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Friday, 30 December 2016


I cannot trust myself to type, too many emotions, too may thoughts, too many observations, too many opinions...

And yes I've had a little more vodka than I should, experience has taught me not to do certain things after vodka, one of which is write on social media. I did that a number of times in my early blogging days and each time I'd have to delete each post the second I woke up, after cringing that is. 

In fact, just three weeks back I had to delete something from instagram which I'd posted the night before, which I had no recollection of posting, which wasn't so bad actually, but which I wouldn't have posted (otherwise). 

So guys, I'm feeling very mellow tonight... Which could be a synonym for "easy" which happens to be the name of the show I'm watching on Netflix at the moment. 

So the point behind this post; none. 

Save for the fact that I want to connect. I want to know what you're doing at the very moment you're reading this, I want to know what you'd like me to change about the blog and what areas you think I can improve on, I want to answer any question you might have to ask me, I want to read anything you have to say, I want YOU to to answer Present to roll call so I know if you've jumped ship or if you're still with us but just don't comment, I want you to say something, anything, really. 

I'd just like to connect with my blog family, I guess. 

There are so many of you I'm missing, but I guess you're busy with the holidays,,,

Let's just talk. 



Men Are Lucky Bast*rds!

I'm sure you've all seen the tweets below, they've been everywhere today. 

And I read comments and I was shocked to see that an unusually large number of women agree. And to my surprise it was even a few males that said "nah, this isn't right". 

Well I just thought I'd share Mrs Oby Ezekwesili's tweets with you and hope that many people realize that this is how a sensible person thinks. 

Ok, enjoy the rest of you day guys. 

For now I'm just going to sit here and read those first tweets above again, and the comments by females saying "She's right sha" and keep thinking men are lucky bastards!



Thursday, 29 December 2016

Our Lovers...

LOL this chat we had this morning cracks me up, Peter Pan? πŸ˜‚

So that's how yesterday I was chatting with one of my Kenyan friends and she was telling me about this guy she had just started dating when I came to Kenya.  

Everytime we talk about him baby girl would sound like the guy was the best freaking thing that ever walked the face of the earth. Last night however she decided to keep it real with me. She said he's a really good guy, she just wished he was a little bit more like her ex. 

"How?" I asked.

Well apparently this new boo is great and all but she just misses the way her ex used to put it down in bed. How he used to "hit it hard" and talk dirty and they'd be very adventurous and get nasty together. 

"Well have you tried to talk to him about it? You've got to be able to tell your man what you like, or show him at least" said I. 

Yes, she said. She's tried, first subtly and then directly to tell him how she likes it, how she wants it a bit rough, how she wants to them to do some naughty things... But when she said she'd like him to go harder, boo said something about loving her too much and being afraid of hurting her. When she said she'd like it a bit nasty, boo said he respects her way too much and would only make tender love to her. 

It all sounds nice on paper but in reality, girly just wants to get smashed. Aaaaargh!


"But err, it's just a small price to pay, I'd rather date him than anyone else, but I just wish I could trade his bedmatics with my ex's", was her concluding statement. 

LOL. I was just thinking about it so tell me, if you're married or in a relationship, what quality/skill of your ex do you wish your boo has? Or what one quality do you generally wish he/she possesses?

Among other things, I wish mine would dream that Idris Elba or Chris Brown, or even Don Jazzy was toasting me. Davido tho? πŸ˜₯


Wednesday, 28 December 2016

2016 Was...


I'm typing with shaky fingers, not quite sure what I have to say. I've stayed off the blog for this same reason, not sure what I have to say. 

I just feel like one year is coming to an end and so...

So what really? I do not know. 

I'm so glad that this year wasn't like the last. Last year ended well but the first two quarters were disastrous for me. I remember writing about it, simply to share, which I thought was safe since the dark moments were past. And so in that post I wrote about a public personality that I'd been working with and how our relationship came to an abrupt end and how distraught I was. I made no mention of names or any personal detail. Yet someone from the blog, a sad little person no doubt, actually took it upon himself or herself to create an instagram page, simply for the purpose of tagging the person in question and telling them "XYZ go to thelma thinks blog and see what she is writing about you". Wasted effort, as the person in question had already read the post (I actually sent the link) and we'd talked and laughed about it. 

It just makes you wonder about how malevolent some people can be. Like I couldn't just deal, you actually went to create an instagram page just to stir up trouble? Hia! Whomever you are I hope your life is better right now than it was last year because I think only a miserable person would go that far. 

So thankfully, like I said, things started really looking up for me in the later quarters of last year and even more thankfully, they've only gotten better and better. Like, this year for me has been good. It wasn't perfect and it had its moments, but mainly it was fun, laugher, happiness, blessings.. And even in these last few days of the year the blessings are still pouring in. 

Just a few days back I was telling sasha bonΓ© that I don't understand how the one year that I didn't begin with fasting, didn't do any fasting during the year and my prayer life was more lax than it's ever been (and no I'm not at all proud of this), is weirdly the year that blessings upon blessings came my way and doors opened for me. Just days ago while waiting at the airport after being told my flight would be delayed for an hour, I got to talking with one of the passengers who, right there and then gave me some (paying) legal work to do for him. While talking to him I got a call, and another call, and another call. These calls were immediately followed by an alert, and another alert, and another alert. 

Jobs that I neither looked for nor expected, clients that I never even approached much less pitched to, sort me out, asked my price which I gave, even inflated a bit thinking they would haggle (none did) and all immediately paid. 

Oh, earlier the same day I got a rather sizable Christmas gift in cash too. So, already I was on a high, not knowing more was to come.

I looked back at my year and said to my sasha could it be all those years of prayers and fasting that are suddenly getting answered this year, or is it just happenstance?

I don't even want to know the answer biko. All I know is that I've been in a good place all year and that things are getting better. 

Some days ago the devil was deceiving itself, trying to put fear in me, trying to make me panic about 2017 and what if everything goes downhill... This fear began to turn into depression and I started to get angry with everyone around me. I'd be very impatient with my man and start fights for no reason and then the next minute I'm bursting into tears. I was a pain to everyone around me because I was dealing with deeply negative thoughts inside. At some point I began to fear that I was falling into clinical depression, because I began to despair and resign myself to fates I don't even want to write about. 

Soon after I entered into prayer mode. Not even prayer per se, but Praise, aggressive praise. I sang and danced and worshipped and thanked God. I read up on faith and I kept reminding myself that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Surely, great things must be coming my way for the devil to try to distract and distress me. 

Shioor! He lies, as usual sha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. 

I'm very assured that no matter how good yesterday was, and how wonderful today is, the best is still always ahead. Things will only keep getting better for me. 

That is my confession. 

Everything's good, the only "but" right now is the health of a family member, and I'm believing God that this situation only very temporary. 

So yeah, I didn't know how to start writing about this year, but it's that time of the year when people look back and talk about the high and low points of their year. It's when people reflect, and share. Both the good and the bad. 

And I really want to know how 2016 has been for you. 

If it wasn't so great tell us about it. If you read my 2015 flashback you'd remember that I was at the lowest point in my life, I even started considering doing the unthinkable. Yet, my Daddy came through for me. And I believe that the same and even more can happen for you. So let's talk about it.

If it's been mostly good then please share with us. I want to marvel in all the goodness you've experienced this year. I want to feed off the positive energy and key into your God-given blessings. I want to join you in your joy. 

If it's been a mix of both, like I'm sure it was for many, please share with us. These are always the most interesting stories. 

So for you, 2016 was ________________________________

Sunday, 25 December 2016

That Kind Of Christmas...


Guys I'm just laying in bed feeling satisfied af!

So my day started pretty early. I was meant to attend mass with my sister's family but then things came up and we couldn't go again, so I drove nearby to Salvation Ministries just behind Chevron and attended the second service and boy was I glad I went!

You know, thinking about it, we should do a post on "spiritual prostitution", that's what they used to call church-hopping years back, but today nobody talks about that anymore so I guess it's no longer a thing... Like, can't I just attend different churches, there are wayyy too many awesome preachers to limit myself to just one. It's no secret that I love Paul Adefarasin's teaching, but pastor Paul isn't in PH which I happen to be in quite a lot, so I started to attend Salvation Ministries. I find that I love to listen to Pastor David Ibiyeomie. The man is a character and he makes me THINK. I have great respect for anyone who makes me think. Anyways since it's a satellite church, meaning all the branches have the same sermon, I'm able to access him here in Lagos too. Service was short (their services are an hour and thirty minutes) but very loaded. Oh I also signed up to join the workforce for their 5 Nights Of Glory in January. Yay I'm finally a worker πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ.

From church, I drove straight to the mainland to see the parents briefly and drop off their Christmas presents and my mama made me the most scrumptious English breakfast, drove back home in a haze after being fed like I was being led to the slaughter. I all but passed out when I got home. 

Woke up and headed to this ghen ghen christmas party somewhere in Lekki. It was so amazing, oh my God! I danced like no one was watching, I ate like fitfam don't exist, I laughed like there's no tomorrow and I came home extremely satiated. 

Now I'm in bed, bath taken, exfoliating my face with lemon, honey and tumeric, watching my latest download on Netflix (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) and drinking some wine my daddy gave me.

In all it was a pretty nice Christmas. I've had a very beautiful day. I was surrounded by love, family, gifts, good food and great people. 

Tomorrow my mum is cooking and everyone is bringing something and we're having a family party. But I'll leave room in my belly cause later at night tomorrow I'm heading to Chocolate's mum's house. I hear something may be going on there and I've already reserved my seat at the table. Hehe. 

What kind of Christmas Day did you have? Was it a quiet one, a fun one, just another day, a sad one or a very happy one? Let's talk about your Christmas Day"

Merry Christmas Everyone!

It's here my beautiful people. Christmas! 

I pray that today, as we mark the birth of Christ, we experience in our lives, all the blessings that His birth brings. All, especially forgiveness, healing, peace, salvation, deliverance and LOVE!

Have yourself a very merry Christmassy Christmas 😘😘😘. 


Saturday, 24 December 2016

Rant; Why So Many Judginas?

I want to rant on an earlier post on the confession of a lady who always remove her wedding ring to feel funky. The reponse from so many people got me thinking. Evening when Thelma asked them to confess those little secret of theirs. Wow!. Maybe that lady, the other that confessed of 30 body count and l are the only sinners on this blog. Hmmmmm. Side eye to you!!. Yes you!!!! Why is it that people are very quick to judge others while honestly they do worse things behind. The innocent lady was just confessing to free her mind. Look what she got. Angels that left heaven to stay on Thelma blog. Is all good. I accept. No need to go anonymous. Pls if you see Baba God. Tell him one of his daughters Dinma have sinned against him in soooo many ways. Ranging from watching porn. Got lost while relaxing her head on the full breast of one well endowed lady inside a tight taxi last month. Oh please don't forget to tell Baba God she has given in to sex after much pressure.

Ok so the blog reader left this as a comment but I thought to post it. Really some comments on that post irked me sha. Someone was confessing something naughty, she clearly didn't ask for any advice, she made it clear that she was just putting it out there so that others could also share their naughty confessions ( because NEWSFLASH: we all have some) and instead we started to advice her, some "judged" her and judged even those that chose to share. 

And speaking about those that chose to share; the 30 body count... 

You see, some people are virgins, come are celibate and some are sexually active, to each his/her own. 

For those who are sexually active and dating, not everyone is so lucky. Some are lucky to have one or two long term relationships in their twenties, thus they have what you might consider the right body count. Some others have several failed relationships and this naturally leads to a higher number of sex partners than the former have. 

On the other hand, some people just don't attach so much to sex and view it as recreational activity and therefore view "body count" as just a number. 

