Pls post this, I need advice I'm very down.
I'm supposed to get married at Easter next year and up until last week I was very excited because I was so sure I'm marrying the right man for me. We have dated for four years and we have never had any big fights aside from usual misunderstanding etc. We went out on Friday night with his friends, one of them newly started dating this chic that is hot sha. As in she's still in her 3rd year in Uni and her nickname is Nigerian Barbie even on social media, because she is very slim but her curves na die. You know, skinny and tiny waist but wide hips and big bum and quite busty too. And of course she plays up her sexuality so her hair; "Funmi Hair", false lashes, contoured face etc.
The first day we met her on Thursday as in I myself could tell her she was hot and if I could then of course my fiancé who is a guy would notice it too. So I wasn't very surprised when he made a remark to me about how she is very shapy, how "she has nice curves mehnnn". I smiled and let it slide. On Friday afternoon we went to hang out with them in her boyfriends house and she was wearing something like a lingerie. Later she got up to go and change and my boyfriend eyes was just glued to her. I tried to ignore it but next thing he started telling me "babe this girl is very sexy, Kai! She is too sexy. She's so freaking sexy". I was so mad honestly.
I know we have a kind of relationship where we are quite free with each other and if we see someone that is hot on social media or maybe even on the road we will talk about it together and just laugh about it. But this one was getting too much. My fiancé is not blind and I know he admires other chics but truth is that in 4 years of dating I don't think he has cheated on me, or I have just never caught him, and it's not for lack of trying. I know, and everyone knows how much he loves me, even when I'm not in the country and he hangs out with his friends, their own chics tell me how it's crazy that they never see him with anyone else even when I travel for months.
Going forward, when we went clubbing that night, nobody was dancing until they started playing some reggae jams. My boyfriend is a raggae fan, and apparently so is nigerian barbie. Both of them practically jumped up at the same time and started dancing, but not together sha. But this chic can dance oh. Next thing bobo started to stare at her practically drooling. Kai I was embarassed, even her own boyfriend wasn't looking at her like that. When he eventually sat down I had to beg him to stop staring at her like that. Of course on one hand I felt embarrassed, on the other hand I also felt insecure but that's not even the problem behind this mail so I will cut the long story short.
When we were driving to the hotel I still brought up the issue of him staring at her because I wanted him to admit it and apologize, so that next time he wil be more careful. He however kept denying it and this led to an argument in the car, with him shouting at me to shut up. I refused and next thing I know this guy gave me a dirty resounding slap on my face. Like the kind that deafen and blind you for some seconds. I swear I saw bright lights and I'm still having headaches on the side he slapped me.
I immediately jumped out of the car and he started shouting on me to get back into the car. I refused n tried to get my bag from inside but grabbed the collar of my dress that I should enter the car and I still refused, this resulted in him tearing my dress (new dress btw, one of my christmas shopping) into shreds. I ran into the hotel practically naked, but thank God it was like 3am, only the receptionist saw me.
Since the next morning till now he is still begging and swearing that he was high and I should forgive him. We came back to Abuja last night and he is saying he wants to go and he has told his brothers what happened, they called me to beg too. If he was a mere boyfriend I could easily forgive but this person is about to be my husband and I cannot deal with domestic violence. In our fours years of dating he has never touched me before so I'm tempted to believe him that it was a one off n only because of the alcohol, but on second thought, everybody says it starts with just one slap. Some people even say that some men are not abusive during the relationship but start after marriage. So I don't know whether that was a sign.
Please what do you think I should do? I can't tell anyone in my family or friends because I don't want them to know. Of course I still love him but I don't want to make a mistake. Please I know I sound stupid but is there anyone that has experienced that kind of one off physical assault and it never never happened again?