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Open Keypad. (Friends, Ghosts and Anything Goes!)





Sometime last year I was going through bobo's phone in the night. I wasn't snooping per se as I wasn't expecting to see anything on that particular phone. I'd wanted to know how he saved my name, as my name or some cute pet name, but then came an unexpected surprise. There was a certain Dr *Hannah on his phone. I've got a friend with that name who's supposedly a doctor, but it couldn't be her, right? Wrong. 

I opened the contact and saw the number was hers. When I checked the call history and saw that they'd been in contact about thrice that week, the floor literally began to shake. You see, she wasn't just any friend, she was my closest friend. I sent her a text with his phone saying "I miss you", just to get an idea of the kind of relationship they had. She immediately replied and said "How am I sure this is you. Ok take this test; who came to see you the last time I came to visit you in Abuja?"

My head went cold. Not only were they talking, she was travelling into his town to see him!

I was devastated. 

Long story short, a few months later, I learnt that she used to ask him to break up with me, that he knew we didn't have a future together so he should break up with me! He asked her how exactly he was to do that and she said "just stop taking her calls, stop calling her, stop seeing her. Very soon she will get tired and move on". 

I'm leaving out almost all the details of this experience as some things are best left for God and/or karma, but I only remembered it because I saw the picture above. It best describes things.

It was the same friend whom I went to to discuss my relationship with. I confided in her about so many things about the relationship, and all the time she was talking to the guy (whom I had no idea she knew. Apparently I once called him with her phone and she took it from there. LOL), and even tried to get him to break up with me. Oh wow! 

In any case, let's move on. You know, what she was asking him to do seems to be the standard procedure for men boys when they want to break up with you. They simply Ghost! Meaning they just stop taking your calls, calling you, seeing you, replying your texts and then become very vague until you're frustrated into breaking up with them by yourself or forced to move on and forget about them. 

LOL. I've been ghosted on and it's the most painful and frustrating thing ever. You go through the stages similar to the stages of grief; Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. And even when you come to acceptance you're still so heartbroken and confused. 

I hope never to be ghosted on again. I tell the guys I date look when you're tired, don't be a coward, just tell me and let's part ways like adults. 

Anyways this is what's on my mind this Friday evening. I'm tired of complaining about Nigeria so I'm just going to be easy, go for drinks at Hard Rock Cafe and come home and sleep. 

That's what's on my mind people, what's on yours? It's open keypad guys, you're free to talk about anything, ask anything or share anything. You already know the rules, anything goes!


Comments

  1. Wow shame on Sr *Hannah.

    I ghosted out on someone who really cared. It was the best way for him to handle it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Betrayal is the worstest thing ever, I have been hearing a lot about hard rock cafe lately, I should try it soon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah you should. I just got back and it was really cool, the kind of place you're likely to run into so many people you know. The music was also great and the food is yummy, lots of variety too. Ok, goodnight, have fun when you do go...

      Delete
  3. Proverbs 24 vs 21 and 22.

    Yh,Ghosting sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I also know how it feels to be ghosted on.. terrible feeling. Girls can be very dangerous no matter how close they are to u, when they mean to be wicked, they don't look back. The worst thing u can do is gisting ur friend abt ur successful relationship. She'll definitely want to steal ur joy especially if she's not in any rltnship...dis is always the case. I learnt d hard way sha!..
    About what's on my mind: I don't even know..freestyle tinz. TGIF!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awww, so sorry Thelma about your past experience.

    Hey guys, I need your career advice, I have my M.A in religious studies and I am looking at working in international NGO's, please who has valid sites to their job openings and any other career input u have for me will be highly appreciated. I also have two years working experience.

    Cheers,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My two cents:

      Most of all the job search sites like Jobberman, careersng do daily postings on all jobs available nationwide. You can google to find out more job search sites. I'm certain that there aren't many reputable international NGO's that meet your preference. Find the ones you desire and go to their offices if it is convenient for you. Also trainings may be a good avenue to make yourself more marketable and also to network. Hope this helps.

      Cheers!

      Delete
    2. Thanks chrisyinks,very helpful, God bless...

      Delete
  6. I'm just grateful in the midst of it all. Grateful is all that's on my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I just feel like reminding us that God still loves us no matter how far away we think He is from us.
    While this may sound cliche, the most important thing is "feeling" this love. Do we really feel this Love He has for us?... The best way to feel it is to think of God as that perfect friend that will never exist physically but will always have our backs, come rain, come sun! #notonlywhenthingsarerosy.
    Enjoy d weekend guys!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really haven't been ghosted on, it's been them leaving once they have gotten what they want,asking for a break up or posting pictures of their engagement on social media for me to see and deal with whichever way I deem fit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, that's just very mean, unfortunately a lot of guys seem to think its ok to engage you in a relationship and then post wedding invites on social media the next week. All I know is that someday it will end, you'll have your own and all these will be vague memories.

      Delete
  9. Ive ghosted some people, some have ghosted me. All in all Ive learnt to take life as it comes. I already the learnt the lesson of not trusting friends from school wont make same mistake again.

    ReplyDelete

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