Skip to main content

#WriteRight. Mr K: Spare The Rod





...and spoil the child. This was my father's mantra, it goes to explain why proverbs 13:24 was among the first bible verses I committed to memory. He'd  read it out on every morning devotion as though he was seeking some sort of divine backing needed to discipline me with 'the rod'. So when I say he is an ardent christian dad, you should know how religiously he practicalised that bible verse.
Now, I wasn't particularly a bad kid (or maybe the rod gave me no chance to find out) neither was my little sister, but we were perpetual customers of the rod, and for the slightest of reasons (at least from my judgement). I was flogged for momentarily dozing off during morning devotions, arriving late to church for sundayschool, and on one occasion for taking 3rd position in my primary school(Yes you read that) and I hardly mixed with my peers. Sometimes I'm driven into introspection and I wonder how my life has been affected by the strict upbringing ... the suppressed social life, boringness and reclusion ... and although my years in the university has brought me out of my shell, the rod shaped my adaptive years.
When I recount my mistakes and decisions in life so far I can comfortably settle for a son like me and I feel inclined to rely on what worked on me to work for me, handle my kids the exact way my dad did, or more? I mean it's tested and trusted. I know people who grew up with no knowledge of the rod, very disciplined and worthy of emulation and I ask, does it mean that there is a way around proverbs 13:24? The whites come to mind. Can I spare the rod and not spoil my child? I wouldn't want to be a hostile dad but I'm sure that there are no infallible kids so how do some parents do it, spare the rod and and still save the child?
***
Oh wow, to think I had this debate with someone on Facebook a few days ago... Mr K I'm going to repeat what I said on FB. I believe in using the rod, but I believe in doing so with love. I think the kind of discipline you experienced was a bit excessive but hey, you turned out great! LOL. On behalf of your future children I'm BEGGING, please do not do it that way. There are actually other methods of discipline and some are more effective than the rod. I'd posit that the rod should more often be resorted to when other methods have failed... I'd stop here, I'm curious to hear what blog readers think. 
Guys, we're you raised with or without the rod? Did you think that helped in shaping who you are today? Do you (intend to) spare or use the rod with your children, and why? Let's talk about it. 


*Comments on #WriteRight posts will be disallowed 3 days after the post appears on the blog.*



.

Comments

  1. Hmmm. Nice write up. I share the same story with the writer. And I must confess that the rod shaped me into a better person. While it wasn't fun at the beginning, I can genuinely look back and be grateful to my parents for not having spared the rod.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A balanced approach is needed in child discipline. On the one hand, it good to discipline children out of necessity, so that children do not go out of hand. On the other hand, strict rules have to be done in a manner that does not allow any abuse of authority by the parent.

      Occasions do arise when children need to be disciplined, even to the extent of employing corporal punishment.

      I usually advise that corporal punishment shouldn't be an option save it's the last resort and it should be done with love and only when highly necessary.

      ***
      Connect with Muslims from Nigeria, Africa and arround the world here :

      naijamuslims.blogspot.com

      Delete
  2. Spare the rod has done more harm than good. Sometimes, children know that you will just beat them so they prepare for the beating. That doesn't mean spanking is totally ruled out. It shouldn't be done at the slightest misbehaviour. I spill water and I'm spanked, I break a plate unintentionally...and all those silly excuses to bring in that passage.

    When it's done with meaning and you prove that it's for correction and not victimisation, they'll "value" spanking.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice write up.

    My dad believed in ...spoil the child but my mum never believed in that thus from my till now my parents has never used a rod on me and my dad is proud to say "he is my son" especially now that am a pharmacist.
    *smiles

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lol...my advice to every unborn child is... Make sure you're not the firstborn if your parents believe in the rod (esp not Mr K's firstborn..this one he's already threatning fire n brimstone ��)...
    It will be sweeping narI mean.. I was a better child than my siblings are now (or so I thought), but my parents wasted their youthful strength on Mee... I was literally scared of my dad..
    Mee, having a cane is one thing, using it is another... I intend to have but I'd have to be pushed to use it..

