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Wednesday, 31 August 2016

When The Father Of an Unplanned Pregnancy Claims Rights... (Does He Really Have Any?)

Bisola was in a long distance relationship that seemed to be on its last legs. She loved Dozie but they hadn't seen each other in five months, she'd been planning to go visit him in Atlanta just before the cost of tickets skyrocketed and he didn't bother to pitch in either, so... They talked once or twice a week, a far cry from their hour long daily calls of the yesteryears. Biola knew they still loved each other but their relationship wasn't what it used to be, and obviously neither of them cared enough to do anything about it.  

Jaden has always believed that honesty is the best policy, and so he's honest, even when it's inconvenient. It was this honesty that played out when he noticed that Biola was digging him. "Babes I'll keep it 100 with you. I like you, I think you're hot! And yes, I'm attracted to you. But truth is, I'm not just in the headspace for a relationship right now... Like... I really don't think I can commit.." 

"And who's asking for your commitment?" Biola asked cutting in. "Look, I'm in a serious relationship Jaden so keep your commitment to yourself jor. Gerrarhere mennnn shiii!" She said and they burst out laughing. 

And although Jaden knew that Biola was using humour to conceal her disappointment, and talking from a place of hurt pride and not out of loyalty to her long distance boo, one thing was established and that was that there were to be no strings attached. And so they became friends with some pretty exciting benefits. 

The two became even closer and this very sexy uncomplicated arrangement worked for them both. Once or twice a week they'd Netflix'n'chill and rock each other's beds or worlds or car seats or kitchen counters or what/wherever. 

Suddenly one day Biola calls Jaden and says "We need to talk". Jaden's heart fell; I knew it was too good to be true, I knew a woman couldn't just have great sex without going to catch feelings, he cursed under his breath. 

He had already prepared a speech to let her down easy. Biola was a great gal but he just wasn't into her like that. Yet a few hours later Jaden sat his SUV with a lump in his throat and rage in his chest. His eyes got moist as he replayed their conversation in his head. 

"I'm sorry to bring you out on a weekday, but I needed to talk to you"

Jaden had nodded for her to proceed, ready to voice out his rehearsed speech. 

"Look, J, we're going to need to be more careful" 

"Huh?" This wasn't the talk he had expected. 

"When we started this whole thing, we were very careful about protection, you always wore condoms and the times we slipped, I took my pills... But we got careless. If we're going to keep seeing each other then we need to be careful". 

"Okay.... But couldn't you have told me this over the phone? Besides what's this urgency for being careful all of a sudden?"

"Well, I got pregnant so..." 

"You WHAT? For me???"

"Yeah, for you of course. But calm down jor! I've taken care of it, you have nothing to worry about". 

And at this point Jaden felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice over his head. 

"Taken care of it, as in abortion!!!?" He cried out. 

This marked the end of their situationship. 

Biola has been shocked by Jaden's reaction. She felt the chronic bachelor would be relieved that she had gotten rid of the baby without any drama. Besides, she couldn't understand why he was so mad, why he was acting like she'd taken something from him. The baby was hers, and therefore hers to get rid of. Jaden's anger was way out of place!

Jaden drove home that night with a strong resentment for Biola that he's yet to rid himself of. That child was as much of his as it was hers. Biola had no right to get a d&c, at least not without first discussing it with him! He had a right to know and he had every right to be a part of the decision to either keep or remove the baby. And most importantly, he would have wanted that child and would have taken responsibility. Biola had deprived him of something that was partly his and he just didn't see how they could go back to the way things were. 


People, this is fiction but it might as well be fact, most of us know someone who has been in these shoes before. So what do you think? When both parties (of course outside marriage) have made no plans to get pregnant, does the guy have any right or any say over what happens an unborn baby?

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Sasha Bone's Musings: What Exactly Is a "God-Ordained Spouse"?

So Sasha has been having one of her many deep thoughts. My thoughts take me to Adam and Eve and the history of marriage. 

We hear and read on people advising intending couples to "pray for their God-given spouse" but who is ur God-given spouse? Taking a look at Adam, his God-given spouse was custom-made for him. I mean she was even made from his own rib cage. Yet in the end, they got kicked out of paradise/eden and they were placed with the curse of humanity.  

When a couple isn't working well, or maybe end up divorced, people insinuate they didn't marry their God-ordained spouse or that they did pray enough and I'm like wtf? 

We've heard stories of parents who check the "star" of a lady to know if she wld bring their son good luck. Adam didnt have that "luxury" but how cld he and why shld he? God doesn't make mistakes and certainly didn't when he made Eve. Adam and Eve says to me that even if we make God the center of our marriage, the success and failure of our marriage lies with us as the prime participants of the union. You can even marry someone else's husband or wife (whatever that means eg David and Bathsheba) and still make the marriage work. It lies with you and ur spouse.


Mr K: When and How Do We Tell Them About Sex?