I really don't think it's anybody's place to judge or question and I honestly don't think there's any such things as the "right" body count for anyone. Thus when Kon asked me this question "@Thelma: What do you think is an okay body count for a 30year old babe?" I had two answers "As many as they please" or "One. Their spouse". 

Many blog readers here are celibate, a number of you are virgins, many aren't. We cannot impose our views and principles on others. This is not a religious blog and one group is no better than the other. Whatever you do with your temple is between and your creator. I also do not even remotely believe that someone who abstains from sex is a better or more moral person than someone who doesn't. Since many of us like to be religious and christian, it might interest us to know that the major principle in Christianity is LOVE, not sexual purity, love. LOL I mean, even David was a badt guy, the baddest of badt guys, to straff someone's wife and even get the person killed on top of that sef. Yet he was still called a man after God's own heart, is one of the most popular characters in the Bible, wrote probably the most read book in the Bible, The Psalms. Go figure...

So anyways, that's a blog readers rant. Feel free to either rant about whatever's getting your goat today, or share your thoughts on this post, or both, or neither...


Ok, Not Sobbing Anymore!

I woke up this morning. 

First thought; it's Christmas Eve. 

Reaction; panic, dismay, indifference

No particular reason, simply that I've never felt less Christmassy all year. Like I've been waiting all month to get the feeling, I've been waiting all month for things to happen that would get me there, I've been waiting for some magic. Waiting for anything at all. Waiting...

Still waiting.

Christmas is tomorrow. 

And when I actually come to think about it, I've got everything to be thankful for. Family is doing fine and everybody is in good health. Career wise things are making sense. Money is looking good and encouraging. Relationship is going really great save for living in two different states. And life in general is great. 

So why am I 😞?

That was my mood earlier today and I'm glad to announce that I'm feeling so much better and I hope everyone is doing great too. 

If we killed your vibe we're sorry please come back, don't goooo 😒



Thursday, 22 December 2016

Julian's "Mukete" Collection. You Should Be There!

Christmas is the season for Rockies!! Where will you be on the 24th of December, from 12pm to 6pm

We have put together pieces for our second pop-up store. The first 10 customers get free Christmas gifts, and as usual when you bring a friend you get 10% off! 

Free mimosas and canapes too! 

Venue: BLD by Play, Admiralty Road, Lekki Phase 1 (just beside KFC). 

Yay! Shopping and munching. Probably two of my favourite things in the world so I'm already thereπŸ˜‚! You should stop by πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Š. 

Should Paedophiles Have Rights Like LGBT People?

Please read the article below, you might find it as interesting as I did, and maybe we can talk about it...

Someone tweeted: “So let me drop a controversial opinion. If LGBT rights are protected because it is their nature… Shouldn’t pedophiles also be protected?”
Should we compare paedophilia – an act that infringes on children’s right, to same-sex sexual intercourse – an act between two consenting adults?
Paedophilia, is a crime, NOT a sexual orientation. Let me break it down.
The focus of paedophilia is sexual activity with a child. The Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989) defines a child as “any human person who has not reached the age of eighteen years”. “Most mental health professionals, however, confine the definition of paedophilia to sexual activity with prepubescent children, who are generally age 13 or younger. The term ephebophilia , derived from the Greek word for ‘youth,’ is sometimes used to describe sexual interest in young people in the first stages of puberty.”
An orientation is a “person’s basic attitudes, beliefs, or feelings in relation to a particular subject or issue.”
What is the issue at hand? Sex. We are talking about sex, not age. Sexual orientation, not age orientation.
Here is another angle:
“A sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of both) to persons of the same sex or gender, opposite sex or gender, or both sexes or more than one gender.”
“Sexual orientation is the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to.”
There was nothing like “age” in those definitions.
Paedophilia is about the age of one of the sex parties, not the sex. AGE.
Ergo, paedophilia is not a sexual orientation because it is about the age, not the sex of one of the participants.
Paedophilia is sexual activity in which one of the participants is below the age of consent. Until we change the age of consent, having sex with someone below the age of consent automatically becomes non-consensual. It is called statutory rape – one of the many types of rape.
For example, changing the age of consent to thirteen years would mean we classify thirteen-year-olds as adults. They can move out if they choose. Heck! We even send them to boarding schools. They can start businesses and get jobs. Sadly, some kids already hawk in traffic. They would have the right to vote. A thirteen-year-old would be able to get married and have kids- who cares about VVF?
Is this what we want? Should our children stop being children because some psychopaths want to have sex with children? No, please, the age of consent should not change. I would be vexed if someone sexualised my fifteen-year-old cousin. Even if the child approaches you, you should be the bigger person!
Guess what! Paedophiles will still be paedophiles even if you reduce the age of consent. They would literally go to cradles and snatch babies to have sex with them. They would groom five-year-olds for marriage. They would fondle kids in dark corners. A pervert would remain a pervert even if you bend the rules to accommodate him/her.
Please, people should not be given rights to have sex with our children. Our children are still our children before anything else. As adults, it is our duty to guide them. If the situation calls for us to protect them, we must.
P.S Two adults consenting to have sex is not criminal because they are not hurting anyone. It is not rape because the key word is consent. CONSENT!
I heard sodomy is criminal and sinful because it’s against the natural order of things. It prevents procreation. “Sodomy is generally anal or oral sex between people”. Are you heterosexual? Do you have anal or oral sex? Well, you are guilty of sodomy. Stop following people to bash what you are guilty of doing. You do oral and anal like your LGBT “counterparts”. Please, rest. In addition, if your “pull-out” game is strong, you’re guilty of the Sin of Onan. (Genesis 38.) If you use contraceptives/condoms, but bash LGBT saying they are against the order of nature because they can’t have kids, well, you are also stopping procreation. Mr. Jailer, let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone. Let people be happy if they are not hurting you. Stop chaining and imprisoning people with your prejudice/preconceived notions.
From Alfred Kinsey’s research, human sexuality vacillates on a continuum. “The human psyche is inherently bisexual”- Freud. Society teaches us who to love and how to love whom we love. Some of us “kill” unconventional relationships and feelings because we are scared of what society would think of us. If you dare yourself and let go of your preconceived notions, if you allow yourself to look past labels, you would find out you are capable of loving so many people regardless of their sex. You love people, not their genitals, right? It is possible to love someone without being sexually attracted to them. Homosexuality is not all about sex, it is emotional/romantic, too. Most importantly, “Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.” – Dorothy Parker.
Please, if two adults are happy in their relationship without hurting us, let us leave them be. LGBT people are not hurting anyone in anyway. What anyone does dans la boudoir is none of our business. “Oh! The media is replete with LGBT themes; kids would watch and listen to learn stuff.” Well, some people already knew they were not attracted to the opposite sex as early as age four. The media did not influence them. If the media wielded such influence, it would have influenced LGBT people to become heterosexual, right?

