I'm typing with shaky fingers, not quite sure what I have to say. I've stayed off the blog for this same reason, not sure what I have to say.
I just feel like one year is coming to an end and so...
So what really? I do not know.
I'm so glad that this year wasn't like the last. Last year ended well but the first two quarters were disastrous for me. I remember writing about it, simply to share, which I thought was safe since the dark moments were past. And so in that post I wrote about a public personality that I'd been working with and how our relationship came to an abrupt end and how distraught I was. I made no mention of names or any personal detail. Yet someone from the blog, a sad little person no doubt, actually took it upon himself or herself to create an instagram page, simply for the purpose of tagging the person in question and telling them "XYZ go to thelma thinks blog and see what she is writing about you". Wasted effort, as the person in question had already read the post (I actually sent the link) and we'd talked and laughed about it.
It just makes you wonder about how malevolent some people can be. Like I couldn't just deal, you actually went to create an instagram page just to stir up trouble? Hia! Whomever you are I hope your life is better right now than it was last year because I think only a miserable person would go that far.
So thankfully, like I said, things started really looking up for me in the later quarters of last year and even more thankfully, they've only gotten better and better. Like, this year for me has been good. It wasn't perfect and it had its moments, but mainly it was fun, laugher, happiness, blessings.. And even in these last few days of the year the blessings are still pouring in.
Just a few days back I was telling sasha boné that I don't understand how the one year that I didn't begin with fasting, didn't do any fasting during the year and my prayer life was more lax than it's ever been (and no I'm not at all proud of this), is weirdly the year that blessings upon blessings came my way and doors opened for me. Just days ago while waiting at the airport after being told my flight would be delayed for an hour, I got to talking with one of the passengers who, right there and then gave me some (paying) legal work to do for him. While talking to him I got a call, and another call, and another call. These calls were immediately followed by an alert, and another alert, and another alert.
Jobs that I neither looked for nor expected, clients that I never even approached much less pitched to, sort me out, asked my price which I gave, even inflated a bit thinking they would haggle (none did) and all immediately paid.
Oh, earlier the same day I got a rather sizable Christmas gift in cash too. So, already I was on a high, not knowing more was to come.
I looked back at my year and said to my sasha could it be all those years of prayers and fasting that are suddenly getting answered this year, or is it just happenstance?
I don't even want to know the answer biko. All I know is that I've been in a good place all year and that things are getting better.
Some days ago the devil was deceiving itself, trying to put fear in me, trying to make me panic about 2017 and what if everything goes downhill... This fear began to turn into depression and I started to get angry with everyone around me. I'd be very impatient with my man and start fights for no reason and then the next minute I'm bursting into tears. I was a pain to everyone around me because I was dealing with deeply negative thoughts inside. At some point I began to fear that I was falling into clinical depression, because I began to despair and resign myself to fates I don't even want to write about.
Soon after I entered into prayer mode. Not even prayer per se, but Praise, aggressive praise. I sang and danced and worshipped and thanked God. I read up on faith and I kept reminding myself that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Surely, great things must be coming my way for the devil to try to distract and distress me.
Shioor! He lies, as usual sha 😂😂😂.
I'm very assured that no matter how good yesterday was, and how wonderful today is, the best is still always ahead. Things will only keep getting better for me.
That is my confession.
Everything's good, the only "but" right now is the health of a family member, and I'm believing God that this situation only very temporary.
So yeah, I didn't know how to start writing about this year, but it's that time of the year when people look back and talk about the high and low points of their year. It's when people reflect, and share. Both the good and the bad.
And I really want to know how 2016 has been for you.
If it wasn't so great tell us about it. If you read my 2015 flashback you'd remember that I was at the lowest point in my life, I even started considering doing the unthinkable. Yet, my Daddy came through for me. And I believe that the same and even more can happen for you. So let's talk about it.
If it's been mostly good then please share with us. I want to marvel in all the goodness you've experienced this year. I want to feed off the positive energy and key into your God-given blessings. I want to join you in your joy.
If it's been a mix of both, like I'm sure it was for many, please share with us. These are always the most interesting stories.
So for you, 2016 was ________________________________