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Friday, 29 April 2016

I'm Not Equal To My Husband BUT I'm Equal To Other Men. (Open Letter To Women/Wives)





If this (Tbillz instagram posts) was actually posted by this guy, he is suffering from depression and I can state clearly that Tiwa neglected her responsibility as a wife. If your husband is suffering from depression he needs a lot of help and psychological reassurance that all is well. All these women keep saying "men can’t handle success bla bla bla" ….. It’s true some men can’t handle success, but if you look at homes that break due to the woman been successful, 50percent of the time it’s the woman’s fault

Some ppl will say why? My answer is this; if you are more financially bouyant than your husband and you married a responsible man it’s your responsibility to provide that security, do you ask him basic questions like how did your day go? Do you respect him infront of others? Have you tried making him a partner in that business? Do you honour him? Do you see yourself as a team mate or you have suddenly decided to assume the role of a leader? 

At the end of the day all these boils down to choice of life partner. If you know that you will be a wealthy woman, please ask for God's guidance when picking a spouse and also understand you will need to be very humble to keep a home. I said humble not stupid! Be firm but soft, be kind, be tender hearted, if he’s a responsible man let him know you are his employee and you are making all that money for him!!! I said if he’s responsible!!! Let him manage the finance!!! The money maker is not the one to manage the finance of the home otherwise there will be no decentralization of power. 

Please be wise women, marry with Gods guidance and ask for wisdom to keep your home! I know some ppl will come with their feminist propaganda!!! I’m a feminist but a sensible one, that's why I should honor my husband and submit to him alone and not all men. I’m not equal to my husband because he is a leader but I’m equal with other men! Toye (my husband) is the only human being aside my parents I’ve been instructed to submit to. So if I seat as a CEO in a financial institution my male colleagues are not superior to me. 

I believe in my ability and mental capacity to create wealth like any other human being and I’m sex (male and female ) blind. I can achieve what so ever I set my heart to do, but after all is said and done I’m an employee of my husband and I’ve been called to fulfil his vision. I may have the ability to mentally create wealth at a faster rate than him, but that doesn’t make him a follower he is still the leader of the home and I’m under his authority. 

A reasonable man will see you as a branch of him not a competition and it’s your responsibility as a woman to ensure you are well grafted into the tree and produce credible fruits for your husband. An unfruitful branch will eventually be cut off .



***
What you just read above is a comment I saw on Bella Naija under the Tbill social media breakdown post yesterday. I found this comment to be so intriguing that I just had to share. 

Thoughts?

Nigeria Is The Wrongest Country To Be Depressed In- (A Familiar Foe)




Following Tbillz meltdown on social media yesterday, a lot of people are speaking up about depression and showing a lot of support for people experiencing this ailment. One of such people is former beauty queen, journalist and author, Karen Eloke Young. 

She shared some tweets to talk about her battle with depression. 






It saddened me to read these tweets and still read some comments saying depression is an aje-butter/"rich people" problem. 


I just wanted to quickly add that ever since I posted "A Familiar Foe", a post about my mood swings, and some blog readers, J especially, said Thelma you can control it jor, I haven't had a single mood swing. It's not that things haven't happened that upset me, it's just that I realized that there are other better ways to handling things than letting it affect my mood. Guess what, I feel a lot better and I'm no longer snapping at people. LOL. Also, I've noticed that I'm a lot more cheerful and more chatty with people, regardless of my mood. It wasn't even hard, I simply realized that indeed I could control it. (Now I need to point out that I wasn't depressed, I'm rarely ever depressed, even in the worst mood swings I'm simply irritable or impatient. So please I'm not downplaying depression. You need to get help if you are). 

You see why it's good to talk about things? A closed mouth does not get fed, if I hadn't shared about my moods on the blog I'd probably still be being nasty to the boo and he might have picked race by now. Hehe. 

So some times you need to open your mouth and share what's eating you up inside. And when you're on the listening end, please don't be like Karen's "friends" who were impatient with her or just didn't care about her enough. 

If you're dealing with depression please get help. I'm no professional but I'm always willing to offer a listening ear and/or even recommend someone who's professionally qualified to handle issues like yours. If you've got something on your chest that you would like to share on the blog, you're free to either do so in the comment section or mail me. 


Thursday, 28 April 2016

RAIN!!!





-Was his account hacked?

