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Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Sasha Bone's Musings: What Exactly Is a "God-Ordained Spouse"?

So Sasha has been having one of her many deep thoughts. My thoughts take me to Adam and Eve and the history of marriage. 

We hear and read on people advising intending couples to "pray for their God-given spouse" but who is ur God-given spouse? Taking a look at Adam, his God-given spouse was custom-made for him. I mean she was even made from his own rib cage. Yet in the end, they got kicked out of paradise/eden and they were placed with the curse of humanity.  

When a couple isn't working well, or maybe end up divorced, people insinuate they didn't marry their God-ordained spouse or that they did pray enough and I'm like wtf? 

We've heard stories of parents who check the "star" of a lady to know if she wld bring their son good luck. Adam didnt have that "luxury" but how cld he and why shld he? God doesn't make mistakes and certainly didn't when he made Eve. Adam and Eve says to me that even if we make God the center of our marriage, the success and failure of our marriage lies with us as the prime participants of the union. You can even marry someone else's husband or wife (whatever that means eg David and Bathsheba) and still make the marriage work. It lies with you and ur spouse.



  1. *hits blunt* Beht Adam and Eve didn't seperate na. They sinned together so technically they're like Bonnie and Clyde which kinda weakens your point Although Clyde won't snitch on Bonnie as quick as Adam did.

    Soon as God questioned him, nigga snitched faster than Frederico Corleone in Godfather

    1. *pass me blunt* I feel you. But no spouse is sha preordained abi? Then we are still on the right track

    2. Lol @Clyde won't snitch on bonnie. Yea I get your point @poster but Adam and Eve were never recorded to have separated. David and Bathsheba well that was because David was rich. I'm of the opinion that anyone who is having anything with a married man will only do so because of his money and to be fair on Bathsheba, David did cause her husband's death. Talk about Chris and Anita oyahkilome now that's a good example.

    3. *pass me the blunt* *Puff puff*

      lool @ Adam snitching.

      @Poster. I feel you. Because Eve made Adam sin doesnt mean she wasnt the perfect person for him. Its same with our relationships - Because Tbills squandered Tiwa's money doesnt mean he is not right for her. Because Bobby Brown got Whitney on drugs doesnt mean he is not perfect for her. Because Eminem and Kim always fight doesnt mean they are not perfect lovers.People have to fight to make relationships work irrespective of the set back your partner brings.

      *This blunt is good* *Passing the blunt to Memphis**


  2. I can only sit here and imagine the sort of comments Sasha's gonna get!!

  3. Adam and Eve says to me that even if we make God the center of our marriage, the success and failure of our marriage lies with us as the prime participants of the union. You can even marry someone else's husband or and still make the marriage work. It lies with you and ur spouse.This sums it up for me.TNHW

  4. Just here to read comments.

  5. No. I disagree that our marital success lies on us alone. I believe that, even if we make God the centre of our marriage, the success of our marriage lies on how 'in-tune' with God we are. Eve wasn't 'in-tune' with God. She was still being ruled by self, meaning she didn't really know God as well as Adam did (in her defense, chicka was a last-born). Just like the first born would understand the workings of the minds of their parents more than the last born would, that's exactly what happened in their case.
    David was anointed King....I'm not going to use him as a marital example. We all have our failings, but a majority of them can be trumped by the level of activity we allow God to take in our lifes.
    And I agree with God-ordained spouses. We all have that one that has been prepared for us. And don't bring in Priests and Sisters and those who loose their spouses. God has a way a striking the balance and we all must have heard of the saying that he knows what we want, even before we ask for it. This is truer than you can imagine.

    1. "...I believe that, even if we make God the centre of our marriage, the success of our marriage lies on how 'in-tune' with God we are...".

      This is the theme of your comment and it is brilliant. Kudos.

    2. Lol. Thanks for your apt summary of my comment. 😊

    3. Before you started your opinion, you weren't looking from an objective point of view... You went straight at it with the perception (of which you are entitled to) that couples are preordained... From there, my dear, I don't think there was much convincing pointers.
      I'm sorry, I'm not buying.

      First of all
      "David was anointed King....I'm not going to use him as a marital example."????????????????
      There are exemptions?
      "And don't bring in Priests and Sisters and those who loose their spouses"???????????????????????

