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#BlogReaderAsks. (Will I Love Him Forever?)

My first love got married this weekend and my heart is broken. I haven't felt this kind of pain since we went our separate ways 5 years ago, my chest hurts from the pain and I have no idea what to do.

This relationship was the best I ever had, I loved him with everything I had, it was my first real relationship yet he didn't exactly ask me to be his girlfriend, we just kinda talked and talked until we were so close it was more like a relationship. He became my best friend in the whole world, my confidant, adviser, mentor, etc. I still don't know why it ended but it did and he moved on with a girl who was his "friend" just 3 weeks later. That alone tore my heart to shreds and I was unable to do anything with myself for almost a month. I remember that time like it was yesterday, I just went thru the motions daily - wake up, do my chores, go to work, work till very late, come home, and sleep, everyday for almost one month. I lost weight, life lost its meaning and everything around me was just gloomy. I deleted his numbers from my phone, deleted our texts, unfollowed him on facebook but kept him on twitter.

For a very long time, we didn't communicate, I moved on with life and started building my career. I honestly thought I was over him but if I would finally admit and be true to myself, I have thought about him, EVERYDAY for the past 5 years. I can just walk by a place that reminds me of him, infact, I worked somewhere for 2 years where one of my colleagues looked exactly like him, (that colleague became my favourite person in that organisation), I would hear someone say something and it would remind me of a conversation we had or how he talks.

Every once in a while, he messages me on whatsapp to say hello, I'm usually cool and respond to all the questions with monosyllabic answers so as not to drag it out cos I sorta knew he was still unavailable. Some weeks ago tho, he messaged me again and I didn't respond in the usual way, I decided to have an actual conversation and we started chatting every night. We'd chat even at work and then after work till way past midnight then one of those days, he told me he was getting married to the same girl, the friend from that time, and I realized that although I had told myself something different, I was still holding out hope that we would get together again. I told him the next morning that I couldn't chat with him everyday anymore and that I had to move forward and stop looking back. He apologised and that was the end. That was two weeks ago.

I saw the wedding picture on facebook today and the pain in my heart right now confirms my fear all along, I haven't stopped loving this guy. Even though I have had other relationships since we parted ways 5 years ago, I have not come close to loving anyone as much as I loved him.

I currently have the best boyfriend in the entire world, he loves me and would do literally anything to make me happy but I don't love him as much as I know I can. I know how my heart sings when I'm in love but my heart doesn't sing for my boyfriend, talking to him feels more like a chore these days, I'd rather read a book. We've been on and off for 2 years now and I know he loves me but I just can't, it's like something in me is broken and I can't fix it. Yet, I don't want to break up with him cos who would stay with me with all my craziness? Who would see all of me with my big flaws and many many short comings and still choose to stay with me. I don't want to be an old maid. My plan was to be married at 26, I'm 26 already but I'm not in love.

I need to stop loving this guy so I can move on with my life and love other people, I have tried everything, hating him, anger, the silent treatment, nothing has worked. And trust me, I hate women like myself who have a good man and yet are stuck on some ass hole somewhere who doesn't give a rat's ass about them but I can't seem to move forward.

I desperately want to love again. I want to see my boyfriend's call and be excited and smile from the bottom of my heart with genuine happiness. I want to love and be loved but I just can't bring myself to love anyone again with such reckless abandon. I don't know if it's fear or I've just exhausted all the love I have in me to give anyone. These days, my work consumes me, I work everyday of the week whether I have to or not just so I can fill this emptiness inside. I don't want to sit at home on weekends and just mope, I don't have any friends either.

The funny thing is, I always thought only people in sexual relationships were stuck on their exes like me but this guy and I only kissed once and that once doesn't even qualify cos it was really awkward and I was nervous as hell the whole time.

Guys, I honestly need help. Will I love this guy forever? Or will I get over him one day, it's been 5 years and I'm still heart broken. Will I ever love someone as much as I loved this guy? Or have I just not found the right guy to love?

Your honest advice will be appreciated.


  1. Stop crying over spill milk. Move on my dear. Why desiring someone who does not want you. He has moved on period. If you like cry from now till God comes, it will change nothing. Even if the wife dies today, (God-forbid) he will not marry you. Keep playing difficult lady to that your guy you hear. You will soon see his own wedding invitation card on Facebook. The door is permanently closed stop banging at the door,You are hurting your hands and emotions.

    1. You are obsessed. He didn't even ask you out! You only semi-kissed once. Good Lord Child!
      A girl

  2. Yes. You will love him forever. Even if you think you have stopped loving him, a phone call or the sight of him will bring back all the feelings.
    No. You will never get over him.
    No. You will never love anybody this much.

    So...whats the next move? You have lost him. Just move on with your life. You might and you might never love anybody again. Who knows? All Ill say is - dont marry the person you dont love (Until may be you are 40 years and you just gotta settle)


  3. It's a pity how the people we love don't feel exactly the same way for us. Very obvious you are still into this guy all because you haven't been involved in another real love relationship. Please get over him and keep moving on disprogram that mentality of how it was with you guys. That is past let the future lead now. Love is waiting for you out there just turn and look.

  4. I know what's doing you. The fact that he moved on so quickly hurts ur ego. What you need is for ur current boo to either cheat on you or also break up with you. That way you wld knw if u really feel anything for ur current boo as u do for ur ex.

    It is well...

    1. SPOT ON! i just love this Sasha bone... #no homo. womwen always take too much love for granted. the guy should do anyhow n watch how u'd b all over him.... young lady MOVE ON!

  5. Sweerie!!!!. Give yourself a good slap to reset your head. O boy done marry...He is gone. If you can afford a holiday, Pls go with your besto(Girl), get silly, goofy, and drunk. You will feel so much better when you get back. Pls stop chatting on Whatsapp with him, you only hurt yourself more. This your Bobo that loves you, abeg face him,build your relationship, Abi you no wan marry?. I ve been married for 7years, and I did not love him when we got married, I thought i was in love with one useless Bobo. My eye for see pepper if i married that guy. I still have a fondness for the useless Bobo, but I am happily married. Console yourself with the thought that God saved you from that relationship. Tcare and from Woman to woman, you will be fine.

  6. You want to love and be loved!! Its easy, start loving ur current bf since he loves u so much... why are u wasting the love u have on someone that has moved on long ago! I am tempted to call u "STUPID" but I wouldn't as so many pple both men and women can be stupid when they r in love. So u are not alone dear poster.
    Pls wake up, dust urself and live ur life, u are still young...

    1. I agree with this perspective.

      I strongly feel Love is as much heart matters as it is committed action. True, you'd still feel some tug in your heart when the memories flash back, but you can counter it with a committed action to your current partner. With increasing commitment to your current partner, your previous love will be a distant memory. The heart has its unique capacity to heal and love again.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


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Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

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I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.