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Wednesday, 19 October 2016

#WriteRight. Pat: She Loves Her Ex Not Her Husband. Her Ex Wants His Child Back.





A friend is married. She married the guy because he helped her financially while in University.  During NYSC, she got pregnant for the guy and to avoid family shame. A hurried traditional and white wedding was done before the pregnancy became visible.

Its five years now and 2 kids in the marriage.  She still does not feel love for her husband but rather for her first man who is also married. She swears her first cheating on her husband with her lover resulted in her last and first male child (7 months).  Her husband is staying in Lagos while the lady is staying at Ekiti due to work. The parents in-law also stay in Ekiti.  The issue now is that the lover is insisting she tell her husband the true father of her  child as he (lover) will want to train his child in his roof.  Please be informed that her lover is married and still waiting on the lord for a child with his wife.  The lover has been taking care of her very well since the birth of the child to the extent of giving her a car last month which she lied to her husband that it belongs to her elder brother. She is in a fix. Should she tell her husband, What happens to her after the confession.  Should she run away and with her children and abandon both men. The lover is already happily married.

My people. Please don't curse her because she is not in a good frame of mind at the moment.  I told her I will post his here and given her the blog id.  Kindly help her by giving her sincere advice.



***
The only circumstance under which she she should tell her husband is if she is ready to exit her marriage. As for her "lover" YIMU to him. She should please ignore him, he is a termite, he only wants to destroy. Yeye man. Unless he's planning to marry her as wife number 2 or leave his current wife for her, he should GTFOH. For what shall it profit a woman to destroy her life and her marriage to please a selfish man whose life shall continue unperturbed? 


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33 comments:

  1. Is she really sure the lover is the father of the boy?. If yes, then she should confess to her husband and plead for forgiveness. That lover will not marry her, he will collect his son and that is all. She should be wise here.

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  2. Yorubas will say....igba woo nii maaku oonii kuu? meaning our worst fears always end up coming true(or something along that line )

    She is sitting on a time bomb,the way I see it, she either tells her husband or her lover does especially given that he is childless in his 'happily' married marriage.

    It's more advantageous she tells her husband though herself, that way she might be able to control the mode of delivery

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    Replies
    1. In Nig, our culture and law seem to clash. One thing I do knw is that by law,the child belongs to the husband cos he's wife (who's the mother of the kid) is till married to him. If she (wife) was unmarried (single or divorced) and had that baby for the same married man,thats another kettle of fish cos different cultures come in play here..

      Delete
  3. Was hoping this was fiction. See gobe...

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  4. Why did she tell her ex the son is his in the first place.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. She never should have. Especially knowing he has no child and has no plans of marrying her.

      She needs to be sure that the child is for the Ex first. If yes, she has to tell the husbsnd herself. She should however be ready to lose her marriage. Very very very very few men, eapecially African men forgive such.

      If her husband decides to forgive, the child belongs to him and not the ex.

      Delete
  5. What about the husband? He took care of her, she decided him and pretended to love him and then married him. She committed adultery and had a child, she has accepted a car from the father of the child and is lying to her husband comfortably and effortlessly. She is now suddenly worried because she is between a rock and a hard place. I will not call her names, she already knows the name's she would give to a woman who does such. She should picture her brother in such a situation, she should leave the marriage, her ex husband deserves better.
    A Girl

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    Replies
    1. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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    2. *decieved*
      A Girl

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  6. First do a DNA test on the child to prove the child's paternity. Either ways, I feel she'd still need to tell her husband about her infidelity...it appears the lover is bent on being irrational and may probably spill on the love affair. It's better the husband heard it from her first than a third-party.

    Perhaps before telling the husband, she should have kept enough money and personal valuables aside, in the instance that the husband decides to choose the extreme choice of sending her packing.

    I feel if the guy married her based on the marriage being a return on his financial investment, he wouldn't dissolve the marriage. If this is the case, she should ensure that she makes up for her wrong. Love sometimes can be grown...she should make her marriage work. Her children are depending on her to make choices that would preserve their well-being.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cHRISYINKS. I guess you are a woman. Every one is noted. thanks

      Delete
  7. What were you thinking? Unprotected sex. What is your exit plan? If you don't have one, plan it. Fast. Because lover will ensure your husband is informed that he is a father of one child. By the way, lover needs his child while he only wants you for sex. That's why he had unprotected sex with you, just to 'try his luck'. And it paid off.

    Hire a lawyer to find out where you stand as regards children's custody and welfare. I say this because your secret will be exposed soon. This is not the time to be emotional. You need to plan for a nasty fight. Do you have a nest egg? What about accommodation? This is not the time to worry about what people will say about you.

    My guess is lover wants to wreck your marriage so you can have more children for him. And he intends to wreck it. What of your family? Are they supportive or mercenary? Who, friend or family, has your back? Because someone else needs to know what is going on and what is about to happen.

    By the way, how did lover know the child is his? What if you're wrong? Do you have irrefutable proof?


    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you so much Mallam. Thanks: Infact THANKS

      Delete
  8. Thelma why naaa....I want to abuse the lady. I want to tell her how she is a dumb farm too. Farm tool....get it? lol.

    Yea so you cheated. Shut up and move on with your life. You now had to tell your lover you pregzz for him. Thats dumb.

    All you can do now is tell more lies. Tell the lover the child is not his. And start using protection damn it!

    Peace.

