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Thursday, 14 July 2016


"I've been trying to hold myself but I can't hold it anymore... Your hair, it's digusting! It's so rough. Is this how you've been carrying it around? This is how you've been going out? Your clients haven't complained? Your boyfriend has seen you with this hair and he didn't say anything about it? Please go and remove it, you look..."

"It's ok nau. I get the message". 

Pikin no fine but em mama like am. That's what they say, right? So if my own Mum could call my hair disgusting only God knows what others had been thinking. The day before that sasha bonΓ© hinted that the hair needed to go but she was being "socially correct" about it. The boo also said something, but careful not to hurt my feelings he didn't say how bad it was. Well, my mama had absolutely no problem doing so. 

So it was that yesterday I had to make out time and go get the hair done. I was particular about being economical so I purposely didn't go to a salon that would cost me an arm and a leg, somewhere simple would be fine, because #Buhari *runs away* *swerves to dodge Memphis' slap* LOL. 

Anyways, the salon was pretty decent. The girls said it would cost me N4500 to fix my weave but I looked at them, looked around at the empty salon, looked back at the idle hands and rolled my eyes. By the time I was done they gave themselves brain and really brought down the price. 

While she did my hair I found myself really liking my hairdresser. I didn't really converse with her but from listening to her conversations with the others I could glean that she had recently come from the east where she was also a hairdresser. I also noticed unlike many hairdressers in this axis, she was very polite and kind (oh, maybe after a few months in Lagos this would change...). She was really attentive and fussed over me, and watching her with the others I could tell she has a good heart.  

I instantly fell in love and decided that she would be my new hairdresser. I had made the decision to tip her heavily and also take her number so we could do home service (I really don't like salons). Also, introduce her to my friends too. I just really liked her. 

Being the very expressive person I am, if I dislike you or like you, you would know easily. I liked her and she noticed. This encouraged her to share with me that she's a makeup artist; "Aunty, I do makeup too o! I tie Gele and fix lashes" she said. 

It's been a while since I did professional makeup and I've been thinking of taking a refresher course. I'd wanted to do so two months ago with celebrity makeup artist/Omotola Jalade Ekeinde's personal makeup artist, Bimpe Onakoya. But when I contacted her, the cost was beyond my budget so I put it on hold. So I was thinking, well just maybe I could pay this lady to teach me, but she'd have to be reaaaaaally good. 

"Do you have pictures of jobs you've done?"

"Yes!" She said eagerly and asked her colleague to help bring her phone. 

She scrolled through and then showed me one picture. It was the wedding picture of Uche Pedro of Bella Naija. 

I looked at it dubiously and asked again if she was the one who did the makeup. "Yes" she said, unflinchingly. "Where?" I asked. "Aunty... Ok I did this one in Asaba. Let me show you another one". 

I'm quite certain Uche Pedro's wedding wasn't in Asaba...

In any case she pulled out another picture. This time around, to show me her gele tying skills. I looked and it was a picture from a YouTube tutorial. One of the videos I watched when I was in makeup school. 


She showed me a few more. All lies. All pictures gotten from the Internet. 

In all of this, what broke my heart was not even the lies. It was the confidence with which she told them. 

I guess I haven't found myself a new hairdresser after all. Colour me disappointed. friend says what she did is similar to exaggerating your achievements on your CV or LinkedIn profile which we all do. Nothing wrong there... 
       Do you agree that it's ok to tell a few lies here and there to get ahead? After all man must wack...?


  1. lol. The hustle is real. She tried to hustle the wrong person. Thats all. What she did is okay. We all do. Well, is it okay because we all do it?
    1) The babe that brags about her cooking skills but in reality its tasteless
    2) The nigga that runs around claiming 9inch D and 2 hrs sex in the first round.
    3) All of us that put projects we didnt do on our CVs
    4) All of us that form gangster and street credibility when really we are butter
    5) All you women that deceive with make up



    1. I tried to hold off laughing at #5, was unsuccessful.

      Kon, heediot ni e.

  2. I don't agree telling lies to get ahead is a good choice. When the lies bite back, they bite hard. Apart from the loss of confidence in whatever skills one legitimately possesses, credibility is destroyed and when that happens, everything is questioned. I find that the English language is very generous with the use of select words that 'stretch' one's accomplishments - use it.

  3. Lol @"swerves to dodge Memphis' slap". Sisteh you lucky you dodged, you lucky. Lol.

    Exaggerating ones achievement obviously isn't right, but if man must wack from exaggerating his skills, he must be at least above average in such skills. I don't think it's the confidence that broke you Tee, I think it's the obvious lies. The confidence will only break you if she did a horrible job on you...*whispering* did she??

  4. Hahahahahahhahaha...I just can't stop laughing..Aunty wanted to see her market πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚TNHW

  5. "Let the hustle pay...holla" *in Nkechi's voice*

  6. Oh oh! The lady wants to sell her market at all costs not knowing that what she knows, someone knows it too.

  7. Lmao. People can lie tee if u want home service my sister is very good and does home service.check her on instagram @menapetite and fnk me latr.

  8. She broke my heart...

  9. If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!
    Richard Branson

    Maybe she was trying to do this?

  10. GEE HO VAAR!!! It is one thing to embellish, it is totally another thing to take credit for another person's efforts and try to pass it off as your own. I believe it is even a criminal offence! The hairdresser didn't even try sef, she had the mind to use the face of a popular individual IN THIS VERY LAGOS as an example of work she has done! The Shame!!!

  11. GEE HO VAAR!!! It is one thing to embellish, it is totally another thing to take credit for another person's efforts and try to pass it off as your own. I believe it is even a criminal offence! The hairdresser didn't even try sef, she had the mind to use the face of a popular individual IN THIS VERY LAGOS as an example of work she has done! The Shame!!!

  12. At my former work place,when I just assumed the job, there was this colleague of mine who picked interest in me, he showed me a pic of odukoya's son who got married like 2/3yrs ago and lied to me that he was at their wedding over the weekend.with the huge suprise on my face, I asked for their names and he gave me a completely different name. I just shook my head and wounded y he will lie.he was probably tryna impress me u hate lies.
    But Thelma I wouldn't realy take a hair dressers lie seriously. ,they all do it even make up far as she gives me what I want, I will continue to visit. *my Long epistle though


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