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#WriteRight. Dominique: When ooo... When?




I started it o. I said I will not marry early. When the girls were talking about what they wanted in life and how to keep a man, I was busy dulling....looking at them like they were crazy. Chai!!! Now see my life. Me that had the longest list of what I wanted my life to be. Me with my lists...and my plans...and my deadlines...and my chykas...and my foolishness. Chaiii!!! Who is now the crazy one? It will not be well with the person that did this to me o. 
It all started 3 years ago when the real suitors started to come my way. (Biko why wouldn't they come? I had it all na....curvy, fair, smooth skin, pointed nose, an amazing voice and a knack for catching fun.) I was the IT-GIRL, so, like butterflies, they came. And I enjoyed every bit of it but I still claimed not to want to settle down (mama said we should not let it show).
Nnamdi was a catch o. Should I start explaining? He was everything I needed except for his aversion towards house chores...but his money made up for it. I didn't mind o. Mess up the house....I'll clean it up....as far as your ATM card is in my hand to do as I please. Abeg who no like better thing?
Then my evil friend, Lilian, now poured sand sand inside my garri. As I was going to see Le Boo one weekend, this babe followed me from Awka to Lagos o. Like FBI agent. For real. She learnt his address and his place of work. How she got him with her fatness and her lousyness still baffles me. Now babe is married to Le Boo and they're expecting child no 2. You see my bad luck?
I just heard that Uju is getting married. Uju that I senior with about 2 years. See how all this small small girls are marrying before me, their aunty. No respect. If I  talk na, they'll say I'm talking. Nnenna married 2 months ago. Ada is engaged. Left and right, back and front, everybody is getting married.
My own is just to be doing Asoebi for people. Is dar one nor curse? My enemies are seriously hard at work. How can I nor have marry at the old age of 23? If is curse, I will go to mountain and break it.

***
23? Oh wow, the marriage pressure is getting realer by the day. I'm hoping in a couple of years 18yr olds wouldn't be feeling pressured to be wifed up!

Comments on #WriteRight posts will be disallowed 3 days after the post appears on the blog. 



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Comments

  1. The sarcasm. Old age of 23 indeed...

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    1. @ sarcasm, very true! Chrisyinks

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  2. Thelma Biko leave her oh...When she wants to get married is her own choice...My own is that make sure you are done with school and have something that brings money home ....TNHW

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    1. Oh no, TNHW I have absolutely nothing against marrying at 23 o! I don't think its too young, I just think it's too early to be pressured.

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    2. On been pressured I agree with u...I have some friends who are only child to their parents who get pressured to marry soon,so that they start having kids which in turn makes the grannies happy....#toeachitsown#TNHW

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    3. @ TNHW

      I usually have an issue when parents pressure their only child to marry early and birth children (grandchildren) under the assumption that they need more offsprings for continuity. I feel it is unfair for such parents to try to live their lives through their children. If they really cared about having children, they themselves should have had more. Chrisyinks

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    4. @Chrisyinks... I think it's just default African parents mentality. In the subtlest of ways, my parents give me the hint too.

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  3. Hi thelma, second time im commenting. The pressure is real oo. Im 21 and im still getting pressure. I've graduated from University and done Nysc. So the next thing is marriage now. God help us.

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    1. Hey Anonymous, first off kudos for doing all you've done at 21. That's impressive. Please, there's a lot more to do and achieve before marriage, especially at your age. I wrote above that I don't think 23 is too young, although i do believe it's quite young. At 21 babes the world is your oyster, please don't let the pressure get to you, please. If love comes, embrace it and see where it goes but marriage should be the last and least thing on your mind. Eeeish, people need to remember that there's a lot more to marriage than the wedding and social media pictures!

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    2. Dear Anonymous, please take Thelma's advice. 21 is way too young to feel pressured about marriage. There are sooooo many things to do, places to go and heights to reach. Right now, the world is literally at your feet. Please dear, now is the time to set realistic goals and work hard to achieve them one by one. If you find love along the way, glory be to God. Embrace it a roll with it but it shouldn't be number 1 now, it should be like number 5 or 6 right now.

      All the very best.

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    3. Thelms. Just clocked 21 a few days ago and still serving. With the rate most of my former school mates are getting married ehn. The pressure no be for here o.

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    4. You allow urself to be pressured... The pressure will always be there but it's up to u to set ur priorities, know what needs to be done n do it. Ideally, a lady should start thinking of marriage at 25-26, well in my opinion. Then from 29-30, get married. I got married in my 30's and I'm so happy I didn't marry earlier.
      Well dats me... All man en own!

