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Tuesday, 1 November 2016

#WriteRight. A Girl: Onome.




Onome was not happy. It was obvious in the way she walked, even the little children who always greeted her when she came out of the gate steered clear of her path, they could tell aunty Onome was in a bad mood. Her walk was brisk, her lips were pressed in a hard thin line, in her eyes burned the embers of a fire only the trained eye could recognise, a woman scorned. She clutched her handbag tightly to her side and walked to the  junction without acknowledging any other life form around her. 
She hailed a taxi and spoke to the driver, having settled on a satisfactory fare for the drop, she proceeded to deposit her generous backside in the back seat and settled in for the drive to her boyfriend Kon's house. 

Kon had been distant of late, he was suddenly busy on weekends and her visits to his house had been reduced at his behest, he no longer called her regularly and their sex life was all but dead. She remembered the words of her friend Abigail two weeks back. ''Babe you better shine your eye before one small girl will snatch your man o'' she had said while swallowing unnecessarily large balls of eba and banga soup. She wondered how a mouth as small as Abigail's could achieve such a feat, maybe it was months of having her mouth stretched by a certain part of Uyi's anatomy, Abigail had said he was huge..... She shook her head to clear the lewd thoughts beginning to form, this was not the time to fantasise about her semi-best friend's boyfriend. Besides what did Abby mean by 'small girl', was she old? She was just 28, though her official age was 25 in her work place. She was brought out of her reverie by the voice of the cab man signalling their arrival. 

On the short walk to Kon's gate she remembered the texts she had seen on his phone last week 'see you on Saturday Vicky darl'. She would teach Vicky darl a lesson today, she checked her bag to make sure her trusted coke bottle was inside, having drank half a bottle of magic moments before setting out, she was ready to perform magic on Kon and his whore today. 

She entered the compound with the stealth of a ninja, having satisfied herself that mama Chika was not outside, she walked to Kon's flat. Mama Chika was an indefatigable gossip who lived next door and would have given her presence away with her incessant chatter. She pulled out her spare key and unlocked the door, loud music was playing from the bedroom, she crept closer and put her ear to the door, the music did little to mask the sounds she was hearing. It was the kind she made when Kon had her in one of those gravity defying postures which elaborated the wonders of the human anatomy. Her blood ran backwards in her veins and she literally felt her heart shift to the right part of her Chest. With a high pitched wail that would have put a banshee to flight, she raised her weapon of choice, the hardest bottle known to Nigerians clutched in a vice-like grip above her head and charged into the room. 

You see, Onome was prepared to find her man with a woman, she was even prepared to forgive him after the right amount of grovelling but she was not prepared to find out Vicky darl was Victor and not Victoria. She was not prepared to see him straddling a man and buried balls deep inside him, so she did the only logical thing any woman would have done when faced with such an unfathomable sight, she did what I would have definitely done in such a situation (it's not my portion)....... 
She fainted. 

The End. 


Disclaimer: The characters in this story are purely fictional, any similarities to actual people living or dead are innocently coincidental.

***

Wow, very nice one A Girl. I think I would have fainted too. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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35 comments:

  1. A girl thanks you for the compliment. 😁
    A Girl

    ReplyDelete
  2. *Clears throat*

    I need a lawyer. I want to sue for libel.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn typo, I meant Ken not Kon.
      A Girl

      Delete
    2. Haaaaa! Did u really mean "ken"????
      Awesome story by the wei..

      Delete
    3. Kikikikiki @lawyer.
      Babe was Uyi also a typo? I guess u meant Uyo. Lolz

      Delete
    4. Lol @Uyo. This was an EPIC piece.

      Delete
  3. What would I have done?I would sit down and have a laugh...The fact that it's a man would put my mind at rest..Nice one A.girl..TNHW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At rest?! It's in a man's butthole!⚠
      A Girl

      Delete
    2. It's not my butthole baiby..πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€TNHW

      Delete
  4. Lol
    Wow
    I didn't expect that o

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lmao,kon Thelma is available to be that lawyer Ohh, and nice one a girl, but if na me, I no go worry, I would actually feel a bit at rest seeing it wasn't a woman but I would have been so irritated ohhh. Chaaii.

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  6. "innocently coincidental" my black ass. Hahahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Chai. Blood of donald T.

    Lovely piece. Very comical.couldn't stop laughing.well done girk.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Did i just read, " i would have been at rest realising its a man, nt a woman. Somebody shoot me pls. Girl is normal but a man. Hell to the no. Ps am nt saying cheating is normal. Nice one btw, layefa

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  9. Thank you all, are all the home girls sure they wouldn't mind too much that their Man is being snatched by another man? Easier said than done o.
    @memphis,now I know your complexion.
    A Girl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think their minds might be at rest because a lot of times, even if you were walking away from a relationship anyway and found out about another girl, you might wonder 'is there something about her?' but with a man, Nne there is nothing about him you could give, in fact you can tag it that 'the ex is not okay.'

      Delete
  10. I laughed thru out the whole story cos of Kon and Uyi...lol

    This was a very lovely read A Girl.

    If I were Onome, I wouldn't pass out, I'd just scream and then run back out and Kon would be out of my life forever! Cheating of any kind is not acceptable but cheating on me with a guy?! I can't even put my feelings into words right now...

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  11. being gay has no cure. i love the story

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lols Very engaging Story A Girl,the kon & Uyi angle added a nice twist to it,couldn't stop laughing. Btw,UYI where art thou? And I agree, it shall not be my portion....my man with his man,hian

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. Thank you. Let it be known that I have never imagined any part of Uyi's anatomy, never.
      A Girl.
      I said NEVER.

      Delete
    2. I believe you! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    3. I believe you too... Please don't. Except you want to have my babies.

      Delete
    4. Taaaah! Commot for here Jor! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      @ Uyi

      Delete
    5. Yours was a typo too, I meant.... Uyo. Yep, that's it.
      A Girl

      Delete
  13. Hmmm...He must have met 'vicky boy' recently so he is still 'shacking' him.

    Oh well, I guess I would be numbed from shock to react immediately. When I get back my senses, I would just walk away 'jejely', get home, cry a river and start the healing process.

    Nice one. I enjoyed reading it.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Thunder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It will come with Jk Rawling's magical spell.

    Lol... Nice one! Wonderful read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  15. Had to read againπŸ˜„

    ReplyDelete
  16. Very engaging,the use of blog visitors is quite creative.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Funny one A Girl
    Kratos

    ReplyDelete

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