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Saturday, 24 September 2016

Dear Thelma (My Fiancé Is Losing Interest, What Should I Do?)

Please I've been dating my bf for 5years now. We are planning our wedding against december. I love him and he loves me too but presently i think his love has diminished as he has limited all communications with me to just pleasantries or when he needs to find out something. I've tried to find out where the problem is to no avail. When i complain he's nonchalant and says nothing has changed to him and this is just the new him or that he's just busy. It feels like I am the only one making efforts to communicate. Initially it was quite a bother to me but now I'm getting used to the new way of life though I'm still a bit bothered as this is not what i want in my home. I'm just so confused. I know I'm not alone in this. Anyone experienced this before? How did you handle it? Pray tell. Thelma please can you make this a post. thanks


Hunny I think it's only your fiancé that can tell you what's on his mind. But whatever it is, please find out before December. They say a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage, and they're right...

She asked if anyone else has been in her shoes? Please what would you advise?  


  1. Thelma's response is apt...I'd further advice that the best you can do is create a welcoming environment that would induce the necessary and needed communication.

    Also, I'd look out for Kon's comment on this matter. Chrisyinks

  2. "...this is just the new him...".

    "...just busy...".

    For someone who's about to get married in 2 months giving these excuses for lack of adequate communication, it's really weird. Don't buy these excuses and find out what's really going on before it's too late.

    Stay blessed

  3. Try to sit him down and talk to him or confide in an older relative. Pray, wish you luck and don't give up yet and don't think of a broken anything for now.
    A Girl

  4. 'don't think of a broken anything for now'

    Five years... Someone like me with short attention span, my dear I can relate to his actions. I'm sure this would mean he's cheating on you or doesn't love you anymore.
    Some guys can be unromantic, I'm not saying you should get used to it but just put that into consideration as well.

    My opinion? He still loves you.

    My solution? You guys can go out on dates and outings. Romantically themed weekends.

  5. Is this poster my friend B 🤔🤔? if No then my opinion like I already said is...

    have a calm talk with him, no quarels or attitude when speaking to him.

    do not bring the option of him walking out if he is tired, if he wants to chicken out let it come from him. no wager.

    he is probably developing cold feet which is somtimes normal. some people feeel awkward when the marital tights draw near. you begin to ponder if truly you are making the right decision. either partner freaks out at the slightest/smallest issues. summary ...cold feet. some are lucky to have hot vibes all the way though.

    bobo is probably seeing some new things passing around him (seeing i didnt say dating) which brings me to the temptation and distraction part. now he may be face with, i see me some hot *hibicus flower* why go for *rose*. all i am trying to say is PRAY. no apologies if i get a little spiritual, the Evil one is never happy when two individual come together to get things done right. when marriage preparation comes in the Evil springs up, so sweetie i urge you to raise a standard above you life and walk that Evil out. indeed there is Evil in this world.

    please and please at this last days, always look good, smell good, be the most attractive thing to him. Dress to conquer. I wish you well.

    1. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘

    2. habibi b***k, guess we r many in this situation. lols. poster just calm down, put everything in Gods hands and trust your boo. was in your situation(or still is) but trust me his is purely work. hes a workaholic like that n shuts down sometimes which gets me extremely worried. i think am having a better understanding of the high n low moments and how to cope. it wasnt easy at first but am a stronger person now. you need great shock absorber for this kind of trials when u get married cos it would resurface so start developing it now, learn how to enjoy ur own company . who 4hrs on the phone epp? when d attention is there enjoy it, when it reduces manage it. it would def go back to normal. have a great marraige ahead! kai! writing is not for me...

    3. hey girl! so after we spoke and you confirmed this post indeed wasnt from you, you still have enrgy to come drop comment abi...kontinue.

      let me help you spill, you forgot to tell the poster you had you introduction that seemed almost a traditional marriage party over the weekend abi, you people should keep privatising your lives and asking Thelma to share inugo. The same way my sisi had her wedding in april and did not even invite kabouy of life.

      am outa post mbok.

    4. i just re-read your comment. nne so you dont want to confess that 4hrs on the phone epp you abi? when Le boo was in the US for a while the calls didnt help? yea right.
      you that even made several weekend trips to catch up. leaving people like me wondering of you bought your ticket on OLX.

      take ya time.

    5. blink you are just a yeye person i swear, Congrats to cccc on her "wedding in April" your marriage shall be a blessing, it already is. ok! 4hrs phone calls epp but on days i dont get it i wont kill my self and start thinking the worst. why did i reply you sef???? #mtsheeeeew!

    6. Waaaaat?!!!! 😳😳😳😳😳 what am I reading here????!!!! 😳😳😳😳 cccc got married and we dinnoh hear!!! 😳😳😳

      Congratulations cccc!!!! Blessing upon blessings upon blessings in Jesus name. Your home shall be heaven on earth. Love, Joy unspeakable, peace, laughter, unity and wealth shall not be strangers in your home in Jesus name.
      Congratulations once again.

      Strong Notice:
      You are forgiven for not telling us about the traditional wedding. We await news of the White wedding. Im available for little bride or flower girl position. I don't want to struggle with habibi. She can have the Chief Bridesmaid position. I dash her beebee 😂 Lool.

  6. Something is definitely wrong somewhere. If he isn't giving you attention, then he sure is giving it to something else that could be work or another relationship. Try to investigate.

  7. This is my current situation, to make matters worse someone else is on my heels at the moment.I just feel like running far far away. I don't even know what to do or think anymore. I wish he would just talk to me :(

    1. Awwwwww, take it to God in prayers. he would talk to you. inugo


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