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Monday, 4 April 2016

In Her Shoes, Would You Take Him Back?





You know, this is something I've wondered about for so long. I'm fortunate to have been loved so deeply that I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve such wonderful love. But sometimes I ask, if something happened to me, if I fall terribly ill, or encounter an incident and become scarred, would that love remain deep and true?

Never at any point in time have I been able to say Yes to that question. Well, I guess you can never really know until you've had an experience (one we never would, by God's mercies).

There are two things here, should she forgive him and take him back? And, is her fear that someone else might never love her a good enough reason to take him back?

Be honest, if someone you love has an accident that scars them severely or even worse, would you stay?


(Posts courtesy of @joroolumofin Instagram)


19 comments:

  1. Without sounding superstitious, im suspecting karma caught up with him and this just started turning up for the worse. Prolly spoke to someone who told him to go beg her to have u him back.
    If that's the case, she might be a side chick or he wld hv a side chick till things stabilize for him...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I thought the same thing Sasha but she won't be a side chick. He will definitely have side chicks though.

      Before I go into a serious relationship I always try to see passed the physical. Fine, I admit I'm attracted to fine women but their heart is what keeps me. If they don't have a beautiful soul I just have sex and move on. In this case I'm 95% sure I'll stay regardless, provided I actually loved unconditionally.

      If she fears that no one will love her and that's her reason then I think she would always resent him for leaving her but if she genuinely still loves and misses him then I think she should forgive. The problem here is that she hasn't seen any other man to love her since the accident, that's why she's even considering forgiveness.

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    2. i thought about that too

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    3. The action she's taking in the predicament she finds herself right now is the action every other person should take, all things being equal. So I don't Blame her, life happened.

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  2. Forgive and hope for the best. In your shoes i'll will find out what changed his mind. You can as well take advantage of the situation and ask him to put a ring on it as a condition.Yes yes I said it(in Chris rock's voice).

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  3. She should forgive him. It will come to him as a shock. He must have needed time to get around the situation. Thankfully he did. He must have remembered the good time you both shared. I think she should forgive him.

    I have a friend who travelled to Jos to visit his fiancee. Just at the road to his destination, he had an accident and his leg had to be amputated. Omo, the girl broke off the engagement before he left the hospital. Since then, I swore never to be travelling upandan to be visiting girl friend abeg.

    At least this one came back begging. Omo forgive him jare.

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    Replies
    1. loooool.

      This life is just a pot of hot beans.

      Peace

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    2. Confirm pot of beans...Lol. Smh!

      Bullshit sort of existence.

      Delete
  4. A dicey one I must say. Her inquiries are what she has to answer herself. It would be difficult for a third party to give an apt solution to the dilemma. To your last question; that would depend on the level of the relationship at the time of the accident, besides what's the assurance that a 'worse' fate wouldn't befall me later in life. Like Steele mentioned, I also try to look beyond the physical when picking a partner to forestall the fallibility of physical appearance.

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  5. Forgive him but leave him alone. The person that will love you irrespective of your circumstances will come along. In life there are many challenges ahead of us and when someone shows you who they are - you better believe them. Today it is hot oil burns he abandoned you for, tomorrow it may be from not having a male child or being able to have kids at all. The simple truth about it all is that life happens- people who are willing to run when life happens will likely continue to run. Do you deserve thay level of instability in a partner?

    www.pynk360.com

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  6. The guy na human being. You really cant blame him for moving on and searching for something better. Who amongst us wont the thought have crossed his/her mind. He thought about his future, he wasnt married to her, he had the option to move on and fine somebody more easy on the eyes. Its not fair, but its also fair. He had a choice.

    What she needs to do is try to understand his thoughts. Will he do the same if they were married? Some men will do things when they are single but never try it when they are married. They respect the institution.

    And then you cant deceive the heart. He has matured and understood that he cant deny the heart of what it wants. If she still loves him then Ill advice that she gives her heart what it wants.

    But dont ever ever say that nobody will love you. Many other men will accept you as you are.

    Peace.

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  7. Forget what Kon is saying, this is about compassion and Mr. up there has none of it. How will you leave someone in a time of distress? There are many people who will say with you solely for the sake of your bad situation even though their heart is no more with you(this isn't right but at least we know they have compassion) but this one is just evil. She's already struggling with the forever scars on her face and then you decide its also a good time to break her heart?

    Me thinks the only reason he's back is the fact that good women are hard to find and he'd rather go back than do all the work again so why not just go back to the other lady. The problem with this scenario is you can bet that when things get hard in that relationship or if something "graver" than burns happens to you, he will most definitely leave you and he might not come back if he finds someone to distract him from you.

    As for the second question, her fear is very valid cos she's human but someone will come along. I don't think that fear is reason enough to take the run away boyfriend back. She should forgive him sincerely and move on with her life. Its not as easy as I've stated it but it is very doable.

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    Replies
    1. Question for you, if she has to forgive him sincerely and perhaps totally as you proffer, doesn't it also mean she is to accept him back as her partner?

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  8. The truth is we are humans, the first thing that will come to an average Nigerians head is to pick race, lol, if that person stays at that time sef, trust me it isn't for love but out of pity. It's the honest truth, if something of such should happen am sure most of us will run initially *at least I know I will*. You can then think it through and find a way to go about it..... Sometimes sha, we overrate love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thinking of running is not the problem, in fact, if you don't think about running, I'll question your sanity but actually running? What was now the point of the 5 years together? What were you guys doing? What's the point of all the "I love you" if you run at the first sign of distress? What kind of love do you have toward each other, its most definitely not the lasting kind if you actually run in the time of adversity.

      Staying with you at your weakest and most vulnerable is not pity, its called commitment. I have chosen you above all others and come rain or sunshine, hot oil or acid, okada or car, I will choose you not because I pity you, but because I love you. It really is that simple.

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    2. Madam sunshine, but she said he stayed but the intimacy waned as time went on. Not like he ran away instantly.

      Guess what, he's back now. She should now do her own shakara too (albeit till infinity, as U propose eh)

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  9. My only issue is the last sentence. She needs to really work on her self esteem. It must've really gotten a hit after the incident. Sounds like she settling.....but how can one still love someone that did kind of thing to them?
    I am not sure I will be that nice though.


    I think if she decides to get back with him and they eventually get married,she might constantly have the fear of abandonment.

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  10. Pls don't look at him twice. Leave his sorry ass where it is. Wat Nonsense! Mtcheeew

    On the other hand, u sound like u're still into him plus d fears u ve, just make guy for some time and ve fun while it lasts b4 accepting him bak.

    But err! Chai anyways, I'll stop here

    ReplyDelete

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