Skip to main content

Freeze: I Won't Marry a Feminist. Here's Why...





The Olori of Ife, Her Majesty, Queen Wuraola-Zynab Ogunwusi, spoke what I consider words of absolute wisdom, when she stated her belief that gender equality is hardly achievable in the modern world. While speaking at the Emerging Women Forum on Thursday, June 16, the queen said; I am not a huge fan of gender equality. We can’t be equal, We can’t be men. We have our roles to play. She can’t be more correct and my respect for her has risen 100 fold, hence the proud smile on my face in this picture with her royal highness.

Although feminism in itself is a noble cause, and by definition is “a range of political and social movements and ideologies, that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women, the way many of my Nigerian sisters are going about achieving this is becoming counter productive. Although I agree that men and women have equal rights I absolutely disagree that they are equal. Each gender was beautifully created by God, to serve a purpose and assist the other. However saying they are equal is like saying a cap and a pair of boxers are equal. If you are in doubt, attempt wearing your boxers on your head and your cap on your butt and then brush your teeth with your belt and hold your trousers together with your toothbrush, then perhaps, my point will be better illustrated.

There was a certain young lady I was once courting, I remember trying to pick her her up and carry her, only to be corrected very sternly “don’t you EVER carry me, I’m a feminist!” ah…. Lobatan! After that day, I hastily put an end to both the courting and the carrying.

I used to know a guy called Akin who was quite unhappy with his marriage, because he had a very controlling, argumentative wife. This guy was posted to Warri by the oil company He was working for, and his wife, who was well educated decided against settling with her husband in Warri, choosing to return to the UK to work with an investment bank. Since he didn’t want to lose his marriage, the guy found himself traveling back and forth, visiting London on a monthly basis. While his wife worked on her career in investment banking, he still paid most of her bills from Nigeria, surviving on noodles and sleeping on a cold bed….. All that changed however when he met pretty Ekaete, who was content with her BSC, wanting her home to be her major investment, indulging Akin in the world of Edika Ikong, Afang, Ekpan ku kwo, piom piom and the likes, tempting him regularly with her 28 inch waist and 44 inch hips; today they have 3 children.

Though some men like feisty, argumentative ‘my way or the high way’ kind of women, I unfortunately don’t fall into that category, as I don’t enjoy relationships where women stand up to me all the time, putting their feet down, it’s something I consider a major turn off.

This is one of the reasons why my work relationship with @kaylahoniwo has been so great, primarily because she always knows how to get what she wants, without being rude, cocky or argumentative, making me constantly tell her how much wife material she is, and how lucky the man that would make her his Olori would be.

***

*facepalm*

Comments

  1. Cldnt read to the end...

    ReplyDelete
  2. His brain is as frozen as his name implies. What nonsense! See, I believe we all have what we like in people, men and women alike. If you like a quiet, obedient babe, why marry an argumentative one? If you like a housewife type,why marry an ambitious, 'conquer the world' type?

    We seriously have a long way to go, a long, long way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "...Although I agree that men and women have equal rights I absolutely disagree that they are equal...".

    So what is he talking about? SMH. When you think people understand the concept of Gender Equality and they start going totally off course. This proposed GEO Bill will take years to pass 2nd reading. I'm really sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Azzin! Serious *facepalm*. I understand that this is probably another attention seeking attempt from the king of attention seekers but really?!!

    Again! Gender equality isn't about domestic issues. I cannot understand how he quoted this;
    “a range of political and social movements and ideologies, that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women"
    And then went ahead to speak on domestic and family issues of an ignorant woman and a woman who chose a career over her marrige/home. How does that correlate with the definition above?

    Yes, there are women who hide under the feminism banner to cover their bad behavior, it doesn't change its definition, neither does it change the definition of gender equality.

    No one is asking to be equal to men, all we ask is to be treated fairly and equally. Don't pay my colleague who does the exact same job as me higher because he'said a man, don't promote my male colleague to Executive Director and leave me as a GM because he's a man, don't tell Ada and Bukky to stop schooling so Obi, Ikenna, Ade and Usman can continue going to school...etc. Gender equality is about equal rights for women and the girl child across board not about women becoming men.

    ReplyDelete
  5. why you won't marry a feminist and I'm reading about picking up a girl, argumentative women and an arbitrary Akin...

    Happy Sunday everybody

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm not sure that a woman who's notions of equality do not embrace fairness, empowerment and uplifting young girls and women has too much to contribute by way of wisdom. A real man pays more consideration to the needs of the women in his life rather than focusing on them knowing their place. It is wisdom and compassion that command respect rather than age or gender.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with your last statement.
      In fact, I think that if one even went ahead to marry someone who isn't in love with them, yet always shows compassion and wisdom that 'unloving' partner might just be forced to love back.

      That's not to say what the man wrote has anything to do with gender equality. Seems he is speaking from a place of hurt...erm, given his past.

      Delete
    2. I don't know the dude, fortunately; but I suspect equal parts hurt and ignorance might account for his jumbled up thoughts on equality. It is only a weak man who wouldn't find the support of a strong woman uplifting.

      Delete
  7. Daily, I wonder if Freeze’s articles should be worth media attention. If the cause is noble as he claims, then shouldn’t it be worth due consideration? Men and women do not have equal rights, even in Nigeria, her constitution doesn’t pretend to hide it, talk less about what is obtainable in reality. He needs to read Simon Kolawole's article on the GEO bill to enlighten himself. The least he should do is get himself better informed on the cause before considering himself an authority on it.

    I dislike it when people hide under illustrations/representations/analogies to avoid dealing with a topical issue. Problem is most analogies crafted are not representative of the issue on ground and only serve self-interest – just like his cap and boxers analogy. Rhetoric about each gender being beautifully created constitute playing to the gallery.

    From his last paragraph, one can tell that the highest achievement he expects of a woman is to be a man’s spouse/wife – which basically lends more credence to the fight for gender equality.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @cccc, Shay u can see now. The first paragraph explained how hes a proponent of equal rights... I am also pro-

    But this one that we are talking about in Nigeria won't stop oh. If y'all are finding solution like this, it's like pouring water into a basket.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gosh!! now I see why he lacks common sense. Both he and the Olori, I lack words to describe their level of ignorance, but in their spare time, I hope they read articles on feminism and enlighten themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry to digress,most times I listen to Freeze on the radio or reads anything he writes I can't help but wonder the kind of woman that agreed to be his spouse. Like I really have to bring down my IQ to primary six level to understand his viewpoint which at best is just plain immature .J

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why I wouldn't marry a man like Freeze: he's confused.

    -F

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa