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Pastor Chris Oyakilome, If Husband Means MASTER Then Wife Must Mean Slave, Right?

So many thoughts, so many emotions. But all I can say is it must feel really great to be a man!

Whether you agree or disagree with him, please tell us and tell us why. 

Topic: Who is a HUSBAND and what is His Role?

Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master.

The reason for most problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form theirs. They believe they are equal partners.

If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their marriage and they will be very happy people. Most women have never been taught by their parents, their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they think he is another woman.

In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union, its important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is where you are wrong. He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and his needs.

When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. The Bible says, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.

When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly. Why did God make the woman?

Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve, He said in Genesis 1:31 ‘Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good’. God made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.

Genesis 2:18a ‘And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..’ The Bible didn’t say ‘lonely’ but ‘alone’. There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b ‘…I will make him an help meet’. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him what to do.

I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man achieve that responsibility. If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.

I tell people that you don’t need a marriage seminar, you need the Word Seminar. Let me tell you, no husband wants another mother, he has had one all his life. He doesn’t want an older sister, he probably had one.

Your secret is in obedience, your secret is in listening to your husband, your secret is in doing the things that please him. When you don’t do the things that please him, you take the role of a mother or of an older sister.

A man loves the one he serves (God) and the one that serves him (a good wife). He fights the one that wants to be at the same level with him (a rebellious wife).

To be happy in your family and home is the easiest thing in the world, just take your role. Take your place. That place that God gave you is a beautiful place. Its a place of peace. Its a place of love. It’s a place of excellence.

Every wise person listens to wise voices (advice) but he listens to a wise voice that is presented wisely.

Everyone rebels against the voice that is trying to make a fool out of him. When you want to correct your husband, don’t lord it over him,present it as a wise suggestion. Humble yourself and be smart.

A wise woman will always be an influence to her husband, the foolish one will always annoy the husband, make him mad, make him angry and when you make him angry, you will be the victim. Learn to listen to your husband, practice it, tell yourself that you are going to do it because that is where your beauty is.

Once you stop listening, your beauty evaporates. You wonder why you are dressing and he can’t see it, he doesn’t remember your last hair style. Beauty is in obedience. That’s where the Glory is.


  1. I haven't seen slave in the text, so where did slave come about? This is very very correct.. Majority of successful marriages I know or have come across are based on these principles, and that's it going by Gods word is 'it' for me in marriage.
    U see, with men, what u give is what u get. Wahala women will continue to see wahala in their marriage!!

    1. Dictionary definition: Master.
      a man who has people working for him, especially servants or slaves.
      "he acceded to his master's wishes"
      synonyms: lord, overlord, lord and master, ruler, sovereign, monarch, liege, liege lord, suzerain; More

      My dear, that's the dictionary not me. The word "slave" did not have to be used, yet that's the primary inference from the post.

      We have been told he is the Head. We agreed. He is your King. We agreed. He is the Captain and you're a deckhand. We agreed. Now he is Master. Hmmm... I wonder what's next.

    2. So docile women are the ones in happy marriages? I laugh in Spanish. Are they not the ones getting beat up and abused by their husbands? No man will disagree with this post, and some weak women will agree too. Nigerians cannot think for themselves, I cannot understand how anyone can take this man seriously on this topic. Where is his wife? What happened to his marriage? Jesus led by example and modern day pastors need to act accordingly. Please when will they start telling men how to be better husbands? This bullying is getting too much.

    3. Anon 8.22am, I like that question, 'where is his wife? What happened to his Marraige?'

      The unfortunate part about it is that you are using it to back up your argument. Just think about that question again... Tell me if you still wonder why she's not with him anymore. There's that undertone inferring even to his own marraige.

      'Jesus led by example', Jesus in his infinite wisdom knew not to even entangle himself in the institution of Marraige. He didn't come here for that. So that's not really a punchline.

      And try not to look into this situation from the stand point of 'taking sides', it's way too complex than that.