    ReplyDelete
  5. I grew up like the poster too,but this time around my mom did the beating..should I say it shaped my growing up,hell yes..Now that am a mom,I sometimes spank my four years old..Now when I say spank,I don't mean with a cane or stick oh ,I gladly do it with my hands...should I say he learns his lesson...Hell yes..TNHW

    ReplyDelete
  6. Despite the hot rod used on my Chairman growing up...yet den u ws so recalcitrant and always fighting. ....upto my jss1. ...I guess that was wen the purpose of the rod came to me and till the present day. ...my life has bin a testimony. .....praise d lord....bt from my experience I think a beta way has developed in my imagination waiting for wen my kids will come

    ReplyDelete
  7. I believe in not sparing the rod but not using it frequently. Also, I believe using the rod does not work for every child. The trick is for one to understand what works for and on each child. For some, the only language of correction they understand is to spank them while for others, talks which appeal to their soul do the trick.

    Know your child and what works for him/her.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  8. I fink sparing d rod n advicing d child z d best cuz u might end up impinging an injury on d child, which might b complicated n in some cases lead to death.i suggest parents should avoid beating their children n leave it for God to intervene..u cn beat dem sumtyms bt nt all d tym

    ReplyDelete
  9. My primary 6 teacher changed the cause of my life with a cane. That woman caned me out of 16th position downwards to first 5 in class. Even as an adult when people describe me as very smart, I thank the woman in my heart. I thought I was just the average student, never counted myself as one of the smart kids.Who knew cane can bring out the best in you.Yes, I won't spare the rod, I detest spoilt kids

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO from 16th to first 5th. What else is there to say? The effectiveness of flogging can never be overstated. I might not have been flogged so frequently as the poster but the times I tasted it provided the desired effect. I'll stick with it. I'll have to use my discretion. If your wrongdoing deserves flogging you'll get it but if it's milder, other forms of discipline might be employed

      Favour

      Delete
  10. For me it was mixed... Dad never uses the "rod" but mum was an expert! Then as a kid, the fear of "mummy's rod" was the beginning of good behavior lol. But in all, she used it with so much love (I realized this when I became much older). In the same way, am gon use it with a lot of love on my kids too....it helps reset kids to factory setting jare!
    To Mr. K, sorry for all those days of prov. 13:24.

    Beautiful write up though.
    Lemme gwan do advert in class WhatsApp. But wait! How come Cj and Frank got here before me?

    ReplyDelete
  11. For me it was mixed... Dad never uses the "rod" but mum was an expert! Then as a kid, the fear of "mummy's rod" was the beginning of good behavior lol. But in all, she used it with so much love (I realized this when I became much older). In the same way, am gon use it with a lot of love on my kids too....it helps reset kids to factory setting jare!
    To Mr. K, sorry for all those days of prov. 13:24.

    Beautiful write up though.
    Lemme gwan do advert in class WhatsApp. But wait! How come Cj and Frank got here before me?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Honestly though, the rod thing doesn't work for every child.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great piece Mr. K!

    I think that verse of the Bible could also be taken figuratively rather than literally. Primarily, the verse emphasizes the need for discipline and not necessarily physical discipline. Or maybe, my perspective on discipline is warped by my personal experience. Discipline by the rod was commonplace in my growing years and for the larger part of my secondary school days, it was usual for me to always have to endure some form of physical discipline. Of course, the floggings were enough to correct me from my erring ways, but, it also created a measure of fear in me and affected my development. Looking back, there are many situations which I believe I would have heeded correction if the gravity of my mistakes were explained rather than beating it out of me. I believe if one canes a child, usually, the child heeds one's correction for that mistake; but if one talks to a child and explains the consequence of such bad actions, the child understands better his/her actions and can apply that understanding to many other similar scenarios.

    I have had the opportunity to also care for children and younger ones and I strongly believe that one can raise an equally good child without having to resort to the rod as a means of correction. Practically, within the Nigerian setting, I reckon that the rod still ranks as an easy and effective method to effect necessary discipline. A good compromise is to have one parent play good cop and the other, bad cop.