I remember when I was younger ... how my father had to watch every TV show with me, how he had to sanction every movie before we are allowed to see it, how cartoons were the only things I watched alone, how I had to leave the sitting room or end a movie if a man and woman should hug as long as 30 seconds or even if my dad should sense imminent skinship and how every activity, movie or speech was heavily censored in my home. Everyone that grew up with an orthodox african parent can easily relate.

So I grew up knowing little or nothing about interacting with the opposite the sex and it was not until around Jss3 that I found out where babies come from. I used to live with the shallow knowedge that God provided them miraculously,after marriage. My friends mocked me as they explained the whole thing, how embarrassing, and to think how fervently I used to pray for another sibling not knowing that my parents were on serious family planning. *smh*

I wasn't the most inquisitive child growing up but many children are very curious about things they don't understand and are eager to explore which is why sex education for teens, I think, is important, and a sensitive topic.

I just want to know when and how.

When to tell your children what sex is and it's implications. In Js3 like me? when is too soon or too late?

How to tell them. with details? Do you tell them don't try it or always use a contraceptive? Do you tell them it's a sin, God gives babies? or like my mom whose mom told her that she'll get pregnant if a man touches her.

Which part is to be left for churches and schools? 

With all the difficulties involved in handling the present generation, how can sex education be delivered to them properly?

People, how did you learn about sex? Many of us were told that if a boy touches us we would get pregnant, did you belong to this category or did your parents give more detailed facts, or say nothing at all? 

I'm keen on hearing what you have to say to Mr K's questions. Let's talk!

Monday, 29 August 2016

#WriteRight. I'm Esther, I Lived With Serpents.

Am I supposed to have phobia for snakes because of my various encounters with them?
Well,  a snake has entered the same room I was in and right in front of my eyes I saw it wiggle majestically to one corner and there I was, in another corner thinking that was the end. I felt it romancing my legs, even though it was all my imagination, it felt so real.
As if that wasn't enough, I saw this colourful snake ( just like rainbow) before entering the room, but it only dawned on me after I entered. Fortunately for my sister coming behind me, she saw it too but ran back.
OK let me go back a bit to how it started, It was a beautiful and joyful day for my family and our friends who came visiting for the week.We were all outside enjoying the ambience before my sister and I were sent to get some things from the room.
Obviously I was the unfortunate one that very day with my sister raising the alarm, everyone was shouting demanding I shut the door. Shut the door, who? Me or the Snake? I was as confused as the joke of the 'sperm in an asshole'.
Don't ask me how I got out. I remember running~my knees almost touching my shoulders~leaving the compound, racing on the street like I was going to get a baton.
Another was when I was the only one in the house!
Mama just got a tv then and I was supposed to go to the shop which was just at the end of the street to help my granny...
...Instead, I stayed home to watch programmes I had probably missed for a long time.
Although, house was far better than it was when I had my very first "personal" encounter with the Serpent. The inside were all floored and the main doors were fixed.
So tell me, how would a snake get in? Maybe I didn't jam the door, maybe it just found it's way in, or maybe this is still all my imagination, after watching the legendary Susan Patrick in Sakobi. Anyway,  back to reality and there's still a snake, I was sitting on a stool right in front of the tv in our sitting room. The next thing I heard was a long hiss! Thankfully, the volume wasn't high so I knew it wasn't the tv. I made for a 180 degree turn and saw this green looking skinny snake! It was looking at me or perhaps the tv. With fear in both our eyes, it crawled to the dinning and I froze with my legs all up...Me! Again? Without thinking about anything I ran to the shop bare foot shouting 'èjò! èjò!! èjò!!!!!'

Living in a new site changed my life in plenty of ways and to think we had no male occupants made me do things men would and many more...
For y'all that may inadvertently find yourself in a snake occupied habitation, here's a little 411 about snakes, some myths, some facts;
☆ Snakes are scared of humans too || "Except they are 'sent' " - My G'mama
☆Snakes renew their "skin" by peeling off their scales~which are beautiful BTW~ and wherever they peel it off, they would never(?) go back.
☆When killing snakes, aim for either the tail or the head, but ensure you cut both parts.
☆You either bury or burn them. Some people burn and then bury, but in all you do, ensure the head and tail are never in the same place. They say they merge together and do some reincarnation. Hehehe
☆Making fire on dry pepper (I think cayenne pepper) scares them away.
☆Snakes makes a very good meal and are proteinaceous. The bones remain poisonous still after it has been cooked, so careful.

Have I ever eaten it? Well, I had it once against my will (or should I say knowledge) because I actually didn't know what I was eating. It was a very big python killed in a pond. Grandma got a share sooooooooo. Ps: I got the backstory after having a sumptuous fish-like meal. *Sigh*
☆Don't call snakes snakes(èjò) lol. Okun'le, Rope, and many more.
This is the Snake Enchantress signing out.


Oh wow, I never knew we had a snake enchantress on the blog. Any TTB reader in need of one, you know where to come to. LOL. 