-Why can't Nigerian men handle it when their wives are successfull!

-Tiwa must be a bad wife, Teebillz was wrong to post this on social media but it's all Tiwa's fault. 

-His account must have been hacked. 

-The truth of the matter is that you bring nothing to the table as a man, so how do you want to earn her respect? Na you reverse the duty and you should be man enough to carry your agbelebu.

-His account wasn't hacked. The details are too personal. 

-Depression is real, he needs to get help. 

- I didn’t want to be the one to say it. But they are probably about to do something big. Using publicity stunt to increase sales
-Tiwa Savage put her career first, now see what has happened. 

-All these female entertainers, the things they do for fame. Yes I believed she fucked don jazzy. 

-That account wasn't hacked, it's not news that Tbillz fucks everything in skirt. 

-But this Tbillz is a typical nigerian man, blaming everyone for his problems but not taking even tiny responsibility for anything. Blamed his father for being irresponsible and marrying 4 times, blamed Tiwa's mother for using his star to make Tiwa shine, blame Tiwa for being a bad wife and neglecting her marriage... Hian!


And in response to the above; 

-If you know where he lives why not go there instead of saying he should drive by?
Banky may be concerned but the other two I think it’s for show!


-As in ehhh! I taya for N6. Someone is obviously suicidal and u begging the person to drive by your house…to do what? Shoot you? Mtschew!
(This had me rolling on the floor laughing)

-Wait, did she really fuck Don Jazzy, Dr Sid and Tuface? Jesu!!!

-Hmm. I feel or rather think….in a couple of hours, he will come out to say”i was hacked” Lmao. But let’s get real, yes, Tiwa is a superstar. If she isn’t a good wife, well, you” made “her that way. Mixing managing with hubby role was quite stupid of you cuz you are an employee to her brand and so it blurs the line greatly. while you were enjoying the 15% you was earning off her, you thought getting married would get your ass more $$$ but it didn’t. Omawumi(a superstar) is not as big a brand as Tiwa(doromegasuperstar) #Fact. Omawumi(down to earth ajekpako) is not the same person Tiwa(ajebutter who puts career first) is #fact. You are being silly about this because Tiwa will beg you to resolve this issue because of the potential harm it will cause to her career #Fact. You will come out to claim “my account was hacked” #FACT. 

-Now they're saying his account was hacked. Lies!!! If it was hacked then why did it take them so long to say so? Why was his phone switched off when his celebrity friends were trying to reach out to him? Why is Tiwa Savage still silent?


Above are some comments I found interesting from various blog. And some blogs have no chill, the image above which I got from Twitter was gotten from a blog. Nigerians ooo, you won't kill somebody. 
***


There's way too much ruckus this morning over the Tbillz public meltdown (Yup, that's a real  meltdown, leave all that "hacked account" yarns) and I'm just here sipping hot tea and thanking God for the rain!!!


I actually have no opinion on this or maybe I'm just too weak to form any right now. But if you do, by all means tell us what's on your mind. 


Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Tell Me Something...





With this weather, the economy, power situation, Buhari, Lagos traffic, fuel situation etc etc etc, there's a million things to rant about, but I'm sure in all, we have some things to be thankful for. 

I'd like each and everyone of you to share at least one thing that made you happy today. 


Today, I received good news. 

So in December 2015 someone gave me some job to do several things with a company they need in order to bid for a contract of several several millions. We needed these things to all be sorted out in a few weeks, end of January at the latest. Alas, this job has been fraught with one issue after the other which finally led to me taking the last flight into Abuja on Thursday two weeks back, as I had to go to the CAC Headquarters in Maitama and find out for myself what exactly is going on. A job that should have taken three weeks was taking over four months and my clients were getting very agitated and putting me under severe pressure. I nearly started having panic attacks as I feared that if they were unable to bid for the contract because of (me) it will all be on my head. That was a very scary thought. 

I went to Abuja and I saw things for myself, I did this and that and was told halfheartedly that things would be sorted. So I returned, yet nothing changed. Yesterday I even received another query and a lot of heat from my clients (the fault was actually from their quarters but I guess people pay for results, not accusations, so I had to deliver results!). I actually went to bed feeling very unhappy. 

I woke up this morning feeling a lot of weight on my shoulders. 

Well I stepped out of the bathroom and saw a message on my phone saying my file had gone through. 

