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On Becoming What Exactly?

"The author of this book has gone through some really tough times. But, everyone directly or indirectly involved was stripped bare, making the book feel like a viscous comment section of a gossip blog -(Spare no details, Spare no one)

According to the prologue, "this book is not a tell all but a must tell". I disagree. It is a TELL ALL. If it was a must tell, then she would only give absolutely RELEVANT information. But I suffered through a lot of irrelevant references that could only be in the book for one reason: To "report" Maje and his other women to the world

Hence, only ONE chapter (which was the last chapter) was dedicated to Toke's lessons learnt, her responsibilities from the failed relationship and her advice to women on what to do if they found themselves in her situation. To be honest, I had assumed these would be the foundation of the book, coupled with her strategy in becoming a household name. I assumed wrong

Maje's name came up 378 times in a 14 chapter book. Toke's growing career, TWICE

How does one BECOME, only by the isolated experience of marriage? Not to trivialize the author's marital woes, If someone like Mo Abudu wrote a book titled "On Becoming", I am fairly certain, there'll be more to her evolving than what she went through in a failed marriage. Perhaps I'm peeved that I bought this book, if I had waited to borrow it, maybe I wouldn't feel the need to write things exactly as I see them
Miss Makinwa can applaud herself for writing a book as ostentatious as that of Holly Madison's. Yes it may sell but it will never be a classic. Feeding people's curiosity and making money from it, may have been the author's ultimate goal anyway. ⭐️⭐️"

@dairyofanaijagirl (Instagram) posted the above this morning and reading it only fed my curiousity; on becoming what exactly?

Many people applaud Toke, Many don't. Some like me, are weird as that may sound, resentful. 

I don't agree with those who say "After all you're not the only woman that has been cheated on, why must you write a book?". I actually find that very statement baseless and infuriating. 

Neither do I necessarily agree with those who say "but she knew about the other women and she still stayed" or "she could have left at anytime, the choice was hers to stay" or "even his mother warned her that he is not her husband", because love is a very complicated thing, it's seldom black and white. 

I'm however "resentful" because it seems Toke Makinwa, one of the most intriguing brands in contemporary Nigeria, has no idea the weight of whom she is or how powerful she has become. 

To cease this moment, to be blessed with the insurmountable blessings she's being blessed with, to have such an enormous platform, to have a name that's in itself a great fascination to many and yet write a book that inspires barely anything, is to me abominable. 

Toke Makinwa's book is selling fast like hot cakes but come this time next year, when our thirst for fat juicy gossip has been quenched by overtaken events, who would be talking about Toke Makinwa's On Becoming

It's her story to tell and she has every right to that, in fact I think she NEEDED to tell this story for various reasons best known to her, either money or revenge, either as therapy or a sense of achievement that comes with being a published author, whatever it is I really don't know. 

What I do know is that Toke Makinwa would have done herself and hundreds of thousands of young people a greater service, if she had chosen instead of share with us how she BECAME this epitome of success that she is today, how she defied all odds, despite the tragic death of her parents, despite her carefree party-girl days, despite the hate, vitriol and bullying she suffered through in the early years of her career... How she took it all, came through it all and has now become this woman whose name we cannot hear without pausing for a second or two. 

On the bright side, there's still time enough for that. And when such a time comes that this intriguing woman chooses to write that book, I would finally be able to say I've read a book written by Toke Makinwa. 



  1. Tokstar all the way, she is a great woman in the making, I agree with you Thelma on what she should have written but I bet you that won't sell as much as this one, it ll make a better second book. Toke is smart sha,I wish her well.

  2. Yes T i agree she might have no idea whom she is or even how powerful she has become, but then i think her aim is to "die to self" to "become born again" (at least that's what she printed on her Tshirts), to expose her weaknesses and flaws just to be able to heal properly, i'm sure she knows that she ll be throwing herself to the judgemental hands of all of us yet she did it anyways. That's bravery!
    The only thing i don't like is that she allowed just this aspect of her life to define her entire existence.

  3. Not read the book and wouldn't be reading it if I had two lifetimes. Diaryofanaijagirl's comment and your penultimate paragraph resonate with my perception of the book. Her 'trailer' just appeared to be too concentrated on her failed relationship/marriage with Maje than what has brought her some measure of success and fame.

    PS: Although love can be complicated, in her case, it does appear to be black and white.

    1. This was an opportunity for her to vent and inform us maje and Anitahave a sex tape. We have heard you Toke, you had every chance to leave and you decided to stay in a toxic and time wasting relationship. At least you made money from it and also got someone to blame your bleaching on, let the husTle pay according to sister Nkechi.
      A Girl.

    2. She had every opportunity to leave a toxic relationship but chose to stay, the book was just an opportunity to vent and inform us Maje and Anita have a sex tape. At least she made money from the bad situation and even got someone to blame her bleaching on, let the hustle pay.
      A Girl

    3. @ A Girl

      I guess's amazing how she only looks at the short-term consequence of her selfish actions.

  4. This girl cant catch a break. I feel for her.


  5. I read the book and the reviews are right. There is no mention to how she rises. It is just about Make. There's nothing to learn from or her career success as to how she can afford all the designer bags she currently has. It is an empty book. If I was famous and wrote my heartbreak stories they would rival gets. Only they were not with the same man for a 12 year period

  6. Tokstarr with the double "r"... weldone!!

  7. welcome back Tee
    how is your health now ?