    I intend to raise my children without the rod.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think flogging is indispensable. I was flogged and I know how it helped me. Most kids that grew up without being flogged tend to disrespect their parents from my observation. Personally I'll spank my kids if the need should arise, but that will be with love and caution.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Errr... hasnt it occurred to yall that 'the rod' = 'punishment'

    And not necessarily ass whooping. The idea is to make the child know that for bad behavior there is a consequence and with time he/she will get the hang of it. Its the same thing with adults, take away legal punishments and the society will be in chaos.

    So...it doesnt have to be cane. But I wont lie, cane sends the message faster. I used to tell my kid to go face the wall in the corner and he will start crying. One day I shouted at him and sent him to the corner, the boy got there and was laughing. lol.

    We can use cane. But lets use it with chill pill.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Rod" is an object. Cld be and not limited to cane,rod,belt,twisted hanger, shoe, pistle, koboko, peppered cane, ruler, fist (which includes blows,slaps,ear twisting,knocks,kicks, etc)

      Are all the above really necessary to "discipline" ur child?

      Delete
    2. Like father like son... Lmao. To think he was really laughing though. I will smack his ass!

      Delete
    3. see punishmentπŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™† ... go face the wall. You are a lenient parent.

      Delete
  16. in my father's words, some children are for The rod, some for advice and some for both... my 2nd brother is The one who listened on advice, my 3rd brother is The one for the rod(though it seems like he gets more stubborn) but as for me, even up to my age, my parents still interplay rod and advice... and its helped my life so far... and the same principle I would use for my kids

    ReplyDelete
  17. in my father's words, there are categories :the kids that obey by advice only (immediate younger brother), those who obey by the rod only(my second brother) and those who need the both to be better.... ME... true... and it's made us all better... I would put that to my kids

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't believe in using the rod on anyone or anything. If God almighty has stopped strikingly sinners literally like He did,I see no reason why parents can't figure out other means of disciplining their child without literally using a rod...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful perspective! I have been trying to wrap my head around this analogous instance - God wanting the best for humans yet refusing physical discipline when we err and oftentimes either showing us our wrongs or allowing us suffer the consequences; and how we can take a cue from that in parenting our offspring.

      Delete
  19. I was flogged just five times all through my growing up, yea you heard right, even my mum says it all the time that I was the only one who didn't incur the wrath of her rod and that's because naturally I hate being flogged, so I avoided anything that could make me Incurthe wrath of my mum's rod, My mum usually tells I and my siblings that am the only one who didn't stress her, I was an introvert naturally as a child, you would never see me go against any rules in the house even as a toddler, My mum says she feared I was an old lady in a child's form, the last time she ever flogged me was at age ten and I landed in the hospital because she really dealth with me, it resulted into malaria and the rest. My point here is, if you study your child and see that he or she needs the rod to be shapened then do so but with love, I remember my mum would always give my siblings times two of the food she would usually not give them whenever she flogs them and she would stylishly apologize and make them see reasons why they had to be flogged and we all turned out well and still turning out well, that's why she didn't blink an eye lid when situation warranted me moving out of the house as a teenager.

    ReplyDelete
  20. To me, the 'rod' involves 'punishment'. As a kid, I was among those who would prepare myself before a whopping. But talking to me always got the desired effect.
    While I believe in that Bible passage, I believe it should be with wisdom and in love.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's easy to say u will not spank or use the rod when u don't have kids yet. Just wait till u have kids, then I like to hear from u then...

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's easy to say u will not spank or use the rod when u don't have kids yet. Just wait till u have kids, then I like to hear from u then...