*Comments on #WriteRight posts will be disallowed three days after the post appears on the blog*


#WriteRight. Leana: Questions I'll Like Answered.

A couple of days ago, my husband of two months and I made out, and it was amazing. Truth be told, the only orgasm I’ve ever gotten was from myself and I’ve given up masturbation since I got married. I’m guessing you must be curious as to how the make out session was amazing if I didn’t even get an orgasm once yeah?

The thing is I know how to drive him crazy. I know how to press all his buttons and the fact that I’m capable of bringing my man to such heights is what makes the experience amazing for me. The fact that I can give myself out till I’m almost empty.

Afterwards he asked me how the head he gave me was, as he had been praising my skill all evening but I hadn’t praised his and I answered quite honestly that it was just there. You guys have to note that all my experience with great sex/make out involve fantasy and imagination seeing as my husband is my first real lover. 

Anyways his mood changed a little afterwards and I think it was because of my honesty. So I have a few questions for you guys.

1. Do you guys think I should have been less blunt? Even if I had still spoken honestly, do you think I should have spoken my mind in a much nicer way while still finding a way to praise him considering as he so wanted to please me?

2. Let’s assume my guy was an average guy, do you guys think he will cheat on me? With a different girl who praises his sexual skills? I’ve heard that guys love their ego fed.

3. Do you guys think if I had not concentrated so much on how he was not doing what I wanted, I would have enjoyed the experience more?

4. In everyday live, how much do we allow others the pleasures of giving to us? And how much do we appreciate it? I think some of us have become the perfect martyrs, giving and giving but not knowing how to receive.

5. Biko ladies in the house, how do you fake an orgasm? I’ve heard its quite common practice.

6. Now the last and totally unrelated question, how could I have improved my English, punctuations and paragraphs to have made this a better story?

P.S: This story is part fiction, part reality and a pen name was used.

Also, Thelma I want to say that this WriteRight initiative is a very sound idea. That’s what motivates me to write even though I might not win. And I’m sure that’s what motivates a lot of other people. The blog is a lot more fun these days. I still enjoy your personal stories though.

Thanks so much for this awesome feedback Leana. 

I'd like to attempt answering your questions.

1. You should have definitely been less blunt. In telling people something that could hurt their ego, one must learn to use euphemisms or at least be subtle, unless they actually intend for their words to hurt. A better response would have been "I loved it! But I would have loved it more it you had eg applied more pressure here/used a bit tongue more/gone slower/gone faster/used less pressure/etc". 

2. Guys do love their egos fed and if you make a habit out of bruising his ego then you're likely to drive him into the bed of a more "adoring" lover. Yet this in itself should not drive a man to cheat. 

3. Of course you would have enjoyed him more. One of the first steps to enjoying sex is relaxing and surrendering yourself to the moment. And when you find that you truly can't enjoy it, guide him. While he's at it tell him what you want, if he's doing something you like let him know you like that (that would really help him improve). If he's doing something you don't like there are also non-verbal ways you can communicate this (don't want to write too many details biko) so he instinctively senses that he should try something else. 

4. You might be right. I find that with general things in life I'd much rather give than receive. But in line with the context of your post, it should be 50/50 or 100/100 even. LOL 

5. Just google how to fake an orgasm. It's pretty easy really! 

6. The paragraphing was ok but you did not use your commas in particular, appropriately. I was tempted to edit and make some corrections until I saw your last question

Ok TTB Fam, over to you. Have you got answers to some of Leana's question? Then share with us. 

*Comments on #WriteRight posts are disallowed three days after the post appears on the blog*.  


#FranklySpeaking. The Killer Herdsmen and The Need For Balance Of Fear.

"Nature has made up her mind that what cannot defend itself, shall not be defended"

-Ralph Wado Emerson

In International peace study, there is something called Balance of Terror.

Balance of terror means that two parties have the capacity to inflict the same amount of terror on each other, which then now leads to Balance of Fear which automatically transforms into restraint and therefore peace. 

The phrase was coined by Lester Pearson a Canadian Nobel peace prize winner and former Prime minister, in 1955. 

This theory probably stopped a fourth world war during the Cuban missile crises when the US and the USSR realized they both had First and Second  Strike nuclear capabilities. 

This simply means, the ability to receive a nuclear attack and respond with the same amount of ferocity. 

Premier Nikita Kruschev and President John Kennedy both decided to shield their swords knowing that an armed conflict between them will lead to a Mutual Assured Destruction ( MAD) during the Cuban Missile Crises in 1962.

For so many years Islamic hardliners have often hacked down either Christians or foreigners in their land at the slightest provocation especially in the northern part of Nigeria. This un-Islamic act has been ongoing for a long time and at times, the good Muslims become afraid to speak out. 

These actions have  continued and cases like the Gideon Akulaku who was beheaded and youths danced around with his head in Kano, came to mind. Every little provocation has led to killings in the north. 