    4. U don't need to wonder Wats coming next... some of us already call ordinary boyfriend not even husband names like "my everything", "my heart", etc.
      A good man will never treat his woman as a "slave". But dat doesn't stop him from being her Master or wateva name. #no one should judge anyone based on their opinions, we all should know what works for us in marriage and abide by it. Wat matters is our happiness afterall...

    5. "...Jesus in his infinite wisdom knew not to even entangle himself in the institution of Marriage..."

      Uyi Omoruyi of Edo State Nigeria. Hiiiaaannn!! I know the Bible to you is just like any other you o. But biko..BIKO..try and spend more time reading. This your statement..anyway, lemme just hold my peace.

    6. Ah ahh. Thelma. Calm down. The post is not inferring anything concerning 'slave'. It is not compulsory that a master has slaves.

      Jesus is called Master. Are his followers slaves? Martial arts teachers are called masters, are their students slaves?


    7. Kon you did not just write that. Jesus as a master had and still has followers, or have you not heard about "servants" of God?
      Martial arts teachers have students adhering to their every rule and devoting to learning so as to become masters one day too.
      Am not in any way supporting the inference of slavery that Thelma said but a master must have some1 under him! There must be a form of submission if the word 'master is there which is not a horrible thing. Submission is not slavery neither is it foolishness. He's your husband not a total stranger or just any man, its your marriage not the society's! Really there is nothing to drag here O!

    8. Oga Memphis is Ibo land... No vex

      Is there a part I missed in the Bible where Jesus Christ got married.
      Please enlighten me, everyday of my life is another day to learn.
      I'm sorry if I come to u as someone who knows the Bible that much, I really don't.

      So I'm all ears boss.

    9. Lol. Exactly Uyi. Cos last I checked, Jesus didn't get married.And he didn't speak too much on marital issues. And even the few he talked about, our Bros here has defaulted.

  2. "For the husband is head of the wife, just as CHRIST is the head of the Church, HIS BODY, of which HE is the SAVIOR. Now as the Church submits to CHRIST, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything". - Ephesians 5:23-24

    The Church is referred to as CHRIST's BODY, HIS Spouse. One with HIM. See how HE treats HIS Spouse:

    "Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in Heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in Heaven" - Matthew 18:18.

    Whatever decision HIS Wife takes, HE logically has no choice but to tag along because HE's ONE with HIS Wife. That's how a real Man "heads" his wife, when both make decisions that they both agree with instead of the man having monopoly of decision making and the wife is condemned to "listening".

    Telling us that GOD considered Women as an afterthought, like "Oh, dude, you're alone? You need help", then BOOM...Rib--> WOMAN. Lol. Of all the plenty jazz I (couldn't believe I) read, this one really raised my eyebrows.

    1. Memphis?
      Quoted the Bible and inferred totally in the other direction.

      You know what, I think we as Christians should just concede to the path perception. Each one to his own.

      One thing should always stand after all, NO ONE IS A SLAVE. HUSBAND OR WIFE.
      I certainly don't think Pastors Christ's words were to the advent of slaves.

    2. "...inferred totally in the other direction...". Lol. Maybe you read something other than what I read. One of the most ridiculous things anyone would say is implying that, during creation, when all things were perfectly created, the ONLY afterthought GOD had was "Woman".

      "...Making woman was not God’s original plan...". So what was GOD's *original* plan in Creation? Sun Moon & Stars? Tell me o, because I'm now confused. Adam and Eve were created the same day; sixth Day. On the 7th Day GOD rested. Then someone says Woman wasn't in the *original* blueprint and you wanna defend that crap? Wonderment!

    3. Me I'm not defending anything... I'm just on the path of perception. I certainly think you are not well read or versed in the Bible and Christianity at large than Pastor Chris.
      That being said, who am I to argue really?

    4. Lol. This shows that you're willing to accept any kind of interpretation of the Scriptures from a clergyman simply because he's a clergyman, and laymen shouldn't question them in anyway. Did I hit bull's-eye?