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was definitely raised with RODS πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    I'll be back with my own sub-write up on this post! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    I have 20 years experience πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  24. My upbringing was quite rodfull, mom's rod in particular. Dad ddnt ve to use d rod always, can count only 3times, but I was more afraid of him dan I was of mom. Hearing his voice alone was enough to reset my factory settings.
    Now, albeit dat(d rod) helped a great deal in shaping me, there shud really be a way around ds rod. I'll find ds way & together with the rod, bring up my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My dad was an ardent believer of dat statement. It's tnx to my mom dat I still have my bom bom intact.
    Using d rod is not bad, but there need to be some moderation. Even a little kid can be taught to take responsibility without using punishment

    ReplyDelete
  26. For my folks,spare the rod ain't gonna work.i remember being punished on regular occasions for not dressing my bed after sleeping or playing on it. Now I not only dress my bed after sleep but sweep and make sure the room is well arranged till date. On the other hand, I couldn't stop beating up my peers when provoked due to anger issues I had back then and for that I was seriously spanked,though that part of my life now is history. The truth is that it all depends on the child and subject matter at hand. On a general note it helps to an extent in a child's upbringing. I can't claim to be 100% a son my folks wanted but to a rating I know the right doings from wrong on the note of several corrections.it is a beautiful piece dear and wish to discuss it in my book "the journey " yet to be published.As an aspiring dad to be,i will definitely use it (the rod) if need be but with love and care and not hatred as cited by sugarvie. Thanks Sanctity6@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. My own experience growing up was hell (atleast it seems so then) mum was the one always using the 'rod'and it made me fear her ehn...my dad was the all advice type and believe me you would cry after the advice session(lol).But then I would use the 'rod' on my children if and only when it's necessary as I wouldn't want my own children to grow up being so afraid of me anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  28. #CommentRight
    I grew up in a loving but almost military-like environment.
    My father is a disciplinarian and he strongly believes in Not sparing the rod. Like Mr. K said... That was sort of like his divine backing for all the times he beat the hell out of us.
    Sunshine had her own fair share but I must say I took the lion share of the beating in that house. Ranging from slaps to pankere to belts and even punches. I don't think sunshine ever graduated to the punch levelπŸ˜‚
    For things as little as not returning change as insignificant as N10 Which was termed as the beginning of stealing, or talking to a boy in broad day light, or drinking ice water, or not walking fast when being sent on an errand or not answering a question like your dad would expect you to, or not finding something you were told to look for in the room or using the wrong adjective to qualify your father(eg terrorist πŸ˜‚) or just looking Morose. I can go on and on.... Endless list. Simply being beaten at the slightest provocation(most of the time)

    A lot of people felt we were going to rebel and not turn out well because my dad was too strict... But here we are! 😊😊😊

    My kid sis on the other hand... Sometimes I worry about how she's gonna turn out. By the Time she came along(she took standing as per BRT bus), my dad was already calming down so there was less beating/correcting.
    The stunts this babe has pulled ehn... Sunshine and I would never in a million years have thought about it not to talk of executing!
    Just before NECO, she came back to tell us she has been de-boarded for 2 weeks! Me: What?!!! 😳 what did you do?!
    Kid sis: they beat up a junior girl but I wasn't there
    Me: How did your name find its way into the list
    Kid sis: *shrugs casually* *continues eating amala*
    Me: 😳😳😳😳😠😠😠😑😑😑😀😀😀

    That was not exactly the scene by something like that... Infact she did not even understand why it was such a big deal and why everyone was making a fuss out of it! And so many other things she does lackadaisically and i'm like "did we grow up in the same house???!!!"😳

    It made me rethink my stance on being liberal and sparing the rod... I'm beginning to think my dad has been right all along.
    I am really grateful to God and my parents for who I am now... How I turned out I know all those beatings somehow helped shape me into who I am now.

    But like Thelma said... Correct in love.
    My dad corrected me in anger several times,
    Sometimes transferred aggression . I wasn't blind to it and that's why it hurt more.

    My take is study your children... Take sunshine for example... She didn't need to be beaten to fall in line... But me on the other hand.... Lots of kicking and screaming πŸ˜„
    Know their temperament and what works.
    Some need to be spanked from time to time(in love) some need to be punished by whatever means... Some need to be scolded... Some just need to be spoken to.
    My friend Eunice was always surprised at my stories. Her parents never beat her as a child and she turned out alright.
    So basically, know your children and pray for wisdom 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never wanted your response to end πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Our homes are similar. My dad was clearly hot tempered and it reflected when he disciplined me.I can't also forget when I got a dirty slap for not delivering a message properly because I was kind of timid then. Yes, from that day I consciously tried to supress my timid side but was the slap really necessary? was it not just a message? #sigh