I remember when the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait led to the U.S. Invasion of Iraq. There was mass protest amongst anti-war and especially muslim communities around the globe. 

In Nigeria, this protest also began in the north and on the fourth day of the war, over 300 Igbos and Christians had been hacked to death in northern parts of Nigeria as part of protest against the war.

The irony is that, as at that time, the war in Iraq had only killed 36 people. So 300 people were killed as protest in a war that had just killed 36 people!

With all the American SCUD missiles and Apache helicopters, the United States succeeded in killing only 36 people in Iraq, while fellow Nigerians with bows and arrows, machetes and clubs have obliterated 300 of their country men . 

Julia Morley organized the first Miss world beauty pageant in Nigeria and the date coincidentally fell into during the month of Ramadan. There were lots of protests from some Islamic fundamentalists about holding such an event during the Ramdan in Nigeria. 

Isioma Daniels, a young UK trained journalist working with ThisDay newspaper did an article on her weekend column where she tried to calm down frayed nerves . In her article, she asked fundamentalist muslims to calm down and then she said the 'unthinkable'. She reasoned that even Muhammed had many wives and all of them were beautiful women, and if this beauty pageant was held during his time, he would probably encouraged it and possibly married one of the girls. 

All hell was let loose. The northern states erupted with riots and you know what riots meant in the north then. The usual suspects, igbos and Christians were turned to body bags . The killings and burning of churches continued for days . 

The greatest shocker came from the then Deputy governor of Zamfara state. In what seemed to be an official endorsement of the riots, the Deputy governor actually publicly proclaimed a 'Fatwa' on Isioma Daniels. 

ThisDay offices in the north were burnt down as killer gangs roamed the streets looking for the poor lady, while many more were killed as collateral damage . 

Isioma Daniels was lucky to have been smuggled out of the country and since then she has never stepped her foot in Nigeria. Julia Morley and her Miss world group were also smuggled out of the country. It was a national shame for what is considered a secular state.

After these killings, an Igbo delegation led by then governor of Abia State, Orji Uzor Kalu went to the north and openly told northern leaders to stop these killings or Igbos will be forced to defend themselves or retaliate when they are attacked. 

The next northen attacks in the north finally came and rumours had it that a trailer load of dead bodies where brought back to Onitsha and Aba, and a vicious retaliatory killings erupted in several igbo communities in the south east. 

Thence came the balance of terror which metermophosed into balance of fear which therefore led to peace, up until the Boko Haram era. 

When Boko Haram started in Nigeria, the initial targets were churches, Christians and police stations. I remember the vicious attacks at the Madalla church on Xmas day of 2011 where  body parts were littered as far around as the roof of the church, and various other churches like Deeper Life, where Christians were wiped out in a church during a night vigil, Mountain of Fire in jos, so many churches and Christian communities. 

I remember the case of how an Igbo Union in Adamawa state were holding a meeting on how to take back the bodies of their brothers killed by Boko Haram and they were attacked during the meeting. 

The killers wiped away all of them including the pregnant wife of the town union president whose house the meeting was being held .

Due to the efforts of the Nigerian security forces, the Boko haram sect have been seriously decimated and their ability to strike civil populates have been reduced. 

But today, the greatest menace is a more vicious and highly evasive group known as the Fulani herdsmen. They strike, disappear and live behind tears, sorrow and blood. They rip out intestines , butcher humans like cows, strangulate infants, burn down whole communities and escape without a trace. 

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said that " Nature has made up her mind that what cannot defend itself, shall not be defended". This is the reason why these killers can keep striking deep in Igbo land without any form of fear. They noticed that the Igbos have lost the ability to protect themselves and strike back. 

In Igbo land, the traditional security measure of Ndi-Nche ( Vigilantes) has either vanished or exists without adequate ammunitions.

The Igbos and other tribes falling victims to the herdsmen must realize that it is only when the herdsmen realize there will be consequences if they attack them, can they think twice about attacking any of these communities. 

Many years ago, it was almost impossible for foreign invaders to kill with impunity in Igbo land, but Enugu has defied that. Most often the governor will go the scene and cry, then everything will become normal until they strike again. 

I've often said that our security system in Nigeria is tailored to fail. The system where you send a Yoruba man to be chief of police in Kano and vice versa. In serious minded societies, it is not even state police that some people chant about, it is local government police. That's why we have Miami police and Orlando police all within a state like Florida. This is because serious communities understand that security must be home grown. The youths of Miami are the ones who grow up and make up the Miami police department. It is their land, they defend it with greater passion and commitment . They know the streets front and back, they know fishy characters and they watch out for new entrance who might cause trouble . 

In addition to this proper structure of security in a country like the United States, many will be shocked that most US states still have armed vigilantes within. 

Whilst I commiserate with the victims in Enugu whose gory pictures have assaulted my vision this past weekend, I urge the people to arise and set up an armed vigilante force that will tell invaders that there will be serious consequences when they are attacked. 


