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Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Dear Thelma... My Fiancé Is a Pimp!

Blog visitors please tell me what you think about this. Will you be fine with your boyfriend or husband being a pimp? 

My wedding is planned for next Easter and by God's grace everything has been going smoothly. My fiancé does not give me much to worry about in that he has never cheated on me to be best of my knowledge, he is not abusive and he has a good job. He is also a christian, maybe not a spirikoko but at least he goes to church, he pays his tithe and he loves God. He is very hardworking and ambitious and that's why his boss likes him but sometimes it can be a bad thing. What I mean is that he is close to his boss and does things for him that are both official and unofficial, like arranging girls for him and his friends, this happens on a weekly basis. His Oga is a married man in his 50s. My bobo is 31 and that is who he looks up to. Last night some of his Oga's friends went to town for the PDP convention and he asked my bobo to arrange girls for all of them. And of course my diligent bobo delivered. I don't even know how he knows all these girls but I think he has a contact in LASU and Unilag that sorts him out with. I don't know if I'm overthinking things, he respects his boss so much, in fact he is his role model sef. Should I be worried about my own marriage? I am a Christian and I'm not comfortable with that kind of thing, I love him and I think he will be a good husband. I have talked to him about it and he says he's just doing his job diligently and wants to be indispensable to his boss, I understand that but I am worried. Please blog visitors what do you think, will you be fine with that kind of thing? Thank you. 


  1. I don't think him being a pimp is cool. My sister tells me that it's important for partners to agree on important ideals and I think this is one. Just think about it carefully and pray without bias... I think this is even whack advise sef. What do I know?

  2. The guy is doing his job abeg. The job is going to pay for your wedding dress, your jewelry, your honey moon etc. So let him do his job. He might be getting special favor from his boss because of this singular thing he does. This can even save him from being sacked if the company decided to lay off. Free him.

    If your concern is that he might be straffing the you think stopping him from pimping will change that?? It wont. So let him make that money!


    1. Hiaaaann kon kon,for the first time ehhh your advice is giving me running stomach. What is bad is bad, pimping other people's children to old men, not just that, what if one of the men or even his boss uses these girls in question to renew their wealth which we don't know if he got in a clean way, have you thought of what will happen to her fiance if something happens to any of the girls and he is held responsible for it? Dear poster, I think you should try and talk to your bobo about it, make him see the negative sides of his actions, ask him how he will feel if his daughter is being pimped. Karma is the real deal ohhh and let's not allow our love for money blind our sense of reasoning, he needs to stop it before it lands him into trouble.

    2. Am with Kon 100%..Maybel,what you should be worried about is the other people's children engaging in runs.The so called old men didn't force the girls to sleep with them jor,it is there wish.Dear poster if you can't take the heat please leave the kitchen..kon's last paragraph is so true.TNHW

    3. I'm so with you Kon. Let him do his biz! *hian. Carrying unnecessary load for no reason.

    4. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @Pun intended

      Iv never been on the same page with Kon!
      We are from two very different worlds

  3. I fink sparing d rod n advicing d child z d best cuz u might end up impinging an injury on d child, which might b complicated n in some cases lead to death.i suggest parents should avoid beating their children n leave it for God to intervene..u cn beat dem sumtyms bt nt all d tym

  4. Personally, I wouldn't be fine with it. But, this is not about me, it is about you.

    I think what you should do is speak more to your fiance about your displeasure with the issue. Try to convince him of the error in his ways and see if he can do same to his boss. What your fiance needs to do is to enlighten his boss about the dangers of STD's and how it has wrecked lives of people within reach; the havoc promiscuity has caused to families; and also the possibility that some of the ladies may be using your bosses's sperm for ritual purposes. Essentially, your fiance has to create a situation where his boss feels that the gains of indulging in extra-marital sexual activities do not outweigh the eventual cost. If he is successful with the previous steps, he should also function as a support structure to ensure that his boss effectively and completely changes his life for good.

    To be diligent at his job and indispensable to his boss, he simply needs to improve his performance on the job, go for training, fill his work-day with activities, find out juicy business opportunities for his company etc. If he does this, he would have two possible benefits; one, the boss would visibly recognize him as indispensable to the business and two, the boss would understand if your fiance doesn't want to be a pimp for him or if your fiance says he doesn't have the time to be a pimp.

    Last, pray. You are both Christians and sincerely, if, you both want to make this change for Christ, I'd want to believe that Christ would make provisions to ensure that you don't lose your means of sustenance.


