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Monday, 15 August 2016

Healing After a Bad Breakup... What Do The Brokenhearted Do?

I read my title above and wondered if there's such a thing as a "good breakup".
I seriously doubt it, not when there were emotions and love and memories and feelings and dreams and all that. Days ago my friend sent me a picture and the minute I opened it I knew I had to call her, and I knew that when she answered she would be crying. And just as expected, she was. It was not simple tears or mild sobs, but crying that comes from the depth of one's soul, she cried from the pit of her belly and everytime she tried to talk her voice would shake.

My heart broke a little. I could imagine the pain of watching the love of your life wed someone else. The love of your life whom you're deeply in love with and who's probably still in love with you. Five years or more together and suddenly they have to walk away because their family is against having you in it. So when I saw the picture of the love of her life and his bride whom he met barely months ago, I knew my friend would be in intense pain. Unfortunately, when you've been with someone for that long you both inevitably have several mutual friends. There was therefore no escaping the onslaught of his wedding pictures from bbm/whatsapp DPs and social media walls. She had to watch picture by picture as the man she loves gave himself to another. 

Ever since that day her profile pictures have been one sad quote or the other, earlier today it was something about how the best thing you can do for someone in pain is to hold them tight and give them a big hug. The picture above is the second profile picture she's putting up today. I'm not a fan of putting up such pieces on one's public display pictures, but I can't even talk because if it's going to help her in any way, then by all means she should put up a thousand of these. 

I keep calling to check on her but my calls certainly make no difference. What do you say to someone suffering a terrible heartbreak to make them feel better? And so many people right now are dealing with this. If I got a N1000 everytime someone called me crying because of heartbreak or a breakup, I'd be well on my way to wealth by now!

And so I'm wondering about it guys, have you ever suffered a heartbreak? How long did it take you to move on? And for those who haven't yet moved on, why is it so difficult for you?

I've had my fair share of heartbreaks and what usually helps me is talking about it with people who care. Talking about my issues generally makes me feel better, so it's only natural, I guess. But what really helps me heal is prayers. That's still talking, but this time around its talking to God. I find that when I pray about it, the pain doesn't leave instantly but slowly I begin to feel hopeful and maybe even happy. To quicken the misery, I delete their numbers, pictures and everything that could remind me of them. I avoid places we visited together and mutual friends we have/had, and I watch a lot of comedy. I spend hours watching reruns of Big Bang Theory and 2 Broke Girls or just about anything that makes me laugh, and avoid every romance movie or romcoms like the plague! LOL. 

So what works for you? Have you ever dealt with heartbreak? What was yours life and what helped/helps you recovers?

Let's talk. 

Ps, for those wondering about my own "romantic situation" the boo came around and all's swell and dandy. Yay! Oh, I must thank all of you o! LOL. I think the Post helped but I think what did the magic was realizing that his feelings still run deep and that's there's good in me.
     I'm working on myself and I'm determined to be better, not solely because of this relationship but because I've still got very many years to live and I don't want to spend them apologizing for my failings or hurting others...


  1. Only time heals these kinda things....I think. No babe has ever broken my heart, Im gangster like that. lol. babe that I loved die ended up not agreeing for me back in the days, its a long story. I goofed. So I went on a straffing spree....I straffed all the girls that said "hi" to me. I was really hurt. Then time calmed me down.


  2. It gets better everyday.Time heals

  3. Thelma's boo.. God wie bless you! Waa dagba! 😊😊😊
    Thelma!!!!! Thelma!!!!!! You have some explaining to do ooo! You've still not explained the "shaking legs" part! I want to know ooo! 😂😂😂😂
    I'm happy your boo accepted our apology! Bless his kind heart!

    To the heartbreak... Never o!!!! And I beg and pray that it won't happen o! I don't know if I would survive it.

    1. Kabuoy let me help Thelma explain the legs shaking since she doesn't want to. *side eyes* erm Adah, this is for you too and maybe Kene too.