Written by Cisi Eze for Bella Naija


Let's Do This Fun End Of The Year Awards


So I stumbled on this on @bolinto's instagram and I thought it's fun and I attempted each one, and this is what I think:

1. The "They Call Me Slayer" Award
- Mocheedah

2. The "I Go Love ooo" Award
-Timi & Busola Dakolo

3. The "I Don Blow" Award
- Mr Eazi

4. The "I Must To Stand Up and Dance" Award
-Tekno: Pana

5. The Man Crush Monday" Award
- Banky W. 

Haha. So these are my picks. Let's see yours. 


Wednesday, 21 December 2016

How Smart Are You?

Each picture represents an area in Lagos. An example has already been given. The gold bars and the beach represent the bar beach, bar and beach, get it?. 

I don't want to give expo but #8 is very easy and probably a better example to guide you in answering the others. 

So who are the smart ones among us? 

Who can get an A? That's at least 12 out of the 15

B. 10

C. 7

D. 5

E. 3

F. 0-3


Naughty Confessions.

I'm in a naughty mood this morning and I want to confess. So I am married 3 years now, very pretty and slim even after one. I am very fair, nickname when I was is small oyibo pepper lol. I used to contest in a lot of beauty pageants in university and I have always always received plenty attention everywhere I go. Since I was a teenager I avoid walking on the road because the disturbance I get is just too much. One thing is that anybody who dates me is always very possessive because they feel that all other men want me. Sometimes they won't even let me go out alone. Anyway that was when I was still single. Now am married to the best man in the whole world, you know how people say marriag is hard or bitter, it's not true. I am having a very blissful marriage and everyday gets better and better. Marriage can be sweet if it is with the right person.
     You won't believe it sha but I have just one problem and that is that I miss the attention. In that first year I married I was still feeling high from getting married but these days I miss men chatting me up, offering to buy me things and toasting me. You can think it is silly but all of us are different. Me I really miss the attention, I miss how my phone used to ring and ring from different suitors and all the gifts I used to get. I can never cheat on my husband but I just miss how men used to throw themselves at me. So my confession is that these days when I go out I remove my wedding ring. Last month I went for my friend's wedding when hubby travelled and I removed my ring, that was the first time. Gosh the number of toasters I got na die. I was feeling high as if I drank champagne. Since then when am going out without hubby or my little angel I remove my ring. When my friends ask I say I forgot it at home. I don't give any man my phone number, I just enjoy the attention and playing hard to get before I catwalk away shaking my bombom. lol. 
      Please does any other mrs miss attention from toasters abi na only me waka come? Thelma please post so that everybody can say their own confession so that the blog came be lively. 

LOL Thanks Mrs M for sharing to make the house lively. I have a confession but it's too hot for the blog 🚢🚢🚢.

Or I may go anonymous, on second thought. 

Ok it's your turn now, 'fess up!

"F**K College. Schooling Is a Scam!"

Here's what Billy Willson, a Kansas State University dropout shared on Facebook two days ago. Willson said he dropped out after finishing first semester with a 4.0 GPA, asserting that schooling is a scam.

This opinion has been gaining momentum over the last three or four years. It's possible that it started when us adults started making jokes about 'another day has come and gone and I still didn't use algebra'. Well millenials took it from there and are now debating the importance of schooling and how there's a vast difference from that and education. 

Read his argument below:

Now that i’ve finished my first semester I think it’s safe to say… F**K COLLEGE. Now before all you of you go batshit crazy… I have a few points to make 

1. Yes I have dropped out after finishing my first semester (with a 4.0 GPA). And it’s one of the best choices I’ve ever made. Not because I am averse to learning, but actually the exact opposite. 

2. YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will see it some day. Heck you may have already seen it if you’ve been through college. You are being put thousands into debt to learn things you will never even use. Wasting 4 years of your life to be stuck at a paycheck that grows slower than the rate of inflation. Paying $200 for a $6 textbook. Being taught by teachers who have never done what they’re teaching. Average income has increased 5x over the last 40 years while cost of college has increased 18x. You’re spending thousands of dollars to learn information you won’t ever even use just to get a piece of paper. I once even had an engineer tell me “I learned more in my first 30 days working than in my 5 years of college.” What does that tell you about this system? There are about a million more ways you’re being scammed into this.. just watch the video I’m gonna comment if you want to see more.

3. Colleges are REQUIRING people to spend money taking gen. ed. courses to learn about the quadratic formula (and other shit they will never use) when they could be giving classes on MARRIAGE and HOW TO DO YOUR TAXES. 

4. Gosh there are so many more reasons I could add, but just comment if you disagree or have reasons to add. I’d love to add to the discussion. TAG a friend in college, Tag your parents, share this if you agree, disagree. Let’s just talk about it. Heck post a picture of yourself flipping off something you think is unjust in our society. #F**kInjustice

EDIT: Just released a T-Shirt to help spread the awareness further, Check them out on my page. 10% of profits will got to Boys & Girls Club of America to help empower underprivileged youth to become our future leaders.


