Please I'd like to be anonymous. So here goes my story. My best friend is the kindest and sweetest guy I have ever met. He has been my bestie for seven years and counting. Being best friends means that I meet his girlfriends, some I get along with others not so much. However his present girlfriend and now wife to be has become a dear friend of mine and that's the reason I'm writing this. You see *Kene* is a good person but due to family issues growing up, he battles with some demons. Speaking plainly, his dad was (and still is) a very abusive husband. Kene lived all these years watching his Mum beaten to a pulp and on several occasions he had to rush her to the hospital after his dad's legendary beatings. It's so bad that she uses fake teeth because he has broken most of her teeth. A few years ago she was on wheel chair for some months because her husband nearly crippled her. Once she nearly died and she finally left after many year of beating but after several family meetings and church intervention she went back home. I don't want this post to focus on that because the story is too long.
Kene's dad was not only physically abusive but also mentally too. He has made the woman believ she is a worthless piece of shit and raised his children in a home of fear. On the outside k is brilliant and handsome. He left Uni with 2.1, distinction in masters and also has a very good job. He is charming and handsome but very few of us who know him well know that he's dealing with serious issues. I for one know that he's a control freak, I know he has a terrible temper and even though he tries very hard to suppress it, he has tendencies of abuse. One of his ex's confided in me that he beat her up a number of times. Another one complained of extreme possessiveness and control. I also know he's a bit dictatorial in that his girlfriends' movements, dressing, makeup, friendships and even opinions are subject to his approval. He took a break frm dating before he met his current Bae and I know he has tried his possible best to suppress his issues, even though she has made small complaints about control. Now he proposed to her and she's excited but she does not know that his issues are much worse than she thinks. I've tried talking to him but he says he is ok but he know he has a temper issue which he prays about and he now has it under control. I also know he has gone for deliverance a few times but later those issues still surface and sometimes even worse than before.
Now I'm helping them with wedding planning but I'm very worried about his girl. I love Kene as a friend but knowing what I know about him, he is not someone I will marry or allow my sister to marry. I know it makes me sound like a horrible person and I'm sorry about that. People may not understand how bad it is but I know. I'm just torn between wishing them well and letting them get married or if I should tell his girlfriend what she might be in for and let her decide whether to go ahead or not. I just feel so scared and worried for her watching her do something that she might really come to regret, but then again it's really not my place to tell her as I met her through him and we are not personal friends as such. Please what would you advise?