Skip to main content

I Thought I'd Be Cool With It.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning, I could tell that the moment his ringing phone abruptly woke me up from Friday nights sleep. "Her again" he sighed. 

"Her who?"

"Nnenna, she's been calling since last night. She's in town, says she wants to hook up"

Nnenna, his ex. 

"She called yesterday, said she wants to come over. I told her I'd ask you..."

His sentence faded into silence, waiting for my response. I did nothing to help the silence. 

"So is it ok?" He asked, finally. 

I shrugged. "Why does she want to come?" I asked him

"I don't know o! Me sef I wonder. She just says since we're both in Lagos and her hotel is not too far from here we should see. She wants to meet you". I could tell he added that last part to soften me up. 

"No can do, I don't want to meet her". 

"Ok then" he said with no further argument. 

However she kept calling and i could tell he didn't mind seeing her. He's told me about her a number of times over the months. Fun loving, flighty Nnenna. 

Yeah well, seems he was in the mood for some fun and flightiness. 

"Oya let her come nau" I finally gave in. 

I tried to be cool. I gave her Uber driver directions to the place. 

The minute she got here she threw her hands around my neck and gasped "Wow, she's pretty". 

"Of course she is" he said, "that's why she's my woman". 

*yimu to them both*

They laughed. I didn't. 

A few minutes later I excused myself, said something about needing something. I left them alone. 

Came back after about fifteen minutes to find them laughing happily about something or the other. 

"Come sit with us" she said, pulling me by the hand. 

Something about her superfluous friendliness rubbed me the wrong way. 

I sat. 

"I need to go get things for breakfast" I said standing up almost immediately 

He looked at me pleadingly. She looked at me with sugary sweetness. I couldn't stand it. 

"I really need to get the groceries" I said to them both

"Are you okay? Am I making you uncomfortable?" she asked nicely

I was meant to respond in the negative but I couldn't. I didn't want to be honest but the truth forced its way out of my mouth. "Actually you are. I'm sorry Nnenna, I'm sure you're a really nice person but I'm uncomfortable and I can't pretend" I said as politely as I could. 

I could see she didn't know what to make of my honesty. I could see he was wishing I didn't have to be so tightly wound or so damn honest. But honestly I just wished they'd both burst to smithereens at that point. 

I took advantage of the awkward silence and slid away. 

I actually didn't go out, just went and sat in the car. 

10 minutes later... 'Babes where are you' the text said. 'In the car, waiting for your friend to leave'

'Please come back up, I didn't know it'll make you so uncomfortable, she'll leave now'. 

I went back up, she was putting her things together "it was nice meeting you Nwando, I really wanted to get to know you and spend time with you guys but it seems you're not comfortable..."

I could tell she was offering an olive branch of sorts, I could sense I was meant to respond by saying it was ok and she shouldn't leave. But I didn't. 

"It's ok Nnenna. Have a safe trip tomorrow". 

I honestly thought I'd be cool with it, playing host to my man's ex and being all niceee nice. But I wasn't cool with it and in true piscean fashion my emotions are rarely far from the surface, I couldn't deal. 

And that was this morning. In my shoes would you be cool with it? How would it have played out? I wish I could be "that" chic that returned her embrace and made her breakfast and the three of us would sit round the table trading laughter and stories, but I guess I'm just not that cool. 

How about you? 



  1. How can I be cool with it? Nah!!!my yoruba peeps would say which kain play dog dey follow lion play...TNHW

    A Girl

  3. ...sounds weird. I don't even want to put myself in those shoes... u were even nice to let her in in the first place!
    I feel she was on a mission tho!

  4. Investigate more about this friendliness . How come he wants her to come ? How come she keeps calling ? I can't deal

  5. T really, i also think you would have been cool with it, but then, "Something about her superfluous friendliness rubbed you the wrong way"! That sums it! The "anticipated coolness" had every damn right to vanish, on very valid grounds.

  6. It's always awkward having a spouse's Ex come visit. I would be surprised at whoever doesn't feel this way. But then Thelma, you for try cover up small naa. Even if she made you feel uncomfortable you could've tried veiling the discomfort to an extent. Well, at least you and boo now know what it means having an Ex to come visit so no more discomforts to look forward to in that regard.

  7. N to the have do shouldnt be cool with it jor

  8. I will love you the more if I were your BF. You gave it a try but remained true to yourself by not pretending. That my dear is called maturity. In your 20s you would not have done this.Respect. J

  9. I g'asikwa! Cool host ko calm hostess ni.
    Especially not with ex gfs who keep calling as indicated in the lines and her overtly 'friendliness.'

    Also it never makes sense to me when and ex or someone who clearly or subtly,at least to me, likes the Beau in a kind of 'unsafe way' says they want to be friends with me! Why please? No, thanks! Until I see you in the safe zones.

  10. No can do please. Why would I ever want to be friends with my ex's gf? Doesn't even make sense to me. And all the niceness and smiles... *shudders*

    I like the fact that you didn't try to push your feelings aside to please the boo cos if you did, they'd just go on being chummies and inviting you along for their hangouts.

    I'm not as brave as you are tho but I guess age and maturity has a lot to do with it. At a certain point, your tolerance level for BS becomes low and your own peace of mind is most important.

  11. Ok, it's passed now but could you have a friendly convo with your man to handle his business without dragging you into it?

    I wouldn't encourage any association with any ex knowing the dangers with okafor's law. And to think you were trying to brave it got me laughing

  12. You even tried to allow her come, if na me there is no way she will come to the house o, even if her hotel was in the same compound. All this ex that just wont let go.

  13. As someone who was nice to a supposed ex-wife and her niceness was used against her and the whole thing became really too hot to handle, I say you did well, very well.

    Never, ever welcome an ex. Never embrace the idea.



Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.