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Monday, 11 April 2016

Just Stop It!!!




"Dude that's gross!"

Those were the words that were threatening to slip from my mouth. But you know men and their overly fragile egos, I decided against it and simply moved a little everytime he did that. 

So I was already drifting off to sleep when my phone vibrated. I actually woke up to take the call and after a few minutes the question came; have you eaten?

Me: no, why?

Him: don't you think you should get something to eat?

Me: look you're not even in Lagos! Don't be calling from the south-south and asking me that question unless when you do and I answer in the negative you're immediately going to do something about it. 

Him: Ha! Oya no vex. 


Dear men, I know you think it's a sign of affection or concern when you repeatedly ask "Have you eaten?" You might think it endears us to you, you might think your supposed care turns us on, you might think it's going to improve your chances with us. 

Err, most times you're wrong. 

That's one of the things you do that you think we like but you're so wrong about. 

Others are;
-Sticking and swirling your tongue inside our ears (sounds like a flushing toilet and is utterly disgusting)
-Spending forever in the sack (no, it doesn't make you a stud, it just makes you look like you're suffering for an erectile dysfunction that causes ejaculation to elude you)
-Walking around the house in your birthday suit (look, unless you're Tyson Beckford or packed like Lexington Steele, chances are we're going to be put off by your naked body! Most women, unlike men, aren't visual creatures. Put your clothes on!)

LOL, ok these are my personal dislikes. Ladies what's yours? What are those things men do that they think we like but we actually don't?

Oh, MEN I really want to hear from you and I think yours is going to be super interesting. What's something ladies do that they think you like but is actually a turn off? We are all ears!


41 comments:

  1. When they remind u they aren't ur father but in turn expect u to be their mum and grandmum...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A hundred likes for your comment Sasha Bone.

      Delete
  2. Me I love when my husband walks around naked in the house....hmmm I love it. I don't mind when he takes his time as long as I am game too.Don't wake me up in the middle of the night for some,i love my sleep wait till morning jor.j

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ladies if you must give a blowjob please know the basics otherwise don't bother. It is not sexy to use teeth. Not sexy, I repeat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why hide under anonymous? How wld she knw she's doing it wrong if she doesn't knw it's u complaining? Lol

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    2. lol at the comment and sasha's reply

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    3. Hahahahahahaa! See warning!!!

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    4. Nor sexy for you!
      The thrill of trusting a sexy mouth with playful teeth use during blowjob turns me on *nibble*

      Delete
    5. tesing teeth is so thrilling sexy

      Delete
  4. Don't wash my clothes or rearrange my place, there is a reason I left it like that,
    Send a text after two missed calls.
    Excessive saliva is for blowjobs not when kissing
    Just braid your hair or go natural, I HATE WEAVE-ONS

    That's about IT, off the top of my head o


    Ps.
    Thanks for the have you eaten tip, I thought it showed care,

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't wash my clothes or rearrange my place, there is a reason I left it like that

    Send a text after two missed calls.

    Excessive saliva is for blowjobs not when kissing

    Just braid your hair or go natural, I HATE WEAVE-ONS

    That's about IT, off the top of my head o


    Ps.
    Thanks for the have you eaten tip, I thought it showed care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon, it shows care WHEN you can do something about it if she says she hasn't eaten. Most guys just ask for the sake of asking and that's false care. She says "No, I haven't eaten" and he'll say "why nau? Go and find something to eat" or "Didn't you cook?". So what was the point of asking in the first place? Abi if I'm hungry don't I know that I should go and find food? I'm just saying...

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    2. I ask the question because I thought it showed care, I'll stop now sha. But sometimes I ask to know what kinda meals she enjoys so that one day when I want to surprise her I'll cook(by cook I mean buy and warm o, dunno why females like the idea of a guy cooking.) something I know she hasn't eaten in a while. But I guess I'll just ask now

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    3. Hahahahaha! Truly m just here to laugh honestly. Buy and warm??? Hahahaha, the thought alone is cool tho.
      Thelma says hers is 'pls dnt ask if u cant help! Hahahah, but its not dat annoying nau. Lmao!

      Delete
    4. Thelma and Anon sitting on a tree,K-I-S-S-I-N-G(In a two year old voice)
      First comes love.
      Then comes marriage...