The loud silence of the Federal Government us a clear message to these communities saying "We cannot help you, so you better wake up and live or sleep and die!"

Balance of fear is about the power of consequences. The fear of consequences is the only thing that guarantees peace. 

May God bless Nigeria. 

-FranklySpeaking; Contributor to Thelma Thinks on political and other matters. 

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Open Keypad!

Tell us. 

Most of us already know what Open Keypad. It's that place you have carte blanche to say whatever you want or feel or please. It's random, it's personal and impersonal, but most importantly it gives us a harmless glimpse into other people's lives, so YAY. 


And do answer the question..



The Encounter.

Last week I boarded a plane out of Lagos. While waiting to get my boarding pass I listened to an argument that was going on beside me. So this very pretty woman, early 40s maybe, was being told that she couldn't travel with one of her bags that had some breakables in it. They were pretty stern about that and the woman was adamant about getting on the plane and with all her stuff. 

I left to board my plane and after a very bumpy flight we sha landed safely. Walking towards arrivals I heard something fall and break behind me, I turned back to see it was that same woman at the airport. Her stuff had fallen because she was carrying too many things, and so I offered to help her carry some of her bags. We immediately got talking. 

Less than two minutes after meeting, I'd already learnt that she moved out of Lagos a year ago because her husband was transferred, she's been married for 15yrs with 4 kids, and she's a lawyer. When I told her I'm her learned colleague she laughed and said "no wonder, like minds attract". 

She was still travelling to her state of residence, an hour away from town so I told her to join my taxi into town and I would drop her at the park where she would get a car going her way. 

The airport is quite far from town and with the traffic, it was a long ride. We got talking. For some reason it was so easy for me to talk to her and I told her I had/have a suitor where she lives but one major reason I've refused to consider him seriously is because I just don't see myself living there, and he in turn doesnt see himself ever not living there. 

It was then she told me that she's a pastor and has her own ministry, and the things she had at the airport were gifts from her 'flock'. She said she has a church in Lagos and has to go to Lagos twice a month to join her congregation, do ministrations and counseling. Yes, counseling, as in in the seeing visions sense. She said she has prophetic powers, was born with them and had been born again since she was 12 and has run her ministry for eight years. Then she started to talk. 

She said I needed to pray about certain things, especially my career and that she can sense that I'm really good at planning and organizing (funny, I actually am), she said she sees me being very successful at a particular business, that it might take some time, but that I will eventually make it. (Funnier because my boo has been telling me the same thing for over a year). 

Then she began to talk about this suitor. She said even though she can sense that I'm in love with someone else right now, I should come home with her and stay a couple of days. She said, rightly, that the suitor in question has been on my case long before I met the guy I'm presently seeing and that it seems he really loves me so I should give both options a chance. She said I should tell him I'm in town and ask him to come over. She would like to see him for herself and know what kind of spirit he has. She would like to know what he's spiritual life is like. She would like to see him and me together and see (spiritually) if we are meant to be husband and wife. 

I told her I couldn't come home with her but I could come into town at another time. She smiled and said "You still want to play. You still want to have fun. Ok, go and have fun. You came into town to groove, i know, I won't stop you. Have all the fun but come back and lets talk when you've finished. I'm hearing so many things about you in my spirit". 

And then she started to tell me things about my past, and they were actually true. And she started to tell me things about my future and then she stopped short, laughed and said "Oya I don't want to say too much so that you won't run away from me". I laughed too but I didn't urge her on. She added again that she's seeing many things and there's so much she needs to talk to me about. She was rather very excited and was visibly struggling to restrain herself from saying the things she wanted to. 

When I dropped her off she told me to try to come to her town and I'm welcome to stay in her house as long as I want. She said to chat her up on whatsapp so that we can talk more and continue our conversation. 

It's been five days and I've neither called nor messaged her, and I don't think I will. 

I don't know why but I think I like my life the way it is and I see these prophecies as some kind of interference. I want things to happen naturally and I want to be surprised! 

I met the lady, we instantly hit it up and liked each other and she's welcoming me, a stranger, to stay with her family. She said she senses that I have a good spirit so she's not worried, and would gladly prepare a room for me in her home for the weekend. It was a heartwarming thought but not one I'm willing to entertain. 

Yet, a part of me is wondering. Did we meet for a reason? Should I go and see her? What am I afraid of? 

In my shoes, would you go and see her, or call her at least... Would you be curious, would you want to know?

Saturday, 27 August 2016

#WriteRight. Dominique: Karma

Nnanna watched as the young girl reached up to kiss her boyfriend goodbye. Somehow, he just knew something had gone down in the sheets. His mind took him down memory lane. Those days of plucking the unripe mangoes and eating them with salt. 'Chai!, he thought, "I've lived life o. Wetin man no enjoy?" He smiled, walked to his car and drove off...thinking of the girls he made cry, the girls he interchanged with his friends, the ones he refused to marry because they weren't virgins, the line of girls foolish enough to have fallen for his wiles and graced his bed, his long list of 'used and dumped girls'. "Those were the days men", he thought, smiling. "Thank God I have a decent daughter".