Tuesday, 20 December 2016

GIGM Thumbs Up!

If you travel as often as I do within Nigeria you'd know by now how flight prices have skyrocketed and the drastic disparity between flights two months ago and now. And so it happened that when I wanted to book my flights a couple of weeks back, my mouth turned to sandpaper when I saw the price. Economy class tickets cost nearly N40,000, meaning that return tickets would be about 80k. Maybe I would have considered paying if it didn't cost me much less than that to fly to Accra earlier in the year. 

So I sat back and began to wonder if it was worth it. While I stalled I decided to google God Is Good Motors and I remembered that they have a very roomy Mercedes (I think) bus that leaves very early in the morning. So I googled and I was directed to their website. I went to the page for booking and I moved through it very fluidly. Barely seconds later I'd gotten to the booking page and I was shocked by how easy and seamless it was. And sure that there would be a problem somewhere, because Nigerian service providers, I opted instead to call their customer care and speak to an actual human being. 

At first I wasn't expecting the numbers to go through, and when it did and it rang I wasn't expecting anyone to pick up, and when he did, I was expecting a gruff reception. What I got instead was a warm response by an extremely patient man whose name I learnt is Elijah. Elijah took painstaking time to answer all the questions I asked and referred me back to the website to do my booking. Before I hung up I thanked him profusely, I told him I was surprised by how well he handled the call and how impressed I was and encouraged him to continue the good work, it's quite rare in Nigeria.  

Booking my ticket was much easier than booking an airline ticket and I got a text immediately afterwards with my confirmation code. 

I got to the Ajah park the next day before 6am and when I told the attendant my name, she handed me my ticket which was already printed out and waiting for my arrival. 

The bus was slated to leave by 6am but it left 30 minutes later which was partly due to some of the passengers and their wahala

The trip was the most comfortable I've experienced by public transportation. The seats were comfortable and there was more than enough leg room for timber&caliber (my sizable legs. Lol). The driver did not exceed his speed limit and I was surprised to find that even during occasional traffic when other bus drivers turned around and took one-way, ours forged ahead and remained on the right lane. I learnt that it's against that policy to go against traffic laws. 

We got to the East in record time, and safely too. (Thank God for journey mercies and all the journey mercies he affords me in my plenty travels). 

It's been a number of years since I travelled by public transport. I rarely compromise on my comfort so I avoid Nigerian buses like a plague. Traveling with GIGM priority bus was a great exception. 

Now I understand that their other buses are not as comfortable so I'd recommend that they raise the price for the "priority buses" and make them available to as many who would want to pay for it, if need be. And also find ways to restore more order at their parks because the crowds can be overwhelming. 

In the days after my trip I became obsessed with learning more about God Is Good Motors and why their standards are much higher than their counterparts. I learnt that the owner was assassinated in his mid-40s (even after the sum of N60,000,000 was allegedly paired to his kidnappers) leaving his first son who was just 21 at the time to take the reins. 

The young man, Chidi Ajaer, who was barely a teen is the one who has transformed the company from what it used to be. He was always involved in his father's business since he was a boy, he attended business seminars both locally and abroad right from when he was a young teen and he would come back and discuss all that they were taught with his dad who would then discuss his vision for their company and how they can apply what he'd learnt in the seminar to it. 

Of course it wasn't easy for someone that young, especially being in charge of people much older than he was. But still, as a true leader does, he was able to convey his vision to his staff and get them to work with him. One of the most important principles that he imparted, which they must not compromise on, is customer service. No wonder Elijah was so delightful to talk to!

This is not a paid ad or anything, and of course there is much room for improvement, but one must give credit where credit is due. Good Is Good Motors has gone beyond their counterparts to provide greater value and I'm certain that their vision to rule public transportation in Nigeria would soon be accomplished. 

Other transport companies, and even all of us must learn from this. Mediocrity will always only give you mediocre results. 

I'm flying back to Lagos tonight because I booked this ticket way ahead of time, although it was still a bit pricy to be honest 😑. But I'm happy to know that I now have an alternative for when I'd rather travel by road πŸ˜ƒ.

What are your experiences traveling with public transportation in Nigeria? What transport companies do you favour and which are an absolute "Never ever!" for you? What would you like to see improved on? Or do you just generally avoid them in all entirety? LOL. 

Monday, 19 December 2016

AS Lovers (When Love Is Not Enough). -Kene Francis

They were the most interesting university love birds. They had that hotsy-totsy kind of affection that is believed to only exist between mythical soulmates - inseparable best friends that complimented each other in many ways - and the fervor of their love was so intense it was almost palpable. They were always seen together, laughing, playing, chatting, studying and indulging each other. You could tell that they'd never trade each other's companionship for anything in this world. In all these, they remained dead set on maintaining a chaste mind and body. Admirable.

Their relationship progressed as predicted by their peers and in few years after graduation they planned to get married, but nature dealt them its iron fist in the velvet glove of genotype. They were found to be incompatible and medically unfit to make babies ... ambushed by the paradox where forgoing their love was the true act of love. In the months that followed was the inevitable emotional and mental gallimaufry of anguish, hate, denial, negotiations for compromise, acceptance, dejection and a heartrending that would scar them for a very long time.

The short story is a product of my 'idle-man' times when I lie on my bed and wallow in my thoughts. 

Oftentimes I feel that I'll end up like the characters in the story. That I'll find love that's unreal and the genotype ish will go on and ruin it and it'll be too difficult for me to do the needful and let go and things will get messed up (God help me). One time, in a discussion I suggested to my mum that an AS person can marry another AS and they'll just adopt kids and forget about making babies. I can't begin to tell you what ensued but I can however tell you that I will not be making such utterances within 100m of my parents again.

For those of us who are (AA) we may never fully be able to relate with this challenge that members of the other genotypes face. I've heard such heartbreaking stories of lovers star crossed simply because they both belong to the AS genotype. I've met a few who were so in love and courageously went ahead to wed and years later whisper secretly that they wish they hadn't. A few among these were lucky (if this is due to luck alone) to have only two children, neither of whom have the SS genotype. 