      Delete
    2. I really enjoyed reading your comment. Chrisyinks

      Delete
    3. Rotfl @was d slap really necessary? Was it not just a message? Lol Nkenu wu military training πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘·
      @Kabuoy be like ur younger sis needs dar rod more. You were right though by saying kids are to be watched &followed up accordingly.
      But ehn! Dat 'in love' shud be in capital letters bc sometimes it just seems as if d intention is to kill u, wen to u, wat u dd doesn't even warrant d beating. Seriously, I grew up questioning if my mom was my biological mother bc d message all dos beatings passed to me was of hatred. And my mom wasn't d type to tell you sorry or try to indirectly placate u for the beating, she can even starve u on top. Mtcheew.. Seriously, I wudnt want my kids to have a similar experience.

      Delete
    4. My dad and your dad, 5&6. When I saw the "drinking ice water" part, I smiled. The reasons may not be the same but mine was that, me being a chronic asthmatic while growing up, I was forbidden to even taste ice water or cold drinks. 80% of the time I did that, I had an attack. And when ever I had an attack, instead of boss to find solution, he'll descend on me with so much fury because I "must've taken ice water". I also thought I'd grow up really hating my dad too, but that didn't happen.

      Delete
    5. Very funny.I was flogged, punished, canned however you put it and Im proud of how I turned out. On that note, I'll surely use the rod on my kids.

      Delete
    6. @Anon... Mehn... I totally believed my dad was not my dad. I was even bold enough to ask my mom 3 times. She was very upset the 1st time and I didn't understand whyπŸ˜„ I do now.
      @Memphis... Can you remember 1naira ice water in white plastic bags years ago. That's the kind my dad caught me drinking one faithful afternoon about 15years ago.
      I thought he was going to kill me that day. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ as far as I am concerned, it was the beating that gave me typhoid 2weeks later not the water.
      He even beat Sunshine sef. For "letting" me buy it knowing fully well she couldn't have stopped me 😏

      Delete
    7. LMAO @beating gave u thypoid.
      But u must ve bin a daring kid to ve asked ur mom. I was just dealing with the whole thing inside me o, ddnt ask nobody. I even nursed d idea of running away from home @some point, but na me still admonish myself particularly bc of school. At least I was wise enough to know I needed to go to Skl first, den after graduation, I'll den elope.

      The whole thing really affected my relationship with people, though I'm getting over it now but not completely yet.I just bless God I ddnt end up wt ds complex thingy, was quite strong(psychologically & emotionally) rite from childhood. Reasons y I agree wt NURTURE having d upper hand Dan NATURE.
      LEMME STOP HERE JARE, I THINK I SHUD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT MY UPBRINGING, AND WAT PARENTS SHUDNT DO.

      Delete
    8. Oh.."Ice Water", hahaha. I remember. It used to be N2 in Abeokuta then(2000) when coins were still relevant.

      Kabuoy you wee nor blame him na. He doesn't want his precious to catch *okirikpoto* drinking water Dora hadn't approved. And sunshine sef...letting your sis drink what she doesn't understand. You deserved the brain reset. Lol.

      Delete
  29. A balanced approach is needed in child discipline. On the one hand, it good to discipline children out of necessity, so that children do not go out of hand. On the other hand, strict rules have to be done in a manner that does not allow any abuse of authority by the parent.

    Occasions do arise when children need to be disciplined, even to the extent of employing corporal punishment.

    I usually advise that corporal punishment shouldn't be an option save it's the last resort and it should be done with love and only when highly necessary.