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    5. U say wah? Start thinking @25-26? Den marry @29-30?
      I agree 21-23 is somehow early and u shudnt allow urself to be under any form of pressure, but 29-30? I disagree. Not dar u shud throw urself @men once u're approaching d age or start acting desperate or even lower ur standards

      But once all things are equal, 24-25 is kul for me.

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  4. What ya say? Is 23 now the new 33? Did i hear you say pressure? Heck no. Get a job first and let time and chance take its course.

    Have fun, live, love, explore and if the right man comes let him come. I dont get the fuse about marriage these days.

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  5. Hehehehe!!!!! The pressure is real o.....from all fronts. Very very real.

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  6. The pressure is real...I can totally relate..I'm barely 23 but all around me are people as young as me or even younger getting engaged...mothers don't even help as they remind you that all the people that got married the same year as they did have given out all their kids..of course it will start as play play na till they start dropping hints like 'by 25..my daughters should be married..or 'mee osiiso Ka ha bia butere anyi mmanya biko'..I just tire..I feel like I'm growing up too fast. .wasn't it just recently that I wasn't allowed to talk about men as they are distractions?? Poster abeg..don't let the pressure get to you.too many marriages are breaking these days and I believe the frequency would be greatly reduced if people didn't rush into marriage for the wrong reasons..and that list thing is outdated jur..enjoy your single and build yourself..meet people,make friends..don't see everyman as a potential husband for you...err

    There are many lilians everywhere o..waiting for whose men to snatch..I avoid people like that abeg...these kind of people would want to know everything about your relationship life and you would think they actually care when they are looking for ways to occupy..

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    Replies
    1. So much sense! Spot on πŸ‘Œ

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  7. I concur with habibi. Achieve something. Find that thing that gives you inner happiness

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  8. Theres no age where a woman should feel pressured for marriage. Build yourself woman! That even makes you more apppealing. P.S. if you can be homely too, thats a winner.

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  9. Abeggi. There is no AGE when a woman should feel pressured to marry. Build yourself girl! That should even make u more desirable. If a man comes, GREAT!

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  10. Hmmm.... The pressure is everywhere back and forth especially when ur frnds are getting married and ur mum thinks you are already matured enough.

    Sugarvie

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  11. Why you allow the plump bae take Le boo naa?

    But wait ooo, is marriage now an achievement? Please there's more to life.

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    Replies
    1. Some men like them big o. Ifubegi ife. Lol

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  12. I can claim as a man to truly understand the pressure that ladies are under to get married at a young age.
    Owing to their biological make up and age dependent hormonal variations and how the typical African society and culture look at them.

    But I do know for sure that just as failure is most probable if you are overly anxious while writing an exam or executing a task. So are mistakes inevitable when you are too anxious to make a phenonomenal life changing and happiness dependant life decision such as marriage..
    Both for women and men.. Anxiety leads us take decisions we might most probably regret.

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  13. @obinwanne...lol...but at that age u should be in sth serious... Do u want her to grow grey hairs

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  14. Africans have a mental disease, a female of the 21st century shouldn't be bothered about marriage even if the pressure is present. Contribute to the universe and it will gravitate forces to you.

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  15. While most women are focused on marrying a rich husband. I'll rather take my time to be a rich wife. Kilode why would people feel pressured into marriage. The truth about early marriage is lack of understanding of what marriage is all about. Others might argue that they do but alas why must it seem like a competition, I wonder!...

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    1. "While most women are focused on marrying a rich husband. I'll rather take my time to be a rich wife" This right here is the statement of the day! 1000 likes!

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    2. What does that mean? U plan on staying single till ur rich enough to be wifed up? Interesting...

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    3. Sasha bone πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      I just love you!!! 😍😍😊 it's amazing how you manage to pick the direct opposite of what any comment implies. You're just wonderful πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. Lol. Interesting point of view. Badass point you made.
      You girls had me rolling....lmao

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  16. This is the reason why sad marriage chronicles and divorce rates keeps increasing every day.


    All I know is that NO ONE will pressurize me into anything,it will happen at God's appointed time for me.

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  17. There is no need to rush in oh...marriage is a for better for worse thing. So take ur time n make d right decision @d right time.

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  18. Pressure everywhere. ...igbo kwenu! !!