Kene, just maybe you should do like those who on the first date, ask "What is your genotype?" so that they can save themselves the time, emotion and stress. Some ask even before the first date. Lol, no time! I know it's not at all that simple, but it does help. 
I hear there are ways around it now. Of course many wouldn't want to go throught the dread of getting pregant and aborting the babies with SS (that sounds like a horror. merely thinking about it). So for a few, who can afford it, there's now the Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) which a number of hospitals here in Nigeria now successfully carry it out. The problem however is that it's really expensive and only very few can afford it. I hear this procedure used to cost about $20,000 in the US but it's no longer that costly. 

But enough of the jabbering. Kene would really like to know your thoughts on this matter. I would also love to hear from those who are AS and what their experiences have been so far
Oh I learnt a new word by the way, Gallimaufry. Haha, thanks! 


The Wedding Party vs It's Her Day?

Sunshine, Kabuoy and everyone else, my apologies for not posting comments all weekend. It's not for lack of trying. Between last week and now I've been in Lagos, Owerri, Calabar, Asaba, Ph and Enugu. At some point I left my iPad in one of this places and got it this morning. I tried to upload comments through my phone but it just didn't werk. 

Ps. This is NOT a movie review. 

I saw The Wedding Party on Saturday night and I was quite impressed. Was all the hype worth it? I really cannot answer that question in the affirmative. I'm probably biased because the hype was overly excessive, me thinks. And you know what happens when that happens, expectations are extremely high.  

However, The Wedding Party is a good movie, one that has raised the bar for Nollywood, one that inspires hope for the Nigerian movie industry, one that actually makes you proud to be a Nigerian! Oh, and you've just got to give it to Kemi Adetiba, This is the first movie she's directing and she did a fantastic job at it, you can tell that it was directed by a perfectionist. Also, it's obvious that Mo Abudu spared no expenses and does nothing by half measures. They went all out with that wedding. 

Each actor was well suited for the role. 

Sola Shobowale singlehandedly made that movie a hit! Her theatrics were just amazing and freaking hilarious. She was your typical yoruba mother, very dramatic and excitable. That woman is funny for days and her character was over the top yet her acting was very natural that it felt so real, like you're watching her right in front of you and not on a screen. 

Abilaba, RMD and Ireti Doyle were great too, and each were perfect for their roles. Ireti Doyle in particular. Oh I can't get over the moment she was dancing into the wedding reception, such grace and poise, such swag! But AH!!!! Don't try Sola Sobowale's dance moves either, I almost fell on the floor laughing, it was both good and hilarious at the same time!

Adesuwa Etomi, well she's great. She's a very pretty girl who acts very passionately. I think she fit that role perfectly. However her husband, Banky W... I just don't know. To be honest he is not a bad actor at all, not by any standards. And remember he's also new at movies too. He played his role really well, thanks to the director, perhaps. However if he's seriously considering making a transition to movies then he must work on improving his acting. Actually, there's always room for improvement for everyone...

Beverly Naya is bae. We'll just leave it at that. 😍. LOL. 

Somkele Idhalama was great too, as was the Caucasian lady who played the role of the second bridesmaid, very natural and funny. Let's not forget the recalcitrant Bestman Ikechukwu too. 

Frank Donga, as usual made us laugh, without even trying. Haha. 

Emma OhmyGod is obviously everybody's darling. The second he appeared on the screen before he even said a word everyone started to clap, myself included!

Zainab Balogun did a great job too. But there was just something wrong and I don't know why. Her character, the psychotic wedding planner, was supposed to evoke laughter, and she actually played the role really well. However, nobody was laughing. I'm not quite sure why. I don't know if her prettiness was distracting or if people didn't find her convincing enough, or if she was overshadowed by the other, more boisterous characters. But something just seemed off, I think. 

In all its a very good movie and one you really should see. I think everyone who watched it was happy that they did and the reviews I've seen online by other movie goers were great too. Everyone thinks it's an awesome movie. 

The minute the movie wrapped up my friend said "I really liked the movie sha, almost as much as I like that other one". 

"The other one" he was referring to was Its Her Day which we saw together a few months ago. Even up until last night he and I were still talking about it. And that's probably the other reason I'm biased about The Wedding Party being worthy of all the hype. Maybe because Bovi's It's Her Day got way less hype, publicity and obviously much less funding, yet (in my opinion) is a much more interesting and hilarious movie. 

Shaffy Bello, Bovi, Inidima Okojie, Toni Tones, Omoni Oboli and all the others did a bang up job. Oh Shaffy Bello was just glorious! The others impressed me too, especially Bovi. 

I'd just imagined if It's Her Day was produced by the same set of people that did The Wedding Party, Lord knows it would have been groundbreaking, earthshaking... Just too much! Please if you haven't seen Its Her Day, this festive season would be a good time to do so. That movie would leave you in stitches yet make you wonder about the proposal culture we see these days on social media, among other facades. 

In all, both movies among many others are great and I recommend that you watch them if you already haven't. 

So, have you seen either or both movies? What are your thoughts. And what other recent Nollywood releases did you find interesting?

Dear Thelma (I'm Having Second Thoughts After He Slapped Me).

Pls post this, I need advice I'm very down. 

I'm supposed to get married at Easter next year and up until last week I was very excited because I was so sure I'm marrying the right man for me. We have dated for four years and we have never had any big fights aside from usual misunderstanding etc. We went out on Friday night with his friends, one of them newly started dating this chic that is hot sha. As in she's still in her 3rd year in Uni and her nickname is Nigerian Barbie even on social media, because she is very slim but her curves na die. You know, skinny and tiny waist but wide hips and big bum and quite busty too. And of course she plays up her sexuality so her hair; "Funmi Hair", false lashes, contoured face etc. 