    Remember to drink enough water always

  8. Lol, was waiting for a blog fam to write a review on the book. Hehehehe

    Poor Maje,had two women he had to please (the pressure). Gave one a ring and the other a child. Wonder who actually has his heart.

    Morale of my post: first to collect ring doesn't signify happy ever after.

    Hope the money from her book sale gets her the closure she needs.

    It is well..

  9. I know Toke and Maje's story from the inside because I know them both personally and i bet you that Maje will ignore this attack on his person. i wont bother with reading the book to know whats inside because she must be painting herself with all colours of 'victim'.Toke came from a side chic to main chic and her bitchiness drove Maje crazy. Once we were all in a club MAje simply hugged a friend's girlfriend and at that point she walked in screeching like a banshee, took a bottle of wine and emptied it on Maje and the girl. Were we so embarrased? 24hrs before their wedding, Maje wasnt sure he wanted to marry her but it was what she wanted.....and she gets what she wants!!!

    All i have to say is that karma is a bitch....*drops mike*

    1. loool.
      She did whuuuh? Poured wine of Maje? So she is gangster like that.
      Even the Maje sef is a dullard. Did she kidnap and carry him to marriage registry?

    2. Yeah right,and I'm Helen of Troy.
      A Girl

    3. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
      Eazeee oya tell us more oooo! Me and gist! Kai!

      But he could have left nah.. gotten a divorce or something. Crazy Toke still does not justify his actions.

      Meanwhile tell US more nah

    4. @ Kon,

      'Did she kidnap and carry him to marriage registry?' Epic!

  10. Hmm the peoples husbands she slept with and got preg for didn't write books abeg. The wives she caused sleepless nights took their prayers to God and he answered them by giving Toke the gift of maje. The said God cannot answer tokes prayers only, he has to answer those wives too.
    She is going to self destruct otan.

    Kokoro ton je efo inu efo lo wa.

    1. ok o... this is real popcorn moment, give me gist abeg!

    2. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
      You people don't give us half gist nah!

    3. Anon you dey vex Ohh. πŸ˜‚

    4. Make e no be like say na onle me dey talk!! Hahahahahahah!!

    5. Toke should have name the book "Ma-je" (dont eat it in Yoruba) or titled - reasons not to social climb. If they didnt leak the story about the pregnancy Toke would be married to Maje.

      Toke is soo blind to see that her future could be brighter than that over bleached skin of hers if she only left Maje alone. She has so much power and is just misusing it.

      All the garbage she was spewing on her Vlogs. She should have done a soul baring as to why she felt she held on so long. She wanted to enter the "spree spree set". Meanwhile she would have gotten there without maje.

      She wasted her time with Envee club girls and screwing pples husbands. Later on she still continued and tried to present herself as a saint. No man with a brain would have married Toke, her only option didnt even want her - she had her cyber thugs fight for her.
      Asides her folks dying while she was young- Toke laid her bed...she should put on her big girl panties and start being honest with herself before she comes back in our faces.

  11. A colleague sent an e-copy of the book to everyone who cared to have it yesterday, one of us who has been championing Toke's cause since last week read just a few chapters and is sorely disappointed. I can't even bring myself to start reading it but I will eventually.

    I agree with the comment up there tho, the book would have made more sense if it had been about her rise to fame and not how hard she fought to be Maje's main chic...

    1. Even from the excerpts it was obvious the book was going to be all about her failed relationship with Maje. All the hype was just BS! Biko sunshine can you send a copy of the ebook to me? God knows I can't justify buying that book for anything


    3. Please send your whatsapp numbers to Thelma and I'll get back to you..

  12. Tee u just said my mind, the book is practically something Linda Ikeji can tell us on her blog. i was really disappointed, talked about Maje so much that i do not even think there's anything to learn because she is obviously not over him and would give him another chance so whats the point.

  13. Toke doesn't bask in her greatness probably because it doesn't really give her the happiness she seeks. You see, a lot of us generalize; we determine for people what should make them happy. A woman in a shitty marriage would cry out and people would say she's ungrateful because (after all) she has children she can divert her attention to them. Who are we to think children give her the happiness she seeks?

    That said: I cannot spend my money on Toke's book. From the day I read the excerpt, I knew she's just trying to play the victim. The book reveals she has not accepted responsibility for the mess she put herself into. And how about Maje's side of the story?

    As at now, I am almost certain she will not make as much money as she hopes (if she does hope) to get from the book sale. It has been heavily pirated with pdf copies flying everywhere.


  14. To me I think Toke just wanted to make cash, she is also feeling this recession, and the best way to do so na to give Nigerians gist since we kukuma like to gossip. Don't know if I will read the book though.

  15. Still same opinion, Toke needs help! God help her to find it and fast too.

  16. E jo Eazee E and Anon 6:01pm come and write more na! I and Kabuoy are interested.

    This isn't the first time I've heard that the babe isn't pure yet she makes everyone else look bad.

    Anyway she's free to rubbish their names and make some money while at it. But going by the excerpts I've read so far, I think she was stupid too. And then I wonder where these her long time besties were when she was going through these. Or was she lying to them about her stand and actions Γ  la her vlog viewers and fans?


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Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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with a packet of durex condom.
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