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Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Dear Thelma, (Can My Sister Ever Forgive Me?)

Tee I have been so afraid to send this mail because I know there's no way people will not judge me and insult me. I had to because my conscience is eating me up inside and I can't tell anybody. I will not bore readers with the details so the long and short is that my sister was traveling abroad for a training and she begged me to come and stay in her house to help with her children. She was away for three weeks and that was the first time I noticed her husband started looking at me funny, before then he has never shown any interest beyond treating me like a baby sis. One day when the children were at school he came home in the afternoon when I was alone, please I don't know what came over me but when he started to touch me I did not resist him and that was how we made love the first time. When we finished I started to cry because I was so guilty and disgusted with myself. I never imagined I could do such in my life. When he noticed that I couldn't stop crying he begged me to stop that it will never happen again but the next week we made love again. Since my sister came back I have not been able to look in her eyes, in fact as she came I packed my things and left because if I stayed I fear she will become suspicious because I feel so guilty. So far she has enjoyed her marriage and her husband, and my whole family love him because he's the type we swear can never cheat on her or abuse her. 

I want to confess for two reasons. I am feeling too guilty and it is weighing heavily on me. The other reason is that I cannot stop thinking about the love making. I know some of you might call me a whore but I am not. In my 27 years I have had sex with only 3 men and I have never before now dated or slept with a married man. This is my first and it was never my plan or intention in my life. He has been sending me texts and if I don't report myself soon I know that I will fall into temptation again. But if I tell her can she ever forgive my atrocity? Please your advise is seriously needed, what should I do? 

Hmmm, I don't know what you should do but I know what you shouldn't have done; never slept with your sister's husband! Even if you wanted to shag all the men in the world, both single and married, your sister's husband should never have been one. 

Oh well, what's done is done. Guys, any advise?


  1. If you're still yearning for his bedmatic skills then, dear Poster, you don't feel guilty and sorry. The temptations we experience are unique to us. We will not face temptations beyond our control (1 Corinthians 10vs13), hence what you're doing now, even after the 1st mistake, is totally unacceptable. Shut down such communications with your brother-inlaw and KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Meet with a clergy man (note I said "clergy man" and not "close friend") for prayers and listen to his advice.

    Stay blessed.

    1. LMAO @keep your mouth shut. Mehn odikwa risky

  2. Forgive urself, beg God to forgive u, keep ur mouth shut and move on... do not tell anyone!

  3. Na wa o. Do not send a txt with your phone to him and don't ever call him with your line. find another line, hide the number and threaten him that if he ever calls or sends a txt to you ever, you will call a family meeting and confess. That should put him in his place.

    Keep your mouth shut. Pray to God for forgiveness and never let that repeat. What you did is ALUU. It's one thing to find you sister's husband attractive (this can happen to anybody)and another to let yourself act on it. The truth is bitter. That I want money does not mean i'll go stealing.J

  4. Your brother in law took advantage of you. He knows you're naive. He knew exactly what he was doing. Buying one and getting another free.

    You can confess. But your confession will affect your sister, husband, children, your other siblings, your parents and the in laws. He will say you seduced him. Everyone will take sides with him. You will be branded the evil person and home wrecker.

    You can not trust anyone with your secret. Not even clergy. Because you may be blackmailed.

    Do you want to continue having sex with the in law? But after the first time, you can no longer use 'I don't know what came over me' as an excuse. You knew exactly what you were doing. That's why in law wants some more.

    If you don't want to do it anymore, don't tell anyone. It will do more harm than good. Turn to your faith not to a human being. Pray, for forgiveness, closure, courage and strength to move on. Don't tell anyone. Don't respond to in law's messages. He will only wear down your resolve if you continue interacting with him. Don't stay in her house again. You need to dig deep to find the will to do these.


    1. He took advantage of a 27 year old "naive" woman. Please let us not lie to the girl to appease her conscience. The girl even noticed that Oga was looking at her different before he even made a move. That was the point to do something but much as we are not trying to judge her as that will not solve the issue here lets call it what it is. J

    2. The reasons you gave for wanting to confess is so selfish.My only advise is KEEP BOTH YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR LEGS SHUT.

    3. The truth is you enjoyed the act, and apparently wants more. And if care is not taken you will fall for it again.My advice.... Work on your self will,get yourself busy,distracted,anything. Don't bother telling your sister, or anyone at that.Forgive yourself and ask God to forgive you too.

  5. You are not a hoe, but you acted like a hoe!

    You straffed your sisters husband?? More than once??? Ahhhh.... infact you have hoe-ness in you. It hasnt just manifested fully.

    Take my advice seriously
    1) Cut all unnecessary communication. No calls, chats or SMS. Dont be patient enough to hear anything he wants to say.
    2) Die with this secret.
    3) Go get yourself a BF than can give it to you well. If you were sexually satisfied and not a horny hoe then maybe you wouldnt have fallen so easily.
    4) Try to get close to God. Because there is a hoe beast inside of you. Only God can tame it. Because if that hoe-ness unleashes itself fully - No man is safe around you. The gateman, gardener, washman, driver. They are all in trouble.


    1. This kon ehn! Ur comment makes me lmsao...

    2. Haba Na, Mr Kon.
      Some ladies love sex more than others, why should that categorize them 'hoes'?
      Abeg leVe the girl jor, like say sex is not a powerful something. God really concentrated on making sure it is one of the greatest and most tempting action, as an animal, to act on. So that more generations can become.
      In a more 'civil' society that we are now, we are restricted to abide by laws governing us, it doesn't take away that natural instinct to commit it. That she has fallen to the temptation, albeit twice, doesn't make her a hoe or moreorless make you and I a better person. I would have to echo what Memphis commented.

    3. Kon kilode now,haba u went too far oooo. Lol. Easy biko. Dear poster, keep your mouth shut and take Memphis advice.

  6. "I know some of you might call me a whore but I am not. In my 27 years I have had sex with only 3 men and I have never before now dated or slept with a married man" lol...
    Babes, its not a body count issue, its a moral/sister code issue. Let's even admit that the first time was a mistake and you didn't "know what came over me", what about the second time? The first time could have been a mistake but the second time was a well thought out decision and you chose to sleep with your sister's husband, you were not taken advantage of, you knew exactly what you were doing that second time and you went ahead with it. As funny as Kon's comment is, it is the truth.

    And your reasons for wanting to come forward reeks of selfishness. You're only thinking about your self and your conscience not what your "confession" will do to your sister's mind, heart and marriage, even her health. My dear, keep that secret forever! Take it to your grave! That's your "penance" for sleeping with your sister's husband. Don't tell it to any other living being and please, for the love of God, stay away from your sister and her family! Stay far far away, move to another city if you have to, and keep in touch with your sister from there. If God want's your sister to know that her husband is a cheating sleaze, he will tell her in good time, but it will not be through you.

    As for the in-law, don't fall for that voice in your head telling you to answer his calls/reply his texts, block his number on your phone, and ignore him completely. Get someone to threaten him for you if necessary but under no circumstance should you talk to that guy any more. Alakoba ni bobo yen, o ma koba destiny e ni.

  7. I'm married and I have kids and if my kid sister did this to me I would never forgive her, Cos it means she would also shag my son when her if the opportunity arises


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