He reached home, got down from his car and walked into the house....only for him to see Uju on the sofa with Bolanle on top of her, writhing. With the strength of a boar, he ripped Bolanle off and laced him with blows, screaming "How dare you defile my daughter in my house! You idiot! I will teach you today". Uju rushed into her room to get herself covered while Bolanle got on his knees admist the punches begging, "Oga, no vex. No vex Oga. I no go do am again. Na mistake. No be first knack am sef. Na Jide tell me say Uju dey give am free, say make I go try my luck. I no no say you go vex Oga."

At this point, Nnanna was as angry as he was embarrased. That his own precious Uju was like the foolish girls he straffed those days....and even worse. And he heard the sweetly annoying voice of his conscience whisper to him, "Bros, calm down. You don do your own. Make little bros do too. No be only you come this world to enjoy jare. No be only you waka come". 

And he asked himself, "Is this what Karma looks like?".


Hehehe. He who has ears let him hear! 

But I can't help wondering, does Karma really exist or does it just arbitrarily pick and choose? I ask because I have a list of people it's missed...

*comments on #WriteRight posts will be disallowed three days after post appears on the blog*

Friday, 26 August 2016


Yes I said it!

A few weeks ago, there was a post about a pastor who said

"Do not marry a woman who cannot cook, if she can not pray for an hour, don't marry her"

From time, women are known to own the kitchen,feed the family, be hospitable to guests, that is the nurturing aspect of being a female. In modern day society, gender roles have made it possible for both men and women to work in corporations and also at home. Some employ the services of a maid  when the female is a career woman who is too busy to be domesticated  and for sure pay someone else to do it.

well people have made all sorts of comments and come up with their own arguments but here is why I said women should know how to cook and no excuses.

1. First of all cooking your own meals would save you a ton of money, believe it or not, those little McDonald outings, Subway, Chic Fil A has a way of digging into your pockets whether you like it or not. You can spend $75 doing groceries with food stuff to last you over a week. As a  Nigerian in diaspora , food from African store costs more than regular grocery store so I do a mix of both, I can spend $150 to cook a pot of soup and stew that will last me about two weeks or more depending on how often I eat.

It is better than going out to eat a plate of food which on the average would cost $15 with little or no take away and then you long for the next meal which may cost you that or a little more. Do the math, eating out is expensive.

2. Everything about a homemade meal is awesome. You know your food hygiene, you know that you thoroughly washed the vegetables, you know, that the sink was clean when you washed some ingredients, the utensils were clean, the kitchen surrounding is also clean. Do you know the environment where your food was made? Some fancy restaurants have the dirtiest kitchens, some chefs don't clean up properly. Your chicken may have been fried with last weeks oil, your glass cup may have been washed with fabuloso (detergent).should I continue?

3. With YouTube and Instagram, there are so many people who can cook a storm, there are a million ingredients to learn from. I learned how to make meat pie and scotch egg from Youtube especially after paying a caterer an arm and a leg to make some for my graduation. I had to watch several videos and keep trying. There are many food bloggers out there to learn from, the visuals of the food they prepare makes you want to not just eat but try.

In this day and age the dissemination of information will make the presence of an excuse difficult. You have no excuse not to know how to cook, if it doesnt taste right the first time, try again, follow food bloggers, everyone has their own method of cooking jollof rice or fried rice, I am still learning how to get that burnt party jollof rice taste, I will get there someday. 

Don't be a career woman to the point that your family will depend on another woman to feed, let them depend on your meal, your husband and your kids, it is your kitchen, own it. On some days hubby can cook, nothing is wrong with that but don't make a buka or restuarant your food alternative. Find the time to cook and meal prep. It is essential, it is also what makes us female, you have boobs to breastfeed, use your hands to cook so you can feed.

Lola Os blogs at:


So people what do you think, Is cooking one of the natural roles of a woman, is it really what makes us female? 

Gentlemen, how would you feel about a partner who doesn't like to cook. She may or may not know how to but she just doesn't like cooking. Would this be an issue for you?

My sisters, how do you feel about cooking? Do you.
a-Absolutely love it! 😍😍😍
b-Do it, because you have to. 😏
c-Hate it, won't do it. 🚶🚶🚶

*comments on #WriteRight posts are disallowed three days after post appears on the blog*


Thursday, 25 August 2016

Dear Future Husband The Clock Is Ticking, It's almost 2017!