    1. Sadly, corporate Nigeria does not work that way. The shortcut to progress at work, is to have sex or pimp for the boss. No one will tell you how they got the promotion, foreign placement, raise etc. It is all attributed to baba God. Some people go to the boss's house to do housework. Or be waiters at his/her parties. It isn't as easy to extricate oneself from this way of life. Sometimes, they enjoy it. Being the fix it chap. The person who brings the feel good factor in the boss' life.

      If you ask today's bosses how they grew, they won't tell of the unsavoury things that propelled them to the top. Pimping is common in the workplace. Even women do it. That's why these staff are indispensable. Not the straightlaced, hardworking ones. They are the ones who do all the hard work.

      He has a reputation as a pimp. His reputation precedes him. He can't stop because that is what ensures he keeps his job with extra money in his pocket.

      We can't advise on the future of your relationship. You're the one wearing the shoes. That's your call.


    2. @ Mallama

      So nice to read your comment.

      Much as I agree with the your perspective and the fact that it mirrors much of the reality in the Nigerian corporate environment, I am troubled to advise another to live life by default rather than by design.

      Personally, I've also experienced getting the raw side of a deal just because I wanted to live by principles rather than what is termed acceptable. But, you know what? By some miraculous turn of fate, the 'raw deal' turned out to work something better and greater for me. The poster mentioned they both being a Christian and I believe that oftentimes God steps into certain dilemmas that we experience to show Himself able to help those who trust against all odds in Him. I'd want to believe you've experienced something similar in your religion.

      At some time in life, I feel the truly successful and great people would have to define what they really stand for. I feel this scenario is one of such situations. It's very easy to flow with the crowd but then for how long? when does one draw the line? Maybel S in her comment mentioned a few of the vices one aids with continuing being a pimp - a number of these girls are drawn to prostitution because the opportunity exists, why should we create more opportunities when we know better?

      I know it is a hard choice to make, especially given the current harsh economic realities. Hence, why I advise acting with wisdom i.e. trying to be a superior employee and also helping the boss understand the full weight of his actions.

      Well, let's just hope that with time, the Nigerian corporate environment gets better.

      PS: I hope we'd see more of your comments on blog posts. Chrisyinks

  5. Your boyfriend looks up to a man who routinely steps out on his wife every weekend with children half his age who are old enough to be his daughters? I think its safe to say that you're looking at your life with him a few light years away.

    If his extracurricular activities and their implications are ok with you, then you can go ahead with it, if not then y'all need to sit down and have that serious conversation.

    Really though, pimping little girls to old men? That's just wrong on so many levels and the fact that he doesn't see anything wrong with it or is justifying it says a lot about him. Regardless of what he thinks, he is not indispensable to his boss, no one is indispensable. Plus, aren't there other guys in that office, why is it him that his boss chose to do this runs? Is he saying the other guys are more dispensable than he is? That's self deceit.

  6. There is a thin line between what is acceptable and what isn't.

    The day your fiance said yes to his pimping for your boss, he crossed that line.

    Personally, I will have a major problem with his actions.

    The Nigerian corporate environment is messed up but he can still stand up for himself and extricate himself from this sham of a mentor.
    You are right to be very worried. This so called mentor will be his ruin sooner or later.
    I wish you wisdom to handle this.

  7. I didn't want to comment on this because I was a bit disgusted at first, but it's no surprise that in this 21st century, the number of people justifying (or looking for validation for) foolishness has increased geometrically.

    The man in question isn't your random toaster, boyfriend, or *lord of the rings* fiancé; he's going to be your husband in less than 8 months. He's pimping and giving excuses and you say you UNDERSTAND. What's the difference between pimping and cheating? Your fiancé is a catalyst to his boss' possible matrimonial disaster and you UNDERSTAND. Maybe because your sisters or nieces aren't among the *commodities* that's why you're here asking for unnecessary advice? Or maybe you'll understand one day if your children become pimps.

    Just like Mallama said, "We can't advise on the future of your relationship. You're the one wearing the shoes. That's your call". And that's what it is, YOUR CALL.

    1. "but it's no surprise that in this 21st century, the number of people justifying (or looking for validation for) foolishness has increased geometrically."

      The reason I do t get so shocked anymore by comments from people.
      People like you, sunshine, Clare, Maybel and a few other sane ones are a breath of fresh air.


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