    ***
    Connect with Muslims from Nigeria, Africa and arround the world here :

    naijamuslims.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. I feel for my guy here, i experienced somethng similar while growing up. My mum was a regular margaret thatcher when she was dealing out punitive measures, but i think emphasis should be on using d rod wt love. I think i turned out alright sha
    Well mr. K use d rod, but prudently.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I was not flogged as a child buh my mum made sure she gave me a brain resetting knock anytime I tried to be stubborn... Got to a time I actually thought I had a brain tumor due to softness of d area

    ReplyDelete
  32. I have been laughing uncontrollably after reading this piece, it reminds me of the best actor and actress I hated while growing up. my case and that of my siblings were special with exception to my kid sister who never met the actors at their prime
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha; kikikikki( pulling my self together)
    ehe..... in their usual language
    ' am back,' .............silence
    who messed up today........silence
    anybody?............silence
    why are u guys not talking( imaging a kid being called 'guys') ............
    chigozie!!!!!!( with a loud voice)..... sir
    how was today........fine sir
    and the dialogue continues till you reveal your wrongs or skim your way out.
    there were good days and bad days as my parents played good cop and bad cop.
    A week without d rod was a miracle back then and as I gradually developed a Carmel skin. nevertheless, it paid off as I and my siblings were the envy of our pairs . (well mannered ; by force)
    we learnt to love the rod as a means of correction and a way of life.
    for me and my kids to be , the rod will be determined by what is acceptable in my environment and not by core African methods.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Brother the rod is SACROSANCT, very important but should be used only in extreme cases.. A good counsel and loving advice can get the job done sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
  34. ......and spoil the child, not my fav verse back then as a kid , the rod worked simultaneously with my dad's mood ;his hungry expect the rod , his nasty boss !here comes the rod . Theres a fine line which parents overcross unknowingly thereby tilting from admonishment to a routine habit of spanking not acknowledging the fact that there are other forms which are much as effective as their stereotyped correction formula hardwired into them by the parents before them

    ReplyDelete
  35. Using d rod in a loving way is very necessary in child upbringing. In my case, my parents way of using d rod on me was nt tru flogging but by depriving me of way i njoyed d most. It hlpd to shape who i am today

    ReplyDelete
  36. I can remember my mum spanking my ass or my dad flogging me when I get extremely uncontrollable. It has made me a better person with life principles. The rod shouldn't be spared but should be used with caution or without abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I can remember my mum spanking my ass or my dad flogging me when I get extremely uncontrollable. It has made me a better person with life principles. The rod shouldn't be spared but should be used with caution or without abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Sure the rod is good as a never ending means of correction to this young generation.. It modeled me unto the man I am.. My mum and Dad were teachers.. No need to gist the full story.. for me... I ll definitely use the rod on my kids when it is necessary..

    ReplyDelete
  39. I feel that the rod should be used when necessarry. But there are other ways to discipline a child like depriving the child of things he or she likes. advice and counselling can also do the job.

    ReplyDelete
  40. The rod shd only b applied when necessary, moderately n with love coz u don't wana raise up kids with Inferiority complex due to excessive flogging and shouting... Nazy

    ReplyDelete
  41. When an Edom woman uses the rod on you, then you will know the truth, and it shall set you free.

    My elder sister saw 99.9 from my mum. She was really "roded"
    As for me, I begged my Dad to take me to boarding school just to avoid my mother's "rod" .

    Discipline comes in many forms. Beating your child
    Like anew animal sends the wrong signals and causes a lot of mental harm.

    The problem withnour parents then was the unnecessary brutality they used when using the rod.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I went to a boarding skl o, JSS1-SS3. And I wasn't spanked anymore from my Jss1, but d spanking I got from mama in my pri skl days was enough to make me hate her. Kai

      Delete
  42. When an Edom woman uses the rod on you, then you will know the truth, and it shall set you free.

    My elder sister saw 99.9 from my mum. She was really "roded"
    As for me, I begged my Dad to take me to boarding school just to avoid my mother's "rod" .

    Discipline comes in many forms. Beating your child
    Like anew animal sends the wrong signals and causes a lot of mental harm.

    The problem withnour parents then was the unnecessary brutality they used when using the rod.

    ReplyDelete
  43. When an Edo woman uses the rod on you, then you will know the truth, and it shall set you free.

    My elder sister saw 99.9 from my mum. She was really "roded"
    As for me, I begged my Dad to take me to boarding school just to avoid my mother's "rod" .

    Discipline comes in many forms. Beating your child
    Like an animal sends the wrong signal and causes a lot of mental harm.

    The problem with our parents then was the unnecessary brutality they used when using the rod.