Dear Future Husband,
I’m still single and in my 30’s now. I am ready for us to start our family and make babies. I’m tired of being a bridesmaid and would love my own home. Do you know the last wedding I attended, the bride had to come give me the whole bouquet, she didn’t even bother throwing it sef, ha! I won’t make you promises or anything of that sort, but I am an amazing person, and even though I’m sarcastic sometimes, I have a good heart. Where are you? I’m hoping you see this and send me an email cos it’s not funny anymore. People think I’m picky, but won’t you be selective of who you’d spend the rest of your life with? Even the bible says, “Can two walk together except they agree”? I hope you come on this website so you’ll see this, if you do, please send me an email. I know a lot of people will also curse me out for this and say I’m desperate, I 
really don’t care at this point. Future husband, this is injury time, the clock is ticking, before you know it, it’s 2017. Let’s make this happen. Here’s my email, send me an email: thepin******

P.S: I live in the US currently, and work, but I’m willing to relocate if need be.

I wonder what uncle Wale would say to this... 😭.

I saw and responded to the above Bella Naija comment. Do I think she's desperate? Yes. Do I think that's a bad thing? NO. Maybe desperation is not always bad. Maybe what we call desperation is just an intense longing. Maybe sometimes we need that desperation to push us. Maybe she's not even desperate at all... Whatever it is, I find myself seriously rooting for this chic and I'm looking forward to the day she'll write to say its finally happened! She sounds like a really fun and cool chic. 

But there's something that nags me, we know how Nigerians and Nigerian men in particular think. I'm wondering how eligible bachelors would percieve this comment. I'm worried, is she setting herself up for a lifetime of emotional, possibly even verbal abuse 😨? Or could this turn out to be the best move she's ever made 💑?

Can we take a poll. Would men consider her

A) Desperate; a flight risk. A no-no!!! 👀👎
B) Brave, quirky, a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it. 👍👌
C) Others (Pls explain). 😊

Do share your thoughts

Ps; If you're a single man in your 30s and above, and interested, you can mail me for her email address. BUT please have a facebook account because I would like to first ensure that you're indeed single and 'unencumbered' and who you say you are. 


Reno Omokri: The Igbo as a Blessing to Nigeria.

On the 15th of August 1945, the axis nations fighting in the Pacific theater defeated imperial Japan and two weeks later, Japan formally surrendered to allied forces led by the U.S. General, Douglas McArthur, who formally accepted the signed articles of surrender.

But though the U.S. defeated Japan, they never decimated Japan’s great technological and industrial complex. They were visionary enough to distinguish these from Japan’s military industrial complex, which they scrapped. 

Realizing that Japan was decades ahead of the West in many technologies, the allied powers, led by the US, allowed those  industries to remain as a going concern and took the unique step of enacting legislation and policies to enable them flourish. 

What they did in Japan, they also did in Europe. In Europe, the US, acting unilaterally, even went a step further by introducing the Marshall Plan through which America sent financial and other types of aid to help Europe (and especially Germany) recover from the ravages of the Second World War. 

The point of the allied and American actions in Japan and Europe is that technological advancement belongs to the human race and should not be allowed to suffer because of a quarrel or war amongst humans. 

This lesson was thoroughly established in 642 AD when the Library of Alexandria was burnt to the ground during the Muslim conquest of Egypt. It has been argued that that act set the world several centuries back in technological advancement and has become something to watch out for during the prosecution of a war.

A war is a quarrel between or amongst people that is settled by means of violence. It is not a quarrel between or amongst technology, so civilized nations have pursued the policy of fighting wars while preserving technology. 

Gone should be the days of the scorched earth policy which is why despite the bestiality of the apartheid regime, President Nelson Mandela did not do a Mugabe, but rather left intact White owned farms, industry and universities and only insisted that they be opened to Blacks and other races. 

This brings me to Nigeria. I would like to state a fact that will be argued against, but still a fact that even those who would argue against it know to be true. The Igbo (or Ibo) ethnic nationality of Nigeria are the most technologically advanced Black race on planet earth, bar none! 

This is a fact. A fact that was proven to be true for 30 months while they were landlocked in their constantly shrinking enclave known as Biafra. 

Cut off from the rest of the world, the ingenuity of the Igbo came to the fore during the civil war as they constructed the Uli airstrip and when that airstrip was bombed, they repaired it in record time and under the most trying circumstances. They would go on to repair Uli not once and not twice. 

The Igbos refined petrol from a variety of non fossil fuels, including from but not limited to palm products (from which they also produced diesel) and manufactured surface to air missiles which they also adapted to surface to surface missiles (theOgbunigwe). 

They converted commercial planes to fighter jets and weaponized them. That was no mean feat in 1967. 

In fact, when in 2012, the Nigerian Army rolled out the igirigi and promoted it as the first indigenous armored personnel carrier, they were wrong. I am not a Biafran. I am proudly Nigerian. And beyond that, I am a proud dark skinned Black African yet I make bold to say that the igirigi is not the first indigenous APC. 

In fact, the first indigenous armored personnel carrier in Black Africa is the Red Devil, built by the Igbos during the Nigerian Civil War. The Nigerian Civil War ended in January 1970 and the Nigerian Army unveiled theigirigi in July of 2012. 

If they had converted the Red Devil to their own use, they would probably be talking about a greater feat in the year 2012. My question is what happened in the intervening 42 years between 1970 and 2012? Why didn’t the Nigerian Army integrate the military industrial complex of Biafra into its Defence Industry Corporation of Nigeria, DICON? 

Why did we have to reinvent the wheel at great cost in terms of time and money? The Nigerian Civil War ended on a note of ‘no victor no vanquished’. That was a watershed moment inspired by the Christlike mind of General Yakubu Gowon. That gesture is to be applauded. 

But why did we as a nation not go the whole hog and take advantage of Biafra’s technological advances and integrate her scientists into our Research and Development sector much like the US did with German and Japanese scientists? 

That is where we failed as a nation. 

I remember growing up as a child and how other Nigerians scoffed at ‘Igbo made’ electronic products. There was hardly anything including electronics, pharmaceuticals, spirits and wines that the Igbos could not counterfeit. 

And rather than our leaders seeing the potential in those products, we all scoffed at them. Igbo made products were a pariah. 

Did it ever occur to any of our leaders that if government had supported these technological advancement, Nigeria could have become an industrialized nation today and Igbo made products would have been exported abroad as made in Nigeria products? 

It would surprise many that a number of the greatest technological advancement and products that came out of America after the Second World War were the work of German or Japanese scientists! 

In an operation code named Operation Paperclip, 1500 German scientists, engineers and technicians were airlifted to the United States and given US permanent US residency and citizenship immediately after the defeat of Germany in 1945. The primary aim of Operation Paperclip was to prevent these skilled men and women from falling into Soviet Russian hands. 

Hans Erich (Eric) Hollmann who was one of the fathers of radar technology was one of such scientists airlifted to America. Kurt Lehovec the pioneer of the integrated circuit systems in electrical engineering is another. He was airlifted to America in 1945 where he became a Professor at the University of Southern California and passed on his knowledge to America’s next generation of scientists. 

The allies had been having issues with the jet engine and were not able to develop planes like the German Messerschmitt Me 262. But after the defeat of Germany, US forces gave safe passage to Rudi Beichel who went to the US and became an adviser to the US army on liquid propulsion. Other German scientists such as Magnus “Mac” Freiherr von Braun and his brother, Wernher Von Braun helped reverse engineer German jets which led to the development of the US American F-86 Sabres, a plane that helped the US dominate the air during the Korean War. 

More importantly, Wernher Von Braun provided much of the know how that helped America build the Apollo spacecraft which allowed America beat Russia as the first nation to get to the moon. 

Methamphetamine was invented by Japanese a Japanese chemist, Nagai Nagayoshi and the drug was shared with their German allies and helped their soldiers stay awake and focus. After the war, German scientists helped American scientist synthesize the drug which revolutionized the US health industry. 

Why can’t we do the same in Nigeria? Can you imagine what our technological base would have been if we as a nation had a policy of patronizing the so called Igbo made products right from the end of the war till today? What if we had absorbed the the Research and Production Organisation of Biafra (RAP as it was then known) into the Nigerian Army Corps of Engineers? 

By now, we may have been manufacturing jets and we would not be dependent on foreign nations for weapons to fight terrorists. This is why I was so disgusted with the minister of science and technology, Ogbonnaya Onu for aspiring, on Nigeria’s behalf, to produce pencils by 2018! 

I mean this man is the first civilian governor of the old Abia state which today encompasses both Abia and Ebonyi states. 

Right there, under his own nose, Nigerians of Igbo extraction, without ANY governmental support, are manufacturing electronics and heavy machinery components and Onu is caught up on pencils! 

Onu should visit Nnewi if he knows where it is. Right there he would see a city that does not wait for government. Nnewi people are so industrious that after years of waiting endlessly for government to provide basic amenities, they have built their own roads, have their own power stations and their own water works. 

Just like Japan, Nnewi has manufacturers of such things like batteries, pistons, automobiles and other products. These Nnewi manufacturers have built schools for the kids of their workers on site, just like in Japan. 

You just need to visit Nnewi or Aba to see what is going on in Nigeria. These guys are Nigeria’s most guarded secret because even the federal government is not aware of them. 

And the reason why this is so is because these people are Igbos! 

It is time for Nigeria to forgive the Igbos for being Igbo and accept them as full partners and equal partners in the Nigerian project and use the entire strength of the Nigerian federal government to provide them the support to fulfill their destiny as the Black African people that are nucleus of the technological advancement of Africa. 

Notice I say Africa, not just Nigeria. I don’t say this lightly. All over West and Central Africa, Nigerians of Igbo extraction are the backbone of the commercial and technological sectors. 

I can say what I have said above without any accusation of self or group interest promotion because I am not Igbo neither am I married to one. I have said the truth as my conscience sees it because I am committed to advancement of the Black Race because as a proud Black man, I know that no black African tribe is as great as the Black Race when it is united.

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