Where do I even start to apologize from? Look guys, things are just quite a lot at the moment. I wish I could post more, I really do. I just got home and fell on my bed like a stack of cards and I was drifting off to sleep when I began to wonder why it's 8pm and I'm already sleepy. Then I recalled.
Last night (this morning) I was up until 3am. Surprising af considering that by 10pm I was in bed and ready to snooze. Then one thing led to another and I went online and found myself on some pages and sites and I couldn't stop reading. I read and read and read and I just couldn't stop. Ever since the death of Ronke Shonde it seems more wives are speaking up about the hell they face in their marriages. Damn it guys! I couldn't stop reading. I cried. I screamed. I shuddered. I stared. I paced. I cursed. I swore. My eyes saw red.
At about 2am I didn't know when I got up and began pacing my room. Hell. Some women are living in hell. I suddenly fell to my knees and began to praise God. I haven't prayed in a while, I'm ashamed to admit, but early this morning I cried out to God and all I wanted to say was THANK YOU.
You see, sometimes you will sit in your corner and lick your wounds and think your own is the worst. After reading all I read, mehn my life is freaking perfect, and I can't thank God enough.
Kai! Nigerian men, why do some of you hate your wives so much? WHY? Bloody hell!
I eventually forced myself to shut off my iPad and sleep, I had a long day ahead. Unfortunately minutes later I woke up in cold sweat. I was wondering if I was having some sort of spiritual attack but I knew I wasn't that, it was what I'd been reading for the past few hours. I kept dreaming of being beat up, being tied to the bed post and beaten with sticks. Being choked with a wire until I'm nearly dead, by the man to whom I said "I do". I woke up and stared at the ceiling. I drifted off to sleep again and still I kept being attacked, molested and wounded. My dreams where nightmares, the nightmares I just read which some women are living through.
I calmed my nerves and forced happy thoughts into my mind. I eventually slept. It was fitful and uneasy and I woke up feeling like I'd been run over by a train.
May God heal all women who have been broken by the men they call Husband.