    ReplyDelete
  44. "Flogging a child is our parents way of deciplining a child and its the best way ." THST s so cliche.!! !! I dont subscribe to dat trash besifes it u train ur child properly, u wont need to resort to decimating ur childs skin under d guise of discipline. I think such parents like mr. Ks, have a secret perverted fascination for causing pain.

    ReplyDelete
  45. The tale of the rod is a tale of seeming sadness and perpetual joy, the human child is a primordially selfish and basally conceited being hence the indispensability of the rod for reconstruction and repurposing to a more beneficial entity to him/herself and the society, my experiences might be similar or worse than that of Mr K but the truth remains the rod makes a person neva let go of beneficial values or lose focus

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Onyeka ibiakwa

      Delete
    2. Kasin Onyeka..... Pls not here! Lwkm

      Delete
  46. The importance of d rod cannot be overemphasized... It has had positive effects on me... Its still having effects on me. Rod is not limited to the physical cane we see... Words of reprove could still serve as a rod

    ReplyDelete
  47. Frankly I don't support the idea of REGULARLY flogging a child to correct him/her. I think discipline should begin first with some admonition. The rod should only come in OCCASIONALLY where and when other disciplinary measures have failed.

    I personally can't remember any of my parents using a cane on me and I can't say I turned out too badly...I'm not the best either. But being an adult now surrounded by so many little nephews and nieces I've come to realise that the 'rod' is a must have at some point in time...first is a good scolding and a serious warning...next is to kneel down at a corner for at least 15mins...after these and a few other punishments...then I whip their butts or palms and instill the 'fear of God' in them. This usually keeps them under control for quite some time...

    ReplyDelete
  48. In a typical African home its rare to spare the rod and till save the child...folks, the 'rod' is so essential in the upbringing of a child.. Truth be say, true parents are those that finely blend the 'rod' with their words of love. I would stick wt the rod but wont depend on it.. Nice one Mr k

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ozav, av always know u like the "rod" method... Just dnt kill ur kids. Lol

      Delete
  49. My dad didn't spare the rod at all at ,for my mom it wasn't only rod ,it was anything available ,it helped me a lot and am going to do the same to my kids ....tiana

    ReplyDelete
  50. When Jesus said I am the bread of life, it didn't mean that we were to literally look for Jesus and eat him. So when the bible says "spare not the rod", I would think that the rod represents a form of discipline not necessarily an actual stick. The bible said discipline is for the beloved child so in essence the 'rod' actually means discipline for a loved child and not a hated one. If it's not done in love, it's not discipline anymore.
    So in conclusion "sparing the rod" entails not correcting a child in love when he/she needs to be corrected,being liberal with the child or allowing misbehavior on the part of the child, but one thing we should bear in mind is that discipline doesn't seem pleasant at the time to who is being disciplined but afterward it produces good results.

    ReplyDelete
  51. having known you for more than a decade now, you are about the most qualified person to lecture on this topic. I strongly agree with this rule, because 23rd century will still have it necessary.......

    ReplyDelete
  52. Very nice write-up.Most times,the use of the rod spoils the kid thought would have made him an angel upon the rod.This happens when the kid is ignorant of the reason behind the father course of action making the kid view the father as unnecessarily being wicked or enjoys the use of the rod.The kid would do the right thing only in the presence of the father whereas the kid is real bad.However,some kids spoils if the rod is spared.I would prefer the combined therapy as at when necessary that is what to offer the kid whether rod or no rod depends on desired end-result and the nature of the kid.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Reading people's accounts here is saddening, to put it mildly. The irony of it is people thinking they turned out alright, so it must have worked... *next generation of beaten children loading*... I'm being mindful not to use the words "brutalised", "abused", "violated", "battered", because it was done in love, apparently, but that is doing nothing to allay the worries I have for the next generation and their battered skins.
    Please, people, your children don't only come with nociceptors -they have brains too. Talk to them, for crying out loud! And if that doesn't work, research other disciplinary measures that don't inflict physical pain.
    This is a horrible culture we have that needs to stop!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrΓ©e comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrΓ©e is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

One More Post...

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …