I have never said this out before even though our relationship is not a secret, my friends know him, his friends know me and I even get more acknowledgement than his wife sometimes. I'm not bragging about that, the point i'm trying to make is that it's no secret. But I am sharing my story on thelma thinks because I can go anonymous. For the sake of the post I'll call bae Biyi.
I've dated Biyi for three years, it will be three years in November and we are planning a vacation to mark our anniversary. He's the first and only married man I've dated and I met him when I was in a relationship that I thought was leading to marriage. Unfortunately my ex turned out to be a fuckboy and we broke up. I was experiencing severe heartbreak, went into withdrawals, lost weight, constantly getting queried at work for poor performance etc so when I noticed Biyi's persistence I decided to use him to rebound and it's the best decision I've ever made.
The reason I'm writing this is that people need to stop looking down on mistresses. God created men to be polygamous so it is only natural that sidechics and mistresses exist. They always have and they always will and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Once upon a time I felt guilty about dating a married man but that was before I noticed that the same people who judge you do even worse things. Also my conscience is somewhat clear because I'm not a homewrecker, Biyi loves his wife and is a responsible husband and father and I have never stood in the way of that. Contrary to what people think, most mistresses do not want to break up the home or become his wife. I personally think that being a mistress is a lot more interesting. We get to have all the fun, we get to travel a lot, go shopping, enjoy great sex, get spoilt and pampered, and we have all our needs taken care of, emotional, sexual and most importantly financial. And guess the best part, we are not saddled with the responsibility that comes with being a wife. Wives, we don't want to marry your husband, we don't want him to leave you for us, we don't want a home or family with him so please don't have a heart attack. Just stay in your lane and we'll stay in ours.
I know I may receive a lot of judgements for this post but the truth is that so many people that will read this are either dating a married man, or have done so at one point in their life or the other. I'm not a bad person and I never intentionally decided to date a married man, but the truth is that I cannot blame myself. Ask anyone who has dated a married man, they will testify that they treat them better than any single guy, and it is not just about the money. Single men these days think they're God's gift to women and don't bother to woo a woman, they chase you for two weeks and if you're not game they move to the next one, even when you're game they date you and ten other girls and don't care if you know or not. Most of them expect you to take care of them, and the worst part is that they expect wifely duties from you when they're not even doing anything to better your life. Married men for some reason make better boyfriends and lovers.
I'm sure many of you will shout KARMA KARMA but guess what, that shit is fake. So many girls who marry as virgins or never even dated a married guy still get cheated on by their husbands. My BFF was a virgin when she got married but guess what, that year they got married her husband toasted me and promised to take me abroad if I agree for him. I told him off and threatened to tell his wife so he left me, but now he is dating another friend of ours and he is a well known dog. I work in the health sector and I see married women with different STDs and even HIV, and I know a few that their husband is the only man they ever slept with.
Speaking of STDs I think Biyi's wife should even thank me, Biyi has the potential to be a womanizer which he was before we started dating. I'm aware that he had many casual sexual relationships and he and his friends even used to swap chics and have orgies/threesomes (sideeyes at Unilag & Covenant girls) but all this stopped when we started dating. I cannot swear that he doesn't sleep with anyone else but but it very very highly unlikely. I keep him in check, I do regular tests and disease free unlike the skanks he used to shag and I make sure that he gets home on time and doesn't do any unnecessary late night hanging out.
I'm not doing this to hurt anybody but my happiness is paramount and for as long as Biyi continues to love me, I will remain in this relationship and enjoy every moment. Unlike a lot of you Nigerians I'm not marriage hungry and I'm not in any hurry to be a Mum. Biyi, my job and my family are the most important things to me in life right now. So don't worry about my future and don't bother asking if I don't want my own husband, I'm perfectly fine as things are. And before you judge me you better know that all sin is sin and God does not love you more than he loves me. Goodbye.
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