      Apparently you know these are flaws to your thought process, yet you still want it to stand as valid?

      Dominique? You need some spanking😊😊😊

  6. I believe there are God-ordained spouses but we too have active roles to play in the success or otherwise of the union.

    The fact that God ordains a union does not mean the couple would have a smooth ride all through. There definitely would be bumps in the form of quarrels, financial struggles, health challenges or even separation. but ultimately, all will end well in line with God's purpose.


  7. Quick questions for the 21st folks:

    1) Is divorce the yardstick for measuring a successful marriage?
    2) Is a man marrying another woman a sign that his marriage with his first wife is successful (since he didn't divorce her)?
    3) Do atheists have successful marriages?
    4) Wld you say Adam was rich? *scratch this*
    6) Do you think Adam ever forgave Eve?
    7) Do you think they were a happy couple outside Eden?
    8) How do you know ur spouse is ur God-given spouse in an arranged marriage? (cos that's practically what Adam and Eve had)

    1. Why don't u live Adam and eve out of this. I think it'll be easier.

    2. 1)Yes
      4)Wealth didnt apply in his time. He was the only man alive.
      5)Where is number 5
      6)Nobody knows.
      8) In that case, God arranged the spouse. No man.


    3. My answers to your questions:

      1) Yes, it is a yardstick. Though, it shouldn't and isn't the only yardstick. Happiness level of the partners would be a better yardstick.

      2) Not necessarily. Many men marry for reasons differing from the success level of their initial marriage. I believe in a one man-one woman relationship so when one party has to re-marry, I tend to consider the initial marriage was unfulfilling for the said partner.

      3) Defining a successful marriage is relative. It varies with as many participants are in the marriage institution. It is typical for an African man to include children in his definition of a successful marriage. A white man may have a slightly different perspective.

      4) Kon's answer gives some insight. If I had to answer your question, yes he was rich, he and Eve had the earth to themselves. It might have been cool to live at such a time.

      6) Part of living as an adult is one taking responsibility for his or her actions. It could be argued that Eve incited him to sin against God but the overriding concern is that Adam was aware of the consequences of eating the forbidden fruit yet he and only him decided to eat the fruit. Yes, Eve wasn't the best of spouses but if he held a grudge against her, that is just petty.

      7) it will be hard to speculate on this. Though they lost a son to another son, lived the rest of their lives under a curse, Adam had to toil the ground for food, Eve had to go through pains during labour. It would have been an uphill task for them to truly be happy.

      8) I'd share an incisive perspective a friend once shared with me on choosing the right partner: 'it is easier to hear God on relationship matters when one has heard God previously on trifling and cogent stuff.' Oftentimes, we expect God to just handpicked a spouse for us but in reality, if He did, we may be uncomfortable with His choice. I reckon God sees humans as co-workers in His plan and He'd very much like us to understand His ways and the reasons behind His choices. It is usually easier for us to understand Him when we have trusted Him in the seemingly trifling things and seen at the end why His choice was the best choice. God choosing a spouse for us is just one step, another important step is we ourselves making the relationship/marriage work. This step is equally important and like Dominique wrote, 'how in tune we are with God.' Personally for me, there are just two things I look out for to choose a spouse: a Christian and a passion for a partickler endeavor. I reckon i'd be comfortable with a lady meeting these primary requirements as my God-giveN spouse.

      In an arranged marriage, the dynamics are a bit different. I think God was trying to lay a foundation then, a foundation that now has more participation of humans. For example, in the old times, one had to be from the levites to hold certain positions in the church (much like an arranged position by birth). Now due to Jesus' redemptive act with His death and resurrection, much of those restrictions have been lifted. Many examples also abound that show that arrangement or pre-selection is no more the order of the day. If one is being forced to be in an arranged marriage, pray to God. He surely would help.

      PS: please forgive any typos.

  8. That guy in the picture is definitely Deebanj.Dazolaisee

  9. "God ordained" is more like a naija coined words, just like "home grown democracy" in the days of Abacha.

    God doesn't ordain any spouse for anybody, I believe that He got out of that business after Eve messed up and Adam blamed Him for it.

    The success of any marriage, just like many life ventures, is dependent on so many factors, walking with God is just one of them.

    1. Lols, didnt wanna add all this before they wld call a shrink and pastor on me.

      This is all im trying to say...


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