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Sunday, 17 July 2016

5 Things About My Past Week You Should Know.





Hey lovelies. No, this past week wasn't unusually eventful, except for the fact that he who makes my heart race & my feet tingle & my life sweeter, was in town (Oh, the joy!...) everything else was pretty normal. Yet as I sit in bed and ponder on the week ahead, I'm reminded of the week before and a few things happened that you might find interesting. 


1. Screaming with my back on the ground, in the middle of the road, at 6am, at what has been the scariest moment in my entire life. Guys, I've been on extremely turbulent planes, I've been on a flight that practically turned over nearly pouring us out of our seats as we looked death in the face, I've heard the voices and seen the shadows of armed robbers in my home, I've slept under the stairs overnight in a remote building with a hundred giant rats (shared this on the blog), yet nothing comes close to Wednesday morning when I went for a 6am jog. 
       I found myself surrounded by 3 growling dogs who were threatening to tear me to pieces. You really never know how strong you are until that's the only option you have. I kicked at them and tried to scare them away, but when they didn't back off and I found myself with my back on the floor, kicking at them, screaming for help, grabbing sand from the ground and throwing into their eyes, I knew I was in for it. They were a bit taken aback by the fight I put up so they kept hesitantly retreating and then lunging again towards me. At that moment when three of them finally charged at me, amidst screams I covered my face with my arms, I had already resigned my body to being dog food. Somewhere at the back of my mind I thought so no more short dresses again? Then miraculously what seemed like a lifetime away, I heard someone else scream and I opened my eyes to see a man brandishing a stick at them till they were chased away. Whew! That was close. Let's thank God that they were wild local dogs and not Caucasians, I'd be dead by now! Oh, I've still got bruises on my back and my butt from when I fell on the ground and was dragging my body away from them. It was only when I got home that I noticed I even cracked my phone screen. 



2. Fashion designing is certainly not my calling. My friend and blog reader, Chocolate has recently opened a fashion outfit (Julian's Place) and some days ago I visited her showroom. She and her workers were designing a dress for someone and they needed ideas. I gave them what I thought was a brilliant idea and they allowed me to use some pins and fabric to show them what I meant. In my head it was awesome but when I actually practicalized it, that design was looking like something a 3 year old did. I finished and stepped back to reveal my "work of art" only to see four disappointed and confused pairs of eyes looking at the dress and back at me... I was soooo embarassed.


3. I got propositioned by a man in the presence of his wife. He casually asked me to follow them home and shag him. I was aware that they're a very "cool" couple, they've got five kids but are still smoking hot and she looks more like his side chic than his wife. No offense to wives in general but she looks/dresses/acts like a girlfriend (I can't explain that further). But I didn't know they were that cool... When he asked, my eyes immediately strayed to her and when I saw her smile encouragingly, my palms began to sweat. I smiled sheepishly and nope'd my way out of there. 


4. Someone called me and said "Is this Nwando? Thelma?". "Yes" I said. "Ok, I got your number from the Internet, I am calling you for a relationship". He said. "Huh? *click*". I hung up. LOL. I do get quite a lot of weird phone calls, my number is on the blog after all...


5. Oh, this is for you to tell me the 'memorables' about your past week. I can't possibly be the only one who had weird experiences...

18 comments:

  1. So I'm single but not searching. I'm ready for marriage once it comes knocking... but this past week, everyone I met or that approached me are all married men. #marriedmenwhathaveidone#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You ate single, not searching and you are ready for marriage? How does that work.

      Somewhat like, hey babe will u marry me? And then you will say 'I don't know you but I can see you're genuine, so yes'?
      You better start searching, my friend, else more married men are on their way.

      Delete
    2. However u choose to understand it dude it's up to you!U might wanna just make ur own comment n stop being in every other person's space. Tnks!

      Delete
  2. "...so no more short dresses again...". Hahaha. Wereee.

    Attended a wedding last weekend and was practically shocked to see almost all the young guys (including my friends) who are married, had *forgotten* their wedding rings at home. I've seen few do this, but this time around it was overwhelming. And if you see the way I dressed...I was ready to pluck apples. Only for all these ndi akpambos to come and block someone's destiny. Me that hates competition with passion. Mtcheww.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha...Mem,there is an anonymous up there,you could take it up from there...The hustle is real...TNHW

      Delete
  3. Wow, dogs... so sorry Thelms. I stopped going out to jog at 6am cos of a mad man that I always get to see Laughing so hard. When he sees ladies.
    I can't. Shout biko.

    My. Week was dry exhausted from children's wahala

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stating the economy is biting very hard is putting out the obvious but this past week, it was as if I did something to invite financial requests from people I couldn't say no to and all requests were attached to something important - to complete opening of a small business (she is owed salary by her former employer), to complete house-rent (he is owed 4 months salary), part of bill for a c-section (for a baby who was already dead in the womb - very pathetic case of a Nurse's negligence), a dear relative who needed some money to complete the purchase of a bus to start a transport business with (he is 39 this and hopes with this business, he would be able to raise some money, get his own apartment and start a family in some months)........I hope the list doesn't continue this week.

    Where do I even start from?

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mehn...dogs could bring out the b*tch in me (pun intended) Once after a friend of mine had seen me off, i turned the corner into the next street.
    Saw three hefty dogs charging towards me, i ran back and caught up with my
    friend and acted like I wanted to remind him if something. Then i took a different route home. I can't come and die jare

    Thelma pele o. And don't worry bout your screen; if your Samsung screen ain't cracked then you ain't using it right

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pele Thelma....when I was small,I was chased by a dog and I fell into a reservoir where different kind of unimaginable dirts are..My mom had to scrub me with izal and detail,since that day if I hear dog,usain bolt no run reach me..I can't even go close to our own dog...As for my weekend,it as just there,cook,sleep and s**...Have a blessed week guys..TNHW

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow. Sorry about the dog experience and the injuries. It must have been awful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sorry Nwando. Just like there are mad kings, there are mad dogs everywhere.

    Interestingly, I finally 'met' a girl I really like....

    More interestingly, she's still playing hide and seek....

    I hope I do not finally lose interest.

    P.S: Dear Memphis, you have to acquire the skill for a 'hostile takeover'. You shouldn't cower to bullies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. Ironic it is, as you are about to 'lose interest' and you're telling Memphis to 'takeover'.
      Chimezie, don't lose interest. Please press on, she might be worth it after all.

      Delete
  9. Sorry about the horrible experiences and wounds sustained...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I applied to this company I'd been eyeing for over a year now and although my self esteem was almost eroded at my current job, I went for the interview and aced it with flying colours. I was called to pick my offer letter last week and I was given a level higher than the one I applied for and my annual remuneration is 6 times what I'm currently earning. I was numb and in shock for like 3 days after I got the letter, I couldn't believe it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoop whoop!
      You deserve it babe!!! 😍😍😍😘😘😘

      Delete
  11. Congrats Sunshine on your new gig. Go and dazzle them with your brilliance jare.

    ReplyDelete

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