Skip to main content

Sasha Bone's Musings: What Exactly Is a "God-Ordained Spouse"?





So Sasha has been having one of her many deep thoughts. My thoughts take me to Adam and Eve and the history of marriage. 

We hear and read on people advising intending couples to "pray for their God-given spouse" but who is ur God-given spouse? Taking a look at Adam, his God-given spouse was custom-made for him. I mean she was even made from his own rib cage. Yet in the end, they got kicked out of paradise/eden and they were placed with the curse of humanity.  

When a couple isn't working well, or maybe end up divorced, people insinuate they didn't marry their God-ordained spouse or that they did pray enough and I'm like wtf? 

We've heard stories of parents who check the "star" of a lady to know if she wld bring their son good luck. Adam didnt have that "luxury" but how cld he and why shld he? God doesn't make mistakes and certainly didn't when he made Eve. Adam and Eve says to me that even if we make God the center of our marriage, the success and failure of our marriage lies with us as the prime participants of the union. You can even marry someone else's husband or wife (whatever that means eg David and Bathsheba) and still make the marriage work. It lies with you and ur spouse.



***
Thoughts?

Comments

  1. *hits blunt* Beht Adam and Eve didn't seperate na. They sinned together so technically they're like Bonnie and Clyde which kinda weakens your point Although Clyde won't snitch on Bonnie as quick as Adam did.

    Soon as God questioned him, nigga snitched faster than Frederico Corleone in Godfather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *pass me blunt* I feel you. But no spouse is sha preordained abi? Then we are still on the right track

      Delete
    2. Lol @Clyde won't snitch on bonnie. Yea I get your point @poster but Adam and Eve were never recorded to have separated. David and Bathsheba well that was because David was rich. I'm of the opinion that anyone who is having anything with a married man will only do so because of his money and to be fair on Bathsheba, David did cause her husband's death. Talk about Chris and Anita oyahkilome now that's a good example.

      Delete
    3. *pass me the blunt* *Puff puff*

      lool @ Adam snitching.

      @Poster. I feel you. Because Eve made Adam sin doesnt mean she wasnt the perfect person for him. Its same with our relationships - Because Tbills squandered Tiwa's money doesnt mean he is not right for her. Because Bobby Brown got Whitney on drugs doesnt mean he is not perfect for her. Because Eminem and Kim always fight doesnt mean they are not perfect lovers.People have to fight to make relationships work irrespective of the set back your partner brings.

      *This blunt is good* *Passing the blunt to Memphis**

      Peace



      Delete
  2. I can only sit here and imagine the sort of comments Sasha's gonna get!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adam and Eve says to me that even if we make God the center of our marriage, the success and failure of our marriage lies with us as the prime participants of the union. You can even marry someone else's husband or and still make the marriage work. It lies with you and ur spouse.This sums it up for me.TNHW

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just here to read comments.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No. I disagree that our marital success lies on us alone. I believe that, even if we make God the centre of our marriage, the success of our marriage lies on how 'in-tune' with God we are. Eve wasn't 'in-tune' with God. She was still being ruled by self, meaning she didn't really know God as well as Adam did (in her defense, chicka was a last-born). Just like the first born would understand the workings of the minds of their parents more than the last born would, that's exactly what happened in their case.
    David was anointed King....I'm not going to use him as a marital example. We all have our failings, but a majority of them can be trumped by the level of activity we allow God to take in our lifes.
    And I agree with God-ordained spouses. We all have that one that has been prepared for us. And don't bring in Priests and Sisters and those who loose their spouses. God has a way a striking the balance and we all must have heard of the saying that he knows what we want, even before we ask for it. This is truer than you can imagine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "...I believe that, even if we make God the centre of our marriage, the success of our marriage lies on how 'in-tune' with God we are...".

      This is the theme of your comment and it is brilliant. Kudos.

      Delete
    2. Lol. Thanks for your apt summary of my comment. ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Delete
    3. Before you started your opinion, you weren't looking from an objective point of view... You went straight at it with the perception (of which you are entitled to) that couples are preordained... From there, my dear, I don't think there was much convincing pointers.
      I'm sorry, I'm not buying.

      First of all
      "David was anointed King....I'm not going to use him as a marital example."????????????????
      There are exemptions?
      "And don't bring in Priests and Sisters and those who loose their spouses"???????????????????????

      Apparently you know these are flaws to your thought process, yet you still want it to stand as valid?