Guys, it may not sound like a big deal but I've been waiting to hear these words since January 21st! At least now nobody will say "Miss Thelma we didn't get the contract because of you" *Whew!*. (And yes, I believe my clients are going to get that contract and that's another thing I'll testify about soon... Amen!)

Oh wow, that made me very happy. 


Unfortunately not much else happened that made me happy today *sobs* save for the fact that I woke up, I'm healthy and I have an awesome family!

Now it's your turn, tell me one thing that made you happy TODAY. 


Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Toke Makinwa vs Rukky Sanda vs Linda Ikeji. Who's Your Style Star?





I know this seems such an unlikely trio to put together but we can't deny that these stylistas have one thing in common; they love to play dress up and we always want to see what they'll wear next. They're also huge (designer) label junkies, especially Rukky Sanda and Linda Ikeji. Basically, they're three celebrities whose style I love to check out and I'd love to know whose you love the most. 


































Who's style do you love the most? Do tell. 



Source; Instagram. 

I Just Can't With Bae!




I am in my early twenties and in a long term relationship for over 4 years. My problem is that my boyfriend is a gossiper in the true sense of the word. I found it funny when occasionally we would engage in gossip but his mouth has now ran amuck. He talks everyday for hours on the phone with female friends about other girls and I am growing evermore concerned. He says he is advising them (female friends) but all I hear is gossip! To make it worse he does not work so I get annoyed that he is using his time talking about rubbish when he could be applying for good job. I get easily irritated with him and it is affecting the way I look at him as this is not a manly characteristic in my view. I don't know how to approach this subject with him without offending him. Leaving him is not an option, I love him. Please advice...I'm in love with a gbeborun.



***
Hahaha. So I was reading this on @break_or_makeup on Instagram and it got me laughing hard. I'm sure for the poster it's no laughing matter but the truth is, no matter how madly in love you are with someone, they're still going to have some traits or characters that drive you up the wall. 

Let's have fun guys, let's talk about those annoying traits bae has that sometimes gets on your nerves. 
SPILL!!!
  
I don't mind going first. I'm "seeing" someone and his would be 

1. Being Mr Nice Guy. As in, God loves a cheerful-giver and all that, but when everyone (read chics) knows that you're a cheerful giver and begins to treat you like their personal ATM machine, then they're playing with MY money and it gets on MY nerves. LOL. 

2. Social media. Nah, I really just can't with this one. I don't want to get started on him and social media. If I start I wouldn't stop but suffice it to say it gets on my last nerves!!!!!


Haha! So that's mine, share yours with me. And oh, what advise would you give this poor girl who's in love with a gbeborun?

Foluke Daramola & Instagram Users At Each Other's Throats Over Anti-Feminist Talk.




Ever since Nigerian actress Foluke Daramola made the statement during a recent interview with New Telegraph, she has received a lot of backlash, this apparently being the most recent. 

For those who didn't read it, here's what she said;

I’m sorry I don’t think men and women should have equal rights in this case. I think the male should have more than the female, but it should be with proportion, maybe on a ratio of 60 to 40. The reason why I think so is because we women tend to be extremely domineering when it comes to issues and sometimes sentimental. Men can be detailed even though we are sometimes. So, there are proportions in all these things. The role of a man can never be over emphasized. Even though I’m a woman rights activist, I still believe in the place of a woman and a man. The man is supposed to be a step ahead of the woman; you can never take that away.


Now here goes the saga!

P






When I read what Foluke Daramola said I was dumbfounded, I also knew she would get a lot of heat for her choice of words. But... true feminism isn't about bashing other women for their choices. There are better ways to get one's point across, yes?

Some fans be taking things way too personal...

#LEMONADE #BringBackOurBeyonce #ShamelessExploitation #PiersMorgan





Last night I read through Piers Morgan's article on the New unImproved Beyoncé. And while I sometimes want to bite his head off, (especially when he's attacking bae, Kim Kardashian), I couldn't help but think he had some rather valid points this time around. 

These are some excerpts of the Daily Mail article;

I never like it when entertainers go all political.
The cynic in me believes it’s rarely done for genuine reasons but for strictly commercial ones.