The first day we met her on Thursday as in I myself could tell her she was hot and if I could then of course my fiancΓ© who is a guy would notice it too. So I wasn't very surprised when he made a remark to me about how she is very shapy, how "she has nice curves mehnnn". I smiled and let it slide. On Friday afternoon we went to hang out with them in her boyfriends house and she was wearing something like a lingerie. Later she got up to go and change and my boyfriend eyes was just glued to her. I tried to ignore it but next thing he started telling me "babe this girl is very sexy, Kai! She is too sexy. She's so freaking sexy". I was so mad honestly. 

I know we have a kind of relationship where we are quite free with each other and if we see someone that is hot on social media or maybe even on the road we will talk about it together and just laugh about it. But this one was getting too much. My fiancΓ© is not blind and I know he admires other chics but truth is that in 4 years of dating I don't think he has cheated on me, or I have just never caught him, and it's not for lack of trying. I know, and everyone knows how much he loves me, even when I'm not in the country and he hangs out with his friends, their own chics tell me how it's crazy that they never see him with anyone else even when I travel for months. 

Going forward, when we went clubbing that night, nobody was dancing until they started playing some reggae jams. My boyfriend is a raggae fan, and apparently so is nigerian barbie. Both of them practically jumped up at the same time and started dancing, but not together sha. But this chic can dance oh. Next thing bobo started to stare at her practically drooling. Kai I was embarassed, even her own boyfriend wasn't looking at her like that. When he eventually sat down I had to beg him to stop staring at her like that. Of course on one hand I felt embarrassed, on the other hand I also felt insecure but that's not even the problem behind this mail so I will cut the long story short. 

When we were driving to the hotel I still brought up the issue of him staring at her because I wanted him to admit it and apologize, so that next time he wil be more careful. He however kept denying it and this led to an argument in the car, with him shouting at me to shut up. I refused and next thing I know this guy gave me a dirty resounding slap on my face. Like the kind that deafen and blind you for some seconds. I swear I saw bright lights and I'm still having headaches on the side he slapped me. 

I immediately jumped out of the car and he started shouting on me to get back into the car. I refused n tried to get my bag from inside but grabbed the collar of my dress that I should enter the car and I still refused, this resulted in him tearing my dress (new dress btw, one of my christmas shopping) into shreds. I ran into the hotel practically naked, but thank God it was like 3am, only the receptionist saw me. 

Since the next morning till now he is still begging and swearing that he was high and I should forgive him. We came back to Abuja last night and he is saying he wants to go and he has told his brothers what happened, they called me to beg too. If he was a mere boyfriend I could easily forgive but this person is about to be my husband and I cannot deal with domestic violence. In our fours years of dating he has never touched me before so I'm tempted to believe him that it was a one off n only because of the alcohol, but on second thought, everybody says it starts with just one slap. Some people even say that some men are not abusive during the relationship but start after marriage. So I don't know whether that was a sign. 

Please what do you think I should do? I can't tell anyone in my family or friends because I don't want them to know. Of course I still love him but I don't want to make a mistake. Please I know I sound stupid but is there anyone that has experienced that kind of one off physical assault and it never never happened again? 

Thank you. 

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Kon On The TTB HotSeat.

Guys it's another TTB Hotseat and today Kon is spilling. Sit back and enjoy as you read and share your thoughts. 

Do you believe in God? Why?
-I believe because I just believe. No extra reason.

Do you believe in Heaven/Hell? If no, where do you believe souls go after death?
-I believe in Heaven. Because the Bible says something like that. And all the pastors say it (well except Jehovah witnesses)

Do you believe in JESUS CHRIST? If yes ... as at this point, do you consider
yourself a true born again?

- Yap. I believe in Jesus. Im born again because I believe in Jesus. Its that simple. So yap, Ill be in heaven.

Are you team Trump or Clinton?
- I dont care about them. America will still be great with either one of em. Cops will still kill black people. White people will still be psychos. Gay rights will prevail blah blah. Nothing will change.

Do you sing in the shower?
- Not really. These days I just do it like a quickie. Back in the days I used to sing worship songs. Now that Im a chronic sinner I cant....Jesus save me.

Are you a morning person?
- Nope. I dont get the people that wake up early in the morning and just start talking. They should stay away from me. And I hate it when people ask "how was your night?" Errrrr....I slept. I dont know.

Do you take alcohol? If yes what is that thing you can do only when you have Dutch
courage, but can't do otherwise?

-I drink. There isnt much difference between Kon and intoxicated Kon. Same thing. So there isnt anything I cant do sober. My mom says Im brave

Do you have a tattoo?
- Nope. But Im gon get one soon.

Have you ever gone on a blind date, if yes
what was the experience like?

-Yea. Back in the days. Met this super beautiful and intelligent babe. We had good conversation. And she had big boobs. Even graduated with a 1st class. But guess what...she had a kid (She was open with me) I was looking to straff only, wasnt looking for anything serious. So to straff and run away from a babe that is a single mother would have been cruel. So I just freed (Im nice like that)

Have you ever had sex with a person whose name you didn’t know? One night stand?
-Yea. Cant remember her name or what she looks like. Maybe na witch sef, who knows?

Your sexual fetishes?
- *lips sealed*

How many times have you cheated on your wife?
- Never. *straight face* You people want to put me in trouble.

When you lost your virginity?
- Pretty late actually. Around my 18th year. I think

Ever taken advantage of a woman sexually (rape)?
- Nope. Agros never got to that level

Your most embarrassing moment ever?
-I peed in my pants in Jss3 in the middle of class. The teacher was wicked and I was afraid to tell him I wanted to use the toilet. When I finally summoned the courage, as I walked to the front of the class to talk to the teacher. All the pee just started coming out. Embarrassing stuff.

The football club you support?
- Not a football freak. But if I gotta pick Ill go with Chelsea

Football or politics?
- None of em.

Ever wasted someone (taken them 6 feet under) with a gun or..?
- Hahahaha. Now this is a funny question. (Jeez who asked this question? Never knew sociopaths also read my blog). 