      Delete
  6. Never use your teeth on my lollipop
    ...And please, moan, scream, whisper, kabash...just let out something from your lips, and not just lay there dumb thinking you are forming hard, tough warrior while I'm bursting my balls on you...pleeease.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If she is not feeling it ko? Should she fake it?

      Delete
  7. I have a good heart, I no dey keep bad thing for mind for long, I basically can't remember none, but their are tons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's real. That is why my wife will always win arguments. They will remember the date, month and the year and i will not remember any. I then (when we were dating) decided that anything she does, I note down on my iPad so that I will vent the next time an argument comes up, but I never. After we got married she was going through my iPad and came across the notes. She was shocked and was asking, "why did you not say anything since now? Is that really how you feel". But I let go, forgive and FORGET.

      Delete
  8. Taking my generosity for stupidity.

    Promising what you have no intention of fulfilling

    Never calls back or text after missed calls

    Farting when one is eating or in air conditioning room (please common manners needed)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous Rider!8:36 am, April 12, 2016

    Dont be fucking her and asking who's your daddy now,

    Major turn off!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wait. Its women that do the "have you eaten?" thing more. Not men.
    Thelma, you dont like the ear thing? Hm!

    1) I hate the fronting. Dont say no when you mean yes. Even for sex.
    2) If you cant cook, just say it. Guys will appreciate that. Dont go in the kitchen and cook up rubbish.
    3) If you cant do blow job, just say so. Dont try to be kinky and then go down there and make a nigga fall asleep.
    4) Dont be lazy. Be on top sometimes.
    5) Dont try to kiss after you put the D in your mouth. Yuck!
    6) Dont try to kiss for atleast 3 days if I poured my kids in your mouth.
    7) Dont ever try to be like a dumb blonde. Its not that sexy.
    8) If you are coming over for just sex, dont wear jeans. Its stress. just wear a skirt abeg.

    Just a few.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Non yafff kill me oo. Hian.

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahaha! Kon, pepper-body dey worry u i swear down. Lwkmd for here o and i have exams, choi!

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    3. KON ooo! might be guilty of all except 2 & 3 ofcourse! as for nos 6, just try that in my mouth and id kiss you right back with the whole content. you dont want gross, dont do gross!

      Delete
    4. OMG Kon. U need Jesus

      Delete
  11. Sticking his tongue into my ear,like he's some giraffe trying to clean its ear.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I concur Thelma, so let me list mine.
    1. Never stick your tongue in my ears it's irritating
    2. Never pour your saliva in my mouth when kissing me. Yuck.
    3. Never make me swallow your cum, I hate it..
    4. Do not slap my bum during sex,it's a turn off. Can't remember others but them plenty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dont stick your finger in my veejay
      dont make unnecessary loud noise
      dont stay too long in one round, its not a marathon
      dont pound too hard, are r trying to break my uterus? be gently and flow with the rythm
      chai! plenty donts o!

      Delete
  13. Hian! I looooooooove the ear kisses o

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Praising" ur friend's babe in front of ur own babe! Really????
    A lotta guys do dis, i dnt knw what they think but it aint cool at all.

    ReplyDelete
  15. 1. Don't try to suck my tongue out of my mouth, its just eww! I'd prefer not kissing with tongue at all, thanks
    2. Biting down on my nipples. Dude! MINIMAL pressure! don't chew the whole thing off
    3. Breasts, not grapes! handle with care
    4. If you don't know what you're doing, let me know so I can tell you what to do or what turns me on, don't go groping in my privates when you have no idea what you're doing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. That ear thing is soooooo disgusting! And its seems they all like it. I had to start taking extra time to wash my ears properly b4 someone dies of an infection... Seriously tho, guys, y'all need to stop this thing. Its not sexy when you try to lick out all the wax in the ear... lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. even you sunshine????? hmmmmm, mama kabouy must not read this ooo! lolsss. hows kabouy by the way n mummys health?

      Delete
    2. U make it sound disgusting! It's not dat bad.. some pple find it pleasurable! Yes

      Delete
  17. The have you eaten part gets me! I just hate it!!!!!!!


    Hilarious comments and new ID too....I like

    ReplyDelete

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