The post of yesterday made me smile because my case is the opposite. I am madly in love with a man who has refused to give us a chance. We met on a BBM group and somehow became friends. We started chatting and then talking and weeks later I had come to depend completely our daily phone calls and communication. I was in Atlanta at the time so because of call costs for him, we started to skype and that made us much closer. Even though we had never met we decided that we were both in an exclusive relationship. We are both in similar career fields, thus our bbm group, from the same state and within the same age bracket. I admired him for a long time on the group because he was obviously very brilliant and ambitious so it's safe to say I fell in love with his mind before I fell in love with him. You can't even know how I felt when I noticed he had feelings for me too. In December I wasn't planning to visit naij for Christmas and I would have preferred it if he came but I know his salary is not very generous, he also has other financial constraints as he's the first son and is responsible for his younger ones' education so I came to nigeria. I was elated to know that what we felt was real, it was the best Christmas of my life, we met each other's family and in fact spent all the time together. We also became intimate and he checked that box too, in fact he checked all my boxes. In my head I was already planning our wedding and started talking to people about a job in lagos because I felt he was worth me moving back for. Unfortunately when I returned to atl I noticed that I was the one doing most of the calling and we stopped skyping. He claimed to be busy and later he stopped taking my calls completely. I was sad and I thought it was because of distance so I moved back home in March with my parents approval because they too want me to settle down soon. I was lucky to get a job by April but guess what I had not still seen him by then even though he knew I was around. Eventually I had to go to his house unannounced and demand an explanation, I wanted to know if he was dating someone else because that was the only explanation. He swore that he's not seeing anyone but that after I left in December he realized that I'm too high maintenance for him and that our backgrounds are very different. He said he knew he couldn't afford to take care of me or give me the kind of life I'm used to, and that he is too traditional (egotistical) to marry me and let me be the breadwinner. He also said it never works well when the woman's family is rich and the man's is poor so he decided that the best thing is to leave my life.
I have tried to convince him ever since that I can easily adapt, I will never lord the difference in our finances over him, and irrespective of the differences in our status and income, I will be a submissive wife. But he and all his people don't believe it. The problem is I moved my whole life because of him and I love him desperately that I don't even want to give another guy any attention. I have tried to move on but I can't stop thinking about him and I know he loves me, if only he can let go of his manlying pride. My heart beats for him and I know sincerely that I can be a good and humble wife for him. He says he loves me but we cannot be together. He feels my family will look down on him and I will eventually begin to disrespect him. I have even assured him that with his ambition and skill set he is likely to start earning more than me soon but he's not convinced because even when he does, he is responsible for his family's welfare, so that salary doesn't translate to being more than mine. Friends advise I should just accept the advances of someone in my "class" as it's much less complicated? Do you agree, please what will you advise me to do?