makes anyone secure. Your sense of security comes from the understanding of who you are, i can only reinforce that security, i can not make any man feel secure.

    Lastly,i am not an employee of the man abegi, employee ko, omo odo ni. We are partners, we are one, we own what i have and we own what you have. Shikena.
    Like i said, i might be wrong, but i dont believe in the comment above. Thank you

    1. Nobody is saying you're not equal. The bible says submit. You want to get married and you believe God made marriage to be beautiful but you're not ready to do what the word says to do so you can keep your marriage alive. Sounds like foolishNess because wisdom is in the doing of God's word. Secondly, just do ur part and let the man do his part. The truth is when the man loves just like Christ loved the church, submission becomes easy for women.

    2. I never said submission was wrong in my post. Just pointing the error in the logic of the post and general quoters of that scripture. And that wasnt the only prescription in the bible for a successful marriage.

      When you want to contradict next time, get the all gist, because you still came out saying what i said. Submission is easier when a man loves as Christ loves. Dont put the cart before the horse.

    3. Trust me, your pride is talking which is fine. But for marriage, there's no pride but order.

      StaYing true to partnership in marriage requires a deep understanding of your place and position, respect it. If your husband doesn't respect his, then there's no marriage. You can choose to leave then.

      Looking for equality with your husband is not possible. Cos as a wife likewise a husband,are under the institution called marriage. And marriage isn't based on gender equality. You can go and find another partnership institution where you can be equal to your husband but for marriage, I'm sorry there isn't.

    4. The bible said submit to each other. It's a statement right above the popular one that says "wives submit to ur husband".
      Check and confirm...

    5. always particular about wives submitting to their husbands and paying far less attention to husbands loving their wives as their own flesh and as Jesus loved the church

    6. Well, we can argue this as much as we want but fact remains that a family will only know peace when everyone involved assumes their role. There is a reason why the verse on wives submitting comes first before husbands loving just like the commandment of children honouring their parents comes before the warning of parents being careful not to provoke their children.

      Submission doesn't mean weakness, it takes strength to submit... ..... Yes, it is submission when you you feel that urge to reply a statement from your husband but you choose to keep quiet. Truth is, if you reply that statement, the burden to make apologies automatically rests on you and not the man. It is submission when your husband says see that fellowship you go to, from today stop going there. It's just wise to not argue it, especially if he knows the normal you would argue it. Trust me, that ban will be lifted in a heartbeat. The reason the verse of women submitting came first in that book of Ephesians is because God knows submission is a really hard thing to do especially when the husband isn't loving the wife like Christ loves the church. If you have ever read the story of that man in the Bible that his name meant foolish (lol) Nabal, you'd see how submission works, it is not in trying to outshine the master.......... That verse of submission interprets as "she stoops to conquer" and the 1st law of power that says "never outshine the master" to me oh.

      Now for the verse that says love your wives as Christ loves the church......... What it means is that even with our sinful nature which would always take over us, Christ will always love us. Now it takes a MAN to actually love a foolish woman (yes sometimes we women can do foolish things like bringing the gender equality whatever into the home). It takes a man to love a woman regardless of her flaws.

      What we fail to understand is that with God, he loves order and hierarchy. If he says wives submit please submit but not to domestic violence oh before you people will say I said submit to domestic violence.

      I can give instances of where I have advised my friends to submit and it worked in their favor but this post will just be annoyingly long.

  3. Dear poster, teebillz created a monster and now he can't handle it, shey he was encouraging Tiwa to go nude, do raunchy videos and take over the world, now he has achieved that and he wants her to stay home and be cooking for him, how exactly does that work, The Beyonce and Jay z they r copying are both artists, they do music together and tour together with a lot of employees taking care of both of them, since TJ is not an artist he probably can't be touring and performing with Tiwa and thr is no way she ll be available to cook and cater to him while doing all d appearances on radio, tv and all. U can't eat ur cake and have it. Besides a woman that earns higher than her hubby on a regular job is whom I believe the poster is talking about

    1. Teebillz needs a side chick, huh! Oh well this whole drama is non of my bizness. Can we pls change d topic on this blog dear thelma. It's getting really boring, plssssssssssssssssss.

    2. I think he had one - Edible Catering...

  4. Alive Iin 5
    I have nothing against self help books. I love them. But reading more of them won't make you massively successful. You will only achieve success if you take other steps after you have read the book. There are four steps that I take which make all the difference. - Mar 10, 2013

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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  7. Have you guys watched Tiwa's interview?



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