      When someone is sweet and pleasures you even by merely feeding you delish cuisine either through the mouth or any other body openings, you legs can shake! Or your legs can stretch and be still.
      If you want more understanding, stalk Thelma and be a peeping Tom! Lol. Odabo

    2. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
      Thanks cccc! 😍😘

      Thelma! More understanding...😂😂😂

    3. 😂😂😂 not again ... stretched and still legs 🙆🙆🙆 absent seizure ni

    4. LMAO cccc thanks for the explanation. Kabuoy what more can I say nau? cccc killed it jor.

    5. Kene Francis! Y'all won't kill me 😂😭😅

    6. Hehehehe
      Wen someone feeds you delish cuisine, body opening, legs shake, leg stretch, leg still.
      Kai! I believe d Bible passage Dar says I've more understanding Dan my teachers. 😂😂😂😜

  4. Thank God he's back. Keep him happy.
    A girl

  5. It's almost painful reading about your friend's story but I wish I could let her truly know and believe that she will get someone better. She can cry all she wants right now and also cry to God and not let this pain cause her to make rash decisions. Cry and cry to God, hold on to him.
    God always gives better.
    Tell her I said sorry.

  6. Good to know all is great between you and the boo. Wish you guys the very best in your relationship. As for your friend, let her take it one step at a time. She'd be fine. Chrisyinks

  7. She wld be fine. Yh,heartbreak hurts esp when you expect him to fight for u and the relationship but he doesn't.
    Tell her to stay away from love songs,romantic and chick-flick movies. She shld watch alot of comedy movies and keep her time very occupied.
    Time heals all wounds although the memory wld forever be a scar...

    As for Thelma's boo,i see

  8. Yup, once, took me well over 2 years to get over it. I just couldn't move on, I was in pain for months!

    My breakup ritual is, delete all messages and pictures and finally the phone numbers. Then, I'll avoid you like the plague.
    Now tho, I'm more inclined to keep the numbers cos I might need information from your company or industry in the future so.. but I will never ever call you unless it has to do with me needing something from you which is very rare anyway.

    No other person has come close enough to break my heart again like that first guy so, I guess I'm lucky 😊☺

    1. 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

    2. Kabuoy🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄TNHW

    3. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂@ TNHW

  9. When I went through mine, I deleted everything that could remind me of her, but in all time is still the greatest healer of heartbreak

  10. God will heal her heart. Congratulations to you.

  11. T. I think there's a 'good breakup', d kinda breakup dat d parties involved get to talk & agree to disagree. Dat way dey remain friends wt no strings attached anymore, though ds d be rare.

    To answer d question, no matter what it is we do in our bid to get over a heartbreak, TIME I know heals all. So bw WEN u break up and wen u're finally OK, do dos tins dat ll help you forget, pray etc.

    Hehehe, seems u knew I was gon ask aw far wt boo rite under ds post.. Thank God for d makeup. U'll definitely be beta, keep trying hun, but boo shudnt scare you like dat again.

    1. True. But as you said, it's quite rare. Found in 1 in 20 breakups. I've been lucky to still be close friends with one of my exes. The feeling is EPIC!!!

  12. Thelma am so happy for you....As for the posters friend,she would be fine.Tell her to hand out with her friends too,and not the ones that would look at her with pity oh....TNHW

  13. Wow! I can't even begin to imagine what she might be going through. Even though I might not have suffered any form of romantic heart break,I believe time heals all wounds.

    I hope the prayer up there comes through for her and that she finds a reason to smile once again.

  14. See me smiling sheepishly.....Thanks Thelma's hun.




    I wish her joy. Love shouldnt hurt.
    I am just hurting for her. Please send my warmest regards. Tell her this pain will pass.

  16. She needs to cry and cry a lot....
    A time will come when she's going to ask herself why she cries so much! She won't get an answer.
    Then, she'll know it's not all worth a tear.
    So yeah, she needs time

  17. How do people fall in love am 33 n never being in love before how do I fall in love someone please help me


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