Is it a good or a bad thing that I rarely feel guilty? This is not because I lack a conscience but because I'm actually rather conscientious, so before I act, it's often well thought through, especially the impact on other people. I ask if it's a bad thing because this results in a rather uneventful life, I think.
In any case, sometimes even the best people do the worst things, and the worst people have the occasional stints of kindness. I'm at neither end of the spectrum of good or bad and this post is actually not that deep.
So that morning a few days ago mummy called me and it started out as the normal phone call; pleasantries, questions, teasing, jokes yadayadayada. And then she said 'There's one Samsung touch screen phone I saw in your room the last time I came. One that the screen is broken...'
Before she finished I blew a fuse. I wrote on my birthday about how I threw some tantrum and threw my phone against the wall a night before my birthday. Then on my birthday the next day, the boo replaced it with a new one and a later model so I didn't bother to fix the older phone. But I kept it because it contained some valuable information. Well about a week ago I needed some info from that phone and I looked but couldn't find it, I still got the info I needed and immediately forgot about the phone, so it's confusing why I got irate.
'YES. MY PHONE! WHY MUMMY? WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST ASK ME IF YOU WANTED TO TAKE THE PHONE. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT! I HAVE SCATTERED MY ROOM AND CHECKED EVERYWHERE! I DONT LIKE SUCH THINGS AT ALL. IT ISNT EVEN FUNNY, WHY DID YOU TAKE MY PHONE? HOW MANY PHONES DO YOU WANT TO USE? YOU NOW LET ME TO BE LOOKING FOR IT WHEN ITS NOT EVEN HERE... etc etc etc'
And she was quiet. All she said was that she's sorry and she'll call me later. A few hours later her driver showed up at my place with a small package among other things for the house. I opened it and right there was my old phone looking brand new; body work done and a shiny new screen. And along with it was a handwritten note with mummy's handwriting which said "I only wanted to surprise you".
Guys, at that moment my guilt knew no bounds. I swear I wanted to cry. I immediately called my Mum and I started laughing to try to make light of things and she was all "Go jor, leave me alone jor. I don't even want to talk to you".
LOL. Thankfully she didn't take anything too seriously and we were both able to laugh about it even though I hurt her. I later sent her a text effusively apologizing and she replied that it was "okay ooo!".
But days later, I still think about that moment I opened the package and saw the note and I'm engulfed by a deep sense of guilt. (Note to self; work harder at responding instead of reacting.)
Have you done something you later felt terribly bad about? Please share with me, I can't be the only one feeling guilty right now. You know what they say; misery loves company.
Not like any of us are miserable though, God forbid bad thing! LOL...