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Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't. Her Fiancé Wants Her To Give It All Away...

I just saw this on LIB and I would like to know what you think. 

You know the most annoying thing about this post? 

That Efe. 

Someone just finished pouring her heart out to you and the best you could say is "This one pass me, put it in prayer" 

Aaaaargh! People like this deserve to be locked away 😭😂. 



  1. This isn't something that needs much advice. The lady in question has do some introspection and ask this simple question: what are her priorities? Answering that question would solve the dilemma.

    1. Some things are rather kept to oneself. Why did she mention her sugar daddy gave her 20mil?couldnt she spread the money in different accounts and invest it gradually? Can't she sell the car and invest the money? It's expected that some of the things she mentioned would bruise his ego. Prudence and Discretion should have been applied.
      A Girl

  2. lolsss, the girl is a learner! how do u disclose whooping 20m cheque giving to you by ur supposed ex FWB as your wedding gift to your fiance knowing fully well he doesnt want u to have anything to do with d man n u expect him to b okay with it????? tor! this one pass me! years back i told my then bf a family friend gave me 50k and the shallow nigga accused me of sleeping with him after spending d cash with me... i respect the fiance for releasing his car n opting for uber it shows hes not selfish. moreso he dint ask u to sell it he said give ur dad. its one thing to have a successful career, its another to live off a man and want ur hubby to b ok with it. lai lai!

  3. Men most times like to be the ones in charge in a relationship. They naturally assume the role of protector and financier. Hence they feel insecure or have their ego tampered with if this is not the case.
    In my opinion this is not even the major problem in this case. The major problem is her not been able to give up her lifestyle like she said. Even if her fiance allows her to keep the car there would always be a problem. Cos I doubt if her fiance finances would help her keep up with her lifestyle in the long run. What would happen then? Has she reasoned all this out?

  4. @ poster that your fiance needs to grow up abeg.

    I think your fwB only has good things in mind for you, ahh to even sponsor your wedding

    ask your fiance what he really wants?

    ka o ya a bu ogbenye bu ru amosu


    1. lol. I dont get. Grow up how? As in get taller?


    2. This one too folllow for advice!

    3. Silence! Nonsense talk. Would you advice your brother to put up with such? He has every right to be displeased, there's a time to do runz and a time to get your head straight.
      A Girl.

  5. lol this is funny. Seriously this is a no brainer for me. So you keep this 20 million, encouraging him to continue with his lavish gifts, at what point will you tell him to stop,(rent,going to US to give birth, School fees etc) and if he stops how will you maintain that lifestyle.

    What a lot of ladies lack these days is wisdom. That was a phase in your life, your fiance did not judge you(most men will), yet you see no reason to cut off this married man from your life? This guy even gave up his car? Babe seriously.

    Personally I will not even give the money to charity I will give it back. To maintain Range Rover and fuel Range Rover is not beans. I will sell it, buy a smaller car and put the change in my business. Rejecting that money is my way of telling the married man that "old things have passed away".How will you feel if your Fiance's rich girlfriend keeps buying him expensive shirts etc and he collects.

    Seriously, the only person I feel for here is the man. A lady that whats to maintain a lifestyle you probably cannot provide at the moment is not a lady you should be talking marriage with. Full Stop. J

    1. Anon 4:32pm, come and receive a big hug!! No need for typing again, you have made sense.

    2. Thank you J. I wrote something like this but for some reason can't find it here.

    3. Beautiful response!

      I actually had similar thoughts but didn't know how to put them in words...Chrisyinks

  6. HMMM, I don't agree with the fiance growing up oh. It's only what a sane guy wud do. A man with pride. Like seriously, u'll be collecting from another man that had a history with u. Abi some one else needs growing up.

  7. Err...I wan ask kweshun..

    If a person has a FWB and a fiance(e) he/she sleeps with, and is confused on what to do about the situation, what will be the prayer point? (assuming the person is religious).

    1. Lol... my own kweshun is will baba God even answer the prayer sef.. baba God will be confused o!!
      She better wish for the married bf to marry her na so she can still enjoy the goodies cos obviously the fiance can't meet up...

    2. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  8. Hmmmmm, this on pass me too. 20M in this recession?

