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Tuesday, 11 October 2016

80/20. Tell me 3 Things...

So I'm in bed trying to catch up on what's been going on. I scrolled down Bella Naija opening the posts that appealed to me, or had over 10 comments *covers face*, I'd gone pass about twenty posts and the most comments I'd seen so far was a post with about 12. You can then imagine my excitement when I saw a post with EIGHTY THREE, yeah 83 comments! I thought this had to be good!

Let me state categorically, for those who don't read Bella Naija, that BN comments are gold. It's not LIB where you see 200 comments and 195 of them are "Linda Observe" or its variance, it's a place where when you see 23 comments then you know the post is good, the comments even better, and you're likely to learn something. 

So I opened this post with 83 comments and I was not in the least bit surprised to find that it was man-matter. I mean, majority of its readers a females and what's more likely to get women buzzing than men?!! The realization that this supports Chimamanda Adichie's "80-20" allegation amused me. In a recent interview, the ace writer compared men and women. She said men sit together socially and they talk, and they're talking about their own things; work, money, politics, business, sports, travel etc, and then maybe women. But women sit together socially and they talk and it's only a matter of minutes before the talk turns to men, men, men, marriage, men, marriage, cheaters, sidechics, men. She advised that women should stop doing this should spend only 20% of our time talking about men, and the rest about our own stuff. 

When I read that article I was curious to see people's reactions and I was not surprised. Many females were mad at Chimamanda, some agreed with her. Of course (for once in this lifetime) most men agreed with her, a few were honest enough to admit that men also spend a great deal of their time talking about women too. 

So true, please insert Donald Trump's "locker room" talk. 

But even more true is what Chimamanda said. Put us ladies together and we're quick to talk about our boyfriends or husbands or chaikers. And if we're not talking about them we're talking about something they did, or didn't do, or said. Then random/general gossip/gist often follows and then maybe children (if they're married), and then business or work talk etc. 

There are exceptions but unfortunately, rare. 

But I got to thinking about it and decided to ask you all. When you're with your friends (of the same sex), what's three things that you guys discuss the most. The first being the most often and the last being the least often. 

Tell me people, so that we can know if Chimamanda was right or wrong...


  1. First off, men talk about women ALL THE TIME and anytime they gather so when i read the article, i was like nope!...that's not true.
    As per my discussions with my babes, first is gists about other girls, as in better gossip about other not-so-close friends of ours, what they are doing and what they re not doing. Then our families and work. Finally is to yab each other over some really funny attitudes! And yes! "men talk" comes when we have extra time and strength to laugh the more because it's basically about situations involving the dramatic ones we've met or heard of.

  2. When im with my bff we MOSTLY talk abt:
    1.Getting a better job and businesses to delve into
    2. Buying a car and taking holidays.
    3. Latest places to go and eat.

    I recently mentioned a boyfriend that broke up with me becos I needed sum1 to confide in.

    Men talk obviously isn't our thing!

  3. with me and my wild friends, it's everything football. girl talk is less than 5%

  4. I think the discussions depend on the cliq irrespective of gender. A particular group of guys could have 20% discourse on women, 40% sports(football mostly), 10% work, and 30% miscellaneous( jokes, family, vacation plan, religion, politics, etc). Another group could have varying percentages. Same goes for the girl-groups.

  5. Well with my very bff we talk about our career and how to move forward, then about other friends doing things on instagram then finally sometimes guys(crazy chykers) then other random talk. really we don't sit down and just talk about guys. who guys don epp?

  6. Some guys do discuss girls a lot. I know a group in particular in my school. For my close friend, we basically talk internal gist, movies and other random stuffs.

  7. Thelma please allow me to digress from the topic of discussion. I am so angry right now to say the least. My friend just got duped to the tune of 350k in this buhari season. Hmmmmm where do I even start from?
    She met this guy mid last year in Abj and exchanged phone numbers, not until last month when he contacted her and they got talking. You know all these dusk to dawn kinda phone talk ish that's what they have been doing and only God knows what he told her for her to fall for his tricks.
    He started with baby my mum is ill and you know i am in Ghana and as such can't send money down for her treatment (LIE 1) please can you send some money to her? I would credit you as soon as I get into Nigeria. That's how she looked for 120k in total (drugs+ admission ) and sent to the account number he sent according to him its the doctor's own (LIE2).
    Fast forward to monday this week he lied that he was going to see his sick mum in the East and from there he would come to lagos to see her parents (LIE3) the next day. About 12 noon he called that he was involved in an accident and his victim has been rushed to the hospital and doctor's re demanding for a deposit of about 80k before treatment would commence, she started panicking and borrowing money from friends and family to send to him. According to him his phones, wallet Atm cards were all stolen at the scene of the accident so they had to borrow the policeman's phone to make the call. After sending him the money to commence the treatment of the lady in the hospital he was detained in the police station and the police were demanding for 50k bail so that a driver can bring him down to lagos. Evening of that same day he called that the lady had died and her family re threatening to kill him. My friend sent the 50k to the so called inspector for his bail. Much later in the evening he called and said the lady's family wants to meet with him and discuss the terms for the burial. Hmmmm they were demanding for 1.2 million ooooo Thelma.
    Her family demanded for the numbers lo and behold tru caller revealed their identities. The so called mum is one babe like that, the inspector is maybe a 17 years old boy, the so called fiance has deleted her from facebook and blocked her number.
    The last straw is that this guy has 2 face book accounts with different names but same pictures. VICTOR NWACHUKWU & CHIBUIKE EZE.
    Please is there a way this man can be stopped so that nobody falls victim of it again pls. BVs your suggestions are highly needed

  8. I was with my friend all through today and we only spoke about a girl that passed us and how she falls into our conversation that's not even about her sex.

  9. Discussing guys isnt of interest to me unless its a donor. a charitable cause. Lol.

    Career development, business opportunities and projects that can make meaningful difference.

  10. Seriously? Your friend fell for this scam???
    Let her report to the police. At least they can track down the owner of the account number.J


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