Hey guys. It's been a great weekend for me. It's about 7am here, I've been up since 4.30 and I'm terribly sleepy, but I'm airborne and this is one very turbulent flight so my eyes are shining like torchlight.
The turbulence is to the sense of peace I feel in my spirit. First off, shout out to Rwanda Air for their awesomeness. When I was booking my tickets in Lagos I had the option of flying either Ethiopian Air, Kenya Airways or Rwanda Air. After my online research I decided to fly Kenya airways, besides it was the most expensive and most of us tend to think that most expensive equals best.
We're sometimes wrong.
I flew into Kigali (Rwanda) on Friday after my classes, with Rwanda Air. I'm heading back to Nairobi now and I can't stop thinking how good their flights and planes are. Oh, I should also tell you how picturesque and splendid Rwanda is but that should be a post on its own. Suffice it to say that Nigeria needs to wake up. If a country that suffered that kind of genocide, challenges, war and setback is as advanced, clean, secure, beautiful and organized as Rwanda is, then my country needs to stop sleeping on a bicycle!
So anyways, I'm just thinking how crazy my week is going to be. I have to attend an event, any event today and critique it, then make a presentation on it in a few days. I'm worried because I can't find any event to attend in Nairobi today. There were several yesterday but I wasn't in the country. I heard there's some animal festival (Dogtoberfest) holding in some forest somewhere in Nairobi and although that's not the kind of event they had in mind, or I'd like to even walk pass much less attend, it's the only option I have so... 😢😣
For the first time in months I feel at peace, hopeful and purposeful. Towards the middle of this year I began to feel very anxious about my life and my future. The things that normally would bother me were fine; I had/have enough money to take care of myself, and I had/have an amazing man whose love for me is simply amazing! My worries however bordered on purpose, career wise.
You see, I've always known what I want and how I'm going to get it. I've always had a sense of purpose and ambition. However sometime this year I started to feel really blank. I started to feel like there was a blindfold over my eyes and I couldn't see anything. I felt lost and visionless. This feeling put in me a state of sadness, panic and anxiety. A few weeks back I woke up one morning and suddenly started crying. I think I cried the whole day. I realize I was having a panic attack. In that state of despair and confusion I sent Miss Pynk a mail telling her what was going on, she responded and her message really calmed me down and helped put things in perspective. I also called sasha boné to talk about something unrelated but suddenly the tears came again and I think I broke down. She was very confused and nearly began to panic at how distraught I was 😂😅.
You see, someone told me when bad things happen in your life don't tell people, nobody cares and some will even laugh. Only share the good news. I actually agree to an extent. Particularly because I know not everyone reading my blog has good intentions towards me, and some are eagerly waiting to read some bad news or something that they can laugh or gloat over (you might as well stop wasting your time, it's not going to happen). But the truth is that I'm way deeper and honest than that. I don't know how to show only the good, glamorous or flawless. I'm real enough to show my scars because to me they're a sign of life lived and victory. Also, I know that we ALL have our fears and challenges, and if sharing mine is going to bring someone comfort, even if just by knowing that they're not alone, then I'm going to do that sometimes.
So yes, a little while after this incident I decided I was going to leave the country and finally do what I need to do. When I made this decision I didn't necessarily have the money I needed, but the truth is that money is sometimes the least important factor. My boyfriend says money follows desire/plans and that is so true. The moment I decided what I wanted, and decided that I really wanted it, doors began to open and in barely a few days, I, who didn't have enough had more than enough to pay for not just the one program I'd initially decided to go for but three, my flights, my lodging for the weeks I will be in Nairobi, my materials, my upkeep and more (eg, my trip this weekend cost money too, right?).
I'd be landing in a few minutes and once I drop my luggage at home, I'm heading straight to the festival (although i'm seriously hoping that something else turns up). I'm excited about my future, I'm excited about the coming week, I'm actually very excited about myself, my potentials and the possibilities.
If you're ever in that state where you feel like your life isn't going as it should, try not to panic. Pray about it, talk to the RIGHT people about it and stay positive. So many things in our lives stem from our minds so you've got to get your mind right. Some schools of thought posit that your thoughts create your life. That's somewhat true. Get your mind right! Read some good books too, they'd help.
I'm presently reading How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want To Be by Jack Canfield. Simple read yet powerful. I'm also reading Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, that's another great book. Other books I read and strongly recommend are Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattle, and ESPECIALLY As a Man Thinketh by James Allen.
There are a few other great ones too but these are the ones I'm reading. (Continuous present tense, because these aren't books you read like a novel, these are books you read kinda like the bible. You don't ever finish reading them. Besides you know that habits are formed by repetition. If you're going to live by the principles of these books you read and read and read). And if you're not quite ready for these yet then at least read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. That's another life changing book.
So that's it.
Update. I'm back to my room now and I've found another event going on today that I would love to both attend and critique. Yay me! 😚😚😚
What about you? Tell me what's going on with you? Do you want to share any challenges you're currently going through and tell us how you're working your way out of it? Please do so.