Which brings me to Beyoncé and her new ‘visual-album’, Lemonade

Now, I bow to no man nor woman when it comes to my admiration for this lady... She’s a global brand, one of the best in the business, and has generally steered studiously clear of saying or doing anything too contentious which might polarise that audience – preferring to entertain for the sake of entertaining.
But just lately, Beyonce’s been adding a far more serious, deeply political and race-fuelled tone to her work.

In February of this year, she dropped the song “Formation” which contained references to the activist movement Black Lives Matter.
A video accompanying it included Beyoncé strewn across a sinking police car in a withering throwback to police mistreatment of the black community in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
Other scenes showed a wall bearing the graffiti “Stop Shooting Us” and a young black boy dancing in a hoodie in front of a line of policemen.

It was seen, understandably, as an attack on U.S. police.
The next day, Beyoncé sang Formation during the half-time Superbowl show and stepped up the police-hating theme with a tribute to the militant activist group, Black Panthers.
Her back-up dancers had Panthers-style afro hairstyles and black berets, formed an X on the pitch and punched the air in the style of the famous black power salute.
Beyoncé herself wore black leather and a bandolier of bullets.
To say this was a provocative statement is putting it mildly.
The Black Panthers, set up as a group who would protect black Americans from police brutality, became infamous for their own brutality, especially against police, and widespread criminal and murderous membership within their ranks.

Now, just two months later, she has released her full album Lemonade.

Many of the instant headlines attached to it focus on her apparent calling out of husband Jay-Z as a love cheat.
But I was far more drawn to the politically-charged content in much of the rest of it.
There’s a clip of Malcolm X, the radical and controversial black separatist who opposed Dr Martin Luther King’s creed of non-violence, saying: ‘The most disrespected person in America is the black woman.’

Another shows two grieving mothers appearing on camera. The first is Lesley McSpadden, filmed crying as she holds a photo of her late son Mike Brown who was shot dead by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri in 2014 – an incident which sparked huge protests.
The second is Sybrina Fulton, whose 17-year-old son Trayvon Martin was killed in Florida by a local vigilante George Zimmerman in a case that sparked national outrage in 2012.

I have huge personal sympathy for both women and there is no doubt that African-Americans have been treated appallingly by certain rogue elements within the country’s police forces.
But I felt very uneasy watching these women being used in this way to sell an album. It smacks of shameless exploitation.

The new Beyoncé wants to be seen as a black woman political activist first and foremost, entertainer and musician second.
I still think she’s a wonderful singer and performer, and some of the music on Lemonade is fantastic.
But I have to be honest, I preferred the old Beyoncé. The less inflammatory, agitating one.
The one who didn’t use grieving mothers to shift records and further fill her already massively enriched purse. The one who didn’t play the race card so deliberately and to my mind, unnecessarily.
The one who wanted to be judged on her stupendous talent not her skin color, and wanted us all to do the same. 


***

I think it's great to use one's platform to influence and create positive change. But really, I do not like this new Beyoncé much as an entertainer. Her lyrics suddenly became crude (from the Drunk In Love era), her songs are no longer entertaining and I'm still trying to figure out calling out your cheating husband so publicly if you're still going to stay with him anyways. Like, what's the point in that?

But it's King Bey so it's ok, right? 

Still it's good that she's talking about things that really matter, seeing as racism and police brutality seems to be getting worse by the day, and no I don't believe she's using these issues to boost album sales. But while Bey remains an entertainer, I would love for some of her music to retain that same wholesome goodness it used to have. 
And yes, Beyoncé as you're fighting for black lives, can you please for once call your Beyhive to order? Their bullying is sometimes worse than racism sef *rme*. 


Well these are my thoughts, what's yours? Are you loving the new Beyoncé or nah?

Fulani Herdsmen Have Been Given a Mandate To Kill Nigerians. But That's Fine, I'm Biafran.











A few weeks ago I finally conceded to my Pro-Biafran friend and agreed that Nigeria is not One. It's the song they've seen singing for eons but I always find my own little reasons to refute their theories. In the past weeks we've nearly become deafened with almost daily news of attacks on innocent people by these supposed Fulani Herdsmen. What is even more deafening is the silence of our President, Buhari. 

It's simply ridunculous. Lives are being lost over maalu, blood is being shed, whole communities are being attacked and razed to nothing, yet our President has zilch to say. President Buhari, I hail thee. Nigerians kpele o! Please where can I procure my Biafra passport? 



Tweets: Linda Ikeji's blog. 

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