Do you do hard drugs?
- Nope. You guys must think Im some sort of hard guy. Hard drugs? For what na?

Are you a virgin in the backdoor area?
- Dude. I'm gon die a virgin in that area

When you made your first million?
- Been a salary earner all my hustling years. So cant really say I've MADE millions

Your body count?
-Not many really. But I need calculator and 1 or 2 days to refresh my memory

Your TTB crush?
-Hmm... Nobody really (Whispers *My wife might read this.Im not trying to die tonight*)

True love or $2 million?
-True love. Nothing sweeter than the feeling. Money cant buy it. Whats the essence of life?

If not your present profession/job, what would you be doing?
- I want to be a lawyer in Yankee in my next life. Nigerian lawyers suffer too much.

Real name and the origin of kon?
- Surname is Kon-Ajayi. Google me! Kon comes from my fathers name. Kolade Olumide Nathaniel

What's your favourite music genre?
- Rap

Do you pay your tithe?
- In recent times: No

Have you ever used viagra and the likes?
- Hahaha. I'm all natural energy baby *Wink

If you had the opportunity, what would you do differently as a President of Nigeria?
- Legalize prostitution
- Legalize weed
- Have referendum for Nigeria to decide if they want to break up or not
- Enter Niger Delta guns blazing with the full strength of the military.
- Champion complete Govt transparency. All these crap that we dont know what Govt officials earn will stop
- Many other unpopular things

How would you handle ND Militancy and Boko Haram?
- Kill all of em. No jokes. You fuck with my people- you die. Guns blazing!

How would you give a 4-year-old girl the sex talk?
- I wont. All I'll ring in her head is that nobody must touch her in certain places. If anybody does she should tell daddy n mummy. 4yrs is too young to hear about sex.

How would you define success?
- Success is achieving the things you want to achieve. Irrespective of whether its big or small

What is your view on Feminism?
- I swear I dont get it

Your worst nightmare?
- I cant say it. There are witches in the air that will use it to test my faith.

The "baddest" thing you have ever done?
- Ah baba! I plead the fifth

Would you forgive your wife for cheating on you?
- Of Course. Like I always say, cheating is not the worst thing that can happen in a marriage.

Any parenting tip?
- Never instill fear
- Allow absolute freedom of speech
- Encourage wide imagination

(Kene's request): P.S Attach a picture of you after providing
the accurate answers.

- Una don see my picture already

*Continues sipping my henny


Thank you KON, it was fun reading this. Don't mind those people that are asking if you're a murderer and an adulterer. πŸ˜•πŸ˜¨πŸ˜‚

And thank you other great people for your questions. 

Who would you like to see on the next TTB Hotseat? 


Wednesday, 14 December 2016

7 Types Of People After MMM "Crashed".

Social media was flooded with news of the MMM crash yesterday. Just on Saturday morning, my friend  Mr Q called this lady friend of his who'd been trying to talk him into investing in MMM but he's just not the kind of person who'd put his money in that sort of thing. He called her to tell her he was hearing that some panic is being created in their MMM community and if she has cleared out her money. She became very animated, saying MMM can never crash, and the government is jealous and MMM has even increased the interest from 30% to 50% and MMM is infallible, it's not a ponzy scheme, it's here's to stay and it's only getting stronger and what not. In fact her boyfriend was with her and he took the phone from her and began to shout rather unnecessarily that MMM is a legitimate lifesaver and there's nothing anybody can do or say that can make MMM fail, the government can only try but it is them that will fail instead, people should leave them alone to do their MMM and nobody is forcing others to join. 

Two days later the MMM website froze. 

Mr Q called his lady friend and until now she's not taking his calls. 

Mr Q is gloating. He belongs to the first category of people post MMM crash.  

1. The Gloaters. The ones who are happy about the crash. The ones who kept on trying to warn MMM people that it's a ponzy scheme and an unsustainable one at that, like all ponzy schemes. These people are perversely overjoyed by this crash, it's almost amazing to watch. 

2. The Relieved. These are those people that were tempted to put their money in MMM but haven't because they either didn't have the money to or still had some reservations about the scheme. It also includes those who were planning to do so for the first time this month but hadn't gotten round to it. They're singing songs of praises right now. 

3. The Shamed. These are the MMM warriors who carried swords and amour and fought for the dignity of MMM, they are those who all but swore that MMM was the gospel and were willing to fight for what they believed in. They were those who sometimes even shamed those who refused to join MMM. Some of them began to adopt an air of arrogance and self-importance. And now that their Saviour has shamed them, they're.... well, shamed...

4. The Unshakable. These are the MMM people who just like the shamed, could swear on the altar of MMM but unlike the shamed, their faith in MMM is unshakable, it's unbreakable, it is unmovable! They believe  that come January 2017 things would go back to normal and are planning to pour even more money, and win even more souls for MMM. They are unshakable. 

5. The Nail-Biters. These people still have monies in MMM. They're mostly quiet during this period, maybe out of sorrow, maybe out of fear, maybe they're silent because they're mumbling fervent yet solemn prayers to God that nothing bad happens to their precious money so that they can jejely collect it back. These ones are unlikely to "reinvest" in MMM. 

6. The Indifferent. Those of us who just have and always will, when we hear MMM just go *blehhh*. 

7. Oh let's not forget the "Lucky Bastards". Those that cashed out just a few days to the crash. I think I've got a few friends who belong to this category. In fact, one of them who used to be on team #Unshakable told me just two weeks back that after her last payment she wouldn't be putting any more money back in because she thinks it's getting shaky. These ones are also "relieved". Lol. (Thanks Punintended). 

Just my humble observation. Did I miss any category? Please fill me in. Well Good news is it has not crashed per se. They say the site will come back up in January and things would go back to normal, or perhaps even better. Some people on the other hand say the same thing happened in South Africa in May and they're still waiting for the site to come back up. 

So do you belong to any of these categories? 

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