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Thursday, 29 September 2016

Before I Sleep...

I'm sure everyone thinks I'm crazy. First, just like they said he would, he left me for someone else, someone better suited for him, someone who met his family's approval. And although it took him five years, he finally left me. 

What you need to understand is that it didn't come to me as a big shock. Bolade has been my best friend and my everything for the last five years, but I knew the second his mind began to wander. 

Everyone thought I should curse him out, everyone expected me to hate him. People were waiting for the tears, the bitterness, the baleful, angry ex-girlfriend memes on my social media pages, but I disappointed them. Many thought it was just an act but the truth is that I didn't hate Bolade. I dont know what I felt, really. Just some cold, empty vacuum. Numb. 

Anyways he proposed to his smallie. Did it hurt me? Hell, it nearly killed me! I was so broken that I couldn't leave the house for days. I avoided everyone and I started smoking again. That was the only thing I could ingest. I couldn't swallow a morsel of food. All I could do was puff on my Dunhill switch and quench my thirst with vodka. 

It wouldn't have been so difficult if people weren't so evil. I know it made them feel better about their pitiful lives to kick me when I was already down, but I couldn't fathom why they had to be so mean as so tag me on his engagement photos on Instagram. Like, "yes Nwando, just in case you didn't know, here are the pictures. Look! Your man is wedding his woman πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚"

Few weeks later I heard they were planning to get married at the end of the next month, barely five months after they started dating. I heard they were planning to wed in Seychelles or Spain or Sardinia. I wasn't sure, some S place sha... I wasn't privy to the details of that gist as I'd moved on with my life and was working on a project in far away Durban. 

And yes, life goes on. 

Durban was beautiful that time of the year and work was good. 

So you can imagine the shock I felt earlier tonight. It was past 10pm and people rarely ever came knocking on my door, especially at that hour. But certain it was the housekeeper bringing me a fresh towel, I opened the door and came face to face with Bolade. 


Yes. In the flesh. All 6.4" of him, broad shoulders, bushy brows, shaggy hair and all. What was he doing here in South Africa? And how did he know where to find me? And what was he doing in my room????

"I'm sorry Nwando. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but remember that people make mistakes". There was a catch in his throat as a tear slid down his left eye, and then he went down on both knees. 

"Babes, I never stopped loving you. In my moment of weakness I gave in to my family's pressures. I let myself think we were better off apart. I've never been more wrong about anything in my life... Please... And this time around I don't want to be just your boyfriend. I want to be your zzzZzzzzZZZZZ"


LOL. Ok guys. At that point I dozed off. Err, let me explain. 

Whenever I'm about to sleep, I never just close my eyes and sleep. I first have to day dream or fantasize or whatever. I took a nap earlier and this was my daydream. Actually sha, this Bolade character forms the plots of most of my daydreams these days *covers face*. 

So what kind of sleeper are you? Do you just shut your eyes and varnish into dream land? Or do you, like me, think, wander, dream while awake?

Whatever the case is I'm curious, what's often the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep?

Is it a fantasy? Money? Work? Sex? Anger? Memories? Fear? Business? A loved one? 

Whatever. Gist me!


  1. This made me laugh so hard. Thought I was the only one that does that. I can't sleep without telling myself a story. My dream life.... wish one third of it will become a reality.

  2. I can totally relate... there is nothing my mind doesn't wonder about: my dream mansion with fleet of cars, my cute chubby kids playing around, with the cutest hubby ever, many many things, i cant even begin to mention.
    Its just so funny how u are not alone on all these things...

    1. This is so with my successful business or career.boss woman.with husband that adores her and vice versa.we spoil each other and embarrass people with our love.esp d wnt kill meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  3. I sleep off as soon as my back touches either the backrest of a chair or bed, nothing on my mind before sleeping off. No day dreaming, no thinking, usually too tired to have it any other way.

  4. why do i have to impress my sleep by dreaming or fantasising with my eyes open? the stress is too much joor. when i want to sleep, i shut my eyes and Sleep. That easy.

  5. Wow, Thelma, dis is why we luv u! I tot it was real joor.

  6. I fantasize about sleeping- like a Tylenol induced sleep for two days this is right before sleeping knowing fully well my masams can wake me at anytime

    1. Tylenol induced sleep? D Tylenol I know or anoda one? WEN dd paracetamol start inducing sleep Bikonu? Educate me pls
      But lemme laf first while I wait πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ
      Just being naughty sha

  7. 90% of the time, my head is blank before I doze off

  8. If I don't sleep as soon as I lay on my bed, my mind is usually filled with thoughts of what I need to do the next day or as soon as I wake up. Intermittently, when I dream or have to fantasize, the theme is more about a desirable future...wife, children, career, public service and a few other things.

  9. Just like you thelma, i can dream, fantazise, imagine and fabricate all sorts.

    On the days I am very broke, i would inagine saving the life of a very very stupendously rich man/woman 's only child from an accident.

    The rich man / woman would then thank me profusely and ask me to name 5 thubgs i wanted.
    The main part is deciding what i want...lolz

    I find it difficult to fall into or drift into sleep. So i entertain my self or strategize on my goals. ...

  10. Thank God I'm not alone on this. I always fantasize before sleeping. In fact, it's one of my coping mechanisms when life decides to happen.


  11. Especially when life decides to happen. .. It's Γ€lways thoughts and more thoughts.

    These times I'm usually on one Movie or TV series or the other until sleep takes me to my 'real' world. Cos I don't even know which is which anymore

  12. Anytime I start fantasizing before I sleep it means I won't sleep on time, I have written many award winning novels in this state lol.Happy Sunday everyone

  13. Good to know am not the only one.



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