Skip to main content

#WriteRight. A Girl: Onome.

Onome was not happy. It was obvious in the way she walked, even the little children who always greeted her when she came out of the gate steered clear of her path, they could tell aunty Onome was in a bad mood. Her walk was brisk, her lips were pressed in a hard thin line, in her eyes burned the embers of a fire only the trained eye could recognise, a woman scorned. She clutched her handbag tightly to her side and walked to the  junction without acknowledging any other life form around her. 
She hailed a taxi and spoke to the driver, having settled on a satisfactory fare for the drop, she proceeded to deposit her generous backside in the back seat and settled in for the drive to her boyfriend Kon's house. 

Kon had been distant of late, he was suddenly busy on weekends and her visits to his house had been reduced at his behest, he no longer called her regularly and their sex life was all but dead. She remembered the words of her friend Abigail two weeks back. ''Babe you better shine your eye before one small girl will snatch your man o'' she had said while swallowing unnecessarily large balls of eba and banga soup. She wondered how a mouth as small as Abigail's could achieve such a feat, maybe it was months of having her mouth stretched by a certain part of Uyi's anatomy, Abigail had said he was huge..... She shook her head to clear the lewd thoughts beginning to form, this was not the time to fantasise about her semi-best friend's boyfriend. Besides what did Abby mean by 'small girl', was she old? She was just 28, though her official age was 25 in her work place. She was brought out of her reverie by the voice of the cab man signalling their arrival. 

On the short walk to Kon's gate she remembered the texts she had seen on his phone last week 'see you on Saturday Vicky darl'. She would teach Vicky darl a lesson today, she checked her bag to make sure her trusted coke bottle was inside, having drank half a bottle of magic moments before setting out, she was ready to perform magic on Kon and his whore today. 

She entered the compound with the stealth of a ninja, having satisfied herself that mama Chika was not outside, she walked to Kon's flat. Mama Chika was an indefatigable gossip who lived next door and would have given her presence away with her incessant chatter. She pulled out her spare key and unlocked the door, loud music was playing from the bedroom, she crept closer and put her ear to the door, the music did little to mask the sounds she was hearing. It was the kind she made when Kon had her in one of those gravity defying postures which elaborated the wonders of the human anatomy. Her blood ran backwards in her veins and she literally felt her heart shift to the right part of her Chest. With a high pitched wail that would have put a banshee to flight, she raised her weapon of choice, the hardest bottle known to Nigerians clutched in a vice-like grip above her head and charged into the room. 

You see, Onome was prepared to find her man with a woman, she was even prepared to forgive him after the right amount of grovelling but she was not prepared to find out Vicky darl was Victor and not Victoria. She was not prepared to see him straddling a man and buried balls deep inside him, so she did the only logical thing any woman would have done when faced with such an unfathomable sight, she did what I would have definitely done in such a situation (it's not my portion)....... 
She fainted. 

The End. 

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are purely fictional, any similarities to actual people living or dead are innocently coincidental.


Wow, very nice one A Girl. I think I would have fainted too. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚



  1. A girl thanks you for the compliment. 😁
    A Girl

  2. *Clears throat*

    I need a lawyer. I want to sue for libel.


    1. Damn typo, I meant Ken not Kon.
      A Girl

    2. Haaaaa! Did u really mean "ken"????
      Awesome story by the wei..

    3. Kikikikiki @lawyer.
      Babe was Uyi also a typo? I guess u meant Uyo. Lolz

    4. Lol @Uyo. This was an EPIC piece.

  3. What would I have done?I would sit down and have a laugh...The fact that it's a man would put my mind at rest..Nice one A.girl..TNHW

    1. At rest?! It's in a man's butthole!⚠
      A Girl

    2. It's not my butthole baiby..πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€TNHW

  4. Lol
    I didn't expect that o

  5. Lmao,kon Thelma is available to be that lawyer Ohh, and nice one a girl, but if na me, I no go worry, I would actually feel a bit at rest seeing it wasn't a woman but I would have been so irritated ohhh. Chaaii.

  6. "innocently coincidental" my black ass. Hahahahaha.

  7. Chai. Blood of donald T.

    Lovely piece. Very comical.couldn't stop laughing.well done girk.

  8. Did i just read, " i would have been at rest realising its a man, nt a woman. Somebody shoot me pls. Girl is normal but a man. Hell to the no. Ps am nt saying cheating is normal. Nice one btw, layefa

  9. Thank you all, are all the home girls sure they wouldn't mind too much that their Man is being snatched by another man? Easier said than done o.
    @memphis,now I know your complexion.
    A Girl

    1. I think their minds might be at rest because a lot of times, even if you were walking away from a relationship anyway and found out about another girl, you might wonder 'is there something about her?' but with a man, Nne there is nothing about him you could give, in fact you can tag it that 'the ex is not okay.'

  10. I laughed thru out the whole story cos of Kon and

    This was a very lovely read A Girl.

    If I were Onome, I wouldn't pass out, I'd just scream and then run back out and Kon would be out of my life forever! Cheating of any kind is not acceptable but cheating on me with a guy?! I can't even put my feelings into words right now...

  11. being gay has no cure. i love the story

  12. Lols Very engaging Story A Girl,the kon & Uyi angle added a nice twist to it,couldn't stop laughing. Btw,UYI where art thou? And I agree, it shall not be my man with his man,hian

    1. Lol. Thank you. Let it be known that I have never imagined any part of Uyi's anatomy, never.
      A Girl.
      I said NEVER.

    2. I believe you! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    3. I believe you too... Please don't. Except you want to have my babies.

    4. Taaaah! Commot for here Jor! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      @ Uyi

    5. Yours was a typo too, I meant.... Uyo. Yep, that's it.
      A Girl

  13. Hmmm...He must have met 'vicky boy' recently so he is still 'shacking' him.

    Oh well, I guess I would be numbed from shock to react immediately. When I get back my senses, I would just walk away 'jejely', get home, cry a river and start the healing process.

    Nice one. I enjoyed reading it.


  14. The Thunder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It will come with Jk Rawling's magical spell.

    Lol... Nice one! Wonderful read.

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  15. Had to read againπŸ˜„

  16. Very engaging,the use of blog visitors is quite creative.

  17. Funny one A Girl


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrΓ©e comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrΓ©e is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa