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Wednesday, 14 December 2016

3 Types Of Men I Just Don't Want...





A man who cheats is many women's biggest problem or fear. An abusive man is an absolute nightmare that no one should have to live with. A stingy man is said to be even worse than an unfaithful man. Most women run away from these, your truly included. But these other three also make me want to put my shoes on and take a walk. They are. 

The Unapologetic. He just cannot say he is sorry. It's either he feels he is never wrong, or when he accepts he is wrong, he feels his wrongdoing is justified, or when he knows he is wrong and unjustified, he is simply too proud to express remorse. My problem with this kind of partner is that time and time again you're going to keep forgiving someone who hasn't even asked you for forgiveness. This happening over time can lead to resentment, it could lead to bitterness from so many unresolved issues. Worse yet, it could lead to unrest and ugly fights in the home, because time might come when you no longer want to forgive without being asked, you no longer want to feel like you're being walked over, you want him to take actually responsibility for his slip ups! And so no, I wouldnt want to spend the rest of my life with this type of man. As humans beings, no matter how much we love each other, arguments and misunderstandings are bound to happen. Forever is way to long to spend with someone who can't say "I'm sorry" when they hurt me. (Mind you, this also applies to females too ). 


The Unforgiving. This brother is even worse than the unapologetic. The unapologetic is simply unapologetic. In fact, more often than not he knows he is wrong but is just to proud too admit it, and that's not so impossible to live with. The unforgiving on the other hand, the words "I am sorry" mean nothing to him. Even when you go beyond saying the words and go further to SHOW that you are sorry and try to make things right, they just cannot accept your apology. These ones are deep and very dangerous. They are quick to keep malice and can comfortably do so for extended periods of time, even while sleeping on the same bed with you. You can talk and beg until your throat gets sore, they just wouldn't budge. Even in the most minor offenses they take the greatest offense and hold on tightly to their indignation! These one drain you emotionally. Nobody should have to put up with the unforgiving life partner. Life is way to short and wayyy to long to live in such unnecessary agony. (Just like the above, this applies to women too. Although being a Nigerian wife these days means that you have to forgive all sorts whether or whether'nt your forgiveness has been sort, so...)


The "Okay being Okay": This wouldn't be an absolute deal breaker but I pray I don't end up with him. The okay being okay is Unambitious. He has an okay job, he drives an okay car, he lives in an okay apartment and he is okay with that. Contentment is good but this kind of contentment can be near disastrous when he becomes a husband and a father. He sees no reason why you should strive to live in a better apartment, in a better part of town. He says things like "Children who go to inexpensive  schools still turn out ok so why should I spend so so and so amount on XYZ school?" when you want to put your kids in a competitive school. He considers things like travel and exposure as frivolous luxuries that one need not bother with. 
     My problem with such a man is that he rarely ever amounts to much. He doesn't aspire to greatness or wealth and so it just doesn't come to him! Even if such a man makes a fine husband, the children deserve more. Yes, even if I'm successful supermom who can give her kids the world, I want daddy to be superdad too. They deserve a father that WANTS to give them the best of everthing not just the basics. More importantly they deserve a father that inspires them, one that may not be wealthy but visibly aspires to have more. I don't want the "Okay being Okay" because my children deserve better. 



We're all different, different perceptions, different tolerance levels. The flaws I feel I can't handle are flaws that you may not even consider flaws, and vice versa. So tell me the flaws you'd walk away from in a heart beat. 

29 comments:

  1. i dont even know.... i love like that and tolerate just anything if i really love you as long as you dont hit me.

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  2. i dont even know.... i love like that and tolerate just anything if i really love you as long as you dont hit me nor cheat on me to my knowledge. when u r married ud realise u can easily over look a lot of things like saying sorry. some men would say sorry per second and do same shit all over again. as a woman u need great shock absorber these days. nothing should get to u n when it does rise about it immediately.

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    Replies
    1. ...then ur good. U don't have any problem...

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  3. A. The 'lie lie vampire' men as my mum calls them, these kind of men lie for a living. He would lie and tell more lies to cover it up,worse still is his refusal to accept when caught in a lie. Very pretentious beings.

    B. The emotionally damaged: this kind of man would never admit his feelings for you. His excuse is the emotional baggage of his past, so a babe lied to you and used you in the past....so?must I pay for her sins?What if I were to return the favour,and decide to put you through stuffs simply because of what an ex did. Most times am like, dude it has happened,move the hell on.

    Favourite

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    Replies
    1. Lol at "lie lie vampire". True, they lie about everything. Cant stand such men..

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  4. I had an unapologetic boyfriend. Always making me feel guilty

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  5. Hmm very right the most annoying is th unforgivable ones. God help us

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  6. arghhhhhhhhhhhh you kept writing 'to' instead of 'too'!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Lol, children at IDP camps wld appreciate another English teacher...

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    2. Savage!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sasha bone oooo!

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  7. i love this damn!!!
    i feel same and wouldn't want to manage any of them so help me God

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  8. My own question is this.What do you do when they have those flaws and you can't leave?TNHW

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    Replies
    1. carry your cross and turn a side eye. or learn to do do me i do u. that way nobody hurts or the other person learns. some pple need to see a reflection of themselves to change

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    2. I am too young to carry cross jare...I think I would stick to the do me I do you mentality...Thanks.TNHW

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    3. Do me I do you is one of the fastest routes to self destruct. We must stay true to ourselves and hold our heads up all the time.
      I would hate somebody that doesn't communicate, find a way to talk about the flaws and see if your partner will address them. Somebody that loves you would definitely address them.

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    4. Yes true... I talk a lot to my partner n he listens n changes for a day or two, but it's a gradual process I believe, so I keep talking , not nagging o... talking!!! That helps anyways.
      Truth is if a man loves u, he can change for u...

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  9. Every man is a work in progress- u cannot have it all in one package! The good man u see today, had some flaws that he must have worked on to become better.
    There are good men out there, but the prayer n fasting u will do... no be here oooo! Lol...

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  10. The ones that's talk too much, o boy you will end up being the topic on everyone s lips, even when you have done nothing wrong they spread lies about you.
    The boys that feel threatened by a woman 's success and will do everything to break you

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaha. Never thought of the talkative types...lol

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    2. Yes ohhh,can't standmen who talk too much because more often than not,theyend up lieing about stuffs. maybel

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  11. I'm of the opinion that Stingy people can kill. Especially the ones that are stingy to themselves #tufiakwa.

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  12. Guys that feel the woman has all the work to build the relationship. They contribute little or no quota to making the relationship except for their assumed manly roles.

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  13. Am currently with someone who.has issues forgiving,he knows and boast about it,and i wonder how he copes being like that,I care about him a lot that I justoverlook but there are times I.just can't deal biko. M

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  14. I was with the "Okay being Okay" man, I left him because of that. Not to have any ambition is a very horrible thing. And the guy that talks too much or doesn't know when to be quiet is just as bad.

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