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    Replies
    1. KON' Thanks for your advice. I accept the abuse

      Delete
  9. "...she got pregnant for the guy and to AVOID FAMILY SHAME, a hurried traditional and white wedding was done before the pregnancy became visible...".

    "...(After 5 years of marriage) She still DOES NOT FEEL LOVE for her husband but rather for her first man who is also married...".

    Pretty obvious the marriage was a failed marriage from the word GO. Pretty obvious too that her will and desire for lasting companionship is centered on her first love, hence she told him he's the father of her child and accepted added aid from him, including gifts. The only reason she's now desperate is because of the apparent shame lover boy is willing to put her through if she's not going to allow him FULL access to his son.

    So since she's NEVER been interested in her marriage and also an accomplice in attempting to give heartaches to her husband and her lover's wife, what sort of advice is she looking for? I don't see any remorse here, just pure and selfish DESPERATION to cover up a shameful act. I hope our married TTBVs can help you with this mess but I just needed to point out this obvious selfish and wicked act.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh. Memphis. You will not understand, I wish I can explain better. This is my first cheating on my hubby even though I don"t have that emotional feeling that a woman should have on the husband.

      Delete
    2. Wanton, unrepentant woman. Selfish indeed. Hoe's errwhere
      Kratos

      Delete
    3. Go easy on her Kratos and Memphis 😟
      People do bad things... at least she is seeking solution to the mess she created.

      Delete
    4. Kabuoy, she's not remorseful, and Kratos noticed that too.

      Delete
    5. See me laughing out so hard here. hahahahaa. Memphis and kratos. I can only imagine the anger. Its all good. ?Shit happens every day in this our society. Its only those who are bold enough to say their odeal we get to hear.

      Please cool your mind. Lets correct and advice her with love.

      Delete

  10. I have a wife who is the most amazing person ive ever met. I love adore and worship the ground she walks on. Ive had a bad childhood and its lived with me for many years ive ended up spending time in jail in 2012 to 2014. I ended up turning my life around and now im in the British Army but as my relationship grew stronger with my wife ive ended up drinking saying things that i dont mean also have had two seizures and overdosed on anti depressants im really struggling to understand why im like this. My marriage is on a temporary break and all i want to do is win my wife back i know people say its the drink but i can drink with my friends and im fine but then sometimes i drink and i dont know i turn into an idiot ive never hit or cheated on my wife i just shout swear i feel like ive lost my way. I need help in getting my wife back please help me. She is the most beautiful loving caring person ive ever met she accepts me for who iam and my past i feel like i have a devil on my shoulder that wants to be an idiot but on the other shoulder i have a person that wants to do good things i cook clean tell my wife i love her every day i work she doesn’t i do think in my mind i do my absolute best. But then i mess things up its so frustrating and all my problems has come to an end with the help of Dr. Ikhine contact his email: agbadado@gmail.com to get your what ever problems you have come to an end today also call +2348056932230 for fast responds

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    Replies
    1. When I read "I've ended up spending time in jail from 2012-2014",i just knew it was the digital witch doctor again...lol.

      Delete
  11. there are stories u hear. u wish its fiction but alas na true life story

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  12. There are stories you hear, you only wish they were fictions but alas they are true life story

    ReplyDelete
  13. I came from a community where a legally married woman's child paternity cannot be contested even when he looks like the landlord.

    A man who has married a woman (paid dowry) owes every child she gives birth while still legally married to the man. There are cases where a man or the community knows very well that a particular man cannot pregnant his wife, yet no one dare says his children are not his because he is legally married to his wife.

    To the story above. The husband is the father of that son except he says other wise. The lover has no right over that child. If he likes, let DNA be conducted and show otherwise.

    No man wants to hear that another man sees his wife bra/pant more or less sleeping with her. Its an abomination. Its the worst thing any woman can do to her husband.

    The deed has been done. What next?... If you still want to remain in that marriage. Return that car. Disconnect in all entirety with that lover. He is a destroyer. He just used you to try his ability to pregnant a woman. He is just testing his manhood. As per telling your husband... Please keep mute for now. Show him true and sincere love from now on. Get money and do DNA on your child to ascertain the true father, You might be carried away by your infatuation on your lover. Your husband might turn out to be the true father of your son. Above all. I wish you wisdom. Go back to God in all sincerity. Tell him what you want.

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    Replies
    1. Is it a community thing (tradition) or its actually backed up legally?? Cos I feel by law,the child belongs to the husband as long as he's still married to the mother of the child unless he decides otherwise...

      Delete
  14. LMAO @ what shall it profit a woman to destroy her life and marriage to please a selfish man whose life shall continue unperturbed. nice one. now this is my point, why on earth would anyone marry out of pity?the man is blinded by his own selfish desires because I am so sure if his marriage had produced a child he would not ask the woman to confess. madam you can only confess if you are ready to exit your marriage because trust me your lover would not leave his wife and marry you, so if you living,bear that in mind. God help you to make the right decision. maybel

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  15. Please help me understand why you told him the child is his? I have a feeling you already know what you want out of this mess.

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  16. How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........

    Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three (3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address drshirlokotemplehill@gmail.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for LORD SHIRLOKO . His email: drshirlokotemplehill@gmail.com contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage and all kinds of problem you find difficult to resolve physically and he will put a solution to it. thanks to the internet which seems to have made everything more easy for me to get his contact details. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it without doubts.

    GOOD LOOK

    ReplyDelete

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