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AS Lovers (When Love Is Not Enough). -Kene Francis





They were the most interesting university love birds. They had that hotsy-totsy kind of affection that is believed to only exist between mythical soulmates - inseparable best friends that complimented each other in many ways - and the fervor of their love was so intense it was almost palpable. They were always seen together, laughing, playing, chatting, studying and indulging each other. You could tell that they'd never trade each other's companionship for anything in this world. In all these, they remained dead set on maintaining a chaste mind and body. Admirable.

Their relationship progressed as predicted by their peers and in few years after graduation they planned to get married, but nature dealt them its iron fist in the velvet glove of genotype. They were found to be incompatible and medically unfit to make babies ... ambushed by the paradox where forgoing their love was the true act of love. In the months that followed was the inevitable emotional and mental gallimaufry of anguish, hate, denial, negotiations for compromise, acceptance, dejection and a heartrending that would scar them for a very long time.

The short story is a product of my 'idle-man' times when I lie on my bed and wallow in my thoughts. 

Oftentimes I feel that I'll end up like the characters in the story. That I'll find love that's unreal and the genotype ish will go on and ruin it and it'll be too difficult for me to do the needful and let go and things will get messed up (God help me). One time, in a discussion I suggested to my mum that an AS person can marry another AS and they'll just adopt kids and forget about making babies. I can't begin to tell you what ensued but I can however tell you that I will not be making such utterances within 100m of my parents again.

****
For those of us who are (AA) we may never fully be able to relate with this challenge that members of the other genotypes face. I've heard such heartbreaking stories of lovers star crossed simply because they both belong to the AS genotype. I've met a few who were so in love and courageously went ahead to wed and years later whisper secretly that they wish they hadn't. A few among these were lucky (if this is due to luck alone) to have only two children, neither of whom have the SS genotype. 

Kene, just maybe you should do like those who on the first date, ask "What is your genotype?" so that they can save themselves the time, emotion and stress. Some ask even before the first date. Lol, no time! I know it's not at all that simple, but it does help. 
I hear there are ways around it now. Of course many wouldn't want to go throught the dread of getting pregant and aborting the babies with SS (that sounds like a horror. merely thinking about it). So for a few, who can afford it, there's now the Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) which a number of hospitals here in Nigeria now successfully carry it out. The problem however is that it's really expensive and only very few can afford it. I hear this procedure used to cost about $20,000 in the US but it's no longer that costly. 


But enough of the jabbering. Kene would really like to know your thoughts on this matter. I would also love to hear from those who are AS and what their experiences have been so far
Oh I learnt a new word by the way, Gallimaufry. Haha, thanks! 

.

Comments

  1. I hear genotype results change (or maybe one was wrong? I'll have to do another test..).

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am AA and O+
    All my family members are AA
    Thank God for that




    Bv Beloved

    ReplyDelete
  3. My pastor doesn't believe in this AS and AA thing and he discourages any form of discussion about it, even intending couples don't go for any test and so far there's not been any issue of SS and the likes. So I think FAITH has a huge role to play in the life of an AS couple. With God all things are possible and He is able to change situations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "So I think FAITH has a huge role to play in the life of an AS couple."
      Let me assume this is just due to a misunderstanding of what you think genotype is all about.

      Delete
    2. "Faith" of your pastor or that of the intending couples???
      Education is very important people of this world!

      Delete
    3. Your pastor is the G.....No offense but he has to be educated on some issues...TNHW

      Delete
    4. I just think that one day, luck will run out on the church.

      Delete
    5. @ Uyi,I need no special education to understand what genotype is all about, you simply didn't understand my comment.

      @Nana and TNHW, He dosen't need no education cause he's adequately informed.

      I think my comment was misunderstood so let's leave it at that.

      Delete
    6. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 #MMM

      Delete
  4. @ Kene,

    Well, you'd never know if this would be your lot till you fall in love and find out her genotype. If that happens, sure you'd find some way to cross the bridge. Or as Thelma suggested, clear that up right from the first date.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok but you do know there is a medication that suppresses the beta Hb and allows the alpha and gama Hb. There is speculation that AS need be careful as in staying well hydrated careful when doing high intensity spots etc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's the name of this medication? And has it been approved by the FDA as yet??

      Delete
  6. I always say - You dont have to marry the person you love. You love her but you are both AS, accept your faith and end the relationship. No matter how painful it is. You have to think of the possible horror and pain the future holds if you have an SS child. Thats my advice.

    But Im the kinda nigga that if I was AS I will still go ahead to marry an AS. Im hard headed like that. I can be foolish like that. Not everybody can handle it.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've never had any love struggles due to my genotype cos it's literally one of the first things I ask any guy who even looks like he wants to ask me out. Once he's AS, I just shut down or put him in the friend zone.

    I can't even deal with the trauma of falling for someone and having to leave them cos of genotype.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Falling for someone... Weird. It's hard though.
      Being AS and stuff.

      Delete
  8. Am. AA. and am grateful to God for,funny how I have never had to date an AS before though. But like sunshine said,I think It's better to find out before starting off the relationship proper,that way,you both can save yourselves the heartbreaks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This story above was the exact story of my sister n her bae back then.

    It was a painful scene.
    Their case was so painful then. We thought our parents were both AA based on test carried out years back.
    The guy knew he was AS and my sis tot she was AA .

    Until my mom fell ill and another test confirmed she was AS. We did that test again n again. LOL.
    Infact everyone went back to test in 2 diff places.

    They both moved on and are both happily married now.

    It took the guy a long time to accept it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So marriage is all about having children and not about coupling with a great person that you truly could die for???
    Life is all about trade off, I would easily trade off having kids for love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... interesting perspective..

      Delete
    2. Baba! Think about this again. Your sure about this?

      Peace

      Delete
    3. Kon is it your love πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ abi is it your perspective πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ see as you took it personal!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Baba I'm with you jare! #LoveWins πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

      Delete
    4. I am very sure barrister Kon, having kids by anybody is easy you know. You want more?

      Delete
    5. Wale I could buy you ice cream for this.

      Delete
    6. Thank you @Wale... It's easy to give advice when u r on the clear... Btw adoption is an option having had one kid as an AS. Life is too short to be managing spouses...live jare

      Delete

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