      Dominique? You need some spanking๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

      Delete
  6. I believe there are God-ordained spouses but we too have active roles to play in the success or otherwise of the union.

    The fact that God ordains a union does not mean the couple would have a smooth ride all through. There definitely would be bumps in the form of quarrels, financial struggles, health challenges or even separation. but ultimately, all will end well in line with God's purpose.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  7. Quick questions for the 21st folks:

    1) Is divorce the yardstick for measuring a successful marriage?
    2) Is a man marrying another woman a sign that his marriage with his first wife is successful (since he didn't divorce her)?
    3) Do atheists have successful marriages?
    4) Wld you say Adam was rich? *scratch this*
    6) Do you think Adam ever forgave Eve?
    7) Do you think they were a happy couple outside Eden?
    8) How do you know ur spouse is ur God-given spouse in an arranged marriage? (cos that's practically what Adam and Eve had)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why don't u live Adam and eve out of this. I think it'll be easier.

      Delete
    2. 1)Yes
      2)Huh?
      3)Yes
      4)Wealth didnt apply in his time. He was the only man alive.
      5)Where is number 5
      6)Nobody knows.
      7)Yes.
      8) In that case, God arranged the spouse. No man.

      Peace
      8)

      Delete
    3. My answers to your questions:

      1) Yes, it is a yardstick. Though, it shouldn't and isn't the only yardstick. Happiness level of the partners would be a better yardstick.

      2) Not necessarily. Many men marry for reasons differing from the success level of their initial marriage. I believe in a one man-one woman relationship so when one party has to re-marry, I tend to consider the initial marriage was unfulfilling for the said partner.

      3) Defining a successful marriage is relative. It varies with as many participants are in the marriage institution. It is typical for an African man to include children in his definition of a successful marriage. A white man may have a slightly different perspective.

      4) Kon's answer gives some insight. If I had to answer your question, yes he was rich, he and Eve had the earth to themselves. It might have been cool to live at such a time.

      6) Part of living as an adult is one taking responsibility for his or her actions. It could be argued that Eve incited him to sin against God but the overriding concern is that Adam was aware of the consequences of eating the forbidden fruit yet he and only him decided to eat the fruit. Yes, Eve wasn't the best of spouses but if he held a grudge against her, that is just petty.

      7) it will be hard to speculate on this. Though they lost a son to another son, lived the rest of their lives under a curse, Adam had to toil the ground for food, Eve had to go through pains during labour. It would have been an uphill task for them to truly be happy.

      8) I'd share an incisive perspective a friend once shared with me on choosing the right partner: 'it is easier to hear God on relationship matters when one has heard God previously on trifling and cogent stuff.' Oftentimes, we expect God to just handpicked a spouse for us but in reality, if He did, we may be uncomfortable with His choice. I reckon God sees humans as co-workers in His plan and He'd very much like us to understand His ways and the reasons behind His choices. It is usually easier for us to understand Him when we have trusted Him in the seemingly trifling things and seen at the end why His choice was the best choice. God choosing a spouse for us is just one step, another important step is we ourselves making the relationship/marriage work. This step is equally important and like Dominique wrote, 'how in tune we are with God.' Personally for me, there are just two things I look out for to choose a spouse: a Christian and a passion for a partickler endeavor. I reckon i'd be comfortable with a lady meeting these primary requirements as my God-giveN spouse.

      In an arranged marriage, the dynamics are a bit different. I think God was trying to lay a foundation then, a foundation that now has more participation of humans. For example, in the old times, one had to be from the levites to hold certain positions in the church (much like an arranged position by birth). Now due to Jesus' redemptive act with His death and resurrection, much of those restrictions have been lifted. Many examples also abound that show that arrangement or pre-selection is no more the order of the day. If one is being forced to be in an arranged marriage, pray to God. He surely would help.

      PS: please forgive any typos.

      Delete
  8. That guy in the picture is definitely Deebanj.Dazolaisee

    ReplyDelete
  9. "God ordained" is more like a naija coined words, just like "home grown democracy" in the days of Abacha.

    God doesn't ordain any spouse for anybody, I believe that He got out of that business after Eve messed up and Adam blamed Him for it.

    The success of any marriage, just like many life ventures, is dependent on so many factors, walking with God is just one of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols, didnt wanna add all this before they wld call a shrink and pastor on me.

      This is all im trying to say...

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrรฉe comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrรฉe is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

One More Post...

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa