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Thursday, 18 August 2016

#WriteRight. Iyanu: FIVE REASONS I’LL RATHER NOT WALK IN LAGOS





I’m thinking of a good punch line for this but I can’t think of one, I just know that the fitness people say walk. Walk to your bus stop instead of taking a bike, walk to your friends place, and walk to the market. But who walking epp abeg? Here are five reasons why I’ll rather not walk in Lagos.

1. CLIMATE CHANGE: I’m definitely sure I’m not the only one that has noticed the “can melt heat” in Lagos. As such, before you even walk 5 minutes you’ll be sweating like a Christmas goat and a threatening headachewill be in sight. No, thank you.

2. LAGOSIANS IN CENTRAL PLACES ARE VULGAR: So who here has had the Opportunity to walk across Yaba, or Mushin, all those places with plenty mechanics or traders? Who here has had the opportunity to hear those thick accent shout “ Fine geh” “ Come let me suck you” “You set well well oh” “ My daughter” all accompanied by very lewd stares and arm dragging? I’ll rather not.

3. NO WALKWAYS: And if you’re not careful, the maniac okada driver can just hit you like a tennis ball, straight into the gutter!

4. LONER STATUS: It’s common knowledge that walking is much fun when it’s with someone, but when you live, eat, breath and walk around yourself, what’s a girl to do?

5. TIME CONSUMING: When you’re as lazy and impatient as I am, with a love for indoor spaces, the only thing not time consuming is whatever you’re doing in the comfort of your house, or office, or party. This means you want to get out of the road as soon as possible and walking is too slow for that. 

Who here’s with me?


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I'd like to say I'm with you but I do love to walk, then again it all depends on where in Lagos one is walking... 


*Comments on #WriteRight posts will be disallowed 3 days after the post appears on the blog.*

12 comments:

  1. Hahahahah @ "come let me suck you"

    Learn to enjoy the comedy in the comments, thick accent and funny ways of the peeps on the streets.

    On the contrary, Lagos is not always hot. I think Lagos is hot only 4 or 5 months of the year. We have alot of rain and then Harmattan in Dec/Jan.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. For a summer,August has been pretty cool. I get those cat-comments too and sometimes I literally laugh out.
    I do a lot of walking and I mean a lot! But it's fun for me cos 1) it's exercising and 2) I've meet some cool people along the way...lol
    I'll miss walking cos I'll be getting my automobile very soon (epp me say Amen with faith)

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  3. I totally agree with you iyanu, but still, I so love to walk really, especially with my ears plugged listening to music and at the same time taking Note of my environment.

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  4. Walking is fun naw. You get to soak in the environment and depending on the weather, appreciate better the cooling effects of nature's breeze. You do have valid points though. I guess for guys walking is less distasteful.

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  5. 😂😂😂
    "NO WALKWAYS: And if you’re not careful, the maniac okada driver can just hit you like a tennis ball, straight into the gutter!"

    You don't know the half of it!!! What I have experienced in the hands of those crazy okada men ehn!!!! Chai!

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    Replies
    1. They think it's their right you leave the 'walk'way for them.

      "you no dey hear horn?"
      "Na you get road?"

      They are just heediats... I think keke has joined the crew now

      Delete
  6. Come let me suck you!!!!??? Now thats new to me o

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  7. Not a lagosian so....... But who walking down EPP sef!

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  8. Lols Lagos is like one of my least favorite places for the reasons above+more.The first chance I had,i lit out. Good write up Iyanu

    ReplyDelete

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