  9. Your fiance is not selfish o,it is only normal for him to feel that way.
    But poster,you have to make him understand the years of labour you put into that institution and why you have to enjoy your pension now that you have retired.
    Aahhh 20M loun loun!pay the damn cheque into your akant ojare.#Endtime20Million

    1. Lmao... Why not open a new akant and fix the money there?
      For rainy days...

      Her lifestyle remains yet lifestyle, no one has to forfeit lifestyle for Marraige, it's not that deep. Haba.

      The fact she loves the guy and has done alot is quite commendable and since this retirement benefit, I would hold no grudge.

      Why am I so free-spirited like this? If I'm the fiance, I really can't see much of a problem here oh.
      A Lil pragmatism can save us some emotional stress.

    2. lool @ #EndTime20m


  10. She should have ended things without telling Mr. Fiance (who, in my opinion, is a very nice guy and she's extremely lucky to have him).

    But the deed has been done. She has already dated a married FWB and told prospective future boo.

    I go with Chrisyinks. She really needs to settle her priorities.
    1) The rich ALREADY MARRIED man who spoils her silly but won't marry her (though he seemingly has her best interests at heart)


    2) Her incredibly tolerant fiancé who still wants to marry her regardless of her failings.

    It's a choice between monetary/status hapiness AND the joy that comes from having YOUR matter how small it currently looks now.

    The ball is in her court. She should choose wisely.

  11. Me I have a question oh..What is FWB?..Babe u are on an okafor's law level oh,that ur fwb is still gon shag u one day...Because if you husband goes broke, you are so running back to him...TNHW

  12. I don't understand the girl. You keep taking money and gifts from a married man you had a relationship with while you are in a current relationship.Sister should pick a side.

  13. They have said it all. Some people get luck sha

  14. I got tired halfway through her epistle. I couldn't finish.
    I support Efe, why would you pour out your life story to someone who is almost a stranger (based on how much background info she had to give). Abeg, I feel for her but I'm with Efe on this - this one pass me.

  15. But I wont lie sha. To return N20m in this end time is hard o. The things that can be done with that money.

    Baba should close eye and collect the money. Its fruit of labour of his wife's hoe-ing up and down. He should accept his blessings. lol


  16. Edit - incase my earlier comment was published.

    What's the meaning of return 20m? I don't understand.

    Her mistake was telling the guy who was already complaining about a car of the money, at that time...if she even must tell him.

    She has a problem which is 'I don't want to give up my lifestyle.' lifestyle she can't even afford. She isn't about to give up certain pleasures, which are just wants not needs nor life threatening, and is planning a wedding then she needs counselling. I hope she has truly stopped dating the married man. She wants to get married to a young 'starting-up' man yet she wants the finer things the baba can afford, Nne make a chooose biko,lol.
    Why is she still chasing shadows?

    Does she own the island house? No,so give the married man the keys...that's the only thing she should return.

    She should sell the range and get 2 foreign used cars, give one to her parents and use one.
    Deposit the 20 m in an account and seek professional advice on how to invest, buy lands too NOT spending it on the wedding o!

  17. She needs to stick with one bae now. She cant eat her cake both ways.

    Thhat her fiances is super human. Most guys wont even wait for confirmation.
    What lifestyle are we talking about. She can keep looking for a rich man interested un marrying her now.

    No decent and self respecting man should put up with this nonsense.

    Sell rhe range, invest ur 20mila if its too hard for you to return and stick with your fiance

    Greed ti take over.

  18. I second Uyi's comment. No time


  19. Also,the fiancé is a very nice guy honestly. But I have no respect for him.

  20. What is Fwb. Am I the only one here who doesn't know what that means. Is it what you cool kids now call sugar daddy. Someone pls help, if it is? Then fuck it she should stop being a bitch. If she is truly no longer about that lifestyle, then she shouldn't accept the gift. She should never speak to him again. Where do guys find these kind of girls sef its utterly disrespectful that some dude that used to shag my fiance is offering her a gift like that..I'm pissed on his behalf. This is not supposed to be an issue there are no crossroads here. If she accepts the money then she's just a gold digging piece of sh*t


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