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Freeze: I Won't Marry a Feminist. Here's Why...





The Olori of Ife, Her Majesty, Queen Wuraola-Zynab Ogunwusi, spoke what I consider words of absolute wisdom, when she stated her belief that gender equality is hardly achievable in the modern world. While speaking at the Emerging Women Forum on Thursday, June 16, the queen said; I am not a huge fan of gender equality. We can’t be equal, We can’t be men. We have our roles to play. She can’t be more correct and my respect for her has risen 100 fold, hence the proud smile on my face in this picture with her royal highness.

Although feminism in itself is a noble cause, and by definition is “a range of political and social movements and ideologies, that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women, the way many of my Nigerian sisters are going about achieving this is becoming counter productive. Although I agree that men and women have equal rights I absolutely disagree that they are equal. Each gender was beautifully created by God, to serve a purpose and assist the other. However saying they are equal is like saying a cap and a pair of boxers are equal. If you are in doubt, attempt wearing your boxers on your head and your cap on your butt and then brush your teeth with your belt and hold your trousers together with your toothbrush, then perhaps, my point will be better illustrated.

There was a certain young lady I was once courting, I remember trying to pick her her up and carry her, only to be corrected very sternly “don’t you EVER carry me, I’m a feminist!” ah…. Lobatan! After that day, I hastily put an end to both the courting and the carrying.

I used to know a guy called Akin who was quite unhappy with his marriage, because he had a very controlling, argumentative wife. This guy was posted to Warri by the oil company He was working for, and his wife, who was well educated decided against settling with her husband in Warri, choosing to return to the UK to work with an investment bank. Since he didn’t want to lose his marriage, the guy found himself traveling back and forth, visiting London on a monthly basis. While his wife worked on her career in investment banking, he still paid most of her bills from Nigeria, surviving on noodles and sleeping on a cold bed….. All that changed however when he met pretty Ekaete, who was content with her BSC, wanting her home to be her major investment, indulging Akin in the world of Edika Ikong, Afang, Ekpan ku kwo, piom piom and the likes, tempting him regularly with her 28 inch waist and 44 inch hips; today they have 3 children.

Though some men like feisty, argumentative ‘my way or the high way’ kind of women, I unfortunately don’t fall into that category, as I don’t enjoy relationships where women stand up to me all the time, putting their feet down, it’s something I consider a major turn off.

This is one of the reasons why my work relationship with @kaylahoniwo has been so great, primarily because she always knows how to get what she wants, without being rude, cocky or argumentative, making me constantly tell her how much wife material she is, and how lucky the man that would make her his Olori would be.

***

*facepalm*

Comments

  1. Cldnt read to the end...

    ReplyDelete
  2. His brain is as frozen as his name implies. What nonsense! See, I believe we all have what we like in people, men and women alike. If you like a quiet, obedient babe, why marry an argumentative one? If you like a housewife type,why marry an ambitious, 'conquer the world' type?

    We seriously have a long way to go, a long, long way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "...Although I agree that men and women have equal rights I absolutely disagree that they are equal...".

    So what is he talking about? SMH. When you think people understand the concept of Gender Equality and they start going totally off course. This proposed GEO Bill will take years to pass 2nd reading. I'm really sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Azzin! Serious *facepalm*. I understand that this is probably another attention seeking attempt from the king of attention seekers but really?!!

    Again! Gender equality isn't about domestic issues. I cannot understand how he quoted this;
    “a range of political and social movements and ideologies, that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women"
    And then went ahead to speak on domestic and family issues of an ignorant woman and a woman who chose a career over her marrige/home. How does that correlate with the definition above?

    Yes, there are women who hide under the feminism banner to cover their bad behavior, it doesn't change its definition, neither does it change the definition of gender equality.

    No one is asking to be equal to men, all we ask is to be treated fairly and equally. Don't pay my colleague who does the exact same job as me higher because he'said a man, don't promote my male colleague to Executive Director and leave me as a GM because he's a man, don't tell Ada and Bukky to stop schooling so Obi, Ikenna, Ade and Usman can continue going to school...etc. Gender equality is about equal rights for women and the girl child across board not about women becoming men.

    ReplyDelete
  5. why you won't marry a feminist and I'm reading about picking up a girl, argumentative women and an arbitrary Akin...

    Happy Sunday everybody

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm not sure that a woman who's notions of equality do not embrace fairness, empowerment and uplifting young girls and women has too much to contribute by way of wisdom. A real man pays more consideration to the needs of the women in his life rather than focusing on them knowing their place. It is wisdom and compassion that command respect rather than age or gender.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with your last statement.
      In fact, I think that if one even went ahead to marry someone who isn't in love with them, yet always shows compassion and wisdom that 'unloving' partner might just be forced to love back.

      That's not to say what the man wrote has anything to do with gender equality. Seems he is speaking from a place of hurt...erm, given his past.

      Delete
    2. I don't know the dude, fortunately; but I suspect equal parts hurt and ignorance might account for his jumbled up thoughts on equality. It is only a weak man who wouldn't find the support of a strong woman uplifting.

      Delete
  7. Daily, I wonder if Freeze’s articles should be worth media attention. If the cause is noble as he claims, then shouldn’t it be worth due consideration? Men and women do not have equal rights, even in Nigeria, her constitution doesn’t pretend to hide it, talk less about what is obtainable in reality. He needs to read Simon Kolawole's article on the GEO bill to enlighten himself. The least he should do is get himself better informed on the cause before considering himself an authority on it.

    I dislike it when people hide under illustrations/representations/analogies to avoid dealing with a topical issue. Problem is most analogies crafted are not representative of the issue on ground and only serve self-interest – just like his cap and boxers analogy. Rhetoric about each gender being beautifully created constitute playing to the gallery.

    From his last paragraph, one can tell that the highest achievement he expects of a woman is to be a man’s spouse/wife – which basically lends more credence to the fight for gender equality.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @cccc, Shay u can see now. The first paragraph explained how hes a proponent of equal rights... I am also pro-

    But this one that we are talking about in Nigeria won't stop oh. If y'all are finding solution like this, it's like pouring water into a basket.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gosh!! now I see why he lacks common sense. Both he and the Olori, I lack words to describe their level of ignorance, but in their spare time, I hope they read articles on feminism and enlighten themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry to digress,most times I listen to Freeze on the radio or reads anything he writes I can't help but wonder the kind of woman that agreed to be his spouse. Like I really have to bring down my IQ to primary six level to understand his viewpoint which at best is just plain immature .J

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why I wouldn't marry a man like Freeze: he's confused.

    -F

    ReplyDelete

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