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Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Favourite: So Clueless.






I am 18 years old 
Smart,beautiful & fabulous 
Anthony & I just started dating recently, He is head over heels, the feeling is mutual. Absolutely

I leave for the USA in two weeks. Yes, I got admitted to study genetics engineering. I have always been so fascinated with G.E especially the promise it holds for agriculture. So Stanford University,here I come.

My parents have always wanted the very best for me, their actions towards me since birth could only stem from parental love. My friend Rachael also got admitted to study Media arts & Animations in another University in the USA. If am fascinated about G.E, Rachel has always been super crazy about animations,bringing cartoon characters to live....I can already envision our years in the USA been so much fun.

Yet I am lying down in an hospital bed after I slit my wrists. I thought I would be dead by now. I just couldn't bare it anymore. The darkness is so overwhelming,how do I get out of this abyss?Does anyone really understand?How do I explain to another soul what I can't put into words?That my life seems perfect but I feel listless and despondent within? 

It's like one moment I was so happy and then the next moment It was a struggle to understand what I felt,when exactly I started feeling it and why I was feeling it. So yes I am smart,beautiful and fabulous but I haven't felt like that in a very long time. 

N.B
Depression is not a rich man's disease neither is it just  the socially inept cross. It cuts across age groups, social strata,religious inclinations,race gender. There have been countless stories of people with seemingly perfect lives who just woke up one day and committed suicide. What's worse is that their family and friends thought they were doing perfectly fine.

It's always advisable to speak out and get professional help if need be, it's nothing to be ashamed of,let no man tell you otherwise. Have you ever been depressed or know anyone who was?what were the signs & causes? How did you or them get through it? Please share,you never know who you might be helping

8 comments:

  1. Wow...this is so deep, I teared up al little. I remember when I was younger, I'd make fun of depression that it was a white man disease but when it hit me it was no joke Oo. My first experience was in j.s 1. My chest felt heavy with sadness and I just started crying. Every body was asking me what was wrong but I couldn't answer because me myself didn't even know. It happened like that for the duration of a month till school called my mother to come and carry her property. Every one just chucked it as being away form home for the first time but when my mother took me home, the cry was 1000x worse. Then it happened again when I was 17 till now. If I'm lucky once a month. I started getting into stand up comedy so I could laugh more. But when I had my episodes that wouldn't even matter. I'd laugh until I'd start to weep again. The sadness could always seep into my laughter. I wasn't fooling anyone. I'd be sooo sad that I'd be able to taste it. I think of all what God has done for me and how I had no right to feel this way on a full stomach and a comfortable bed. But the pull to just lay in my bed for days and cry without even standing up to pee was too strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. O my God... you need to talk to a psychologist. Get help please.

      Sending hugs and kisses your way.

      Delete
  2. Yes, I have...when everything seemed to be going awry. Don't know how I pulled through it...but I did.

    I guess hope (from wherever it decided to come) played a major role in getting out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thank God for my life.

    There are sicknesses nobody will ever understand until you experience em.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
  4. Depression is not a white or rich man's illness. A lot of Nigerians are suffering from it without knowing, and maybe calling it something else (thinking it's spiritual or something).
    More awareness about depression is needed in Nigeria. It'll save a lot of lives.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happened to me once,can still remember how I felt...Numb.


    *QuirkyMoi

    ReplyDelete

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