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  19. I've done a thousand and one asoebiz, I've attended a zillion weddings, my classmates and coursemates are getting both engaged and married, but do you know what? I'm soo indifferent to them all.
    There was a time every wedding I attended was just pointing to me aw not ready I am/was, I told my friend dar d more I attend weddings d more ion want to marry, d kinda look she gave me b4 saying it was d reverse for her was enof to tell me aw absurd I must ve sounded. Though thankfully, ion ve dat feeling anymore, maybe bc d right tins &d right persons are happening to me now, but dar word PRESSURE is nowhere near me.
    I think it's Wat we believe in & set our minds to dat influence our susceptibility to pressure, and of course, family too. Thank God for my parents, dey ain't even mentioning d word marriage near me and I know I can't mention it too till I'm done with Skl, plus le boo also agrees we shud ve all d fun & take our time. So for me, it's Skl, and building my career for now, and flexing tite of course 😜.


    But Kuddy o, I hope it's not my own Ada dat inspired dar fictitious Ada up thereπŸ‘†. Hehehehe
    Nice write up hun, my 'Chimamanda'in d making. πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ‘Œ

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    Replies
    1. Hehehehe! Baby girl, you came to mind while writing it. Love your point of view jare. Flex tite biko.
      And I just heard Le Boo....you're hiding him ba? You want me to do a Lilian on you she???? LolπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

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    2. You're welcome hunnay!!!😚😚😚

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    3. Hahahahahahah u say Lili wat? U sure know I can synthesize acid myself, plus I know where d conc ones are kept in d chemistry lab. So beta ve a rethink.
      He has to remain hidden for now abeg, b4 d Lilian kinda ladies ll pull same stunt on me, but I trust him sha. Give it time, he'll surface u hear?

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    4. Hehehehe. Oya be hiding him. You never jam people wey get PhD for Liliology. Better tell your friend o so she can help you in guiding and protecting le boo.
      No go prepare and pour person acid o. The payback no go be here. Use your practice for goodπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

      Delete
  20. Lol....this post had me in stitches and i never expected 'the old age of 23' part. Hahahahaha


    Lovely write up Dominique.

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  21. If the pressure to get married gets to you...I wonder how you will survive if your first child doesnt come on time (God forbid) Thats when you will know real pressure.

    I think these babes are the ones putting pressure on them selves. Its all in your head.

    Peace

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  22. Pressure everywhere. ..igbo kwenu! ! !

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  23. Alaebo Lotanna Kite8:46 pm, August 15, 2016

    Hmmm... So many takes... First is that age isn't a factor at this point in her life... It is actually more relating to her kind of person than being 23 and unmarried... Not like I'm making fun of anyone, but I know a few who are above 26 and are not unnecessarily perturbed about not being married... But the emphasis is on unnecessarily

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  24. Pressure on a 23 year old tovget married? The story didn't tell whether Dominique is already employed and can fend for herself. Today's marriage is no longer adoption as was the case during our grand parent's era.

    Pkay

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  25. Get married when the need arises, but being pressured by your own self is you doing your own self a disservice.
    The sarcasm with the age at the end just explains how u see the situation but for the sake of controversy and more comments, it did work in your favour. Well-done

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  26. Get married when you are ready ...When you have the maturity it entails to handle marital situations , you are emotionally and psychologically ready to take the plunge and not because of age or pressure .....very interesting point of view and nice writeup @Dominique

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  27. The poster is a huge joker.... Pressure#nothing

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  28. In as much as the pressure is real. I think there should be a sef evaluation as well.
    God created us all in different ways and i am sure the purpose for us all living is fulfilled at different God-given times.
    In summary, do a self evaluation. Do not be moved by what is happening around you. As long as you know that one man is not in your life yet (even if he is and you both are still in a working relationship), develop yourself and make sure to achieve all you want to so that when marriage comes, it will count as one of your many achievements in life.

    Most importantly, we should pray to God to give us that life partner at his own time. 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. It is all numbers. What matters is what you do and what you achieve in a lifetime.

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  29. It looks like you are the one putting pressure on yourself to get married by comparing yourself to others! Seriously?? 23??

    You get married now under pressure and divorce in 5years or so.......Or you get married to the right man at the right time and remain married till old age....Which would one prefer???I wonder!

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  30. Thumbs up Interesting article

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  31. There's no hurry in life even those that are married are wishing they had not and prayed they have all the time we had now to chose the right partner it's a lifetime institution no need to hasten things up and end up displeasing urself..Think twice Think wise

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  32. Marriage is a matter of will and readiness, not force and nervousness. No one should be 'dragged' into marriage by whatever cause. You marry at your definition of 'right age' and you may end up regretting such decision. You marry at 'the' definition of 'right time' and you're blessed with a gracious marriage.

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  33. I see so many familiar names in the comment section.good publicity akudo, abeg u will find me 2k when u win. Nice fiction story btw.

    Zuggy.

    ReplyDelete

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