    5. Almost there, but you didn't. Came close though

  3. Lol,when it's marriage, they begin to quote bible. Don't atheists have successful marriages?

    Successful marriages are what the participating couples make it and not what Adam or David or Solomon did. Wld he encourage marrying 700 like Solomon did because he wants to quote the bible too?

    That fruit of knowledge Eve ate is what is making all daughter's of Eve have sense and speak against injustice. I heard Adam didnt swallow his own that's why he has an "Adam's apple"

    1. Its about the principle, not necessarily about the Bible or religion. The principle of knowing who the head and knowing the helper. Atheists can adopt the principle too and have successful marriage. But in the Christian community the message will be passed with the tone of religion, I believe thats understandable.

      Wait. Did the fruit really give women sense? Im confused. And everybody knows the fruit Eve ate is Adam's D or the serpent's D. One of them. Women! SMH! lol


    2. Hahaha Sasha me sef tire for the matter.

      But really tho, what are men and women struggling for??? Selfishness is truly the root of all these 'ndoro ndoro ochichi!

    3. Hahaha. So Adam ate his own D or that of the Serpent? He must be Gay

      As for the "principle",who defines it? You can't be using a "principle" in a relationship. Marriage isn't a barracks. This is 2016 not some BC era. If u or ur wife isn't happy in the marriage, I believe that marriage is a failed one (whether there's a divorce or not).

      I still maintain that the only principles of marriage is the one acceptable by the participating couples in it. Marriage has no fixed formula. Whatever floats the boats of the involved participants is all that matters...

  4. The use of master to address the men might sound harsh or impose so much superiority but from the above piece I don't think he meant that. My only problem is that whenever I read these things about women being submissive to their husbands, they never fail to leave out the part where husbands must love their wives as their own bodies. Seeing that love is the greatest commandment of God, more attention should be paid to love than to the master-servant role.

  5. You guys need to look at the substance of the message and dont be quick to criticize it. The man made sense. Yall women need to chill.

    But I agree that another important lesson is to teach men how to lead. If we have good leaders and good followers. Then we have peace.


  6. Reading through the article and the one thing that came to my mind is heresy. Selectively quoting verses from the Bible and making inferences to bolster a pre-determined stance is just fradulent and misguided. Even this same Bible remarks that we as Christians are co-heirs with Jesus Christ and the marriage institution is modeled after the church.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. Lol. I take advice from people based on the success they've exhibited in that particular aspect. If you've failed, well, I'll take your advice with a pinch of salt. Simple.

  9. I'm all for equality and err'thin but this man made sense really. He used the word 'Master' which may have been a bit controversial but really all he's talking about is submissiveness which we as Christians already know is a key ingredient in marriage. If as a woman, you know you can't be submissive, then marry a man that'll be fine playing the role of a wife cos 2 people can't steer the wheel at the same time.

  10. Some men readily and eagerly proclaim that a husband is the authority, lord and master of his wife.

    But they don't usually acknowledge and embrace their responsibility to serve become slaves to their wives as readily or eagerly.

    For those who claim that marriage is a master/slave relationship where the husband is wife's master:
    FYI, we are ALL (husbands included) instructed to serve - become slaves to one another in love. It's part of the Christian lifestyle. Husbands are not exempt.

    13 For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence,[b] but through love become SLAVES to one another. 14 For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Gal 5:12-14 NRSV)

    The word that usually translated as serve in Gal 5:13 means slave.

    So yes, husbands have been given limited authority over their wives, and husbands and wives are suppose to serve - become slaves to one another in love because that is part of a Christian lifestyle. A husband's limited authority over his wife should be characterized with servantship rather than lordship.
    After all, husbands are instructed to love their wives like Christ loved the church. How did Christ demonstrate love for his bride the church? One (there are many) of the primary ways Christ demonstrated his love for church was through servantship.

    The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mat 20:28, Mark 10:45

    Jesus took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. Phil 2:7



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